Chapter One
Halloween and a Half
Disclaimer – I don’t own and of the characters from Buffy or Ranma ½.
YAHF – Convinced by Willow to try a different costume, Xander now has to deal with a gender-shifting curse, assassination attempts, crazy martial arts techniques and a chaos mage who decides to stick around to enjoy the fun.
I'm surprised by how few Ranma crossovers there are for Buffy and how few are actually good. This is my silly attempt (and first Buffy fic even though I've read them for a while), even though it has been done before. First chapter pretty much is just the Halloween episode with the required tweaks etc.
x-X-x Halloween.
Buffy, Willow and Xander mope into the school lounge. All three of them looked dejected as they had just been enlisted by Principal Snyder to take a bunch of kids trick-or-treating.
“I can't believe this. We have to dress up and the whole deal?” Xander complained as they walked towards a free table.
“Snyder said costumes were 'mandatory'.” Willow sighed.
“Great. I was going to stay in and veg. It's the one night a year that things are supposed to be quiet for me.” Buffy grumbled pulling out a chair and dumping her bag on the table.
“Halloween quiet? I figured it would be a big old vamp 'scare-a-palooza'.” Xander asked in a surprised tone.
“Not according to Giles. He swears that tomorrow night is, like, dead for the un-dead. They stay in.”
“Those wacky vampires. That's what I love about 'em. They just keep you guessing.”
Buffy and Willow both sit down while Xander stops by the drinks machine. He puts in change, presses the button for a can. Nothing comes out.
“Aww, come on.” Xander mutters banging on the machine. He flinches as a large hand drops onto his shoulder, startling him. He turns around to find its Larry, one of his least favourite jocks.
“Harris.” Larry greets, making it sound like a threat.
“Larry. Looking very cro-mag, as usual.” Xander quips. “What can I do for you?”
Larry takes a glance over at where Buffy and Willow were sitting and talking quietly at the table. “You and Buffy, you're just friends, right?”
“I like to think of it less as a friendship and more as a solid foundation for future bliss…”
“So she's not your girlfriend?” Larry interrupts impatiently.
“Alas, no.”
“You think she'd go out with me?”
“Well, Lar, that's a hard question to…no. Not a chance.” Xander tells the larger teen.
“Why not? I heard some guys say she was fast.” Larry hints with a lecherous smirk.
“I hope you mean in the 'like the wind' sense.” Xander growls, losing all sense of joking at the insinuation.
“You know what I mean.” Larry leers, leaning in closer.
“That's my friend you're talking about.” Xander snarls furiously and without thinking grabs hold of Larry's shirt. Larry looks at Xander with a mix of excitement and amusement that the smaller teen would even try to threaten him. He pulls up to his full height.
“Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it?”
“I'm going to do what any man would do about it. Something…damn manly.” Xander tries to shove Larry into the soda machine, but Larry barely budges. Larry draws his fist back, ready to let Xander have it. Xander grimaces and braces himself when Larry's arm is dragged away by Buffy.
Before either could react, Buffy spins Larry around and pins his arm behind his back. Then with a shove she slams him into the soda machine, which rocks and releases a drink.
“Get gone.” Buffy tells the bully. Larry doesn't wait to be asked twice. He scurries off as Buffy takes the can out of the vending slot.
“Ooh. Diet.” she grins happily. Xander just stands there.
“Do you know what you just did?” he asked aghast.
“Saved a dollar?”
“Larry was about to pummel me.”
“Oh, that. Forget about it.” Buffy waves off what she thinks is gratitude.
“I will.” Xander snaps, fuming about what had just happened. “Maybe fifteen, twenty years from now. When my rep for being a sissy-man finally fades.”
“Xander…”
“A black eye heals, Buffy. But cowardice has a nearly unlimited shelf-life.” Xander informs her. “…But thanks. Thanks for your help.” He stomps off.
“I think I just violated the guy code. Big time.” Buffy states as Willow and her share a knowing look.
“Poor Xander. Boys are so fragile.”
x-X-x Later that day, they found themselves at a costume shop that had just opened. It was a musty, run-down shop, stocked with every kind of costume imaginable. The place is packed with kids searching for costumes to wear for the next night.
Buffy moved through the store, searching unenthusiastically for something to dress up as. Willow approaches her.
“What did you find?” Buffy queries as Willow steps up.
“A time honoured classic.” Willow replies with a grin and pulls her costume from the bag she carried. The package showed a person covered with a large white ghost sheet, complete with eyeholes, a ghostly smile and the word BOO stencilled on it.
“Willow. Can I give you a little friendly advice?” Buffy asks, deeply concerned about her friend's taste.
“It's not spooky enough?” Willow asks double-checking the packaging.
“It's just, you're never going to get noticed if you keep hiding. You're missing the whole point of Halloween.”
“Free candy?” Willow suggested.
“It's come as you aren't night. The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild with no repercussions.”
“I don't get wild. Wild on me equals 'spaz'.”
“You've got it in you, Will. You're just scared…”
“Hey Xander. What did you get?” Xander appeared in just the nick of time for Willow to change the subject.
“Nothing yet.” Xander sighed. “All the toy guns were sold.”
“Toy guns? Why a gun? And anyway, that's not a costume.” Buffy exclaimed in exasperation.
“Guns are
manly and I've got some fatigues from the Army surplus at home. Was going to go as an army guy…”
Hearing the manly comment made Buffy feel guilty about upsetting Xander earlier. She began to apologise. “Hey, Xander, about this morning. I'm really sorry…”
Xander interrupted her. “Do you mind, Buffy? I'm trying to repress.”
“I promise I'll let you get pummelled from now on.” Buffy said and then paused wondering if that sounded as bad as she thought it did. Xander quickly found his resolve to stay angry with Buffy draining away.
“Thank you. Okay. Actually, I think I could have…” He came to a halt mid-sentence, noticing that Buffy's attention had completely wandered away from him. “Hello? That was our touching reconciliation you just left.”
“Sorry…” Buffy turned back and apologised before she nodded towards the racks. “It's just, look at that.”
All three of them turn their attention to see what Buffy was looking at. There was a beautiful 18th century gown draped over a mannequin in the store. It looked almost exactly like the one in the picture from the watcher diaries. Buffy moved over to the dress, mesmerized, followed closely by Willow and Xander.
“It's…amazing.” Willow agreed taking it all in.
“Too bulky. I prefer my women in spandex.” Xander remarked.
Buffy reaches out, still mesmerized by the gown. Her finger's almost touched the gown when a voice, with a hint of a British accent speaks out.
“Please. Let me.” Ethan Rayne, the shop owner, approached the teens. He had a devilish glint in his eye, like that of a young boy about to do mischief.
“It's…” Buffy begins.
“Magnificent. I know.” Ethan finishes taking down the gown from the mannequin. He turns and holds it up to Buffy with a flourish. “My. Meet the hidden princess.”
A perfectly placed mirror showed that indeed, with the dress held in front of her, Buffy looked completely different.
“I think we've made a match, don't you?” Ethan grinned in anticipation.
“I'm sorry. There's no way I can afford this.” Buffy tried to explain, guessing that the gown was expensive.
“Nonsense. I feel quite…moved…to make you a deal you can't refuse.”
Buffy turns back to her image in the mirror to admire herself. It was too good to be true. Ethan smiled at the slayer. Perfect.
“Well. As much as I love gushing over dresses,” Xander spoke up breaking the spell. “I'll be over…here.” He pointed randomly. “Looking for something…a little more manly.”
Buffy and Willow exchange a knowing glance.
“He's still mad about this morning.” Buffy stated.
“Yup.” Willow agreed watching her best friend poking around the costumes. “Hey, I know. Why don't we try and find a costume for him?”
“Shall we bag this for you now?” Ethan asked Buffy.
“Oh! Sure.” Buffy startled for a moment before turning to Willow. “I'll just sort this out.”
“Kay, I'll start looking.” she nodded and turned back to the racks as Buffy was led away by Ethan.
Willow began poking around various costumes, sliding them aside on their hangers.
“No. No. No. Maybe…No.” she mumbled to herself as costume after costume was checked and discarded. “Oh my gosh!” she paused and double-checked her find. The red silk, sleeveless Chinese styled shirt, complete with wooden ties. Black silk kung-fu pants and slippers. There was even a pair of leather wrist braces and a pigtailed wig. Having more than a slight passing of anime knowledge, Willow easily knew who wore this costume. She grinned and glanced over towards Xander, who stood with Buffy now. They were looking at the racks nearer to the counter.
She could easily imagine Xander in it and giggled at the thought. Could she get him to wear this?
“No offence Buffy,” Willow overheard Xander say. “I'm a guy! I don't do tights.”
“It's Robin Hood. He was manly.” Buffy responded, lifting the offensively bright green leggings.
The “I'm a guy!” comment cinched it for Willow. It would be perfect.
“Xander! You've so got to try this one.” Willow beamed as she presented the costume to him. Xander examined the costume clearly unimpressed.
“Is that real silk?” Buffy asked feeling the material.
“Silk? That's like only one-step up from tights. I'm not wearing that.” Xander grumbled. Why did his friends all want to get him into less than manly costumes? It was a conspiracy. Willow's face fell and he began feeling like a tool.
“But it’s worn by one of the greatest martial artists ever.” Willow explained, trying to convince her friend to wear it.
“Martial artist? Like in Bruce Lee?” Xander asked feeling his resolve began to crumble.
“Better than Bruce Lee.” Willow promised with a growing grin. Xander's resolve began cracking.
“I…don't know…” Xander leaned in closer. Those wrist braces were somewhat cool. “But silk? It's kinda Elton John concert isn’t it?”
“Xander, this guy is a master of over ten styles of martial arts, including his own family's style. He has girls throwing themselves at him. Guys trying to beat him cause they're jealous. And he's like the avatar of chaos!”
Ethan's head rose up from the counter at Willow's continued spiel. A curious expression crossed his face, followed shortly by a wicked grin of amusement as Willow continued.
“Everywhere he goes these crazy things and battles happen. Of course he always wins too, cause he's just that damned awesome.” Willow explained enthusiastically. Of course, she wasn't going to mention he was cursed to turn into a girl.
“What's his name?” Xander pondered taking the costume from Willow.
“Ranma. It means Wild Horse.”
“Wild eh?” Xander was sold as his resolve collapsed into little bitty pieces. “Although, this might cost way more than two dollars.”
“I'll help you out.” Willow promised.
“Me too.” Buffy agreed. “I've got a little money left. My dress was a bargain.”
“How much for this?” Xander asked crossing over to the counter.
“Well now.” Ethan pretended to ponder. “Make me an offer.” He grinned devilishly. Who was he to deny a potential avatar of chaos?
x-X-x “Here it comes…” Spike mutters to himself as he and another vampire watch the row of televisions. On one screen runs the video of Buffy's fight from the night before. The light from the televisions casts dancing shadows around the darkened lair as the master vampire watches them with a single-minded concentration.
On the screen, he sees Buffy fall onto a pumpkin, crushing it. Then she gets up, grabs a baby pumpkin and throws it with precision to hit her opponent in the face, stunning the vampire momentarily.
“Rewind that. I want to see it again.” Spike begins pacing. “She's tricky. Baby likes to play.”
The video plays again. This time Spike points to the part where Buffy breaks off the sign and stakes the vampire with it.
“See that? Where she stakes him with that thing? That's what you call resourceful.” he exclaims. “Rewind again.”
“Miss Edith needs her tea.” Drusilla's dreamy voice drifts across the room. Spike turns to see Drusilla, who has wandered in with one of her dolls. She is her pouty and dreamy usual self.
“Come here, poodle.” Spike welcomes her, waving her over, but his attention turns back to the video of Buffy. Drusilla crosses over to him and dreamily floats around him. He puts his arms around her, drawing her close.
“Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?”
“Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet. That's why I have to study this slayer. Once I know her, I can kill her. And once I kill her, you can have your run of Sunnyhell and get strong again.”
“Everything's switching. Outside to inside. It makes her weak.”
“Really. Did my pet have a vision?” Spike asks, his attention now fully fixed upon Drusilla.
“Do you know what I want? A pony.”
“Talk to daddy. This thing that makes the slayer weak. When is it?”
“Tomorrow.”
“But tomorrow is Halloween. Nothing happens on Halloween.” Spike exclaimed and looked confused.
“Someone's come to change it all. Someone new.”
x-X-x Buffy stood before of her mirror, fully decked in her costume, the gown from Ethan's costume shop. She also has a brunette wig on, the hair elegantly piled up. She looked stunning.
“Where are you meeting Angel?” Willow calls from the bathroom.
“Here. After trick-or-treating. Mom's gonna be out.”
“Does he know about your costume?”
“Nope. Call it a blast from his past. I'll show him I can coif with the best of 'em.” Buffy remarks with a happy grin. She pauses for a moment. “Come on out, Will. You can't stay in there all night.”
“Okay. But don't laugh.”
Buffy turns around.
“I won't…” She stops dead when she sees Willow, who emerges from the bathroom in the costume Buffy picked out for her. Total rocker babe, black halter-top, leather mini-skirt, boots. She was drop dead gorgeous, and very uncomfortable.
“Wow.” Buffy exclaims.
Willow grabs her ghost sheet and immediately turns back for the bathroom. Buffy stops her, taking her lightly by the arm and leading Willow over to the mirror.
“Will. You're a dish! I mean, really!”
“But this just isn't me.” Willow whines and indicates herself.
“That's the point! Halloween is the night that's not you, is you, but not you, you know?”
While Willow struggles to decipher the meaning of, and find a way of responding to Buffy's strange logic, the doorbell rings.
“That's Xander. You ready?” Buffy asks.
“Yeah. Okay.” Willow smiles timidly, despite the deer caught in the headlights look on her face.
“Cool! I can't wait to watch the boys go non-verbal when they see you.” Buffy remarks leaving the room and heading down the stairs to the front door. She opens it.
Xander enters, dressed in the Chinese style silks and leather wrist braces. He adjusts the pigtailed wig as he steps through the door, unsure about it. When he spots Buffy, he forgets the wig.
“Buffy. My Lady of Buffdom. The duchess of Buffonia. I am in awe. I completely renounce spandex.”
“Thank you, kind sir. But wait till you see…”
“Hi.” Willow greets coming down the stairs, covered in her ghost sheet with a little sign that says “Boo!” hanging from a string.
“…Casper.” Buffy finishes lamely.
“Hey, Will. That's a fine 'BOO' you have there.” Xander says.
Buffy looks at her, disappointed. Willow just hangs her head.
x-X-x Xander stood off to one side in main entranceway to Sunnydale High School, waiting around for the troll of a principal to bring his group of sugar high munchkins. He watched the various kids and teens in costumes go past. There was an abundance of demons, goblins, ghosts, witches and of course plenty of little vampires. He'd also seen a couple of super-heroes and a fairy, all of which were running around with trick-or-treat bags.
It was then Xander noticed Larry heading his way, dressed as a very unimaginative pirate. A white t-shirt, pair of baggy shorts and an eye patch.
“Where's your bodyguard, Harris? Curling her hair?” Larry grinned leaning over Xander, who glares up at him. Larry suddenly half lunges with his hands raised at Xander, who flinches. Laughing at Xander, Larry moves off. Xander gives the larger teen another glare.
“So much for feeling manly.” Xander mutters. He scratched at the itchy wig and waited for Snyder to bring him his group. He didn't have to wait long.
“Okay Mr. Harris. These are yours. Bring them back before six thirty.” Snyder commanded and then left.
Xander studies his group for a moment before he dished out his advice.
“Okay. On sleazing extra candy. Tears are key. Tears'll usually get you a double-bagger. You can also try the old 'you missed me' routine…but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate. Understood?”
The kids all nod.
“Good. Let's go.”
x-X-x Shortly after Dark…
Xander glanced up as the first screams rent the air followed closely by car alarms and other sounds of chaos. He spun around trying to see what was going on, when something hits him. A wave of dizziness washes over him. Seconds later he drops to the ground face first.
A moment later, he groans and sits up, rubbing at his head.
“Damn tomboys.” Xander states before looking around in surprise at the unfamiliar street. He slowly climbed to his feet, all the while taking in the sights of your everyday American suburb. An everyday suburb that had been taken over by mini-demons. He scratched the back of his head confused by what his eyes where showing him. “Wow…I really must have pissed her off to get hammered all the way to America.” He sighed. “Gonna be long swim back…”
While he was pondering his situation, a hairy monster paused in its rampage down the street and turned towards him. Its yellow eyes twinkled in excitement and hunger as it lurched towards its next meal.
Xander noticed it approaching and casually dismissed it as no threat to himself. The hairy beast roared as it reared back and launched itself forward to grab the seemingly unsuspecting human. It came to a complete standstill as Xander placed his foot into its face halting its lunge. The monster's arms windmilled around comically as Xander held it off at a distance with his foot.
“Hmm, I can't remember upsetting Akane recently.” Xander muttered as the monster backed off. It sneezed and snorted, rubbing at its nose.
“Weird.” Xander lowered his foot and turned away. He crossed his arms deep in thought. The monster re-accessed the meal before it and lashed out with a downward swipe of its clawed hand. Xander spun on the spot and avoided the blow completely as he began pacing, ignoring the monster. “So, if I didn't upset Akane, cause my head don't hurt, how'd I get here?”
The monster stared dumbfounded at its empty hand.
“Think Saotome, what's the last thing you remember?” Xander avoided another swipe of monster claws by ducking under them. With a roar of frustration that its meal wasn't being cooperative, the monster took another grab for the pigtailed teen.
“Do you mind?” Xander growled back as he caught the monster's wrist in an iron grip. “I'm trying to think here!” he slammed an open palm into the monster's chest, knocking the air from its lungs in a whoosh and let go of its wrist. The hairy creature launched across the street until it crashed into a parked car. The car rocked on its wheels and its alarm began shrieking from the impact.
The monster sat up wide-eyed and gasped for air. It blinked rapidly in confusion at the pigtailed youth before re-accessing its chances of an easy meal. The monster decided to go chase easier prey. It lurched off into the night with a whimper.
Xander snorted as the distraction ran off down the street, when his finely honed senses picked out something supernatural approaching. It felt like a ghost.
'Oh great, not another one.' he sighed and spun around into a ready stance.
Willow drew up short as Xander rounded on her with a fist raised.
“Xander, it's me. Willow!”
Seeing her, Xander cautiously lowered his guard.
“Err…what did my Pop's do this time?” Xander sighed in annoyance, but was still wary. “Desecrated your grave? Promised to get us married? Or sold me for food?”
Willow blinked before responding. “Quit messing around, Xander. This is no time for jokes!”
“So…none of that?”
“Xander!”
“Phew!” Xander sighed dramatically. “Usually a cute girl…err, ghost…girl-ghost like you is out to marry or kill me.” He paused a moment and then remarked on the way she spoke his name. “Heh, crazy American ghosts can't even pronounce my name right.”
“Oh my gosh! You actually think you're Ranma?” Willow realised.
“Think?” Xander gave her a look that said she was crazy.
“Xander. Listen to me. I'm on your side, I swear. Something crazy is happening. I was dressed as a ghost for Halloween and now I am a ghost. You were dressed as Ranma, and now, I guess you are Ranma…”
“Okay, I believe you.”
“…so…wait what?” Willow boggled.
“This ain't the weirdest thing to ever happen to me.” Xander snorted.
A sudden growl from nearby distracted them and as one they turned their eyes over to one side. A little vampire emerged from the bushes hissing evilly at them.
“I'll take care of this.” Xander made a fist and took a step towards the short vampire.
“No! Don't hurt it! That's still a little kid in there!”
“A kid? You sure?”
Willow nods in confirmation and Xander sighs.
“Feh, don't worry. Watch this!” he smirks draws his fist back and then slams it into the road. The road craters from the impact as Xander buries his fist up to his wrist into the concrete. The little vampire's eyes widen in surprise from the display of superior strength and it flees.
“Wow…Xander…just…wow.” Willow gapes at the sheer strength Xander now possessed. Even Buffy couldn't do that.
“Heh, nothing to…Hmm?” Xander glances down, as there is a rumbling sound, seconds before water geysers up out of the impact zone right into his face. He had hit a water main.
“Gah!” Xander splutters and leaps back as water soaked him to the bone and then began raining down all over the area.
“Typical.” Xander mutters wringing out his, now her pigtail in annoyance.
Willow's eyes went wide and she stared dumbfounded. Xander had just changed into a girl. A short girl with red hair, who looked just like Ranma's cursed form. Xander muttered something about pandas and tightened her pants drawstring. She then noticed Willow was still staring. She sighed, guessing she'd have to explain the curse.
“It’s…” Xander began to say.
“A Jusenkyo curse…yeah, I know.” Willow blinked her surprise away as she realised she wasn't as surprised as she should be. She suddenly paused seeing Buffy wandering around the street looking around in confusion.
“Buffy!” Willow calls out and races over to Buffy. Xander follows, dripping water all over. “Buffy, are you okay?”
Buffy looks at the pair in confusion, as if she didn't recognise them. As they approach her, there is another roar. They turn and see the little vampire has seemingly found backup with a full-sized demon. Willow and Xander watch the approaching demons, Willow in worry and Xander in annoyance, while Buffy goes ramrod straight in shock. Then her eyes roll up in her head and she faints.
“Looks like Shorty has found backup.” Xander stated.
“Buffy, what do we do?” Willow asks not noticing that Buffy had just fainted.
“I'll handle this.” Xander stepped forward and focused as the two demons charged. “Double Moko Takabisha!” She called out as a bluish ball of chi burst from each palm and knocked the two demons off their feet. She frowned at her hands as the demons decided they needed even more backup and scampered off. “That was…a little too hard…and too weak.” Xander muttered.
“Those were real chi blasts!” Willow exclaimed.
“Huh? Oh yeah. Easy peasy when you're the best!” Xander replies snapping out of her reverie. She notices the collapsed Buffy and points. “Is she okay?”
Willow kneels down and tries to shake Buffy awake, but her hands just past through the other girl's shoulder. Xander holds her hands behind her back and bobs up and down on her toes, waiting as Buffy slowly begins to pull around.
“Buffy! Are you all right?” Willow quickly asks the confused looking slayer.
“What?”
“Ya're not hurt?” Xander asks.
“Buffy, are you hurt?” Willow translates.
“Buffy?” Buffy asks as she looks between the two strange girls in confusion.
“She's not Buffy.” Willow states turning to Xander in worry.
“Who's Buffy?” Xander queries.
“Oh, this is fun.” Willow mumbles. She addresses Buffy. “What year is this?”
“Seventeen seventy five…I believe…I don't understand. Who are you?” Buffy answers. Xander offers a hand and helps the confused girl to her feet.
“We're friends.” Willow explains.
“Friends of whom? Your dress is…everything is strange…” Buffy begins to panic glancing around at all the strange objects in the strange looking street. “How did I come to be here?”
“Okay, breathe, okay? You're gonna faint again.” Willow tells Buffy, and then looks at Xander. “How are we supposed to get through this without the Slayer…?” She trails off as she suddenly realises who she was talking too. Xander looks on with a curious expression on her face that made her look surprisingly innocent. “…never mind. I don't think that'll matter much, actually.”
“What's a Slayer?” Xander queries.
Buffy suddenly screams, as another demon appears from nowhere and jumps her, grabbing at her hair, which comes undone from the carefully styled hairdo. Buffy desperately bats at the demon holding onto her hair when Xander comes to her aid. She punches the demon across the jaw, hard enough to make it spin around twice before collapsing in a pile on the sidewalk.
“I think we should get off the street and then figure this all out.” Xander states as Buffy looks at her in awe. Buffy is about to ask how the short girl did that when she sees a monster with two massive glowing eyes heading towards them. She points and screams.
“Demon! A demon!”
Willow and Xander glance over to see a car driving towards them. Buffy cowers behind Xander, who begins to look uncomfortable. She expected Akane to suddenly come out of nowhere and brain her for letting a girl hang over her.
“It's not a demon. It's a car.” Willow quickly explains, trying to calm the scared girl down.
“What does it want?”
“Is this normal?” Xander turns to Willow.
“She's never seen a car.”
“She's never seen a car?”
“She's from the past.”
“Okay. And you're a ghost.”
“Yes. Now let's get inside.”
“Well, cool I guess. So, where to?”
“Where's the closest…” Willow muttered thinking. “Uh, we can go to a friend's house.”
Willow leads the group back to Buffy's house. They sneak around the back. Xander opens the back door and lets the girls enter first. With a quick check over her shoulder she to slips inside. Xander then shuts the door and waits. Buffy wanders slowly around looking at all the strange objects and looking completely bewildered by everything.
“Now what Ghost-girl?” Xander asks leaning against the back door.
“Hello! Mrs. Summers?” Willow calls out. There is no response from the dark house. She turns back to the others. “Good. She's gone.”
“Where are we?” Buffy asks nervously.
“Your place. Now we just need to…”
A violent pounding on the front door interrupts her reply and startles them all. Xander quickly passes Willow out of the kitchen and heads down the hallway to the front door. Willow follows right behind and Buffy trails them unsure, but unwilling to be left alone with the demons outside.
“Don't open it!” Willow hisses as Xander reaches for the handle.
“What are you afraid of? You're a ghost right? S'not like anything can hurt you.”
“…” Willow has no good reply to that.
The pounding stops as abruptly as it began. They wait a moment, and then Xander goes on tiptoes to peer out the small window in the door. She can't see anything odd from her angle.
Buffy, who had hung back glances about the dining room. A picture above the mantle catches her attention and she approaches it slowly. She carefully picks up the framed photograph. Her face furrows into a frown, as she looks on puzzled by the find. Willow notices and walks back over to Buffy.
“This…this could be me…” Buffy states sensing Willow drawing near.
“It is you.” Willow explains to the other girl. “Buffy, can't you remember at all?”
“No, I…I don't understand any of this, and I…” Buffy points at the picture, her mind unable to believe what she is seeing. “This is some other girl, I would never wear this…this low apparel and I don't like this place and I don't like you and I just want to go home!” Buffy begin to blubber.
“You are home!”
The loud pounding on the front door begins again sending Buffy shrieking in fear.
“You couldn't have dressed up like Xena…” Willow grumbles.
Xander, once again on her tiptoes, peers out the window in the door again. A demonic hand smashes through the glass and grabs at the redhead, who quickly steps back out of range. She snaps out a hand to grab the exposed wrist. Xander then gives it a hard tug and something heavy get smashed into the door. Xander lets go of the hand, which quickly retreats.
“Be right back.” Xander informs them and opens the door to slip out before Willow had chance to shout a warning. The two girls hear a roar, then the sounds of a vicious smack down. There is a thud against the wall followed by a demonic pained yelp and then Xander's voice shouted out.
“That'll teach ya to keep your hands to yourself!”
The door opens again and Xander re-enters the house. She shuts the door behind herself with one foot and claps her hands together, getting rid of imaginary dust.
“There. I doubt tall, dark and ugly will bother us again.”
“How can you fight off those demons?” Buffy asks nervously, cowering behind Willow. “Are you a witch?”
“I'm a martial artist.” Xander explains puffing up with pride.
Another loud scream from down the street draws their attention. Xander once again looks out the window and sees people running for their lives.
“Duty calls. Be right back.” Xander states with a sigh and exits the building once more.
Buffy comes abreast of Willow, eyes nervously upon the door. “Surely she'll not desert us?”
“Whatever…” Willow snorts, even her patience having limits.
Outside, Xander stares at the street. It is complete chaos as people run about screaming. There is a car sitting diagonally in the middle of the road, the drivers-side door open and the driver long gone. She sees a dark haired girl running for her life with a familiar hairy monster loping a few yards behind her. There was something vaguely familiar about her and Xander goes to intercept.
Cordelia had the unfortunate luck of tripping on an uneven paving slab, she stumbles, which gives the hairy monster enough time to slam into her sending Cordelia to the ground. She screams and scrabbles backward from the monster. That is when Xander lands on the back of the monster's head, driving its ugly face into the cement.
“You okay?” Xander asks the surprised girl as she crouches down, hands upon her knees and balances on the back of the monster's head.
“Who…”
“Oops. One sec!” Xander replies as the monster flings its head back with a roar and climbs to its feet, furious that it had been hurt. Xander was launched high into the air and at the apex of her flight, goes into a casual acrobat flip and lands lightly in-between the monster and Cordelia. The monster roars and lunges for the short redhead. Xander lifts her foot and for the second time that night plants it in the monster's face.
“You don't learn do ya pal?” Xander states arms crossed and holding the monster back with one foot. She makes it look easy.
The monster stumbles away, rubbing at its sore face. Xander dashes quickly forward to plant an elbow deep into the monster's belly, doubling it over. Then in one swift move, she grabs two handfuls of its chest hair and tosses it over her shoulder in a judo style throw. The monster bounces off the concrete and lays still stunned.
“Buffy?” Cordelia asks climbing to her feet, thinking there's only one girl who could do that.
“Buffy's inside.” Xander replies, guessing this girl knew Buffy somehow; although how she mistook her for the whimpering noblewoman, she didn't know.
“Come on.” Xander takes Cordelia's arm and quickly leads the girl back to the house. They both rush inside and Xander slams the door behind them.
“Cordelia!” Willow exclaims recognising the cat-suited girl.
“What's going on?”
“Okay, your name is Cordelia, you're not a cat, you're in high school, we're your friends…well, sort of…”
“That's nice, Willow, and you went mental when?” Cordelia snarked.
“You know us?” Willow blinked in surprise.
“Yeah, lucky me.” Cordelia glanced back at her rescuer. “Aside from her. Who're you anyway?”
“Ranma.” Xander answered.
“That's nice.” she said in a tone that said 'I don't care'. “So what's going on?”
“A lot's going on.”
“No kidding. I was just attacked by Jo-Jo the dog-faced boy. Look at my costume! Think Party-Town's gonna give me my deposit back? Not on the likely.” She points out the tears and notices a particularly big rip up the side.
“Okay. You three, stay here while I get help. If something tries to get in, just fight it off.” Willow tells the group.
“It's not our place to fight. Surely some men will come and protect us?” Buffy exclaims, her voice sounded scandalised.
“What's that riff?” Cordelia wonders.
“It's like amnesia, okay? They don't know who they are. Just sit tight.” Willow explains and takes off.
“Who died and made her the boss?” Cordelia remarks to the others just as Willow passes through the wall behind her.
“I think she did.” Xander remarks as she moves past Cordelia and heads back towards the kitchen. The other two girls, not wanting to be left alone follow the short redhead into the kitchen. Xander searches around until she finds a kettle. She fills it at the sink and then switches it on and began waiting for it to heat to temperature.
“Surely there's somewhere we can go? Some safe haven?” Buffy speaks up.
“Ghost girl said to stay here.” Xander stated bouncing energetically as she waited impatiently for the kettle to boil.
The back door suddenly opened, startling all three as Angel steps in. He sees Cordelia, Buffy and a redhead he didn't recognise. At first glance, he thought it was Willow, but she smelt like…Xander. 'Weird. I didn't know Xander had a girlfriend?' Angel thought.
“Oh, good. You guys are all right.” Angel states, relief in his voice as he shuts the door. “It's total chaos out there.”
“Who are you?” both Buffy and Xander ask.
x-X-x Giles was busy working on cataloguing the books in the library. He reached for the piles of library cards on the desk and picked them up. He was about to begin checking them over when he hears a faint growl from outside.
'Was that a growl?' he asked himself as he glances up from his work.
“GNYEHAHH!” Giles jumps in fright, the cards going flying and knocking some of the books off the desk as Willow suddenly appears out of the wall right in front of him. Giles tries to recover his composure and dignity as he recognises Willow. He leans against the desk as she raises a hand in greeting.
“Hi.”
x-X-x “Okay, does somebody want to fill me in?” Angel asks looking at the three costumed teens before him. Two of whom looked back at him as if they had never seen him before.
“Do you live here?” Xander asked back, her body language casual but ready to attack or defend.
“No!” Angel snaps at Xander and then in confusion. “Who are you anyway?” He then looks over to Buffy pleadingly. “Buffy…I'm lost here. You…” Angel pauses and stares at Buffy's hair. “What's up with your hair?”
“They don't know who they are, everyone's become a monster, it's a whole big thing. How are you?” Cordelia explains in her own way.
Angel blinks momentarily, taking all that in. Meanwhile Xander clicks off the kettle after feeling the side with one hand. She then picks up the kettle, pours the hot, but not boiling water over her head, instantly gains a good foot and a half in height, and shifts back to Xander form.
“Ahhh…back to normal.” Xander sighs in relief. He senses something wrong and turns to the others. Three identical looks of shock stare back at him.
“Xander?” Angel recovers first. “What the hell?”
“That's it.” Cordelia mutters. “I'm waaay past my weirdness quota for tonight. Don't you feel sorry for me?”
“She…a witch…” Buffy backs away towards the kitchen door.
“It's a water based shape shifting curse. Okay?” Xander sighed.
Angel slowly crosses the kitchen towards Xander. He stops by the sink and stares. “Water based curse? How?”
“Look, cold water. Girl. Hot water. Guy. Can we talk about something else?”
“Cold water?” Angel looked Xander up and down before he turned on the cold-water tap.
“W…what are you doing?” Xander backed up.
“Just testing.” Angel replied and splashed a handful of water in Xander's face. The red headed girl replaced Xander once more. “Wow…”
“What did you do that for?” Xander shouted after wiping her face with her hand that wasn't holding the kettle. She glowered and stood on tiptoes while trying to look intimating towards the tall vampire that towered over her.
“Jerk, now I need to boil more water.” Xander grumbled under her breathe.
“Hey. Calm down okay.” Angel held his hands up, trying to placate the female Xander. “I just wanted to check if it was true. No need to get your panties bunched up…” Angel's face changed into an amused smirk as he looked down at Xander. He could not resist the opportunity for a little payback for the deadboy comments. “…femboy.”
“What. Did. You. Call. Me.” Xander growled as the temperature around her dropped suddenly.
“Calm down.” Angel chuckled and was cut off as the sound of something, or some things, began pounding on the house walls. Seconds later the lights went out, plunging them into darkness. Buffy shrieks again and clutched onto Cordelia.
“Do you mind?” Cordelia snapped irritably at the Slayer.
Before anyone else can say something the back door slams open and a full sized vampire stands glaring in at them, yellow eyes filled with hate. Buffy shrieked again in the background. The vampire steps in and is about to charge forward when a kettle, thrown by Xander, hits it in square between the eyes. The vampire stumbles back from the blow.
Angel reacts only slightly slower than Xander and shoulder barges into the vampire throwing it outside. He quickly slams the door shut.
“Get me a chair!” he demands as he braces the door shut.
Xander quickly grabs one from the dining table and hands it to Angel. Angel braces the door just as the vampire thumps against it. It tries the handle to no success as the chair stops it moving down.
“Will that keep it out?” Xander asks.
“Not for long.” Angel replies. He thinks a moment. “How did he get in? A vampire can't just enter a home unless invited.”
“Probably cause it's not a real vampire. Ghost girl said everybody turned into their costumes.” Xander reasoned.
“Ghost girl?”
“She said her name was Willow.” Xander clarified.
“Willow's a ghost?”
“Yeah, she said she'd get help.”
Angel rubbed his jaw at this information. “How? Never mind. We need to find some place more secure.”
Three quick knocks at the glass in the door made them look out.
“Little pig, little pig, let me in.” Spike leered through the glass.
x-X-x Back at the library, Giles and Willow are surrounded by books, looking for something, anything to solve the puzzle. Willow looks up, frustrated.
“I don't even know what to look for. Plus I can't turn the page.”
“Right. Okay, then, let's review. At sundown, everyone became whatever they were masquerading as…” Giles looks up from the book he had.
“Right. Xander was Ranma and Buffy was an 18th century girl.”
Giles turns and looks at Willow. His face was blank as he tried to figure out how what Willow was dressed as counted as a ghost. “And…your costume?”
“I'm a ghost.”
“Yes, but a ghost of what, exactly?”
“This is nothing. You should have seen what Cordelia was wearing. A unitard. And these little cat things. Ears and stuff.” Willow rattled off to change to subject.
“Good heavens. Cordelia became an actual feline?” Giles asked shock clearly wrote on his features.
“No. She was still just the same old Cordelia, just in a cat costume.” Willow blinked as she realised Cordelia had been unchanged.
“She didn't change?”
“No. Hold on…Party Town. She told us she got her outfit from Party Town-”
“And everybody who changed, where did they acquire their costumes?”
“We all got ours at this new place. Ethan's.”
Giles' face darkened.
x-X-x “Spike.” Angel intoned.
“Angelus.” Spike greeted through the glass. “What brings you out this Halloween?”
“I could ask you the same.”
“Me? Dru told me something interesting and lo-and-behold it was true. So I decided I'd bag myself another Slayer.”
“You know him?” Xander asked wondering what the deal was.
“Unfortunately.” Angel muttered.
“Who's the new bint?” Spike squinted through the glass.
“None of your business Spike.” Angel snarled.
“You're not fooling around behind your Slayer's back now are we Peaches?” Spike smirked. “She's not too bad, a little young and on the short side, but hey, when has that ever stopped me sinking my teeth into them. Remember that orphanage?”
“Come in here and try it.” Xander challenged, giving Spike a glare.
Spike's eyes went wide for a moment before his face split into a very nasty grin. “Don't mind if I do.”
Angel grabbed Xander by the shirt and pulled her close. “You idiot! You've just given him free reign to enter as he wants!” Angel snarled angry enough his eyes went yellow.
“Um, oops?”
Spike tried the door, distracting Angel, who quickly made sure the chair stopped the door opening.
“Come on old man, she said I could come in.” Spike whined with a chuckle as he tried the door again.
“You're not getting in Spike. I'll see to that!” Angel growled.
“Have it your way.” spike sighed dramatically. “You know, I was going to end it quickly. But now you've gone and upset my feelings and all.” Spike acted as if he had been emotionally hurt. “Now, we can do this the hard way, or the easy way.” He reached into his leather duster and pulled out a cigarette. He lit it and took a drag.
“The hard way is you let me in and we do the whole epic battle crap. Or…”
“Or what?” Angel snarled.
“Or I huff and I puff and I burn the house down.” Spike smirked waving his lighter about. “By the way, we've got all the exits covered. Personally, I like the easy way!”
x-X-x Giles drove to Ethan's like a manic driving a slow car. Willow ran along behind him, finding she had no trouble running along at full speed now that she was a ghost. Giles braked hard and stopped outside the costume shop. He killed the engine and got out just as Willow came to a stop beside him.
“Is this the place?”
“Yeah.” Willow nodded following Giles as they walked to the door. Giles tried the handle and the door opened, unlocked. He pushed the door open and stepped carefully inside the darkened interior. Giles looked around slowly.
“Hello? Is anyone in?” he called out, but received no reply. He motioned for Willow to follow and they move through the store, heading towards the back. They step into the back room. Willow notices the altar and the statue.
“Giles.” she indicates the altar.
“That's Janus, a Roman mystical God.” Giles states crossing over to examine the statue more closely.
“What does it mean?”
“Primarily, it represents the division of self. Male and female. Light and dark-”
“Chunky and creamy style. No, sorry. That's peanut butter.” Ethan interrupts stepping out from the shadows. He smiles a smarmy smile towards Giles who looks back in surprise. He quickly places himself between Ethan and Willow, never taking his eyes off the storeowner.
“Willow. Get out of here. Now.” Giles commands in a no nonsense tone of voice.
“But…”
“NOW, Willow!” Giles states firmly. Willow knows this tone from Giles can only mean something bad. She flees as Giles faces off with Ethan.
“Hello, Ethan.”
“Hello, Ripper.”
x-X-x Angel dragged Xander roughly over to the other girls and stood them with their backs to Spike.
“Watch it jerk!” Xander yanked her arm free.
“If we survive this, you and me'll be having words boyo!” Angel stated coldly. Xander folded her arms and looked unimpressed. Something about this guy rubbed her the wrong way.
“So, Angel. You'll save us right?” Cordelia asked hopefully. “You must have a plan.”
Angel looked at her and sighed. “Not a good one. I'll take Spike. You lot run like hell. Head to the school and find Giles.”
“You call that a plan?” Xander snorted.
“We wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't invited him in!”
“Really?” Xander leaned in close and glared. “Why does not getting in prevent him burning the house down? Hmm?”
“That's beside the point!”
“Feh. Whatever.” Xander waved him off. Angel bristled.
“Anyway.” Xander continued. “I'll handle fangboy.”
“Don't be stupid! He'll kill – Urk!” Angel found himself dragged down to Xander's face level as the tiny girl yanked him down by his shirt, and held him there despite his attempt at pulling away.
“I've fought dragon princes and phoenix godlings. One vampire is nothing.” Xander bragged holding Angel down much to the souled vampire's surprise. Angel stared into Xander's now blue eyes. No, he corrected himself; this wasn't Xander now he realised. Just like Buffy wasn't herself.
“Can you really take him?” Angel asked.
“Not a problem.” Xander released Angel who straightened back up slowly. “I'll get rid of him. You protect them.”
“You'll need a stake.” Angel stated and looked around.
“Why? Is he hungry?” Xander asked scratching her head.
“Not a steak! A stake! To stab him in the heart!”
“You want me to kill him?” Xander blinked.
“He wants to kill us all.”
“I don't kill unless I have to.” Xander explained.
“I'm getting bored people!” Spike shouted through the door and gave it a kick. The wood splintered.
“Coming! Coming!” Xander bellowed back as she turned and crossed the kitchen. “Keep your hair on.”
“I hope you know what you're doing.” Angel breathed as Xander stood before the door. Xander stared through the glass at Spike and took a deep breath before drawing upon her chi.
Spike was about to make a snide comment when he paused as the girl behind the glass began to glow. Her body became outlined in a slowly writhing, blue flame like energy. Spike didn't know what was going on but he hadn't lived as long as he had without knowing when to be cautious. He took a step back to re-evaluate the situation.
Then the door exploded off its hinges and headed right at him.
“Oh bollocks…”
x-X-x “What, no hug? Aren't you happy to see your old mate?” Ethan Rayne smirked.
“I'm surprised I didn't guess it was you. This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne.” Giles admitted, not taking his eyes off Ethan.
“It does, doesn't it? Not to blow my own horn, but - it's genius. The very embodiment of 'be careful what you wish for.'” Ethan's face filled with pride as he spoke.
“It's sick. And brutal. It harms the innocent…”
“Oh, and we all know that you are the champion of innocence and all things pure and good, Rupert.” Ethan almost rolls his eyes. “This is quite an act you've got going here, old man.”
“It's no act. It's who I am.”
“It's who you are? The Watcher? Snivelling tweed-clad guardian of the Slayer and her kin? I think not. I know who you are. And I know what you're capable of.” Ethan mocks. He pauses in realization. “But they don't do they? They have no idea where you come from.”
“Break the spell, Ethan. Then leave this place and never come back.” Giles demands angrily, his eyes cold behind his glasses.
“Why should I? What do I get in the bargain?”
“You get to live.”
“Ooooh. You're scaring-” Ethan begins to say before Giles lashes out with a vicious punch, catching the chaos mage unaware on the jaw. Ethan drops like a sack of bricks.
x-X-x Angel was confused more now than when he first heard the chaos outside his home, which was heading towards a record for the nearly three hundred year old vampire. Monsters and mini-demons roamed the streets unchecked. Xander was a girl. Buffy was a whimpering lady cowering behind Cordelia. And now Xander had done something that looked like magic.
It had happened so fast he was still unsure if he had seen it. Xander had stood before the door, cupped her hands to her stomach and began to glow. Then she said “Moko Takabisha” and next thing he knew the door had blown outwards, along with the chair. He had heard Spike swear and then shout out in surprise.
Xander calmly stepped out through the ruined doorframe and watched on as Spike struggled out from under the door. The vampire shoved it off with a grunt and sat up.
“What the bloody hell was that?” Spike muttered shaking his head to clear the ringing.
The fake vampire that had been with Spike lunged at Xander the moment he had recovered from his surprise. Xander ducked and jabbed the vampire in the gut. It doubled up for a moment and backed out of range. Xander didn't follow and the vampire warily looked between her and Spike.
“Get her moron!” Spike shouted getting to his feet. He was pissed at being surprised.
The vampire threw a punch towards Xander's face, which the short girl blocked with her forearm and before the vampire could react, she grabbed it by his shirt and with a casual yank she slammed him into the house wall. The vampire bounced off the wall and wobbled around before falling onto his back.
The noise had attracted the mini-demons, who came running around the corner of the house. Xander reached down, took hold of the fake vampire's shirt again and without looking tossed him into the approaching group. They went down in a tangle of limbs.
“Stay behind me.” Angel told Buffy and Cordelia before he went and stood in the doorway. Partly to prevent anything getting in, and partly because he wanted to see what Xander did as the boy turned girl seemed capable of holding her own.
Xander turned her attention to Spike.
“Look ya crazy bint, all I wanted was to kill one slayer. Is that too much to ask?” Spike glared and approached the strange redhead who suddenly vanished. “What the…”
Spike almost jumped back when the girl suddenly seemed to appear right in his face. He controlled himself enough that he just leant away from her, and eyebrow rose in surprise.
“Don't know what your problem is, but you're not killing nobody.” Xander stated in the vampire's face and jabbed a finger in the vampire's chest with each word.
“Wanna a bet luv.” Spike lashed at her with all his strength. He hit thin air and spun as he overextended from the punch. “Huh?”
“You're pretty quick.” Xander stated from behind the vampire. “If you'd been fighting a ten year old you might have hit them.”
Spike rolled his eyes and made little shifting movements with his head as if mocking her, before spinning in another punch with even more speed. Once again, he hit nothing as Xander leaned back just enough to avoid the blow. She held her arms behind her head.
“You're telegraphing your moves a mile away Stick.” Xander yawned.
“That's it! Die bitch!” Spike snarled his face turning demonic. He kicked at her stomach and found his boot caught by a deceptively strong pair of small hands.
“See ya!” Xander grinned and flipped Spike into the air.
The world began spinning for Spike as he was launched into air, spinning head over heels. “Christ on a bloody crucifix!” he exclaimed as one second he saw stars the next he was looking down at Buffy's house roof, then stars, then the roof getting closer, then stars and finally the ground.
“Ooof!” Spike hit the ground hard and lay on his back staring up at the stars as he waited for his stomach to catch up with his body. He blinked as the redhead suddenly began descending upon him her fist held back ready. “Oh crap!” Spike muttered and closed his eyes expecting pain.
Xander landed lightly on Spike's chest and held her fist millimetres from the vampire's nose.
x-X-x “And you said 'Rupert the Ripper' was long gone…” Ethan chuckled, despite lying on the ground with a bust lip and aching jaw. Giles stood over the chaos mage and calmly cleaned his glasses.
“How do I stop the spell?” Giles asked in a deceptively gentle voice.
“Say pretty ple-”
Giles viciously kicked Ethan as hard as he could in the gut causing Ethan to scream in pain.
“Janus.” Ethan gasps. “Break the statue.”
Giles wasted no time, rushing over to and grabbing the status. He quickly hurls it against the wall shattering it. He turns back to Ethan and finds the mage had disappeared. Giles glared at the spot where Ethan had been.
x-X-x Spike waited for the blow that never came. He cautiously cracked open one eye and then the other. Xander's fist was hovering just above his face. Spike swallows his nervousness and glances over to his minions and sees they have suddenly turned back into kids and a couple of high school students who all looked around confused.
Xander also swallowed in nervousness. He was suddenly very aware that he was standing on top of Spike and had returned to normal. Xander did the only thing he could think of.
“Get gone.” Xander stated and flicked the vampire's nose before quickly backing off. Spike decided to heed the advice. He scrambled to his feet and with a final scared look at Xander ran off into the night.
“Phew…” Xander sighed and backed away. Angel and the girl's exited the house and approach Xander slowly.
“Xander?” Buffy asked. Her voice sounded concerned as she pulled off the wig.
“Buffy, are you back as well?” Xander asks spinning. He blinks in confusion as he's looking up at Buffy…and everyone else is looking down at him in concern. Well, Cordelia is looking somewhere between “eww” and jealousy.
“What's…wrong…” Xander swallows as he begins to suspect why they were looking at him in such a way.
“Xander, look down.” Buffy points at his chest.
“I'm still a girl aren't I.” Xander's voice is flat as she states the obvious looking down and seeing what should not be there. She pokes at her chest cautiously. Xander swallows.
“He's taking this exceptionally well.” Angel states seconds before Xander faints. They watch her fall to the ground. “Or, not.”
x-X-x Giles wearily pushed the library doors open and walked inside. He flexed his tired fingers, attempting to regain some sense of feeling in them after gripping the steering wheel so tightly. He was still angry with Ethan, but it was no longer the fury it had been in the car. It left him feeling drained, and the only thing he wanted to do now was make sure his Slayer and her friends were unharmed by Ethan's bloody stupid stunt. That and get a cup of tea.
Giles slipped off his jacket and loosened his tie as he wandered into his office. He draped the jacket over the back of a chair and clicked the kettle on. He leaned his head back, took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. Gathering his composure, he replaced his glasses and checked the time. It was getting late.
“Giles!” Buffy's voice called out as the library doors banged open startling the watcher. Giles felt his stomach fall as he heard the urgency in Buffy's voice.
“I'm here.” Giles informed the group as he stepped out his office quickly to see what was wrong. He took in the group. Buffy looked deeply concerned, still in her noblewoman dress. Behind her was Willow looking upset and worried. Next to her was Angel, who looked slightly uncomfortable as he carried another red-haired girl in his arms. The girl was unconscious or asleep. He didn't see Xander and his own concern grew.
“Judging by your faces something has gone terribly wrong.” Giles says, preparing for the worst.
“That's an understatement.” Buffy said. “This has been a weird night. On the scale of one to ten this is a hundred.”
“You are all back to normal I take it?”
Buffy exchanges glances with Willow and Angel, and Giles braces himself.
“Not all of us.” Buffy admits.
“Oh dear…Xander?” Giles guesses, as the boy isn't with them.
“GilesyougottafixXander! ThisisallmyfaultImadehimwearit.” Willow babbled out, looking as if she was going to cry any second. Buffy hangs her arm over Willow's shoulder comforting the upset girl.
“Hey, Will, it's not your fault.”
“Buffy is correct Willow. Whatever has occurred it was not your fault.” Giles explained, his voice keeping level. “It's Ethan bloody Rayne's fault.” Giles spat surprising everyone with the nastiness in his voice. “Ahem.” Giles coughed. “What, did happen to Xander?”
Willow and Buffy look over at Angel.
“This...is Xander.” Angel says indicating the girl in his arms.
“Good Lord…”
x-X-x “Stupid freaking, freakishly strong bint!” Spike kicked a chair in anger, shattering it. “What the bloody hell was she?”
He sat down in another chair for all of a couple of seconds before slamming his fist down. He got back up and began pacing.
“Did you have fun with my little pony?” Drusilla giggled.
Spike paused in his pacing and turned to her, his clenched jaw working. “You knew, didn't you.” he accused.
“Haaaa.” she breathed with a knowing smile. “The stars are changing.”
“Dru, luv. Tell me all about it.” Spike slid into a chair by her side and leaned in close, his anger forgotten for the moment.
“Chaos rides a horse. He is a wild card and she'll change everything.”
“Everything?”
“Everything.” Drusilla giggled. “Will you get me a pony?”
“I'll get you anything you want luv. Now, about this pony.”
x-X-x Xander slowly began to wake up. His thoughts still sluggish as he shifted in his bed to get a bit more comfortable. Feels weird, he thought snuggling in closer to try to keep warm. The bed felt cool to the touch, and what was that smell? It smelt nice, but reminded him of Angel. Not so nice.
“Good Lord…” a distant voice said.
Xander shifted again, recognising that voice. It was Giles. Why was Giles in his room? Xander wondered. Xander shifted his hand and felt the bed, his fingers roaming the lumps. It felt almost like a person…
Xander's eyes snapped open and looked up at…Angel, who looked like he didn't know what to do with himself. Xander then realised he was resting his head and had his hand against Angel's chest.
“Gah!” Xander shrieked a definitely girlish shriek interrupting any conversation the gang were having. “Angel! What the…my voice…” she glanced downwards at herself. “Oh God…it wasn't a dream.”
Angel quickly let Xander down who had gone as pale as a vampire and looked ready to faint again.
“Xander! Breath. Okay, calm down. You'll be okay.” Buffy quickly took Xander's other arm and she and Angel held her steady.
“Okay…Okay?!” Xander yelled. “I've got breasts!” She paused and looked further down. Xander quickly patted at her crotch much to everyone else's embarrassment. “I'm…really…a girl…” Xander finally muttered going limp.
“Xan…der…” Willow took a nervous step forward before Xander sent her a nasty glare.
“You!”
“Eep!” Willow flinched and seemed to shrink in on herself. Xander's face softened, as she was unable to stay angry at Willow for long. It was too much like kicking a puppy.
“Sorry…” Xander apologised. “I'm just a little upset here that I'm on the wrong side of the gender fence!” her voice steadily rose towards panic.
“I, I believe we all need to calm down.” Giles spoke up. “Let’s…why don't we all sit down and try to figure this out.”
“Can you fix this?” Xander asked the watcher with a lost look.
“I'll do everything in my power.” Giles promised. “Take a seat. I'll get something to drink. I feel this may be a long night.” The watcher wandered back into his office.
Xander allowed Buffy and Angel to lead her to the table. Angel pulled a chair out for her.
“Don't you start.” Xander growled at him.
“What?” Angel blinked, clearly confused.
“The whole gentleman thing. I'm not a girl!”
“Right…” Angel stared at Xander for a moment and wondered whether he should wind the boy turned girl up. He decided it would be a little immature, despite being amusing, and instead wandered to the furthest chair and sat down.
Xander slowly lowered herself into the chair and shifted it forwards. Buffy and Willow pulled up chairs to either side of him. With a sigh, Xander propped her elbows on the table and leant forward to place her head in her hands. She suddenly flinched back.
“What's wrong?” Buffy asked.
“I just learned what it feels like to rest your breasts on a table…I'm a little freaked here, okay.” Xander explained and leant back in the chair. She folder her arms and flinched again as she made contact with her chest. Xander slapped her hands on the table to keep them out-of-the-way. “…this is too weird.”
In his office, Giles clenched his fists again and promised to rip out Ethan's throat next time he saw the bastard. He relaxed after moment and rubbed at his jaw tiredly before filling his teapot with boiling water from the kettle and gathering enough cups for the lot of them. He grabbed a few biscuits from a nearby tin, put them with the cups and the teapot, and went back to the library.
“Here we are.” Giles said as he placed the tray in the centre of the table. He poured himself a cup and took a seat. No one else moved, except Xander who fidgeted nervously. No one said anything either. After a moment's deliberation, Giles decided to begin the conversation.
“Right, then, first thing. Everyone who bought a costume from Ethan's was changed by the spell into what they wore.” Giles reviewed. Everyone watched the watcher closely. “We know this much. So my first question is…why did you go as a female?” Giles asked Xander as diplomatically as was possible.
“I didn't!” Xander quickly snapped. “I mean, Willow picked the costume.”
All eyes turned to Willow who slowly sank deeper into her chair.
“Willow? Did you know it was a girl's costume?” Giles asked gently.
“I…sort of…I…mean…” Willow stuttered under the gazes.
“You made me dress as a girl.” Xander's jaw clenched.
“No! Ranma is a guy…he just has a…” Willow shifted nervously.
“Has a what exactly?” Giles prompted.
“A curse.” Willow squeaked in a small voice.
“Oh dear. A curse.” Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his head against his palm. “That certainly complicates things.”
“Thanks Wills, you've cursed me.” Xander sighed.
“Welcome to the club.” Angel stated with a touch of sympathy.
“Thanks. Get a free soul or gender swap with each application.” Xander snorted. “Is that why I didn't change back G-man?”
“That would be my first guess, although it may prove incorrect. However, the fact that the character you went as is cursed…to be a girl?” Giles looks at Willow for confirmation.
“C…changes into a girl.” Willow mutters.
“Right. Changes. Without researching this deeper, my first guess is the spell created or replicated this curse.”
“But shouldn't it vanish like everything else did?” Buffy asked.
“Yeah! Why didn't it vanish?” Xander echoed.
“Xander, the difference between a spell and a curse, despite both being magic in nature, is spells can be reversed or counter-spelled. Curses are designed to only end when the specific conditions for it to be broken are met.” Giles lectured.
“So…all we need to know is the conditions to end it, right?” Xander sat up.
“I believe so.”
“Wills, how do I break this?” Xander turned to Willow, whose face fell further. Xander noticed. “Now that, that's not a look I need to see.”
“Well, err, in the manga he never really gets a cure…”
“Wait manga? You mean you made me dress as one of those bug-eyed, no nosed Japanese comic book characters?” Xander blinked before the more important bit of information sank in. “No cure?”
“Um, well, its speculated that if he re-cursed himself by jumping into the spring of drowned man, he'd be effectively cured.”
“So, then we find this spring and I'm cured.” Xander said hopefully.
“It's…it's in China…” Willow mumbled.
“China?” Buffy and Xander echoed each other.
“Oh dear.”
“China…China isn't too bad. I guess. I can save…” Xander deflated. “…maybe.”
“Um…also it's a place in a comic…it might not even exist…” Willow pointed out. Xander stared at her for a moment before she dropped her head to the table with a thud. “…oooh, um, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that.”
“My life is over…” Xander mumbled.
“Perhaps not.” Giles interrupted. “There is a chance, be it a small one, that these, comics,” he stated with a slight distaste. “Were based on a real legend or place.”
“See Xander, Giles knows stuff. He's got books, really, really old books.” Buffy patted the depressed girl on the back. “He'll find if this place is real.”
“I can make a few inquires myself.” Angel spoke up. “And if it does exist, I can probably arrange to get Xander there.”
“There we go!” Buffy cheered, trying to lighten the mood. “We'll find if this place is real and then Xander goes get cured. No problem.”
“If the place exists.” Xander groaned. “Big if. And with my recent luck…don't think so.”
The group fell silent; the only noise was when Giles picked his tea up and took a sip.
“Oh! Oh! Oh!” Willow suddenly sat up excitedly, surprising everyone, aside from Xander who slowly rolled her head to the side to look at the other redhead. “I know! Hot water!”
“Hot water.” Xander muttered, wondering what Willow was talking about.
“The curse is water based!” Willow excitedly pointed out.
“You're right. Xander said the same thing back in Buffy's kitchen.” Angel stated leaning forward and kicked himself for not remembering.
“Water based? Please explain.” Giles adjusted his glasses and waited curiously.
“Yeah. The curse is disabled by hot water!” Willow explained. “He changes back with hot water!”
Xander's eyes widened.
“Hot water reverses it?” Giles asked and Willow nodded. “Does it have to be hot water or will any sufficiently warm liquid do?”
“Any hot liquid works.” Willow bounced in her chair excitedly.
Xander blinked, and then in a surprisingly fast move she sat up, grabbed the teapot and dumped the contents over her head, teabags and all. A soggy Xander, who still sported the pigtailed hairstyle, replaced the short redhead. He put the teapot down and quickly patted his chest before jumping out of the chair with a “woohoo” which sent the used teabags flying and began dancing a jig while repeating “Never gonna be a girl again!”
Willow was out of her chair like a bullet and hugged Xander. “I'm really sorry. Glad you're back to being Xander-shaped.”
“Not as much as me.” Xander admitted. “And Wills,” Willow glanced up at him. “No offence, but from now on. I'm never listening to you on fashion advice.”
“Never?”
“Never ever. Ever.”
“Well, I'm glad that's all over with.” Giles sighed in relief. “It's been a very, eventful, Halloween.”
“Craziest in centuries.” Angel admitted standing up and crossing over to Buffy, who also stood.
“We should all get home then, if the remainder of the night is going to be quiet.” Buffy said leaning into Angel.
“Yeah. I need to get home and read some comics and watch some gory action movies to reaffirm my manhood.” Xander joked as they turned to leave. He tugged at the pigtail his hair was still in and frowned. “I also need a haircut.”
“I don't know, Xander.” Willow smiled as she batted at the pigtail like a cat did to a dangling piece of string. “I quite like it.”
“Hmm, it's definitely coming off then.”
“Aww…”
“Fashion advice, Willow. Fashion advice.”
Giles smiled as the group left through the doors, chatting. He was glad everything had worked out.
“That boy has the worst luck. You would almost believe chaos follows in his wake…” Giles trailed off and wondered why he felt a foreboding chill.
End Chapter
