AN:I Own Nothing...but the bunny that popped into my head and made me giggle like a loony until I wrote it. The characters belong to their respectful owners.
AN2: AU. This story takes place before Tony joins NCIS.
Quick mention of Gibbs. Blink and you miss it.
A year was a long time to be in a relationship. A month was an even longer time to be in a slump.
Buffy had no idea what she was walking into that morning when she decided to pop in to visit her brother at the station. As she walked into the squad room she saw Tony pecking away at the keyboard and thought it would be better to grab a cup of coffee before interrupting his hopefully-not-obvious attempt at online dating. That was a mistake! What the Baltimore PD tries to pass of as coffee is nothing compared to the premium Jamaican blend that her dad makes every morning.
A sudden chill runs through Tony’s bones as he realizes something isn’t quite right in the air. Quickly switching his screen from the dating website to the report he was suppose to be working on he leans back in his chair, massages the cramps out of his hands and looks around for the imminent danger. That’s when he sees it. Buffy, in the break room. As if that wasn‘t bad enough she seemed to be having a conversation with one of his colleagues. He figures the topic of choice is the crappy coffee . . . This was confirmed when the female officer ran from the room gagging on the mud in her cup.
Recalling an earlier conversation with Buffy, he decides it’s time to help her out with her dating situation.
“I don’t know, Buffy . . . The end result could actually turn out to be just what you need!” Tony says mockingly after Buffy turned down his uncouth suggestion on how to find her next boyfriend.
“If you even think about doing anything . . . “ she warned, giving him her patented Slayer Glare while trying to think up a good punishment for what she knew he would eventually do. She left the room with her head shaking at the thought of what he might come up with.
That’s when it clicked. The perfect plan to find his recently neglected sister a man. He flashed his mega-watt smile, which looks strikingly similar to his “Oh boy! This is going to be a good one!” smile. In one smooth and disturbingly sexy movement, Tony was on top of his chair. Sticking his right thumb and forefinger into his mouth he let out a piercing whistle to get everyones attention. It worked a little too well and he had to jump from his chair to tackle one of suspects that took the opportunity to flee. After slapping handcuffs on the perp he strode back over to his chair.
There was a moment of chaos before everyone’s attention turned back to DiNozzo. They all stood there with a mix of emotions showing on there faces. There was fear in a lot of those eyes looking up at him. It was never a good thing when he wanted to make a spectacle.
Tony cleared his throat with a loud “ahem” while Buffy stared in horror as the scene unfolded before her.
“Ladies and Gentlemen” came Tony’s voice, “Well, mostly gentlemen - oh why not include the ladies at this point as well . . . I don’t think she will mind” he said with a smile towards Buffy. He could see in her eyes that she knew what was coming. He could also see the crazed psycho bitch he was about to release, in the depths of those same eyes, but being the older brother he knew what he had to do. Although, keeping an eye on the exits while he did it, wasn’t such a bad idea.
He continued using his best impersonation of Vanna White, while still managing to keep most of his masculinity intact...not. “I am here to present the wonderful, ever forgiving, and understanding Elizabeth Ann Gibbs aka MY SISTER BUFFY!”
Most of the precinct just breathed out a heavy sigh, as was the usual when dealing with Anthony DiNozzo on his better days. However, a few of the rookies, females included, raised there eyes and stood to get a closer look.
“She’s 5’3”, athletic, loves to dance out her feelings on a bad day. She could go to the movies or just stay home. Her favorites are . . . “ He trails off when he saw the “I’m going to rip you limb from limb” look Buffy was now sporting. He knew he should be scared out of his wits at what the slayer might do to him, but he just slapped on his mega-watt-that-worked-just-like-clock-work smile and continues on “. . . to give everyone their due, as so deserved.”
Spitting out that last part as Buffy begins marching his way, Tony leaps from his chair and runs out of there so fast that there was smoke trailing behind him. Although that could have just been from the coffee burning in the pot. Buffy ran after him, but the distracted slayer didn’t notice her big bro duck behind the recycle bin, and kept on running right passed him. When all was clear Tony revealed himself to the others, muttering something about little sister’s realizing the things their brothers do for them. Having hope that soon she would figure it out and calm down, Tony returned to his online dating site.
Hoping his favorite brunette was online he typed in . . .
'Faith, are you there?'
So, okay rewrite with LOTS of help from a silly cousin. How is it now? Still, please be nice.