Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

No Coffee... Beer!

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking

This story is No. 10 in the series "The Coffee Series". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: While in New York, the Scoobies decide to visit a real New York bar.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > How I Met Your MotherbastardsnowFR1518221145,36418 Jul 0918 Jul 09Yes
Title: No Coffee... Beer!
Rating: PG-13
Author: BastardSnow

Summary: While in New York, the Scoobies decide to visit a real New York bar. Takes place a few hours after Central Park Coffee.

Author's note: This is the shortest story in the Coffee series. Lots of thanks go out to Drake, who made one suggestion that caused me to change like 9 words, and make the story (I think) a lot better. So thanks to him.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Joss/Fox own Buffy and Bays/Thomas/CBS/whoever own How I Met Your Mother.

Xander, Faith, Buffy and Dawn waited by the door of the hotel room for Willow to finish getting ready.

“Aren't I usually the slow one?” Buffy asked.

“Yes,” chorused the other three.

“Just another minute!” Willow called from the bathroom.

“We're on the road all the time,” Xander said. “Does she think she's going to find a meaningful relationship in one night?”

“Who said it has to be meaningful?” Faith asked. “She's been on her own since she and Big K split.”

“You call Kennedy 'the Big K?” Dawn asked.

“Yeah,” said Faith. “Cuz she's got lots of money but she's still cheap.”

Xander and Buffy both winced.

“Okay,” Willow said. She came out of the bathroom with her hair done, a light touch of makeup and a push-up bra. “How do I look?”

“You look great,” said Buffy.

“Really good,” said Xander.

Willow blinked at them, and then turned to Faith and raised an eyebrow.

She shrugged. “I'd do ya.”

“Good enough,” said Willow. “Now let's go!”

The five of them headed down the elevator and out into the street. The bar Willow had found -- they had all decided they should go to a real New York bar -- was only a few blocks away, so they walked over in a crowd. Buffy, Willow and Dawn were taking the lead, and Xander and Faith hung back behind them so as not to be too obvious with their not-as-subtle-as-they-hoped groping of one another.

“Your uncle didn't want to join us?” Buffy called back to Xander, not daring to look backwards.

“Uh, no,” Xander said. “He had something to do at his gallery.”

Buffy frowned, but shrugged it off. Maybe there would be a cute guy at this bar, too, and she could get free drinks. That was always nice.

A few blocks more and they arrived at their destination.

“McLaren's pub,” Willow announced. She was practically bouncing. “The reviews said this place is great, it's really authentic.”

She led them down the stairs and into the bar, then suddenly stopped dead. Buffy managed to stop in time, but Dawn slammed into her, pushing her forward another couple of steps.

“What's the hold up?” Xander asked from just outside the door.

“Oh,” said Buffy. “Uh...”

“Okay,” Willow said, her voice hard and angry. “You know what? I'm not doing this. I'm tired of being the one with the crazy clone people. Okay? I'm done. This is not happening.”

She turned on her heel and stormed out of the bar. Xander and Faith poked their heads into the bar. Their eyes were immediately drawn to a table seating five people. Three guys, one tall, one normal height and one who was wearing a suit that could only be described as awesome. With them were two girls. A gorgeous brunette, who Xander thought he recognized from the side of a bus somewhere, and... ah.

“Wow. That's, like, three independent Willow clones. This is kind of crazy,” he said.

“Guys!” Willow yelled from street level.

“Yeah,” said Buffy. “Well... I guess that's our night out.”

“Damn,” said Dawn. “And I was hoping to get hit on.”

“I think this is your chance,” said Xander.

The guy in the awesome suit approached them and put his arms around the shoulders of both Buffy and Dawn. “Ladies,” he said. “I have to say, I have been coming to this bar for a very long time and before you arrived it had never been quite so... classy.”

He smiled at them. They both giggled a little bit, and then glared at each other.

“Now now,” he said. “There's enough Barney to go around.”

“Can't,” said Buffy. “Sisters.”

The guy looked at her, and then at Dawn, and then back at Buffy. He looked like he was about to cry. “Perfect,” he said, and then led both of them to the bar. They both looked vaguely terrified.

Xander laughed, slung his arm over Faith's shoulders, and they walked back up to the street to join Willow.

“Where are Buffy and Dawn?” she asked.

“Being accosted by a friend of the other you,” Xander said.

Willow huffed. “Traitors. Come on.”

“Where?” Faith asked.

“Back to the hotel,” Willow said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Faith looked around at the city surrounding them, taking in the sky scrapers and culture.

Xander looked down at her. “I think we're gonna walk around a bit,” he said. Faith smiled at him.

Willow pouted. “Well... can you at least walk back with me first?”

Xander opened his mouth to protest, but Faith cut him off. “Sure, Red,” she said. “No problem.”

Faith took Willow's arm in hers, and they headed back to the hotel.

The next morning, Buffy and Dawn joined the rest of them back at the hotel. Neither of them said a word about what had happened.


The End

The End

You have reached the end of "No Coffee... Beer!". This story is complete.

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking