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Story

Summary: A one shot BtVS/JLU crossover that I decided not to continue, but a decent one shot. Continued by popular demand.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
DC Universe > Justice League(Current Donor)dogbertcarrollFR15514,3474516058,74021 Jul 0930 Sep 13No

Curb Stomp

Spike was used to Dru's mad ramblings after their centuries of close association and could easily decipher the hidden meanings to her words.

“We're fucked,” Dru said bluntly.

“Pardon?” Spike asked, turning to face her, his features a mask of confusion.

“We are boned!” she exclaimed.

“Still not getting you luv,” Spike replied.

Dru sighed. “Kitten's got a lot on his mind, its heavy as sin and he's dating the Sun's twin daughter.”

“He's gained control over gravity and is dating Power Girl?!” Spike exclaimed in a mad panic.

The air rippled like water, a pair of glowing figures just barely noticeable.

“Would running help?” one of the minions asked.

“You'll just die tired,” Dru said as the two familiar looking figures materialized.

“Her breasts are huge!” a minion exclaimed, saying what they were all thinking.

“Vamps!” Xander growled.

Power Girl swept her heat vision through the scattered undead, causing brief explosions of flame and ash.

Dru wrapped her arms around Spike. “Kitten! Think of the diamonds!” she called out.

Xander raised a hand towards the two and made a fist crushing the two remaining members of the Scourge of Europe and some of the furnishings around them into an extremely small space.

“Huh,” Power Girl said, catching Xander's actions as she finished vaporizing the minions.

“What?” Xander asked.

Power Girl walked over to where Xander had removed the two master vampires and picked up something small from the floor and blew on it.

Moving close he saw she was holding a small smokey diamond that looked as if it had already been cut to fit a ring or necklace.

“I can just make out Dru and Spike...” Xander mused as he squinted at the diamond. “Are they dancing in there?”

“The horizontal mambo,” Power Girl said and pocketed the gem. “I didn't know you could make gems.”

“Neither did I,” Xander replied. “Seems like Dru did though; of course being able to see the future probably helps. We should have Giles look at it.”

“I can't wait to meet all your friends,” she chimed excitedly.

“I'd advise changing …” Xander's voice trailed off and he frowned.

“Honey is something wrong?”

He smiled at her, “I'm fine, just felt a minor gravitational flux some distance from here. As I was saying I'd suggest changing into your civvies.”

Power Girl blurred for a second and was suddenly wearing a cheap wig and thick glasses along with blue jeans and a baseball shirt for the Gotham Maniacs.

“The glasses and wig actually make you stand out more,” Xander said. “Different reality, different rules.”

The Bronze

“All the dumps in the world and she has to come back to this one,” Xander said with a grin.

“Xander?!” Buffy exclaimed, giving him a hug.

“Hey Buffster, why the long face?” he asked as they sat down.

Seeing Xander had a girl with him Buffy just shrugged. “You know how it is; new school, feeling out of place and like I can't hack it.”

“Two vamps ducking out the back with their dinner dates,” Power Girl said. “I'll be right back.”

Buffy stared wide eyed as she left. “She knows and you're letting her hunt alone?!”

“It’s just two,” Xander waved it off. “And of course she knows, she can sense them. So now that that’s out of the way, what's wrong?”

“I …” Buffy sighed and decided to trust Xander's judgment. “I got my ass handed to me by a vampire named Sunday. Ever since I got to college I just feel so out of place, like I don't belong.”

“I'm sure everyone feels like that at first.”

“Not Willow and Oz, they fit in like its Sunnydale High.”

“Willow and schoolwork is like peanut butter and jelly,” Xander said. “They always go together, and Oz is … could you actually tell if he was feeling out of place?”

Buffy giggled. “I guess not and he does have the advantage of having played college parties before.”

“Exactly, trust me Buffy you'll do fine.”

“How do you know?” Buffy asked, seeking a bit more assurance.

“When things are at their darkest and I don't know what to do I ask myself 'what would Buffy do?' you're my hero.”

“Really?” Buffy asked.

“Yes and sometimes when it’s dark I ask myself 'what is Buffy wearing?'”

Buffy giggled and then winced as she noticed Xander's girlfriend standing there.

Power Girl rolled her eyes. “Part of what attracted me to him is his large…” she paused for a second and smirked wickedly, “libido.”

Buffy mock groaned. “That was as bad as one of his jokes.”

“Introduce us,” Power Girl ordered.

“Buffy this is my girlfriend Karen,” Xander introduced her, “and Karen this is my second best friend Buffy.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Buffy said, shaking her hand. “How did you learn about the things that go bump in the night and end up hooking up with Xander? Dish!”

Karen laughed. “My family is … gifted. All of us use our gifts to help out, so we all know what's what. I met Xander when I had all but given up hope of finding a guy who didn't run when he discovered how powerful I was.”

“Couldn't hide it?” Buffy asked.

“Not forever; one lapse in concentration and accidentally picking up furniture to clean under it and the secret's out.”

“I know just how you feel!” Buffy swore. “And the fact that you can open jars without their help makes them accuse you of trying to emasculate them.”

“Exactly!” Karen agreed. “Xander simply buried his face in my chest and didn't care how strong I was. Of course he was a bit out of it at the time and thought he was dreaming.”

Buffy burst out laughing.

“I thought I'd either died and gone to heaven or was dreaming, and in either case there was no reason not to bury my face in the bountiful breasts of the angel that was presented to me!”

Karen laughed. “Lecherous and sweet, it’s the perfect combo.”

Buffy snickered, her bad move forgotten.

“Let’s all saddle up and take care of Buff's vamp problem,” Xander suggested. “And then go out for pancakes.”

“Pancakes?” Buffy asked.

“I'm in the mood for pancakes,” Xander replied.

“We have a good pancake place in Sunnydale?” Karen asked hopefully.

“We have Das Waffle Haus, it rocks,” Xander said.

“Cool, so where are the vamps?”

Buffy opened her mouth and then paused, “I don't know, just met Sunday and her gang and haven't found their lair yet,” she ruefully admitted.

“We could do research and figure things out step by step,” Karen said, wrinkling her nose in distaste. “Or we could just use my gifts to track them to their lair and rush in and make a mess of things.”

“Mess!” Buffy and Xander cheered before the three broke up laughing.

“Let’s go to my dorm room and raid my weapons chest,” Buffy said.

“Weapons?” Karen asked.

“Swords, crossbows, stakes …” Buffy listed off. “You don't use weapons?”

“Generally I'm trying not to splatter what I hit, the few times I've run into something I really want to put the hurt on I've just ripped a bumper off a car.”

“Wow, I'm the slayer and I'm not that strong … If I'm not being rude, what are you?”

“Argosian,” Karen replied, having no reason to hide it on this earth.

Buffy's mind jumped to Jason and the Argonauts, a lesson in Greek lore she recalled. “So, Hercules level strength?”

“Body of a goddess,” Xander confirmed with a grin, making Karen blush.

“You are so getting lucky tonight,” she told Xander before kissing him.

Buffy grinned. “Worship later, smoosh vampires now.”

“Smoosh,” Xander said with a grin.

“Weapons first,” Buffy insisted.

0oOo0

“I can't believe it!” Buffy angrily exclaimed. “That bitch robbed me!”

“What species is your room mate?” Karen asked.

“What?!”

“She's got two hearts; venom sacks in her sinus glands and no spleen!” Karen exclaimed. “The outside looks human but the insides aren't.”

Everyone turned to Cathy who froze. “I'm hiding out from my parents to avoid an arranged marriage, okay?”

“I knew you were more annoying than was humanly possible!” Buffy exclaimed.

“Like you're easy to get along with?” Cathy snorted in disbelief.

“I'm the Slayer,” Buffy said. “Trying to hide that causes all sorts of problems that aren't my fault!”

“You're the slayer?!” Cathy yelped. “I am so requesting a different roommate!”

“Can you do that?” Buffy asked hopefully.

“Easy as pie,” the demoness promised. “A simple glamour so they don't look too closely and we'll just claim religious differences.”

“Cool!” Buffy said before frowning. “Wait, you don't eat people or anything, do you?”

“Shards no! A poodle every once in a while but not people.”

“Oh, okay. Let me know if you need help moving or anything.”

“I was here first,” Cathy pointed out. “Plus all your stuff is already out of the room. Besides being the slayer shouldn't you have your own place, for safety's sake?”

“Can't afford it,” Buffy said with a sigh.

“We'll cover it,” Xander offered.

“I don't want to be a freeloader,” Buffy denied.

“You keep the world spinning,” Karen said. “That's hardly freeloading. If I need money I can pull gold and gems out of the earth by the tons in the space of an hour.”

“It’s true,” Xander confirmed, “and I made ungodly amounts myself working on satellite casings during my visit to Karen's place; I'm basically retired already.”

“You worked on satellites?” Buffy asked in shock.

“Manual labor that I've been paid ridiculously well for, to make things look better to the tax man,” Xander confirmed. “I am a man of leisure now.”

“So is Giles,” Buffy said shaking her head. “Okay, I'll freeload off you two, but if I start being a pest let me know.”

“If you start being a pest we'll add another wing to the house and hire people for you to pester,” Karen said waving it off and playing the part of the ultra-rich that Xander just handed them. Besides, with their powers it'd be easy to do. They could make Bruce look like a pauper if they wished – and there was no Clark around to guilt them out of it!

0oOo0

The three stared at the condemned frat house, Karen looking through the walls.

“One in the basement wearing a full wetsuit including flippers and five are upstairs going through your stuff,” Karen announced.

“Really?!” Buffy said.

“Uh huh,” Karen agreed, wondering how Buffy would react.

“Cool!” Buffy said smiling. “You're handy to have around I can tell.”

Xander gave her hand a squeeze; he'd told her that his friends would have no problem with her being different, but she'd gotten so used to hiding it when she wasn't in uniform that she felt uncomfortable.

Taking care of the vamps was anticlimactic. Xander and Karen were only slightly hampered by using only a portion of their strength and with the minions occupied and a little encouragement Buffy handled Sunday the vamps leader like she was a new fledge.

“Groovy!” Buffy declared, stealing Xander's line when she dusted Sunday. “Now, where do we live?”

“Haven't got a place yet,” Xander admitted. “We just got here and ran into you.”

“We'll crash here tonight,” Karen suggested. “Then tomorrow we'll buy it.”

“Hey!” Xander said, his eyes lighting up. “This means I have successfully avoided helping Buffy move!”

“Goof,” the blonde slayer declared with a laugh and a gentle swat to the arm.

“Should I have the minis bring our stuff?” Karen asked.

“Minis?” Buffy asked.

“Six inch tall robot duplicates,” Xander explained. “Yeah, they can bring our stuff in through the skylight.”

“Nothing like Ted, right?” Buffy asked warily.

“Homicidal sixties husband android – life size,” Xander explained to Karen. “No, the minis are completely different.”

Karen pushed a button on her wristwatch and spoke into it, “Follow our signal and bring our stuff in through the skylight.”

“How strange was your life before you met me?” Buffy asked Xander.

“I was born and raised on the Hellmouth,” Xander replied. “I don't do normal.”

The skylight opened and a matte black trunk, with a tiny Xander dressed as Magneto standing on it, floated in followed by several others, each with a tiny figure on top.

“That's me and Willow,” Buffy declared excitedly as she saw her mini waving at her. “And a tiny Karen wearing a Power Girl outfit!”

“They must have been following us,” Karen said. “Otherwise it would have taken them longer to get here.”

“Mouse patrol, people!” Xander ordered.

Tiny Power Girl and Xander flew off, while Tiny Buffy flipped off the trunk with ease while running to catch Willow, who jumped with her eyes closed expecting Tiny Buffy to catch her.

Hand in hand the two scampered off.

“They're just so adorable!” Buffy squealed. “What's mouse patrol and why does your mini fly while mine walks?”

“Mouse patrol is the order to chase out any undesirable vermin and your mini will learn to fly as soon as you do,” Xander explained.

“So unfair!” Buffy said. “Still cool as all hell, so – magic or science?”

“Science so far up there it might as well be magic,” Xander replied.

“Top Secret Satellite project huh?” Buffy asked.

“I'm rolling in it,” Xander replied with a grin.

“You know you don't have to,” Buffy said.

“I know,” Xander assured her. “Now let’s pick rooms, because I call dibs on this one!”

“Why this one?” Buffy asked.

“'Cause I am the opposite of a vampire and feed on sunlight,” Karen replied.

“And the sight of you feeding gives me blood flow problems,” Xander continued with a grin, images of Power Girl nude sunbathing dancing in his eyes.

“I think I'll leave you to that,” Buffy declared before retreating.

AN: Typing by Godogma!
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