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It Ain't The Size Of The Dog In The Fight

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Summary: YAHF: Sunnydale learns what happens when Unit XNR, a Bolo of the Dinochrome Brigade, is unleashed one Halloween

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Literature > Sci-Fi > Bolo!SamarkandFR13107,9964416144,75824 Jul 094 Aug 09Yes

Chapter One

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the intellectual property of Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon. BOLO! is the creation of Keith Laumer. All concepts borrowed under the Rule of Funny.

****

Awareness.

Psychotronic computer cores on-line, weapons systems on stand by, fusion reactors on readiness. Battlescreens up. My human commander appears to be absent. No matter. As a fully autonomous BOLO, I have the capacity of independent combat operations.

I scan my surroundings. Within 2.3 microseconds I have identified my location: Mercer Street, Sunnydale, California. The date is October 31, 1997. Night time. I, Unit XNR "Xander", a Mark XXVIII Bolo of the Dinochrome Brigade, am operational and ready to defend my assigned area of operations from the xeno threat known as "demons".

A swift scan of local police and civilian communications frequencies indicates widespread panic. The universe slows as I enter into full battle awareness mode. Multiple demon signatures. I immediately power my 110 centimeter Hellbore and ion bolt infinite repeaters to full capacity. A combat mech who resembles a character from the ancient Terran cinematic entertainment "Frankenstein" lurches by. I lock on and--

Hmmmm.

My programming restrains me. Somehow, this...creature reads as human to my specialized sensors. Curious. Very curious. I must be cautious. Yet, I am BOLO. I cannot allow the humans under my charge to suffer. Treads churning, 15 000 tons of endurachrome surge out to--

Er.

Everything seems to be...larger than expected. The ground vehicles and houses appear to me as those of giants.

One microsecond of calculation. I appear to be 30.345 centimeters in height.

Shouldn't I be...taller?

Well, fuck.
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