Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the intellectual property of Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon. BOLO! is the creation of Keith Laumer. All concepts borrowed under the Rule of Funny.
Psychotronic computer cores on-line, weapons systems on stand by, fusion reactors on readiness. Battlescreens up. My human commander appears to be absent. No matter. As a fully autonomous BOLO, I have the capacity of independent combat operations.
I scan my surroundings. Within 2.3 microseconds I have identified my location: Mercer Street, Sunnydale, California. The date is October 31, 1997. Night time. I, Unit XNR "Xander", a Mark XXVIII Bolo of the Dinochrome Brigade, am operational and ready to defend my assigned area of operations from the xeno threat known as "demons".
A swift scan of local police and civilian communications frequencies indicates widespread panic. The universe slows as I enter into full battle awareness mode. Multiple demon signatures. I immediately power my 110 centimeter Hellbore and ion bolt infinite repeaters to full capacity. A combat mech who resembles a character from the ancient Terran cinematic entertainment "Frankenstein" lurches by. I lock on and--
My programming restrains me. Somehow, this...creature reads as human to my specialized sensors. Curious. Very curious. I must be cautious. Yet, I am BOLO. I cannot allow the humans under my charge to suffer. Treads churning, 15 000 tons of endurachrome surge out to--
Everything seems to be...larger than expected. The ground vehicles and houses appear to me as those of giants.
One microsecond of calculation. I appear to be 30.345 centimeters in height.
Shouldn't I be...taller?