Disclaimer: Neither Buffy the Vampire Slayer nor The District or any of their characters belong to me. The story, however, does.
Warnings: none. Lesbian lovemaking mentioned, not described. Set after Chosen.
Takes Place in the Going Sane -- A Seer's Tale
universe. This story is not a continuation of Turned from Darkness, it parallels HDGHSB and TFD
Note: This story will make more sense if you have been following TFD, but it's not absolutely necessary.
Wonderful photo illustration by Christytrekkie
(see more in her story Fanart)
I love the way her hair smells. I love the way we wake up in the mornings all tangled up together like kittens. We fit. Coming back felt strange. The long strange trip from Africa back to ‘civilization’ where everything was loud and bright. I don’t remember being dead, but I sense it was peaceful. I just remember being in that room, hearing Dru call out my name… "Tara," then I was back. I was glad to be back. I felt hope. I felt afraid for Dru at first, but then I started to think about my red haired angel. I started to dream about her every night. I could smell her skin, feel the softness. Need. Desire. Love. Joy. I was going home!
The first night we met again, I was so afraid. She had met someone new. She had saved the world at least once since I died… It was going to be hard. Then I looked into those eyes, and we melted. Melted, and melded back together. We were new and old and familiar and strange. I began to really feel alive. They left us alone. That was wonderful. My Willow. I was alone with my Willow. I didn’t even notice, not really, when they actually left. Then there was a noise, or something, and we looked around… and we were alone. I felt so much bolder. Being dead was good for my self-confidence. I stood up, and I took her hand.
“Why don’t we continue this somewhere more private,” I said.
“I could show you my room,” Willow said, just a little coyly.
“I’d like that,” I said. I know I was grinning at her, because she was grinning back. I felt like I was soaring.
She said a few words, and candles lit all over the room. I frowned a little.
“It’s OK… I’m not abusing the magics, I promise. This is different… Tomorrow we can talk about all I’ve learned since you… left,” her voice broke.
“Died. It’s OK to say ‘died’, sweetheart,” I said. I touched her soft face. It was wet with tears. “It’s reality.”
“Oh Tara... It’s been so hard,” said Willow.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” I said. It was strange. The last thing I remembered was the morning that I died. I don’t remember being shot. I don’t remember any of the aftermath – wherever I was, even if I was aware of it when I was dead – I don’t have those memories now.
“I was lost without you, Tara” she said.
“I’m here,” I said. “Apparently, the powers that be want us to have a second chance.”
“Does that scare you as much as it scares me?”
“I’m scared because of what Dru said is coming… I think that’s the real reason I had to come back, but I don’t have any words to tell you how glad I am to be back here with you.”
Willow took both my hands and pulled me toward the bed. I had no objections. When they say ‘made love all night’, I always thought it was an exaggeration. Willow and I were never the type of lesbians for whom sex ceased to have meaning after a few months, but this was definitely a first. We were so hungry for each other. It was the sounds of Xander and Buffy getting going for the day that made us realize it was morning. All our candles had burned out. We were looking at each other in day light.
She’s so beautiful in the mornings. Did I say that? That morning, she looked… Her lips were extra rosy from me kissing her so much. I’m sure we were a mess… but to me she was the most beautiful creature in the world. I think she could tell. Maybe there was something about being dead… It definitely seemed to make Buffy hornier than usual. Maybe that was it. Being alive… Feeling alive. That is such a feeling. And since I didn’t have any ‘issues’ with it, since I don’t remember ‘heaven’ or whatever it was… I was with Willow, then I wasn’t, then I was alive again, and a vampire had rescued me! A formerly mad vampire, now with a soul. Was my life strange? Definitely. It was morning. I was with my love. I was in England of all places.
I had never even had a passport. I don’t know what Dru did. Somehow, when I arrived in England, I had a valid American passport.. At least it looked valid to me. I had never had a passport before… Father never let us travel anywhere. None of the women in our family had ever left the United States. Most of them never even left the state. Dru was very clever. I don’t know what she did, but with all the terrible things she told me had been happening in the world… Well the world was changing. I have to presume that the passport is real. Of course, these days, we don’t use them that much. I wonder if we’ll ever have to try and explain how we’re somewhere, when there’s no record of us arriving in the country. Well, hopefully that will never happen.
I’ve been back to America so often lately I’m beginning to feel more comfortable with portkeys than I ever felt with planes… or ships. I’ve only flown once… Only been on a ship once. I like ships better. I would have had a much better time, of course, if Dru and Patrick had been happier then. They got married! I can hardly believe it sometimes. I knew right away they belonged together. I could see the connection. Now of course, they can read each other’s thoughts and feelings… Well, Willow and I can talk to each other mentally – that’s something. Apparently, they feel all each other’s feelings, see each other's histories -- everything. That must be strange. I think it’s working for them, though… They look… serene. Their auras… they’re so beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like that. They’re full of light. When they were married… it was as if they surrendered to each other… they became so inter-connected. It was as if I was watching… no, I know I was watching something deeply spiritual. Now, however, that seems like nothing. Now… they’re almost extensions of each other… It’s beautiful to watch them together… and to see the threads that reach out for each other.
Even when they aren’t together, you can tell where the other one is… the threads stretch that far! I didn’t think that was possible. Sometimes I’ve seen connections with other couples, but nothing so… solid. I can’t ignore their connection. Most of the time, I can ignore auras. Otherwise, it could get distracting. People don’t know it, but their auras are constantly changing. Whatever they’re feeling, if they’re sick… It’s all there, if you know what to see. Most of the time, I don’t like to pry. I try to ignore the aura unless there’s a real reason to look. With Dru and Patrick though, it was impossible. They glowed. From the very beginning, I saw something… It felt holy. I could tell Dru was intended for big things. Then I met Patrick, and there was no way those two didn’t belong together. It was strange when I found out he was a priest. A Catholic priest and a vampire. That was just… Well it was strange. Yes, I know, in my life strange is a relative thing. I came back from the dead. I helped bring Buffy back from the dead. I was brain sucked by a fashion victim of a god who wanted to use Buffy’s sister as the key to her home dimension… Who am I to talk about strange?
I was just amazed that they actually got together. Patrick is probably the kindest person I’ve ever met. He’s a real sweetheart. He’s so gentle, but also very strong. It’s taken a while to see just how strong. I know how hard it was to come out, to go against my family. He went against his whole church. I don’t know what his family knows, but his brother was at the wedding, so I guess it’s not a secret. As for how strong Patrick is… Well I didn’t know how much he had done for Dru until I talked to Buffy and Spike about it. That was a long time later. I had known Dru was insane, but I didn’t really ‘know’ crazy Dru. Dru. I’ve never met someone quite like Dru. She has lived one of the most contrasting lives. How do you go from convent to vampire and then find the love of your life who is a priest? I just think my life is strange. Theirs is definitely stranger.
I think we’re all very fortunate. I don’t believe in luck. I don’t know what I believe any more. I believe it’s good to be alive, I guess. I want to savor every moment, to do good things, help save the world… and yeah, to make sweet love to Willow as often as possible. I used to want to be a teacher. Now, I guess I am. I’m helping younger witches, slayers and watchers, and learning more about magics than I ever thought existed. Life is so very good.
A/N I wanted to write a Tara/Willow chapter or story right after Tara came back, but it wouldn't come to me and I couldn't figure out how to make it fit in HDGHSB. I'm not sure why it came to me now... but here it is, finally. Hope you'll like it.