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Summary: Tropic Thunder X-over. Xander sends out a call for help and gets an interesting applicant.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Tropic ThunderMegKFFR131779081,3602 Aug 092 Aug 09Yes
Buffy is owned by Mutant Enemy and Tropic Thunder is owned by Dreamworks? No copyright infringement is intended. Fanfiction is, in my opinion, free advertisement. There are many things I've bought because I enjoyed fanfiction that crossed into a new fandom. I encourage everyone to purchase these products.


Xander gazed at the mercenaries before him. Being in charge of the entire African continent was harder than the girls thought, and even with the backup he’s received from the council, it wouldn’t be enough to deal with his current crisis. He’s sent out the word to the African underground that he was interested in hiring hunters. Willow had even enchanted his request to only draw people who’d avoid hurting humans, have no trouble following his lead, be willing to work with the slayers, and the like. Xander paced in from of the men, and two women, before Xander came to a sudden halt in front of one of the men.

“What are you doing here?” Xander snapped out surprised.

“I’m here to do the job,” replied the man in a military manner.

“No. What are YOU doing here?”

“Sir? I don’t understand.”

Xander turned away to speak to his person assistant, a slayer who had been too young when located several years before to be allowed on the front line and had attached herself to Xander then. Xander let out an annoyed sigh, “Mary, please remember to have Willow add a ‘no actors’ clause next time we need to hire help.”

“Sure thing Xander,” Mary paused before she was unable to fight her curiosity and came forward to join Xander. “Oh. My. God! Kirk Lazarus! This is so cool! I’m a huge fan! I’ve seen ‘Satan’s Alley’ a dozen times, it’s like my all time favorite movie. It’s so cool that you and Tobey Maguire won the MTV movie award for best kiss for that! And-“

“Mary!” Xander interrupted. “You’ve been spending way too much time with Willow and Dawn. We’re in the middle of an apocalypse. We don’t have time to deal with an actor. Get rid of him. Everyone else follow me to be filled in.” Xander led the way into their current base of operation, a large building built out of what appeared to be several large shipping crates.

Mary waited until the door closed before turning back to Kirk, “Don’t let him fool you, he loved ‘Tropic Blunder’. So what are you doing here?”

“I’m researching a role for my next movie. This seemed like a good job to accept,” he explained as he came out of his character. “I’m not really interested in hurting people so this request seemed like the best one to respond to.”

“Yeah… That wouldn’t work here. We’re currently seeking help to save the world… Can I have your autograph before you leave?”

“Of course. But… If you really need help saving the world, I’d like to help.”

Mary stared into Kirk’s eyes for several moments before nodding. “You can listen to Xander’s briefing. If you still want to help when it’s over, it’ll be his call. Agreed?”

“Aye,” Kirk confirmed before following Mary inside to the others.


“Everyone please welcome Kirk Lazarus, the 6 time Academy Award winner!” There was a pause as applause almost brought the roof down, metaphorically speaking. “Hello Kirk, it’s good to see you again.”

“It’s good to see you too. It’s always an honor to be on your show, Tyra.”

“Thank you! The current hot buzz in Hollywood is not about your upcoming movie ‘Mercenary’s Redemption’, which has received incredible reviews from the critics and mentions of a possible 7th Academy Award, but rather about your next project. Rumor has it that the inspiration behind this movie came while you were researching your role in ‘Mercenary’s Redemption’. Is that true?”

“Yes. I heard many stories while I was in Africa that made me think up the plot for ‘Demon Hunter’.

“Now something interesting to note is that this is the first script that you helped write, correct?”

“Yes. I got to work with an incredible team to come up with this script.”

“This movie is about a man, Alexander, who is recruited by a group of beautiful women who can kick butt, to help save the world from demons out to destroy humanity…”

End Story


This is my second un-official attempt for The August fic a day challenge!

The idea for this story hit me just last night when I was re-watching Tropic Thunder which is fast becoming one of my favorite movies. I couldn’t help throwing in the bit with the Tyra Banks Show at the end.

The End

You have reached the end of "Mercenaries". This story is complete.

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