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Summary: Permanently "ON HOLD" - Who knew that an old beat up fedora (hat) and a mock bullwhip was going to change him that much? Xandiana was such a funny idea when it first came to him in the store, but now…

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-CenteredLilNezumiFR18413,658118531,9835 Aug 0914 Oct 09No

Chapter One

Title:  Online Translation

Disclaimer:  Worlds mentioned in “T.V. & Movie & Other… inspirations” belong to their creators and all others that helped them put it all together. All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

All the characters, worlds, base concepts or general ideas are just a bit food for the writing bug.  This story is pure fiction and is in no way meant to copy or reflect real life, events or people, should this happen then obviously it is pure coincidence.

T.V. & Movie & Other… inspirations:  “Angel”, the Xander bits of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, plus Angel comics (“Omnibus” & “After the Fall”), perhaps Buffy movie vamps and don’t forget about Merrick, “Stargate” movie, Stargate “SG-1” and maybe Stargate “Atlantis”, plus the big one all “Indiana Jones” movies.  “Moonlight” inspired the mythical anthropology subject.

Pairings:  Xander/??(male, not yet known)

Speech Legend:

“Normal speech”

(…Other Languages…)


Summary:  Who knew that an old beat up fedora (hat) and a mock bullwhip was going to change him that much?  Xandiana was such a funny idea when it first came to him in the store, but now…  He was stuck with more geekiness then he knew how to handle, although knowing the whip thing was cool.

Warnings:  AU, AR & Timeline events are affected.  Caveat, I have not seen all episodes of BtVS or Angel, but I have watched the movie, several times, you know the one that led to the series and I may take from that too.  Plus all reference to Stargate SG-1 is going to be set during the earlier episodes, since I have most of them.  I just might bring the Atlantis into the SG family sooner then the actual episodes.  We’ll see how the story flows together.

This story is set during some Buffy episodes, but I’m taking it for granted that the actual year date is much later due to the electronic gagetry that I quote use of.  This is Fannon.  Once this story takes off, I’m hoping that Xander will be around the age that he was rumored to be at the end to the Buffy T.V. era or slightly older.


 Chapter One


“Aw hell,” Xander muttered, reading through a book in a language he knew that he’d never in his life master on his own.  The passage was quite clear to him now because for some reason he was able to read all known languages that Indiana Jones had learnt in his lifetime. 

Although with the knowledge from many book, radio, T.V. and movie versions of the Jones character into his mind; knowledge that also included obscure information of ancient artifacts and objects that were considered lost in the character’s timeline could probably still be around in this one, they both currently preferred to translate things rather than seek them out this time around.

(…The sun god Ra, a thousand years into the sky was banished from (wonky squiggle not yet deciphered) through the doorway to heaven…)

That’s not right,’ he thought.  ‘Someone must have used “Budge” for this.’  He looked at the previous translation that was written in an old journal that he had found.  The journal contained the original words in Ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphs, as well as a translation dated 1939.  ‘This actually is… “Stargate”, and not Doorway to Heaven.’

He stopped reading, rubbing his eyes.  He wondered just what else was related to this mysterious Stargate.  He was currently working his way through some books that his Indiana self had ‘acquired’ during that strange Halloween night when their personalities met. 


Halloween & A little history

The museum was too easy to break into, but the archaeologist personality knew that the more interesting stuff in the museum was never displayed.  He also knew just where to look for it too.

Xander broke into the Sunnydale Museum of Natural History, as well as the Museum of Civilization and from there he picked up many of the items and other things that he felt he needed.  He stored them in a personal storage unit that only he had access to.  It was a unit that he and Jesse had gotten together before their first year of high school and it only required about twenty dollars a month to keep.

It was a place where they kept their favourite toys and protected their geekiness.  It was kind of like a ‘boyz only club, no gurlz allowed’ type place.  They had an old computer, a small, but loud generator, a projector, an old black and white T.V. and salvaged VHS machine that amazingly still worked. 

This storage unit was where they kept all of the episodes for the old space or science fiction movies and T.V. series like Buck Rogers, Battlestar Galactica, Science Fiction Theatre, some Twilight Zone episodes, the obvious original Star Treks, Barbarella the Movie, Heavy Metal the movie (plus the magazines) and some other cult Sci-Fi movies like “The Last Starfighter”.  There were a few weird ones whose names Xander never could remember, but there was one space movie with an actor that he only knew as ‘John Boy’ due to the fact that his mother liked the old stuff like “The Waltons” and “Little House on the Prairie”. 

This storehouse was a place just for the two of them and it was one that they never ever mentioned to Willow.  Later, Xander had always been hesitant to tell her about it and in the end when Jesse died, he maintained payments on the unit in remembrance.  He never did. 

Periodically he would add VHS tapes to the collection making them as complete as possible, but he knew that time was moving on with the electronic industry and CDs & DVDs were replacing the tapes fast.  Still he let the VHS collection grow.

However, now it was also the place where he had chosen to hide his ‘borrowed’ museum goods and he had gotten into the habit of going to the storage facility at least three times a week to polish up his knowledge of the history and works that had been archived in the now destroyed museums.  The two museums had fallen about a year after that Halloween night and he had scavenged them for any kind of record that he could find.

He ‘borrowed’ some of the more obscure works that Giles had in order to decipher the books that interested him.  His Indiana personality was great in finding the links between certain words and phrases, as well as historical data related to anthropology.  He was always interested in different cultures even if those cultures were considered make-believe only because the roots were in daemonolgy.

Xander had a small group of other ‘non-slayer’ friends that he hung out with from time to time, a young Andrew being one of them.  It didn’t take Xander long to find out about the whole magic, Warlock thing that the boy was into and suddenly the mix of computers and magic became a bonus for both of them.

It was during that fateful summer where Xander took a trip away from the Hellmouth and the car that he was driving broke down.  He only got as far as Los Angeles.  His damnable luck had him in downtown L.A. during the time of the riots.  Luckily he was able to procure a couple of interesting things, plus tons of books that he decided to keep and that came from the L.A. Historical and Cultural Centers, plus other various known stores that held ‘Antiquities’ and magic paraphernalia.

Andrew had given him a special satchel bag for his road trip.  It was very similar to the over the shoulder leather one that Indiana Jones always had on him during the movies.  This clever youth had actually magicked it to be larger inside than out.  It was kind of like a mix of Marry Poppins’ bottomless carpet bag and Mr. Dress-up’s famous “Tickle Trunk”.

Xander used this bag in order to gather some things during the L.A. riots, which included several high capacity I-Pods, at least four to six brand new PSP players and three high capacity laptops of the ‘thin book’ variety.  He made sure that he was able to return to Sunnydale without any ‘otherworldly’ intervening do-gooder higher power noticing him and he truly hoped that the other side of the do-gooder field hadn’t noticed what he was up to either.

Upon his return he bribed Andrew with one of the laptops, two I-Pods and a PSP in order to ‘modify’ the remaining ones.  He wanted to increase their internal functionality and storage without altering the streamlined looks.  He then asked if one or two of his PSPs could be modified to hold information and scan that information into a data bank just like the device that Toshiko from Torchwood Season One used to scan books.

In fact Andrew had been able to convert one of the Magical “Book” Compendiums into one of the PSP.  It was a magical compendium that contained all known written works of the planet Earth, in every language possible, even the languages were supposedly ancient and dead ones.

The intrepid youth then altered a second PSP to scan anything that Xander wanted scanned.  This was done with personal journals and scrolls in mind.  Besides if Xander were to ever travel to another dimension well then obviously the compendium couldn’t be used, as the next dimension could have its own version of a compendium and it would not match his.  However, the scanner could and it would be able to retain the information and work like the compendium, so that when Xander crossed back into his home-world the information he scanned returned with him.

His laptops were out fitted for high memory and high speed interface with the current World Wide Web, but Andrew cautioned him about setting up his own website until he had figured out all of the bugs.  Xander wanted to get an internet only job and with Andrew’s help they found a couple that suited the Indiana personality, as well as his own growing knowledge of history, mythology and languages.

Andrew was sworn to secrecy and bribed with the incomplete T.V. original episodes of the Twilight Zone and the complete T.V. series of Buck Rogers.  The young Warlock’s improvements to the devices used a mix of technology and magic. 

It was obviously more magic then tech, but it turned out to be a good deal for him too because he was able to load the T.V. episodes into one of his own I-Pods.  The data of the video was compressed to save space, but the whole magical process fried the tapes.  Xander wanted the same done for his remaining collection because he didn’t want to lose them to time and corrosion, besides Andrew already owned those episodes so the boy didn’t mind the extra work. 

Andrew showed him how to do it on his own and since Xander was born on the Hellmouth he had simple control over small magics.  He could in fact manipulate objects that had already been manipulated with magic.  He was more a user then a creator, but he maintained a safely distant respect to those who used magic as often as Willow and Andrew did.

Xander’s current field of study and learning was direct from the internet and he was able to complete some core subjects through that method in order to gain a full Scholarship to the Los Angeles University (LAU).  This was done so that he could continue his studies full-time once he moved to L.A.  He was able to gain additional funds by assisting the University’s Linguistics Department in creating and changing their online website into something that was more user friendly.

Willow and Buffy were shocked to learn that Xander was moving away from Sunnydale when they had been planning to go to post-secondary education together, although Xander was never included in those discussions.  They just figured that he’d go to some community college or work at same dead-end loser jobs that he always seemed able to find, but never keep.  They assumed that he would always be around.

What they didn’t know that he was enrolled at L.A. University on a full scholarship.  They just thought that he was talking big when he said he moving to L.A..  They thought that he would go there to slack off and work other meaningless jobs, just like he had been doing while he was in high school.  He never told them any different.

He didn’t want to stay in Sunnydale and he didn’t want them to know that he was moving on and away from them, simply because it was time for him to move on.  Fighting the good fight was all well and good, but he felt that he was being systematically delegated to ‘bait’ when they went out on patrol.  This reason had been slowly pissing him off, so he needed to move in order to prevent words from being said; words that would irreparably damage their friendship.


So he’d left good ole Sunnydale and was now ensconced safely into a learning intensive program in order to complete his two masters.  He had been able to sit in on the finals for Honour degrees with sitting in class, but had to attend full-time in order to earn Masters Degrees. 

He fast tracked the Master studies and completed them in three years time.  He was now working on his Doctorates at the delicate age twenty-five and at least they were complementary Doctorates.  One was in “Mythological Anthropology” and the other was “Linguistics”.  Xander felt like it was cheating to be using the knowledge gained by a personality that had possessed him, but it didn’t stop him from continuing to learn more.

Meanwhile he was now buried in various internet requests to translate obscure dialects and scanned documents of rubbings, pottery shards or tablets.  His online company was small and if he had any choice in the matter it would always remain manageably small, but it was still used by many of the occultists who needed a translation for different demonic languages. 

He had his system secured by Andrew before he left and the little guy had ensured that it would always run the way that Xander wanted it to, from now into perpetuity.

Xander was currently looking into what looked like an Egyptian Hieroglyphic request that came from some ‘’ email address, but it sounded more like a test then something that actually needed translation.  He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked at the time.

Damn,’ he thought.  ‘I have two exams tomorrow.’

He finished part of the translation before shutting down his laptop.

(…Thousands of years into the sky, the sun god Ra was banished from the Taurin planet.  Joffa, Shalva and Taurin rebels buried the Stargate, never more to fear the Gaulden Sky Demons or they’re armies…)



Author’s Note:  Xander’s age is going on the premise that he finished high school at the age of eighteen, plus three years for his Honor studies and four for Doctorates, just because I want it that way.  Obviously the time is affected in this story, so perhaps you should think that the series took place later then the originating start date.  Let’s say that it started in 2003 instead, in order to catch up to the technology available and still have the VHSness of cheap tapes sold during garage sales for Xander’s storage collection.
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