Title : Understanding (sequel to Ours, 2nd in Sinful series)
Author : Serena
Rating : 15
*answer to Jinni’s Quickie Challenge, pairing 127*
Disclaimer : BtVS belongs to Joss Whedon and AB belongs to Laurell K. Hamilton.
When I woke up, I couldn’t remember where I was. I was not in my bed, not in my room, and not in my pj’s… because I was nude. The first thing I thought was that I had slept with some stranger because I was completely drunk. But I couldn’t really believe the only logical explanation I had found. I mean, why would I get drunk in the first place?
The last thing I remembered was going to slay some big bad vamps with the rest of the scoobies, which means to party and no alcohol. But then…
Yes. Then I remembered exactly. I had saved my friends lives in exchange for mine. I wasn’t in my room because I was no longer in Sunnydale. I wasn’t in my bed, but Jean-Claude’s one, the master vampire whom I had made the deal with… and let’s not forget Asher, his blonde lover.
And I had offered myself to them, body and soul. I had let Jean-Claude drink me the previous night while Asher held me tenderly, soothing my body with his cold hands. I had let myself drown in the pleasure Jean-Claude’s bite brought me. I suddenly felt the need to throw up.
I scrambled up and ran to what I assume was a bathroom. I was right, fortunately. I’ve never felt this sick in my whole life, except maybe the time I ate too much candy at Halloween. I splashed my face with cold water and I felt better. I just had to find some clothes and get the hell out of there.
I did found clothes. Actually, I found a closet full of clothes. They just weren’t mine. I don’t wear leather and silk… only when I disguise myself into vampire Willow. Now was not the time. But I had no other choice, so I grabbed a pair of leather pant and a green silk shirt. There were boots next to the door. All dressed up, I opened the door and ran outside.
I don’t remember how long I ran. It obviously wasn’t a house or even a mansion. It was too big, had too many underground passage. I was lost and I knew it. I wasn’t supposed to get out.
That’s when I understood that a boost with my blood wasn’t the price to pay for my friends’ lives. I finally understood that I hadn’t offered the vampires my blood and power because of it. I had handed them also the power to let me live or not. And it seemed like they wanted me alive, for now, but also in their grasp. I wasn’t supposed to get out… ever.
I screamed and kicked at the wall, I screamed until my lungs burned and I had trouble breathing. And when I was exhausted, I kicked the wall again before slumping down it, sobbing my heart out, crying desperately.
I understood that I was lost, that I was no longer a person with her own choices, with her own decisions to make, with her own actions to take. I was theirs. I was no longer Willow Rosenberg; I was Willow, the masters’ pet. I was Jean-Claude’s pet as well as Asher’s.
I don’t know how long I stayed there, huddled in the middle of a dark corridor. I was half conscious when I felt strong arms pick me up. I saw the black hair and blue eyes looking at me seriously. I didn’t kick or scream or struggle. I had simply lost the will to fight. I understood that I couldn’t undo my choice and I accepted my fate.
I let myself be brought back to Jean-Claude’s room by that said vampire. I didn’t want to fight anymore. Years of preventing apocalypses and preserving Sunnydale’s population peace had done it. Why fight anymore? It was so much simpler to just let Jean-Claude and Asher take care of me. I understood that nothing could be done. So why not make most of it? Why not just simply give myself to them like my heart desperately wanted to?
The dark haired vampire put me on the bed and sat down behind me. “Why run, Willow? We could give you anything you ever wanted. I know you long to be loved. I can see it every time I look into your eyes, into your soul. We took your life. We want to give you a different one, one where you won’t have to hang on every thread of affection, afraid it’ll be the last time you have it, a life where you will be loved.”
I closed my eyes. I so wanted to believe him. I wanted nothing else. I gave up and leaned back on his chest. My eyes opened again when I felt someone crawl over my legs. Asher was there. A tear rolled down my face and his fingers brushed it away. He understood too what it felt to be denied love. Jean-Claude was the last being on earth that could give him the kind of peace he craved, the love that his scars denied him. He understood. A kindred spirit.
When he kissed me, I kissed him back. I wouldn’t struggle anymore. “Kiss me again,” I whispered. “Never stop kissing me.”
“Don’t worry, chérie. I’ll always kiss you if you need be. You don’t have to be afraid. I’ll take care of you. We’ll take care of you.”
He kissed the line of my jaw, down to my neck. I understood what was happening. It was Asher’s night. I was theirs. Jean-Claude had given me the first *kiss*. Asher would give me the second one.
I didn’t even felt it when his fangs slid in my throat. I only felt pleasure spreading through every of my limbs as he started drinking. Jean-Claude’s embrace had been, pleasure, ecstasy, and finally, release. Asher’s embrace was positively orgasmic.
As I rode the waves of pleasure, the dark haired vampire stroke my back soothingly, calming me. It worked for some time until I couldn’t even think clearly because of what Asher was doing to me.
I felt dizzy. It was the loss of blood, but I couldn’t care less. I let him take as much as he wanted, as long as he continued making me feel this way. I don’t remember how many times I came, bucking against him, trying to get closer to him, to feel him. His mouth attached to my neck, sucking lightly, was driving me crazy, just as much as the feather like touches of Jean-Claude’s cold fingers brushing over my skin as he took off my clothes.
I didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore. They would both take care of me. I could feel it. I didn’t felt alone and never would I again.
I let darkness claim me.