Disclaimer: Don't own them, just borrowing them to play with. Buffy and associates are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. Hogan's Heroes and associated characters and settings are property of CBS.
Author Notes: Part of the Fic A Day challenge as well as a partial response to the challenge for Xander to end up on Hogan's Heroes *smirks* Wish Granted.
Watching her ex and noting how depressed he'd grown since she'd left him, Anya considered her options. She couldn't 'punish' him as such. Since even though he'd left her at the altar, he'd done so out of mostly selfless concerns for both of their futures. Still, he had left her at the last minute even if it was the fault of her 'co-workers'.
This definitely would bear some thought, he had sacrificed his chance at happiness for her, so he did deserve at least a small reward...
"Anyanka," Salamand said politely as he watched the vengance demon with care. "What can I do for you this fine evening."
"I have an important task that I need taken care of. I can't act directly, because it would break the rules and possibly annoy D'Hoffryn in turn as well."
"That would be a very unwise thing to do, upsetting Lord D'Hoffryn is rarely a wise course. Still, I do owe you a debt, since you did me that favor the one time. What might I do, to repay the favor?"
Anyanka smiled at that and let out a soft laugh. "Well since you are asking to repay that favor, I could say that there is the matter of my ex, Xander Harris. Since we are no longer together, he has become very depressed. I do recall that he enjoyed playing soldier quite a great deal..."
Salamand nodded at that. "I see, that would be a simple enough matter to take care of my dear Anyanka."
"But if such were to happen, I'd want him kept in 'relative' safety. I know he has enjoyed that show Hogan's...something or other...would such a 'change' create any issues? Especially if he didn't recall other wise?"
Salamand chuckled softly at that. "I believe that would be very simple to arrange for. Plus it would ensure the Slayer and Witch could not effect him either. A very neat solution. It would quite nicely balance the scales, and perhaps leave you owing me a tiny favor in the future?"
"Agreed, Salamand. I am very grateful for your 'attention' to the matter."
Letting out a groan at the racket, Xander rolled out of bed, swearing softly under his breath. "Damn it Schults, what the hell is the problem now?"
The rest of the guys in the barracks were complaining in a simillar manner.
"Roust, roust, everyone up and fall out, line up in front of the barracks," Sergeant Schultz ordered in his usual voice. "Hurry up now, and move it."
Quickly grabbing his shoes, Xander slipped them on as he joined the rest of the POW's in falling out for the impromptu roll call. If you could call it that.
Glancing at Colonel Clink as he paced back and forth in front of the assembled POW's Xander had a sudden sinking feeling.
Watching as the last of the men stumbled out and lined up Colonel Klink let a smile cross his face.
"It has been brought to my attention that there are a number of issues going on. That certain of you men, are having issues with others who are here. Since this issue has not been resolved directly by any of you, in spite of warnings, it is up to me to resolve this little issue now. So Sergeant Schultz will be supervising the rearranging of the barracks and who is assigned where," Colonel Klink said a tiny smirk crossing his face. "Since you men have chosen to disrupt my own schedule and create problems for me, I am doing the change in who bunks where at this time, in order to return the favor."
"Now wait just a minute there Colonel," Colonel Hogan started to say.
"I already know you personally would have objections Hogan, but that is unimportant. You'll all do as you are told. Any who complain or make things into a bigger issue, will be put in the stockade for a month on solitary confinement," Klink said the smirk growing. "That is all, and I will expect no further complaints after this point."
With that said, Colonel Klink turned and slowly walked away, returning to his own quarters and a pleasant drink before bed.
Letting out a small sigh, Colonel Hogan bit back the comments that sprang to mind.
Frowning slightly, at this latest Scooby meeting Willow thought back about the past week or so. Xander hadn't returned any one's phone calls or shown up at all. Glancing over at Anya, she frowned ever so slightly.
"Anya, you wouldn't happen to know what's going on with Xander would you?"
Glancing up from where she was counting the money in the register Anya frowned slightly. "What about Xander?"
"I was asking if you knew where he was Anya, no one's heard from him or seen him in a week or so. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?"
"Nope, not a clue. I mean even though I got my powers back, because he dumped me, I can't act against him. D'Hoffryn forbade it. So not a clue. Maybe he's just moping around at his apartment?"
"No," Buffy said slowly. "I know he's not. I stopped there the other night and he wasn't in. Plus I asked at his worksite earlier today and they don't know where he is either. Said he's been gone almost a week now."
The conversation was interrupted by Spike's arrival. "Hey Watcher, got some news of interest to you. I heard from Willy that we had an unusual feller show up, and I figured you might wanna warn the Slayer about him."
"Oh really Spike, and what did Willy claim showed up this time?"
Spike just grinned at that. "Money first, after all this one is a rather important concern. Specially as I heard he used to be friends with Anyanka here. So what do you say?"
"Details first Spike, if it's truly all that important I'm sure I can come up with something for your troubles."
Grinning Spike decided to concede the point. "Interesting how the Whelp hasn't been around isn't it? I'd hate to imagine what might have happened if he ran into the Temprus Magus...Doubt that anyone would know where or when he'd end up..."
Giles jaw dropped at those words. "Are you absolutely sure Spike," he asked after staring in shock for a few seconds.
Spike nodded at that. "Yep, heard it was one by the name of Salamand, although if it is, I'd definitely be avoiding him."
Grabbing his wallet Giles pulled out several bills and handed them to Spike. "I want every single, little detail you can find for me Spike. If you get any truly useful information, I'll make it well worth your while."
Smirking Spike just nodded at that. "Fine Watcher, but I would keep your girl in check. I'd hate to see what he could or would do to her."
Turning Spike slowly walked away, and paused a moment at the door to casually toss one last comment over his shoulder. "You wouldn't have happened to met up with him would you Anyanka?"
With that final touch he walked out of the doore quickly dissapearing into the night.
"So Anya, did you meet up with him," Giles asked softly, his voice filled with ice.
"Uh, maybe...but why would that matter," Anya replied slowly, backing away from the register. As all the eyes of those in the room focused on her.
"Because, if you happened to know Salamand, and with Xander suddenly dissapearing, it seems more then a little coincidental," Giles said glaring at her. "Now did you meet up with the Temprus Magus or not Anyanka?"
"Yes, but we only talked about old times. I didn't ask him to do anything, as that would mean disobeying D'Hoffryn's command. I'm not about to get killed just to get vengance on Xander for leaving me at the altar."
"Giles what is this Temper Mage or what ever it is," Buffy asked cutting Giles off before he could get too distracted by Anya.
"A Temprus Magus, Buffy, not a Temper Mage. As for what one is, they're a type of demon. A very ancient, very powerful and extremely rare type of demon. They possess powers far beyond mortal comprehension. I'll dig up a book so that you can see what one looks like, but you must not interfere with it at all. It could kill you before you could even blink, if you threatened it. They are immune to mortal magic and weapons. There are legends of weapons created specifically to kill them, but nothing that has ever been confirmed."
"So with Xander's luck if he ran into one..." Buffy asked slowly trailing off as the likely answer registered with her.
"Then at absolute best, he is mercifully dead Buffy," Giles said softly. "At worst case, he could be anywhere in time and space, as Temprus Maguses possess the ability ot manipulate it as easily as you or I breath air."
Willow stared at Anya, a slow steady suspicion making it's way across her thoughts. "If you knew that demon, and you 'talked' with him. Then he might have done something in order to get a debt paid off or gain a favor against future need..."
"I have no idea what your're talking about Willow."
"Very well then Anyanka," Giles said slowly and steadily. "I will take your word, if you can swear to me upon your name and your oaths of service to D'Hoffryn that you had nothing to do directly, or indirectly with Xander's dissapearance. That you in no way, shape or form, asked this Temprus Magus to go after him or to cause him harm in any way, shape or form. Can you do that Anya?"
Glaring at Willow, Anya pouted. "I didn't do anything and I don't have to swear any such oath."
"I see," Giles said softly, his expression hard as stone. "So then if I should call upon D'Hoffryn to get a definitive answer, what would his response be?"
Anya went pale at that.
"Oh no you didn't, Anya," Buffy said moving quickly to block off the door. "I think you're staying right here and that you're going to have your Temper buddy undo whatever it is that he did, or else we'll have a very interesting conversation with D'Hoffryn."
The End For Now...yep I'll do more eventually but you gotta hate the cliff hangers.