Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and characters are owned by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Criminal Minds is owned by ... whoever owns it. CBS, maybe? Also, the mini-Stargate reference is owned by the Stargate folks.
A/N: This is my first fic on TtH. Hopefully it's okay. Be gentle with me.
All sound stopped in the BAU conference room as the ISWC agents entered the room. The two groups stared at each other, one confused and the other well, more confused.
“What? Do I have something on my shirt?” the older blonde asked glancing down at her outfit. She froze before quickly turning to the younger brunette. “I have mom hair again, don’t I? I told Willow this wasn't the right style for me but noo I just had to be Kennedy's senior project for beauty school and seriously beauty school
,” she sniffed. The other girl quickly interrupted her with soothing compliments on the cute and totally non-momish hairstyle, rolling her eyes at her male companion when the blonde turned back to stare warily at the agents.
"Is this some kind of joke?" Rossi finally asked as he eyed the trio.
"Joke?" the blonde asked, crinkling her nose. “What it wasn’t bad enough that you thought I had mom hair so now I’m a joke
?” her voice reached a rather high point on the last word causing everyone to wince. “It’s my height, isn’t it?” she asked with pursed lips. The dark haired man behind her winced again and slowly backed away. The brunette’s eyes widened and she made a sort of quiet whimper.
“Just because I am short and blonde doesn’t mean that I am a joke! I am the co-President and founder of the ISWC. I run one of the largest intelligence and law enforcement firms in the world. I can so totally kick your ass!” she hissed as she stalked toward Rossi, a hard glint in her eyes. She reached out and pulled him up from his chair by the front of his shirt. As he dangled in her grip she shook him screeching, “Who’s laughing now!”
“Buffy!” the brunette yelped. “Let him down. Giles said we have to play nice.”
The dark haired man made calming motions with his hands. “Hey. I understand the total suckage on the height thing, not that I would know personally or anything,” he stuttered as she turned her glare on him, “’cause I’m much with the tallness and obviously totally cannot relate but I don’t think you should break the nice suit who I am sure will apologize to the nice lady,” he added with his own glare at Rossi.
Buffy considered that for a moment before placing Rossi back down with a sigh. The man looked quite wild eyed for a moment before visibly pulling himself back together. The dark haired man cleared his throat expectantly.
“I apologize for unintentionally insulting you,” came the swift reply, “but I was talking to him
.” He pointed at the dark haired man.
“Me?” the man squeaked as the brunette asked crossly, “What did you do now?” The man shook his head wildly at her. “Nothing, I swear, Dawn!”
"I got it,” Morgan said suddenly. “Did you lose a bet or something?" he asked with a grin, pointing at the dark haired man.
He looked confused. "What?"
"Morgan, I don't think ..." Reid began before Morgan interrupted.
"No, I get it. You're trying to impress Garcia with the eye patch," he laughed, leaning against the table.
"Who?" he asked, bewildered.
"What eye patch?" came from behind him as Kevin came in with Penelope. Eyebrows went up all around the table and reached new heights when Buffy pulled a knife from under her jacket.
The man turned around and caught sight of the other dark haired man.
"Whoa!" both men exclaimed as they jumped away from each other.
Everyone stared at the mirror images. Well, almost mirror images.
"Oh my God, Xander!" Dawn finally squealed. "There's two of you!" She paused and cocked her head. "Wait. Didn't we already do this?"
Buffy snapped her mouth shut. "Oh, yeah," she said. She turned to Hotch. "You wouldn't happen to be the owners of stick say, this big?" she asked her arms spread wide. "Belonged to someone name Toth?"
Hotch looked startled. "No."
"Do you happen to know Thor?" Dawn asked as she studied Xander and the other man intently.
"Thor? As in Norse mythology?" Spencer asked curiously.
"I think we can take that as a no, Dawnie," Xander said as he shook his head slightly. He turned to his twin and stuck his hand out. "Xander Harris, IWSC."
Kevin shook his hand automatically. "Kevin Lynch, BAU." He blinked several times as he realized that Dawn was studying him closely. With an odd gleam in her eyes.
“Dawn, stop staring at him. You’re making him nervous,” Xander said with a smile. Then he turned a serious look on Kevin. “Are you evil?” Buffy and Dawn moved closer, narrowing their eyes.
“What?” Kevin turned startled eyes on Xander.
“It’s a valid question,” Dawn stated flatly.
“Are you evil? Yes or no,” Buffy stated just as flatly. She gripped her knife tighter and glared at him. Kevin looked for help from the rest of the team but found them all frozen. Penelope was still staring between him and Xander.
Xander nodded. “Have you ever been evil and do you intend to be evil in the future?”
“No.” Apparently this was the right answer as both girls suddenly relaxed and fell back a few steps.
Xander grinned suddenly and spun around to face the women. “So, who gets to tell Willow?”