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The Parrot's Jabber

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This story is No. 8 in the series "2009 Fic-a-day Challenge". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Sir Alexander Dane could handle aliens but being abducted with an one-eyed man who believed in magic were pushing even his limits. Alternately: How “Termites” entered the Councils’ vocabulary list of newly encountered non-human species.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Galaxy QuestEffieFR71989031,60810 Aug 0910 Aug 09Yes
Title: The Parrot’s Jabber
Author: Effie
Disclaimer: I do not own Galaxy Quest nor do I own Buffy the Vampire Slayer in any right or form legally or otherwise.
Fandom: Galaxy Quest
Rating: FR7
Summary: Sir Alexander Dane could handle aliens but being abducted with an one-eyed man who believed in magic were pushing even his limits. Alternately: How “Termites” entered the Councils’ vocabulary list of newly encountered non-human species.
Word Count: 930
Notes: For the Duchess who requested one with Xander and implanted this worm into my brain until I gave in and wrote this.

The convention had ended rather well. He had received some recognition for his work, from fans who knew him outside his role as Dr. Lazarus, and who seemed to appreciate his art other than just Nesmith. Although his relationship with the man had improved after the Thermian incident, he still had his issues with the man on the art of acting. It was nice to know his acting was appreciated for a real skill.

Walking out of the convention, still in costume, he was heading toward his car he was cut off by a man who looked like he was in costume himself. He glared at him only to receive a glare in return. The man opened his mouth when a beam of light hit them both. He looked confused for a moment, looking down at the circles surrounding both him and Alexander. It took less than the time it took for him to dematerialize for Alexander to know it was an alien transporter.

When they rematerialized Alexander only hoped it was either the Thermians or a non-hostile alien species that understood the concept of acting not wanting for him nor the rest of the cast to save them. He glanced over at the one-eyed man who was gaping like a fish out of water.

“What was that?” He asked, American accent and Californian. Alexander sighed. He was hoping to have left them behind here at the Cleveland Convention after the incident with Kwan and some young blond man.

“We have just been teleported,” He replied dryly. It was an unpleasant experience but one he could fake handling with ease. The man turned and bore his eye at him.

“Whoa, that’s some pretty big magic there,”

“Magic?” He asked wondering when magic had come into the conversation.

“Yeah, teleportation so teleportation spell. What else do you know that does this?”

“A teleportation device?” He responded incredulous. The man returned his gaze with a skeptical gaze of his own. Before he could respond the door to the room opened in much the same fashion as his first greeting a pair of Thermians in their true form entered with their equipment.

The one-eyed man hastily pulled out something than he had to turn to look at.

“Is that stake?”

“Yeah!” the man replied as he backed away from the Thermians. They changed into their human looking form quickly.

“Apologies, Dr. Lazarus and guest. We had thought our true forms would not startle like last time.” The Thermian said.

“Didn’t bother me,” replied Alexander. The one-eyed man was holding the stake between himself and the other Thermian who had not approached him. “Will you put that down!” He ordered.

“You want me to lose my only weapon when there’s a kind of demon I’ve never seen before?”

“Demon?” He repeated again. “What century do you live in? These are not demons they are Thermians.”

“So they’re ther…so you no what kind they are. So not helping me relax,”

“Thermians,” The man opened his mouth and Alexander knew it was going to be something stupid. “Just called them Termites, God knows they’ve heard it enough from Nesmith.”


“Yes, that will suffice although we are not in related to your Earth termites in any way.” Said one of Thermians.

“As charming as this conversation is, why have you brought us onto the ship?” Alexander asked hoping it wasn’t another evil alien bent on their destruction

“Dr. Lazarus, we were hoping you would do us the honor of discussing some of your people’s strategy to our people. We have been studying the historical documents and would like some of your personal insight.” Alexander sighed.

“I suppose I will but when will it be?”

“We are actually heading there now. It will not take more than three Earth hours. Will that be acceptable?”

“I might as well.” He replied sighing.

“Wait, we’re going where?” The one-eyed man asked. Alexander gave him a look.

“I’m going give a speech in three hours. That’s really all you need to know.”

“Hey!” He said indignantly. “I just can’t vanish for three hours with your demons friends. I don’t know who much mojo your demon friends have but my best friends are the slayer and one of the most powerful witches on earth capable of her own teleportation spells.”

“Witches? Spells? Are you insane or just stupid?” He asked glaring. “The Thermians are aliens and the teleportation was caused by a device not magic.” The one-eyed man looked shocked.


“Yes, aliens.”

“Aliens are real.”


“Huh.” He replied seemingly having accepted it as fact in a matter of minutes. “Cool,” He paused. “Are you an alien?” He asked studying his appearance.

“No, I’m an actor.”

“So you’re human.”

“Yes,” He asked.

“Just checking ‘cause just because you’re not an alien doesn’t mean you can’t be a demon or part.”


“Yep. They’re real.”

“Demons are real?”


“That’s impossible.”

“Any more impossible than aliens?” Alexander paused and thought about it.

“I suppose not.” He said. This was just perfect.

“Good. Guess I should ask you’re name if we’re going to be together for the next three hours.”

“I’m Alexander Dane, Sir Alexander Dane,”

“You’re an Alexander?”

“Yes,” he responded wondering why that was of any relevance.

“Cool, I’m Alexander Harris, Xander Harris,” Xander said smiling crookedly. Alexander sighed, of course he had to share the same name with this man. A man who went by Xander of all nicknames. Looking into the one eye of the man, Alexander knew it was going to be a long three hours as the Thermians escorted them out of the teleportation room.

The End

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