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Pack man

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Summary: After seeing Cobra do something bad, Xander joins the real American Heroes.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Comics > GI Joe
Multiple Crossings > Xander-Centered > Theme: Heroic Xander
TTrunksFR1512,4390113,98111 Aug 0911 Aug 09Yes
Hello all, sorry I couldn’t’ resist, just saw the new GI Joe, and well it had to be done. YO GOE!


Xander swore as the Viper’s kept coming at him, pumping the assault shotgun, he swore. Looking at his friend and partner for this mission he said, “MAGE, WE CAN’T KEEP THIS UP MUCH LONGER, TRIGGER THE DETONATORS!”

The boy ounce known as Harry potter sent a knife flying into one of the Viper’s “eyes” even as he pulled the trigger on his M-16, even as he said, “Are you crazy Pack man, you’re not supposed to be close to things that go BOOM, when they go BOOM.”

The man known as Pack man fired his last shell throwing the now useless shotgun aside he pulled a grenade and threw it, cursing his lack of a heavier caliber gun even as he pulled his custom silver plated desert eagle with his right hand, and his war axe with his left, even as he said, “I know that Mage, unfortunately unless you’ve got some brilliant plan well I’d rather take these venom sucker’s down with us.”

The fellow GI Joe agent nodded as he threw his now empty M-16 at one of the enemy groups, transmitting it into a large boulder even as he moved back saying, “Damnit Pack, ah well it’s a good day to die.”

Pulling the detonator from his waist he was seconds away from pressing the trigger when “YO JOE!” was heard from behind them.

Suddenly two large heli-carriers rose up, gods only know how many bullets and energy rounds nailing the attacking Vipers, their tough black skin tight armor offering no protection, even as with a roar and a yell the two most dangerous grapplers dove from the carriers diving into the melee.

One wearing a typical “Smokey” hat grabbed one of the cyborgs and smashed it into the ground with such force the titanium deck of the helicarrier dented as he said, “You Joe’s didn’t think I’d let two of my newest recruits end up Viper bait on your first mission did you?”

Even as the Joe only known as “Claws” carved the Cyborgs up with his foot long metal well claws, and more were arriving, Xander pulled his second war Axe and charged into the battle, his modified blades cutting and rending flesh as easily as a hot knife through butter, the Kevlar armor was no help to the poor bastards he was giving the rest of death.

Xander didn’t even notice the entrance of the black clad ninja known only as Snake Eyes until one of the enemies got inside of his guard and in less than a second had the top of his skull separated from the bottom.

Even as Xander watched her had to fight the urge to salute as the man who’d trained him to fight even missing an eye walked onto the battle field, two desert eagles blasting away in a scary tandem, the enemies seemed smart enough to avoid this man, not that it mattered, this man was known in another world Nicholas Fury, in this world however he was known as Gunner, Sergeant Gunner, even as the tide of the battle started to turn, Xander looked over his soldier for the love of his life and the woman who’d first made him join this crazy and awesome group.

Xander Harris after the loss of his girlfriend Anya Jenkins, and exile from his friends to stop him from “Getting hurt” had taken to Africa on a hunt to recruit Slayers. Their he’d run across a Cobra convoy trying to sell a neurotoxin to a local drug lord, Lady Jaye had been following them as well. Seeing the beautiful Javelin user captured Xander had reacted first and though second, long story short Cobra lost again.

Lady had offered him a chance to be one of the best, and he’d decided to do it. He’d met Harry shortly their after, apparently he was a top of line something or other in England and had been offered a place after “Dealing with his own snake problem.”

Xander’d been shocked to find his uncle Slaughter was the book Camp leader, but soon he’d gotten over it, and even grown in his aging uncles foot steps to become “Kid slaughter” of course he knew his uncle had had something to do with his real code name, he swore to this day he’d get Jaye back for it.

What kind of name was “Pack man” even though it made sense since Xander’s job was support, anything from field medic, to another gun, the explosive, to testing victims of poisons to see what it was ((though if it wasn’t certain known poisons he couldn’t necessarily fix it, but any information when someone was poisoned could save their lives if he couldn’t’ neutralize it in the field odds were he could at least slow it down)). He was literally the one man pack, thus why he and Mage had been “recruited” to try and find and destroy one of Cobra’s newest war machines a floating base with a large pulse cannon built into it, if it was fired at the wrong places a country could collapse.

They’d gotten pretty far until they’d run into Storm Shadow, that hadn’t been fun.

Xander blocked one of Storm’s swords, the other getting knocked away, even as he felt the white ninja’s foot connect with his cup protected crotch but moved back.

Xander knew what he had to do, the gang plank was just too small for his axes, and he’d have to use them.

Throwing one of the axes, then the other to buy him some time, he reached down, and pulled out the deadly twin knives, both were a mix of bayonet, and combat knife, even as the white ninja returned his own swords to his sheath and pulled out two short swords.

Mage meanwhile was trying his damndest to keep his friend free from various Vipers on scene. The only reason this “Fight was even working was because Storm shadow had been planning to gut Xander from behind when a quick Deffindo had blown him HARD into the gang plank, he had hoped he’d killed the man, he knew he’d broken at least four ribs, but here the ninja was fighting as if he was in prime condition.

In truth Harry knew had the man not been dealing with the simple human limitations Xander would be dead, the pain and inability to move was slowing Shadow down just enough making him just clumsy enough Xander was able to hold his own.

Even as he chambered another round into the bolt action he blew another Viper’s head off sending the tortured soul to find it’s peace, he really needed to get away from the main beam, but the only clear plank was the one Shadow and Xander were fighting on, an even he didn’t’ want to get involved in that.

Supposedly one of the reasons Xander was known as Pack man, was because when a member of his pack was hurt he’d defend them with his “Claws” Xander had a natural skill with knives. Sure he was good with a guy, and axes, but no one could beat him in all the Joes with knives.

As he got punched in the face he remembered that Snake Eyes had never gone toe to toe with him and that if one was better in combat over all, it didn’t matter how good you were.

Getting a VERY light cut that didn’t’ even pierce all the white clad ninja’s body armor Xander saw his chance and fired one of his knife blades right at the ninja’s right eye.

Even as he moved forward, kicking out with all his available force with his right foot right into the bastard’s chest.

Storm shadow of course grabbed the knife blade but this required him to drop both his sword, the kick that followed sent him back even as he jammed this Gaijin’s own knife blade into him, however that left him open for a right jab that made even his head go to the side. Then so fast even the infamous Storm Shadow couldn’t’ react his left wrist was grabbed Pack mans arm coming up to wrap around his neck, has Storm Shadow grown up in America in a middle class family in the 80’s he’d know this move, but since he didn’t’ he didn’t feel the fear he should have.

Holding him even as Storm shadow pumped his right arm and three long curved blades shot from the arm Xander said, “COBRA CLUTCH!”

Then with a brutal pull and slam Xander slammed Storm into the gang plank with all his force behind it, not ounce but six times, the blood flow to his brain going low, it took ten seconds for the battle hardened ninja to finally pass out.

Mage looked at Xander and said, with a smirk, “I am SO telling Sarge he was right.”

Xander mumbled something.

Ducking a laser blast he threw a knife smirking at it went down; looking at the seemingly never ending attack of Cobra he knew what he needed to do, first of all focus on the here and now, second of all.”

Xander let his own mystical ability take over even as he said, his shirt ripping his green camo vest barely staying on as the primal pulled a collapsible Bo staff from his coat and said, “Hey Cobra Commander, you know what happens to a Cobra who fights a Hyena?”

Moving forwards with amazing stick fighting skill he blacked a strike and struck out breaking the Viper’s neck. The second one had his right wrist shattering before his right knee was then the two razor sharp points of the collapsible Bo staff were jammed into his heart, in a splash of blood Hyena went to work.

The hyena that was a box of worms, it turned out the “Creature” itself was more of a well a collective subconscious. Every person who used it gave the spirit a “Stain” with help from Snake eyes and lots of meditation Xander was finally able to reach the original spirit, and while this had cost it most of its power, the memories were in valuable.

What Xander now called his “Hyena” mode was more of a hyper awareness, similar to how certain African tribes would use drugs to “Zone in” and focus before combat. His senses were a hair more powerful, but not enough to allow him any real bonuses.

Oh yeah, and the knowledge of an over a thousand year old weapon master.

As he went ballistic with strikes, the stick blows taking out quite a few enemies to their deaths.

I looked at the emotionless mask that belonged to Cobra Commander pointing one of my combat sticks at his “head” I said, “YO JOE!”

Knowing my comrades were behind me, I felt a feral smirk adorn my face even as I ran at C.C. and knew whether I won or not this was just one of a million battles.

((Thirty years later))

Xander looked down, this was THE final battle, Cobra had taken a lot of good Joe’s, and gods only knew how many enemies the Joes had taken.

He leaned heavily on his cane it was supporting his bitchy left knee, the knee itself destroyed and cybernetic implants only making it adequate to support his weight for twenty minutes a day.

His right hand gently rubbed over Gunnery’s eye patch, he’s lost his first gun trainer almost fifteen years ago.

Popping his back, Xander wasn’t surprised when the klaxons saying the hull had been pierced was heard, as the Vipers ran into the command deck, he braced himself, pulling out a laser pistol, even as the youngsters around him went for their own Rifles he made sure his black with grey streaks was out of his face even as the thick door finally gave away under their assault, saying, “YO JOE!”

His hand pistol fired eight shots in rapid succession, dropping eight neo Vipers, even as he even as he felt the gun over heat he threw it away and pulled the energy blade from his cane, cutting down the eight remaining, only to lock eyes with the current leader of Cobra.

Circling one another Xander said, “Well Storm Shadow, I’m the only old Joe left, and you’re the last of the old guard, how fake are you now, last I heard over half of you was cybernetic implants.”

A raspy ventilated voice replied, “More than that Harris-san, what do you say we finish this today.”

Xander nodded as he said, “My leg can support me for twenty minutes, after that I’m done for.”

Storm Shadow nodded, “My body can go at full speed for twenty minutes before it over heats to critical levels.”

Soon the two men were circling one another, suddenly Xander pulled an energy pistol, firing rapid blasts of energy the ninja JUST got his hand up in time to stop him from getting blasted even as the pistol’s charge went dead and he threw it away saying, “You always were a paranoid bastard.”

Storm shadow nodded, “Thank you Harris-san.”

Xander then replied, “That’s why I never gave you a chance?”

The man looked up as if to say “What” before the cane ((Which had been floating in the air)) connected with his back, sending a hundred gig volts through his body even as the ninja dropped his body dying Xander walked over and said, “This is why I’m called Pack man rather than Honorable man, or Samurai Guy, I never could beat you in a fair battle, kind of funny that I out cheated a ninja, good bye Storm Shadow.”

Pulling one of the laser rifles he turned it to full auto and held down the trigger burning and cutting through the “Mans” head, leaving nothing but a burned stump where his neck had been.

Smirking he said, “Well boys, we did it Cobra is no more, there is only one thing to say, YO JOE!”

Xander had raised his hand, before falling. It would later be determined that Xander “Pack Man” Harris had a terminal form of bone cancer. His older organs weren’t helping him, and he’d been told he had less than four months.

Inscribed on his tomb stone were 20 words, “Alexander “Pack Man” Harris, the first man to be in a fight, and the last to leave, YO JOE!”


Yo, tell me what you think, and I do not own Marvel, GI Joe, or Xander.

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