No, I don't own anything here!
Joss Whedon and his group own Buffy The Vampire Slayer
, and all related materials and characters. The late Gene Roddenberry and Robert Hewitt Wolfe created Andromeda
. Produced by Majel Roddenberry. Directed by David Winning. 'Stargate Andromeda'
, here on TtH, inspired this story.
Here I go again! This time, there will be several chapters. But don't expect regular updates. Sorry about that, but I will try to update as quickly as I can.
Thanks for reading it!
Halloween and Buffy gets a new toy. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Buffy's Shining Path
OCTOBER 29, 1997:
"I can't believe Snider is making us do this!" Xander complained, for the umpteenth time.
Buffy rolled her eyes, but said nothing, as she led her friends into Ethan's to find their costumes. The bell over the door rang as the trio stepped inside the shop and joined the crowd already hunting the racks for their own costumes.
"Buffy, you think Snider could be a troll in disguise?" Asked Willow. She was annoyed with the little man. Willow had plans for Halloween! She was going to-she was going to-Ah, who was she kidding? She had no plans, except to stay home.
"Seems like he could be-At least, partly troll," Buffy considered, then shook her head. "But, nah, fully Human, so no slayage." She sounded disappointed.
"Couldn't you pretend he was a real troll and slay him?" Xander begged, sharing her disappointment. Sure, all he had to go home to were a couple of drunks, but that was his time
the Troll was eating away-By Xander's view, he gave for the cause already! Why should he be forced to sacrifice not only hours of his sacred time, but his sacred, hard-worked-for money as well? Stupid, Troll!
"Love too! But can't," Buffy sighed regretfully. "At least the vamps and other ghastlies and ghoulies are taking the night off, according to Giles."
"Um, why?" Willow asked, curious. "I'd have thought Halloween would be prime hunting night?"
Buffy shrugged, absently, already focussing on the current hunt. "Too commercial." And, then, she gracefully slipped into the racks followed by Willow.
Xander dodged other shoppers and wandered about, poking at bins and racks. When he finally got to the weapons bin, he grabbed the last plastic military rifle in it and jerked out of reach, of the grasping hands of a younger boy.
"Sorry, kid! It's mine!" Xander grinned, triumphantly. Wriggling the toy a little, just out of the boy snatching reach.
The boy stuck out his tongue at Xander and jumped back into the racks. Xander tisked, shook his head slightly, and still grinning, walked back into the racks, looking for the girls. He had what he needed to complete his costume-And look! It only cost him two dollars! Xandman, the two-dollar costume king! Hmmm, he liked the sound of that-King . . .
Xander found the girls huddled over an eighteen-century dress. Oh, for the love of everything sacred and merciful! Xander thought in exasperation and disgust. He knew why Buffy was drooling over the thing. Only problem . . .Deadboy hated those bimbos. Should he tell Buffy? Hmmm, not exactly a lot of incentive for him to actively benefit the King Of The Hair Care Users, but Buffy . . .?
"Hey! Kids! Whatcha' got there?"
"Xander! Isn't it beautiful?" Buffy beamed, holding a section of the skirt out to him.
"Um, Buffy? Let me put it gently . . .Eighteenth century noblewoman? Big turn off for the guy with the hair gel obsession."
Buffy momentarily looked confused; then a mulish, suspicious look crossed her face. Uh-oh, Xander inwardly sighed in exasperation. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut?
But, unexpectedly, Willow came to the rescue.
"He's right, Buffy. Xander and I found him operating two
computers at the same time!" The smartest Human hacker in Sunnydale said ecstatically. "We got to talking. Angel loves computers and geek stuff! You, you know, in his original time period, people were really into education and machines and inventions. He didn't like the girls of his period because they were stupid, and vapid, and ignorant."
Buffy jerked her hands back from the dress, her actions similar to someone touching something burning hot! Her eyes darted wildly around the rapidly, diminishing costume choices. "Oh, something smart and hot," she murmured. Hot she could do . . .But hot alien babe? Buffy was just not so sure.
An amused Xander decided to cut his friend a break, even if Buffy's choices on boyfriends fell hard on the left side of creepy-A freakin' corpse, for cryin' out loud! Xander peered at the racks, a little more closely then before. He thought he saw something he had recognized-Ah, ha! It was still there! He pounced on his prized and proudly brought it out to the Slayer.
"What is this?" Buffy asked, eyeing the two-piece costume. A sleeveless, low cut tunic and pants; the tunic was a burgundy color, with gold piping. The pants were the same color, with a broad single black stripe running up on the sides.
Xander grinned. "This is from an obscure cancelled TV show, called 'Andromeda'. They only ran thirteen episodes of it, but it's got a cult following, and Tall and Brooding would know it."
"Okaaay," Buffy took the offered costume and sized it up against her, and frowned. "Xander? What's the name of the character that goes with this costume?"
Xander's grin got even wider. "Andromeda, Buffy, her name is Andromeda. She's a sentient warship, and that’s one of her android avatars!"
Willow giggled. "Cool!"
Unnoticed by the three teenagers, Ethan Raynes, lurked just of eyesight, but not hearing. He frowned in disappointment-He had reserved that dress especially for Giles' slayer. But the silly girl was determined to impress that vampire pet of hers, and short of actually attempting mind-control, then he had to accept her choice and hope it would create sufficient chaos! NOVEMBER 01, 1997, TWO A. M.:
Buffy was in her bedroom, sitting by her desk, still in her Halloween costume. The tiny blond slayer held a hand mirror to her face. She stared down her open mouth, trying to see if there were wires or chips or motherboards in there. But, nope! Just regular Buffy stuff.
Sighing, Buffy put down the mirror and slumped in her chair. No panic, no panic, Buffy chanted to herself. No need to panic-yet. Buffy thought about the past few hours and the Chaos mage, Ethan Rayne, and she wanted to break his legs again!
Like everyone else who had bought a cursed costume, she became her costume-Buffy became Glorious Heritage Heavy Cruiser, Shining Path To Truth and Knowledge AI Model GRA 112, Serial number XMC-10284, Andromeda freakin' Ascendant! Oh, yeah, if that mouthful was too thin, try adding 'Rommie' to that list of names!
Being a superior, no nonsense AI, 'Rommie' quickly identified the source of the Chaos magic, after
rescuing Cordelia from Jo-Jo the Dog Boy and questioning her. Cordy was still Cordy and not some cat-Although . . .Buffy got started, then discarded that line of thought, 'cause really, it was too cheap and easy. Cordy's Party Town costume remained a costume. Ethan's costumes were the ones turning real. Leaving Cordy behind, in Buffy'shouse, 'Rommie' marched towards Ethan's with ghostly Willow and Xander, 'Solder Guy', with her.
Spike should have left her pass, and gotten about his business without interfering with the transformed Slayer. Or better yet, stayed at home, with Dru.
But, Spike is an idiot.
Buffy felt infinite sadness that at some point, Spike was going to unknot his limbs and straighten his body out from the pretzel shape 'Rommie' had twisted and tied him into.
Ethan should have known better then to antagonize a warship-Spike was an idiot, but Ethan Rayne was just stupid.
'Rommie' shoved one of Ethan's own socks into his mouth, then proceeded to systematically break his bones-Fingers, toes, wrists, ankles; 'Rommie' moved up Ethan's body, breaking his arms and legs. She twisted both knees, dislocated his shoulders, broke his collarbone and was starting on his ribs when 'Rommie' removed Ethan's gag. Between screams, and piteous whimpers and moans, Ethan told her to smash Janus's bust. Fine, 'Rommie' followed instruction and smashed Janus's bust into shards.
The results were instantaneous-Xander reverted back to Xander, waving his plastic toy rifle around. Willow disappeared, but later showed up solid and well. The rampaging little monsters turned into crying children. Buffy and Xander rounded up as many of the children as they could, but sadly, and with rage directed at Ethan Raynes, they knew a number of those babies were never going to come home again.
No pity or remorse, for what 'Rommie' did to Ethan, Buffy thought savagely. He earned it. Too many people dead, too many injured, and too many maimed.
Buffy sighed and got up from her chair and walked towards the door. Mom had gone out of town for her party and had promised to come home sometime in the morning. Buffy had time to get to Miller's Woods and check out something-Yeah, everyone had reverted back to themselves, but how come she could still feel her ship body up in orbit? MILLER'S WOODS:
There, in a tiny glade within Miller's Woods, was the dropship Buffy knew was waiting for her. She stared in numb horror at it for a long while, and then Buffy raised up her head, and glared up at the starlit night sky. "You had to go and get funny ideas, didn't you!" Buffy yelled.
She approached the dropship and it immediately opened for her. Biffy climbed inside and claimed the pilot seat, securing herself in it; behind her, Buffy heard the door closing. Lift off was immediate, the inertia dampeners protecting the ship's occupants from feeling and being affected by the sudden acceleration and turns the dropship made. Buffy's hands never touched the familiar controls-A slight nudge of her will was all the control it needed. Her 'other' self was on the other side of the moon. And when Buffy saw the magnificent vessel, a gasp escaped her. Yeah, Buffy could remembered countless approaches where she saw the same thing-But they were 'Rommie's' memories, not hers. Seeing the Andromeda for the first time, overwhelmed Buffy with awe. And took down, a little, that idea and feeling the PTBs had screwed her over again.
Upon arriving inside the ship, Buffy left the dropship, and walked out onto the hanger floor. She examined the odd, but not particularly disorienting, sensation of walking about on two legs, and simultaneously floating around in open space. Buffy traveled to the medical deck-She was determined to find out if she was still fully human, or an android, or whatever!
An hour later in the command deck, Buffy sat in the captain's chair, mulling over the medical exam's result-She was still human. One hundred percent Human, with no extra additives or preservatives. So, why was she a damn ship?!
She had to go back down to Earth. Talk to Giles, talk to the Scoobies. See if anyone had any ideas why Ethan's damn chaos spell had gone wonky on her. Besides, Buffy thought, beginning to brighten, aside from that little 'oopsie' owning her own starship may not be such a bad thing! And skipped down to the hanger deck.
The dropship returned back to the glade. Buffy concerned with the superstrong, sticky tentacles of Sunnydale's demonic population, decided to sent the dropship up to the ship and call one down when she need it.
A few hours later, Giles, Willow, and Xander, stood frozen still, staring at the dropship with open mouths.
Buffy looked at them, nodded in sympathy and said to them, "If you think this is eye popping wait until you see what's up there!"
Giles pulled himself out of the stare long enough to say-"Yes, well, Buffy I think we should be extremely cautious-."
Two high-pitched, delighted squeals interrupted him. Xander and Willow raced to the dropship's open entrance and dove in! "Oh's!" and "Ah's!" floated out the open doorway. Buffy shrugged helplessly at Giles and turned around and sprinted for the dropship door. A moment later, she was inside leaving Giles standing and shaking his head, before following at a slower pace.
Buffy warned them. But Willow was still unprepared-When she first saw the Andromeda Ascendant, Willow heart skipped a beat, then she forgot to breath. She corrected the oversight by panting, and drooling. Willow could feel her heart beating hard and fast against her chest. In the seat, next to her, Xander was a making a funny, sucky, noise-"Hehee-ha! Hehee-ha! Hehee-ha!".
Too soon, they were in the hanger deck. But that was cool, too, Willow judged dreamily, standing on the hanger floor, staring at all the ships parked inside it.
Xander was having spasms-Everywhere he turned he saw . . .Technology. The maintenance android shuffling past them was the final straw. Buffy grabbed him by the collar and dragged his spastic body to the medical deck for a quick check up and a light sedative.
Giles stood, staring like a godsmacked fish. Then he snorted and regained something of his composure-Well, of course . . .This was Buffy after all. He followed his children out the hanger.
With Xander sedated and the rest somewhat under control, Buffy took them up to the command deck.
"What can I say, Buffy?" A distracted Giles ran a hand through his graying hair. "Ethan was playing with serious magics. His Power, in this latest prank
of his, was borrowed from the god of Changes and Beginnings. When you smashed the bust, everyone and everything should have returned to their original state."
"But I didn't. Not entirely anyway," said Buffy, rolling her eyes.
"No, no you didn't," Giles agreed. And wondered, briefly, how he was going to get any of them away from their newest toy. He realized that was not going to happen-At least, not for a very long time, if ever! He suddenly wanted to grin. Of course, he felt the same way!
Abruptly, Buffy stiffened and she frowned.
"Buffy? Buffy? What is it?" Willow called out nervously.
"We're getting a call-From Earth!" Buffy cocked her head as if listening for something. Her eyes widened and she said incredulously, "Guys . . .you're so not going to believe this! We're getting hailed-By Andrew Wells! Here listen to this!"
"Um, alien vessel? This is Earth. Um, ah, actually it's just me, Andrew Wells, from Sunnydale, California. That's on Earth! I'll like to say, from my species to yours, ah, hi! And welcome to Earth! Ah, um, just don't going eating anyone, or blowing things up, okay?"
For a brief time, everyone aboard the Andromeda Ascendant was godsmacked into silence. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sorry, next chapter, sometime in the future.
Okay, goodbye and thanks for giving me your time and reading this story!