==============================Barrel of Space Monkeys
Started: July 1, 2009
Completed: July 6, 2009
Crossover:NGE x TM: GXP x BTVS x SG: SG-1
I don’t own Neon Genesis Evangelion, Tenchi Muyo, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Stargate. I don’t own Hayate Combat Butler or Black Lagoon. They are the property of their creators and companies. This is a work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. No profit or offence intended. I don’t claim anything.
A young boy walks down the streets of Tokyo-3, his mind filled with horrific images. Images that only occurred a few hours ago. The boy wishes he was normal boy living in a normal world, but this world is under attack from giant creatures known as Angels, while Shinji is the pilot of a giant robot.
His friends think piloting giant robots like in anime would be cool. What they don’t think about is real live problems and facts that mess with what they see in those shows. Eva-01 isn’t an unfeeling mechanoid that is easily repaired, it’s a biological entity that bleeds, feels pain, and may have a personality. Shinji saw the machine’s savage nature when it destroyed Eva-03. Most Super Robot shows have a teenage mecha pilot and a long-absent father who designed the mecha. What they don’t show is how traumatic it would be for a real teen to fight in a giant robot — and what kind of father would be long-absent to design the robot. Shinji’s father didn’t call him back because he had an unwavering belief that Shinji would be a hero, Gendo brought Shinji back because he had a use for him.
A few hours ago, he used him. While testing his Unit-01 with the other pilots, Eva-03 broke free of its restraints and destroyed a large section of the testing facility. The microscopic 13th angel Bardiel infected the unit during its transport and took it as its new body, leaving the pilot its helpless prisoner. Shinji refused to kill the other pilot even at the cost of his own life, but Commander Gendo Ikari activated something called the Dummy Plug. While he was helpless in the pilot seat, Unit 01 became a savage, murderous monster that attacked Unit 03 without remorse and inhibitions. He watched as the Evangelion snapped the 03's neck, then tore off the limbs. The machine titan like an ancient god of war and bloodshed tore its brother apart, staining the buildings with crimson and making the river flow red with blood. Shinji watched as what was once his hand held the entry plug that contained the innocent pilot and violently crushed it. Then he learned from his parental figure that the pilot was his best friend Toji Suzuhara.
Shinji has been filled with sadness and depression for hours after he quit NERV and took off. Now, he feels a different emotion burning in his chest. It’s like a match dropped into a giant lake of gasoline, an intense consuming rage that flows through Shinji’s mind and body.
It’s a pain worse than the spike of 3rd Angel Sachiel, Angel of Water or the cuts of the ribbons of the 4th Angel Shamshel, Angel of the Morning. Worse that the fiery beam of the 5th Angel Ramiel, Angel of Thunder. Worse than the mouth of 5th Angel Gaghiel, Angel of Fish, or the fists of the 7th Angel Israfel, twin Angels of Poetry, Music and Dance. It’s a deep darkness that consumes him like 12th Angel Leliel, Angel of the Night, casting his world onto a hidden path.
“I wanted you to love me. I wanted your approval, father! Instead, you used me to attack my friend!! You’re always using me!! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU, FATHER!! I WISH YOU WEREN’T MY FATHER!! “
“Is that your true wish?”
Shinji looks up at the voice and finds the world has stopped; everything is silent, unmoving, and grayscale. He also notices there is a young man standing behind him.
The man stands six feet tall with a lean muscular build and a bishonen face. He has blue-green eyes that glow with an inner light, flawless dark tan skin, and shoulder-length snow white hair. He also has odd blue markings on his face, a strange eight-pointed star on his forehead, a tear under one eye and a slash under the other. He’s dressed in a black leather cat-suit that looks as tight as the Plug suits wore by the Pilots with a round blue-green stone on the chest, but he also wears a flowing white robe with gold and silver bracelets. The bracelets resemble vines woven together and there are gold studs in his ears. The jewelry is very decorative with leaf designs.
“Who are you?”
“I am known as the God of Dimensions to some, but what is more important is your wish. Do you wish that Gendo Rokubungi wasn’t your father?”
Shinji pauses then feels his anger grow again. Father took his mother’s last name and when she died, he threw him away. He destroyed his mother’s memory and for a brief moment, he remembers his mother’s last moments of life.
“Yes! I wish Gendo wasn’t my father!”
The entire world explodes into light and color, as the symbols on the God of Dimensions’ forehead glow as bright as the sun. Shinji has the strange sensation of leaving his body, then everything goes dark.
Room 4, GP Ship Yamada. 2015
Shinji Ikari wakes up in a small room to an unfamiliar ceiling. He slowly gets up and finds travel bags containing clothing and other things next to him. He notices that the name tag reads Shinji Ikari and opens it. Inside he finds a few things that look familiar, but most of the items don’t. What shocks him the most is a small collection of photos developed at a Tokyo shop. One of the first pictures is a beach scene with Shinji sitting next to his mother on the beach looking wet from the waves. The second is a picture of his mother in a formal kimono and Shinji notices that she looks like an older Rei with brown hair.
Suddenly, the door opens and a man with pointed ears and a blue/white uniform walks in with two other boys around his age. Both boys are tall for their apparent age and both look confused. One boy has hazel eyes and dark brown hair, while the other has blue eyes and light brown hair with glasses.
“Galaxy Police Transport Ship Seina?” asks the boy with glasses.
“The ship is named after Seina Yamada who joined the GP 20 years ago,” says the officer. “He was some Earthling that accidently got recruitment papers from a GP Officer. Normally, the Galaxy Police doesn’t accept people from an undeveloped world, but Seina’s insane bad luck allowed him to attract space pirates, leading to the largest arrests in history. He’s currently married to nine women and third in line to the throne of Jurai after Prince Yosho and his grandson Tenchi Masaki.”
“They were political marriages, but he knew and loved five of them before their marriage. Prince Tenchi married seven women including the two royal princesses. Things have calmed down since both of them managed to get most of their wives pregnant,” says the officer. “I have to go now. Why don’t you three get to know each other?”
There is a pause, then the introductions begin.
“Alexander Harris. People call me Xander.”
“So, how did you end up here?” asks Xander.
Shinji is about to answer when memories begin to flood his mind. In seconds he gains the fifteen years of a Shinji Ikari that didn’t grow up in the world of the Second Impact
~ Flashback ~ 1 Week Ago.
Shinji Ikari is riding his bike to pick up a package at the train station for his mother.
Shinji’s mother Yui Ikari is a famous brilliant scientist nicknamed Japan’s Treasure. It causes a lot of pressure at school because people expect him to be a genius. Instead, he’s an average student with no major talents beyond some music ability and the computer skills he’s learned from his mother since birth.
Shinji’s father is unknown. Over fifteen years ago, there was an explosion which people believed to a meteorite exploding in the air. During those flames, his mother said she encountered a heroic young man who saved her life. They spent a couple of months together, until he was forced to leave. He left behind a pregnant genius who gave birth to an average child.
The only thing Shinji has of his father is a necklace he gave his mother along with a ring. His mother never removes the odd gold ring, which resembles tiny gold vines holding a flower, which holds a white gemstone. The necklace is a simple gold chain with a pendant composed of gold leaves holding a black stone.
Shinji learns that the package is late and won’t be in until tomorrow, so he decides to head on home.
Suddenly, there is a whistling sound followed by a loud explosion that knocks him off his bike.
“You’re under arrest Tatsuki! Drop your weapons and surrender....What!?”
A door opens in the air, revealing the interior of a large cloaked vehicle and a young woman with brown eyes and long dark purple hair walks out of craft. She’s wearing wrap-around sunglasses and a red/black uniform and is holding a handgun at Shinji. Shinji is more than a little scared and holds himself as still as possible.
“Scan. No holographic cloak. No surgery. Age: fourteen!?” says the woman, before putting her gun back in her holster and taking off her glasses. “Damn it!”
“Oh. GP Detective. Misato Katsuragi,” says the woman, looking embarrassed. “My Nav-com was damaged during an encounter and my escape, so I went to this world hoping for repairs. I detected a signal that matched the S-Class Space Pirate Masaru “Dragon” Tatsuki and thought this was my big chance. Instead, I’ll be paying repair bills and I still have ten payments to go!”
“Do you need any help?” asks Shinji, as his shock slowly flows away. He notices she’s pulled a can of something out and is drinking it. He also notices that the inside of her ship is a mess, littered with aluminum cans, pieces of paper, and wrappers from various food items. There’s even a small overworked robot cleaning up the trash.
“Not unless you know where I can find the nearest space vehicle repair shop?” says Misato.
“I don’t think so...What’s this??” says Shinji, as he picks up what looks like a piece of plastic off the ground. It turns out to be a flat computer version of a magazine and the front page shows a nervous young man surrounded by eight women and what looks like a cross between a rabbit and a cat. There is also a smaller picture of another young man surrounded by six beautiful women, all dressed in wedding clothing.
“It’s just a magazine,” says Misato, blushing and not mentioning it’s a bridal magazine. “Twenty years ago, Seina Yamada, third to the Jurai Throne, married four women and ended up married to four more. Then the second in line, Prince Tenchi Masaki, married six women including the two crown princesses. I heard they later married two more girls.”
“Seina Yamada. I have relatives in Okayama and they mentioned a Seina Yamada,” says Shinji, remembering stories of the legendary bad luck charm and how his family became rich after he joined a foreign police force. It’s a famous urban legend. “The unluckiest man in the universe?”
“That’s him! Chairwoman Airi Magma Masaki used that talent to turn him to the Galaxy’s greatest pirate catcher,” says Misato as she tosses the can back into the space ship. “Even the worst talents can find a place in the GP.”
“Wish I had a talent,” says Shinji, then looks at the wedding photo of Tenchi Masaki, especially at a tall woman with gold eyes and long spiky teal hair He remembers another legend from Okayama, one of many his mother told him. “Ryoko. The Demon of the Masaki Shrine!?”
“That’s a title I haven’t heard. Where is the Masaki Shrine?” asks Misato, as she “acquires” a paper map from a newspaper stand near the Train Station.
“Okayama,” says Shinji, as he walks over to Misato and points out the location on the map.
“Then I should be able to get help there. Thanks kid,” says Misato. “Why don’t I give you a ride home.”
Misato then proves why you shouldn’t drink a vehicle drunk, especially a space ship. Of course her being sober wouldn’t make much of difference as she always drives like a maniac.
Shinji walks into his house holding a brochure and wondering if what he experienced was real. The woman seemed human and there where all those references to urban legends and mythology. Wouldn’t extraterrestrials be more alien, like giant insects or octopuses, instead of human aliens like from the American series Star Trek?
Shinji looks up and winces when he sees his nosey neighbor coming towards him. The man is tall and very thin with a narrow rat-like face, dark brown eyes with dark rings, pale skin, and short balding hair. He’s currently dressed in a cheap white shirt, black pants, and cheap sandals.
“Hello, Mr. Ayasaki. How was your day?”
“Great! I only lost 5000 Yen!”
Probably all the money you had on you, thinks Shinji. Mr. Ayasaki is a compulsive gambler of the worst sort. He'd rather play the Pachinko machines than eat and has stolen money from everyone he knows. He has no power or electricity in his house, and the only reason he still has a home is because he blackmailed the banker. He also remembers a relative of Mr. Ayasaki and his wife being even worse gamblers. They forced their son to earn all the money, stole his savings, then left him to be organ harvested by the Yakuza. The boy managed to survive as a rich girl’s butler. He has no doubt that Mr. Ayasaki would do the same if he had a family.
“Is that a brochure??” says the man snatching it out of Shinji’s hand. “Expensive looking place. Some sort of amusement park, maybe you’ll win a prize!”
“Hey! Wait!” says Shinji, before the thin man uses his surprising strength to press Shinji’s thumb into the form after filling in the information. Any contest Mr. Ayasaki is too old for, he signs Shinji Ikari up for, hoping that if Shinji wins he can con the money out of him.
“Don’t forget to send it in!” says Ayasaki, as he runs off with Shinji’s pocket change of 500 yen.
“Hi Shinji,” says Yui from behind her laptop. “Did the package come in today?”
“It’s going to be in tomorrow.”
“Shinji what’s wrong, you look stressed.” says Yui, getting up from her computer.
“I had a weird day,” says Shinji. “What would you say if I told you I saw a space ship and an alien who mistook me for a space pirate?”
Shinji notices his mother has gone pale.
“Masaru??” says Shinji, then remembers what Misato said. “Masaru "Dragon" Tatsuki?”
“I have something to tell you Shinji. It goes back to the Impact.”
The Impact refers to the event that occurred over fifteen years ago. A shower of meteorites impacted and exploded above Antarctica. His mother was part of an expedition that witnessed the light show and brought back some of the most spectacular photographs. Yui “Snow Princess” Ikari was famous for going missing for months, the returning completely unharmed.
Shinji’s mother got separated from her group and found a man buried in the ice and snow. She managed to get him inside her emergency tent and when he awoke he managed to heal himself. He introduced himself as Masaru Tatsuki and revealed he was from another world. His ship was badly damaged and he was forced to land on the ice during the meteor shower. Yui goes on to say it was like living a sci-fi romance, as they talked about what they liked and hated, the science and technology of other races, the unique culture of Earth. After two months together, surviving on his ship’s rations and doing repairs, he was forced to leave when he detected a ship coming for him. He left after leading her back to her group and he never knew she was pregnant.
“He showed me so much of his world’s science and technology. That’s what I have been recreating over the years. I’m hoping that if Earth’s technology advances enough, I can see your father’s world.”
Shinji nods his head, then faints.
Command, GP Ship Yamada. 2015
“Sir! Hyperspace distortion detected.”
The Captain is a dark skinned man resembling an Indian with pointed ears, while his three officers seem to be Caucasians. One has red hair and green eyes, another has black hair and black eyes, and the third has green hair and yellow eyes.
On the view screen, a massive ship resembling a hi-tech aircraft carrier in red and black emerges from the light of hyperspace. It’s a massive ship over three hundred and fifty meters in length with thick armor and many guns and missile launchers. There are also four spikes in the front surrounding a dome-shaped black unit. As it completely exits, it releases a purple blast of energy from its front that strikes the shields of the GP Carrier. The shields glow bright before arcs of energy discharge into the ship and lightning crawls across its surface.
“It’s some sort of energy wave damaging all shields and systems. Oh my god! It’s the Bao Disrupter!”
The crew pales at the proclamation.
Bao is the name an S-Class Space Pirate known for his blood thirst and love of destruction. He never leaves the crew of any ship he attacks alive and targets Galaxy Police ships. He would have been caught by Seina Yamada, but the famous GP hero is spending most of his time with his personal problems. The Bao Disrupter is a weapon developed by the pirate as an insult to Devil Princess Lady Seto, who possesses the Triple Z which literally causes all enemies (pirates) to stop in their tracks. Its effect is similar to a nuclear-level electromagnetic pulse to unshielded and fully powered Earth electronics.
“Shields are down to 25%...10%...Shields are down!” yells Officer number one.
“Weapons offline. Drones detected on Deck 7,” says Officer number two. “They’re attempting to take over.”
“Lock out life support. Run the Drone Cleaner,” says the Captain. “Flood Deck 7 with sealing polymer.”
“Life Support isolated with quantum encryption. Deck flood at 20% and drone activity is down to 15%.”
“Sir. Hull breached. Borders detected,” says Officer number one.
“Then I woke up here.”
Xander goes next. The level of shielding and sound-proofing has made it impossible for a guest to hear the activity outside the room with the intercom system down.
“My full name is Alexander Lavelle Harris, but I’ve been called Xander since I was a child and never call me Lavelle. I was born in California and lived in a small town called Sunnydale most of my life. It wasn’t until high school that I learned Sunnydale wasn’t a normal, boring town.”
Xander tells the other two of his bizarre life after he learned that his town rested on Boca de Inferno, the Hellmouth. How he encountered the Vampire Slayer Buffy Summers and her Watcher Rupert Giles. How he and his best friend Willow Rosenburg helped her and how he was forced to stake his brother in all but blood Jesse when he was transformed into a vampire.
He went through many bizarre adventures after that first battle. He was possessed by a primal hyena sprit during a trip to the zoo, possessed by the spirit of a soldier during Halloween, nearly transformed into a fish creature by the swim coach, and was twice the servant of Dracula.
He has been called a "demon magnet," as many of the women he has dated or been attracted to have turned out to be demonic or in some other way supernatural. Best friend Willow Rosenburg became the most powerful witch in the world, Buffy Summers was the longest living vampire slayer, rich bitch girlfriend Cordelia Chase became a demonic seer, slayer Faith Lehane took his virginity and nearly his life when she turned evil, Anya Jenkins was a former Vengeance Demon named Anyanka and died protecting her friends, and he scattered the ashes of his slayer girlfriend Renee. The remainder of the women in Xander’s life were demons that wanted to mate with and/or kill him.
Shinji and Daniel are amazed that the everyday-man managed to help save the world. Xander didn’t have any major powers or abilities, but managed to avert the apocalypses with luck and heart. He forced Angel to take him to the Master’s lair to rescue Buffy. He protected his girls during Halloween and then used the soldier knowledge to take out an apocalyptic demon known as the Judge. He prevented a zombie-made bomb from detonating and rupturing the Hellmouth and he helped set up the explosives that destroyed the Mayor’s true demon form of Olvikan. It was his idea and heart that powered the spell that allowed Buffy to destroy the cybernetic demon-human hybrid Adam. He was there to stop Willow from destroying the world after she was consumed by grief and black magic.
Xander doesn’t seem to notice the looks he’s getting. He’s only surprised that they believe the weird stuff coming from his mouth considering he appears to be in a sci-fi world and they are more skeptical about the supernatural than the modern settings.
Flashback - The End of Magic
It was the Final Battle. The demons and dark magic users fought against the slayers and thier allies to end the battle once and for all. There were millions of demons ranging from different colored humanoids to massive inhuman monstrosities. The dark magic users were twisted creatures born from their own lust for power. They tore open the gates of hell and forced them open beyond their limits, trying to turn the world into the realm of the demons as it was in prehistory. Even several of the Old Ones awoke trying to ensure the recreation of their hell.
The slayers fought and died, but they forced the demons back into the Gate. They killed the demons, the demon lords, and the hell gods. They killed the Old Ones and banished their immortal spirits into the depths of the abyss. They even killed members of the Powers That Be that wished to prevent the end of their power and balancing game. The slayers fought until those that stood against them were slain and their friends fought alongside them.
Then it happened. The final slayer took into her body the magic and essence of the other slayers and pushed the corporeal evil into the gate causing it to collapse. The collapse drew magic from the world and sealed the dimensions. The demons were forced into other dimensions or died when a magic-less reality not longer allowed them to exist. All vampires turned to ashes in the wind and all werewolves found themselves cured. The powers of the slayers faded to nothing and the witches became mere mortals. A million prophecies and destinies ceased to exist, as the world was given a new future.
It was during that battle that one man made a mistake. As his slayer faded into the depths of the Gate pulled by the demons and his witch entered an immortal sleep, Xander fell from a collapsing cliff and struck the fading distortion in dimensions. He ceased to exist in his native reality and without magic he was gone for good.
He tumbled through the numbing infinite darkness between dimensions for what felt like a thousand years, then found himself in a fiery hell being tortured by demons unlike the creatures he encountered on Earth. They tortured his mind with illusions that mixed memories with demon malice.
“I wish Anthony Harris wasn’t my father.”
Xander said seven words while they tortured him with images of his bigoted abusive drunk of a father and of him becoming like him. Those seven words set him free of a hell he never deserved and he found himself in a new life.
A couple of weeks ago.
Xander awoke in a medical wing of a large building. It turned out the building was a hotel in the Thailand city of Roanapur and he was in the body of a younger analogue. He also awoke to a headache as memories of a different life flooded his mind.
This version, named Alexander Lavelle was the son of Jessica Lavelle and a man she met a bar sixteen years ago. The man had the name Harris and was a one night stand. She raised him as a single mother until she managed to seduce an older businessman named Howard. Mr. Howard turned out to a criminal arms dealer, who was forced to escape America to the criminal city in Asia, where he was later gunned down by a rival businessman’s organized crime connections. That left Xander and Jessica stranded in a city of prostitutes, drug lords, mafia dons, and other villains, where illegal activity is the norm.
Jessica didn’t last long in Roanapur. She spent her time at a local bar with one man or another, until one shootout turned out to be her last. Three bullets pierced her chest and she died before she hit the ground. Xander was left in the care of a former Spetsnaz - a Russian special forces soldier.
Xander grew up to become a cunning street soldier / mercenary on the streets of Roanapur earning the respect of Balalaika, the boss of Hotel Moscow. Hotel Moscow is a branch of the Russian mafia based on Thai soil and is composed of the men who served under Balalaika in the Soviet war in Afghanistan and are dedicated to her. He even learned the martial art Systema from a (former) Spetsnaz. He also learned how to use their weapons like the Saiga Shotgun, Ballistic Knife, AK74 Carbine, Makarov Pistol, and Dragunov Rifle.
Xander turns to see a tall woman, standing roughly 5'10" with a strong build. She's wide in the shoulders and hips and well-endowed, with blue eyes and thick wavy blonde hair that would fall past her waist if she didn't keep it tied up. She’s dressed in low-cut business suit and wears an old uniform jacket as an overcoat. Her only flaws are burn scars that cover the right side of her face and her upper body
“It’s good to see you are fine, Alexander.”
“Other than a pounding headache. What happened?”
“What do you remember?”
“I was with the Lagoon Company. I promised I would help with a little piracy since I embarrassed Revy last month.”
“What did you do?” says Balalaika, looking curious what could embarrass that girl.
“I tattooed ‘Revy’s Rock’ on Rock’s back at the waistline while he was unconscious.”
Balalaika almost laughs, but she has an image to maintain.
“It was supposed to be some piece of technology. The crazy rumor was that it was a piece of technology from a downed alien space ship that fell during Impact. We managed to steal it from the soldiers and scientists, sinking the ship in the process, but there was a bright light on the way back.”
“It turns out the rumor was valid. An officer of an alien government was sent to retrieve the hardware and managed to stun the entire Lagoon crew. There was a problem when the agent did a DNA scan on the crew to determine if there were aliens in the group.”
“What kind of problem?”
A menacing man in his late thirties or early forties walks in. He stands over six feet tall with green eyes, dark skin and curly black hair. He also has pointed ears, yellow sclera, small fangs, and spots on the sides of his face like those of an animal. He’s dressed in a dark blue uniform with a black overcoat.
“My name is Captain Zan Haris. Galaxy Police,” says Zan, with a deep voice that indicates anger. “I came to this mud ball to retrieve technology and maybe find clue about Space Pirate Tatsuki. Instead, I find out my worthless brother Sho mated with one of the primitives and had a bastard child! Not only that, but that same boy was working as a primitive pirate!”
“I guess this isn’t a happy reunion, Uncle?”
“No, it isn’t! If a couple of Earthlings hadn’t proven their strength and you weren’t trained as a soldier, I would have you killed, you disgrace. Law or no law!” says Zan. “Instead, you’re going to join the Galaxy Police and restore some honor.”
“I have a couple of questions,” says Xander, recovering quickly from his uncle’s remarks. “Why didn’t you abduct me? I mean that would easier if my only other option was vacuum.”
“True. Before I stunned her the red haired woman managed to cause more damage in ten minutes than space pirates have done in ten years. I was forced to accept Lady Balalaika’s help.”
“That sounds like Revy,” says Xander. “You must have made a deal with Balalaika. What’s the deal?”
“He gave us several times what we would have gotten for the technology and the Lagoon Company has been paid in full plus a bonus,” says Balalaika. “In return, he wants you to attend the Academy and serve for one year after graduation. If you want you may remain an officer, if not you may return to Hotel Moscow.”
“If that is what you want, Balalaika, I’ll do as you wish.”
You don’t argue with Balalaika, Bitch Queen of Roanapur.
GP Ship Yamada
In another part of the ship, the wall glows white before disintegrating. It disappears to reveal a passage going from the Yamada to the inside of the pirate ship. Seconds later over a hundred space pirates enter the Yamada.
Each pirate is dressed in a sleeveless black armored jumpsuit with black gloves, boots, and a black and silver helmet that covers the entire head. Their arms are nearly bare to allow them to manipulate either the large black energy rifles they carry in their hands, the small blasters strapped to their right wrists, the hand gun-like weapons on his waists, or the high frequency swords/knives strapped to their legs.
The soldier pirates move down the corridors with military-level training, killing any person they encounter. They don’t just kill the Galaxy Police officers; they also kill cleaning staff and passengers without remorse. They are also smart as they release bursts of blue-green energy that expand to fill the entire corridor, revealing any officers using stealth technology so the group can concentrate their fire.
One Galaxy Policeman manages to blast the arm of one lone pirate soldier, but the now one armed man doesn’t show any form of pain and in a burst of speed, cuts the officer’s head clean off with his vibration blade. The pirate soldier then calmly walks over to his severed arm, moves the blaster arm band to his waist and picks up the energy rifle. He checks the rifle for damage, the calmly goes back to hunting.
“I guess if everyone is revealing everything I should too,” says Daniel. “In my world, I was known as Dr. Daniel Jackson, Ph.D.”
He explains how he was once a discredited archeologist. He theorized that the Great Pyramids were not created by the Ancient Egyptians, but another civilization and other scientists thought he was a nut who believed the pyramids were ancient landing pads for aliens.
When he was reaching the lowest point in his career he was contacted by the United States government about translating symbols. It turned out that the symbols were star coordinates used as the dialing system for a device known as a Stargate. The Stargate was ancient alien machine that created artificial worm holes going from Earth to a planet known as Abydos.
On that planet he discovered a people descended from Ancient Egyptians, fell in love with a native named Sha’re, and helped a group of soldiers lead by Jack O’Neil to destroy the alien tyrant Ra who had enslaved the people of Abydos, once enslaved Earth, and tried to destroy the Earth. Dr. Jackson was willing to spend the rest of his life with Sha’re, but then another Goa'uld system lord named Apophis appeared and kidnapped Sha’re. For then on, Dr. Jackson became part of SG-1, a team sent through the Stargate network looking for his family, making alliances, and looking for technology to fight alien threats. He has been on SG-1 since its inception, except when he left after the death of his wife, Sha're, and when he was ascended for a year and Jonas Quinn took his place
As Daniel talks about some of his adventures, Shinji and Xander quickly come to some conclusions.
Dr. Daniel Jackson, Ph.D has several times displayed that he is an individual of great integrity, often passionately arguing against morally unsound plans. He tends to be very respectful of alien cultures, except when their culture involves immoral practices, and he often approaches the unknown with an almost childlike sense of awe. However, he seems to have a hard time accepting no-win scenarios.
The Death of Dr. Jackson, Again.
Dr. Jackson runs through the depths of alien ship. He has been a part of many battles with various enemies.
First it was the psychopathic megalomaniac parasitic Gao’uld, who wanted to enslave the universe, condemning all humans to be servants and hosts. One by one, each system lord was destroyed from Ra, Apophis, and Sokar to the semi-ascended Anubis and clever Ba’al.
The Replicators were the toys of an alien android named Reese that wiped out her civilization when she told them to multiply. These mechanical bugs almost wiped out the alien race known as the Asgard in their quest to replicate and acquire new technology. In the end it was a combination of human determination and Ancient technology that wiped them from the galaxy.
The Ori were a branch of the Alterans, the same race that created the Stargates and most of the advanced technology in multiple galaxies. When they ascended they learned they could gain more power from worshipers and set themselves up as the gods of a religion they spread by force to other worlds. When they came to convert the Milky Way galaxy, they encountered resistance. The discovery of an ancient weapon allowed them to destroy the Ori, while the last Ori Adria was locked in an eternal battle.
The last threat was the Wraith, enemies of a group of Ancients known as Lanteans. After plague nearly destroyed their people in the Milky Way, the survivors traveled to the Pegasus Galaxy using their space ship/city Atlantis and settled on the planet Lantea. During their travels they encountered the Eratus Bug, a life energy consuming insect that rapidly evolved into the humanoid energy vampires known as the Wraith. The Lanteans were winning the war, until the Wraith managed to acquire several cloning ships and increased their numbers by massive amounts. The invasion of the Milky Way by the super Wraith ship was the last invasion which was stopped by the Stargate teams.
Now, a seriously wounded Dr. Jackson is racing to stop one insane alien scientist. The elderly scientist, dying of sickness and old age, was desperate to find immortality and managed to capture a surviving Wraith. He used his advanced knowledge of genetics to fuse his body cells with the Wraith DNA. This caused a metamorphosis that transformed him into a creature with the ability to drain the life of others, regenerating cell damage and increasing his life span. In his mutation-caused madness, he constructed a weapon that would allow him to harvest the life energy of an entire planet and store it in a chamber. There are no larger human populations than on Earth, so it became a target. Dr. Jackson was able to get on board the ship, while the rest of the team was fighting robotic drones.
He managed to survive lethal force field traps, heavily armed drones, and decompressed decks of the weapon ship, depleting his ammunition and explosives in the process.
He finally finds the pillar like core of the ship, a hundred meters in height and forty meters in radius. There is a monitor that shows a less than three minute countdown to Earth’s destruction. He’s not foolish enough to charge at the machine and uses the tip of his empty rifle. The barrel passes through an energy shield, making it visible as translucent blue light. It also causes the tip of the gun to glow red and disintegrate into dust.
“All this way for nothing.”
Daniel turns to see Dr. Wraith. He’s a tall, thin man with red-black eyes, shiny white skin, and long frost white hair. He also has ridges, fangs, and odd orifices on the palms of the hands. He’s dressed in a black leathery outfit that makes Dr. Jackson think of a cross between an insect’s exoskeleton and S&M bondage gear.
“The core is protected by a special force field that destroys all organic matter; even your human weapons are vulnerable because of the carbon content. It also absorbs all energy attacks no matter the strength and stops high velocity projectiles. It’s an experimental Alteran design,” says Dr. Wraith, making Dr. Jackson wonder why the bad guys have to give cliché egotistical speeches,.“You will not even be able to touch it.”
Dr. Jackson reaches into his pocket and pulls out a rock. He holds it in his fingers revealing it to be a piece of the super heavy element Naqahdah - the main material used in Ancient and Goa’uld technology. It’s also blood stained and cracked.
“What is that?”
“When you tried to kill SG-1 at that Naqahdah mine, this ended up in my shoulder.” says Dr. Jackson as he tears a strip of cloth from his clothing.
Dr. Wraith charges at Dr. Jackson with his life-sucking hands forward, but Daniel catches the hands with the strip of torn fabric. He yanks the hybrid forward and uses the creature’s momentum to throw it into the shield. As the creature passes through the shield, its clothing and flesh turn into particles of ash, then the smoking bones shatter into dust before they can hit the ground.
“Self-defense. It works,” says Daniel, as he places the chunk of Naqahdah in the loop of cloth creating a sling. He faces the machine like David vs. Goliath, swing his sling. The heavy, but low velocity chunk of metal pieces the field, its energies burning away the blood stains, before smashing through the containment unit. There is a small explosion, followed by hundreds of smaller explosions across the machine’s immense surface, then the entire machine detonates in a nuclear-level blast that consumes the entire ship.
A couple of weeks ago.
Dr. Jackson finds himself falling through a white tunnel similar to the Stargate, then appearing in the air above a machine. As he falls, he hits parts of the machine getting several deep cuts and burns, before he is impaled and electrocuted. As the world around him fades, he sees a couple of young women in lab coats. One has dark green eyes and wavy lime green hair, the other has gold eyes, dark tan skin, and dark red hair. The first has pointed ears, while the second has a red gemstone in the center of her brow.
One week ago.
Dr. Jackson wakes up to find himself in a new, but familiar place. He recognizes the place as a hospital, though he doesn’t know what planet. He feels his body move and while it does feel odd, there isn’t any pain.
“You’re awake! That’s great.”
Dr. Jackson turns to see a young woman with dark skin and long blonde hair dressed in a doctor’s uniform.
“Hello. I’m Doctor Kuramitsu. Do you remember who you are?”
“Dr. Daniel Jackson.”
“A doctor? You’re so young. What kind of doctor? Physician? Dentist? Veterinarian? A doctoral degree in science? Philosophy?”
“I’m an archaeologist and linguist,” explains Daniel.
“Oh? How many languages??”
“I speak more than twenty languages.”
“That’s wonderful! We lost many ancient relics to space pirates, especially to Kagato, Destroyer of Artifacts. He was so evil and unstoppable until Prince Tenchi sliced him in half! He also sliced the ship in half, but it was his first time using the Wings of Light Hawk.”
Daniel stares at the hyper-active doctor as she babbles.
“Excuse me, but what happened to me?”
“You appeared in a Galaxy Police Science Building. According to the scientists you appeared through a tear in space time from an unknown layer of reality. The trip put severe strain on your body and you landed on a machine they were using for high energy experiments. Deep cuts, punctures, broken bones, ruptured organs, severe electrocution, burns to over ninety percent of your body ... The list of undamaged body parts is far shorter than your injuries list.”
“I feel fine, Dr. Kuramitsu.”
“That’s because of the body enhancement process. The building’s medic was at a medical conference, the heads forgot to get a replacement, and you wouldn’t have survived long enough to get you to hospital,” says Dr. Kuramitsu. “They injected you with the latest in body enhancement nanomachines.”
“Body enhancement??” says Dr. Jackson, as he remembers a few bad experiences. He also notices that he’s younger than he was and his glasses are no longer prescription but light sensitive sunglasses and he can see fine.
“You know, strength, speed, and durability, all done by microscopic machines. They rebuild the body to enhance it so they rebuilt your body. There is a small problem. Since it was Galaxy Police property that was injected into you, it means you will have to join the Academy until all the testing is done.”
“I have a life on Earth.”
“Earth? That’s were Lord Tenchi is from. I’m sure we will be able to help you!”
They were willing to help, but he still had to attend the Academy.
GP Ship Yamada
The door to the room is blown off, falling to the ground as a pirate bursts into the room holding his energy rifle. Xander spins around avoiding the energy blast and grabs the rifle and elbows the armored man in the stomach. He then pulls the weapon and its user off his feet. With a simple looking toss, the pirate is smashed into the wood and glass table, shattering it into a thousand pieces. He then grabs a sharp shard from the floor and rams it into the pirate’s throat. The body twitches, then dies in a pool of blood.
Daniel and Shinji are staring at Xander.
“My home town was dangerous. You won’t believe how many times this has happened.”
Daniel picks up the rifle and fires into the corridor, striking two other pirate-soldiers. The beams causes almost no damage when they strike the armor, but they blast off arms and cause helmets to explode.
“What the fuck is going on??” says Shinji, surprising himself as he’s tossed a handgun-like weapon.
“The enemies of the Galaxy Police are Space Pirates,” says Xander. “I’m guessing these are pirates.”
“We need to get out of here,” says Daniel. “Maybe find a computer terminal.”
Suddenly, Xander and Daniel barely avoid two energy beams and Shinji turns in panic. He fires his weapon and the glowing green plasma bullet pierces the front of the pirate’s helmet and comes out of the back. The corpse twitches then collapses to the ground.
“Nice shot, Shinji. You think they would make better helmets.”
The scared Shinji just stares at the growing pool of blood.
Two pirate-soldiers stand in front of a massive computer system with a destroyed reinforced door behind him. One pirate attaches a rectangular black machine to the console. The machine is thirty centimeters by thirty centimeters, and ten centimeters thick. As the pirate’s finger taps its surface, glowing blue symbols appear. Black tendrils extend from the machine into the computer, causing the monitors to change into scrolling alien computer code. The computerized female voice protests but is unable to stop the invasion.
“Unauthorized Access. Unable to Shut Down Link. Barrier Program at 70%. System Corruption at 30%. Barrier Program at 40%. System Corruption at 45%. Barrier Program at 10%. System Corruption at 60%. Barrier Failure. System Corruption at 100%. Accessing Secured Files.”
Suddenly, both Pirates feel the barrels of guns on the back of their necks. They both still try to turn and attack, but are killed instantly when the triggers are pulled. As the corpses fall, Daniel Jackson runs over to the computer console and begins to type.
“The pirates are trying to steal classified files hidden in the ship’s computer core. Its attack has been slowed by a second barrier program around the files, but it won’t stop it forever.”
“I thought you were an archeologist, not a computer expert.”
“The body enhancement also enhanced my linguist abilities turning me into a universal translator,” says Dr. Jackson, typing at a speed that’s superhuman. “I can read and write any language. That includes computer codes.”
“That’s cool I guess...”
“I’ve created a couple more barriers to slow the enemy’s computer down. While it’s slowed, I’m going to hack into their computer. I wonder what Sam would say if she saw me now or what Jack’s comment would be.”
“I’m going to check the corridor with Shinji? Shinji?”
Xander notices the third member of the group is missing.
“He came from a more normal life. I better look for him.”
Pirate Ship Bao Long
In the depths of the ship, protected by many layers of armor and shielding, Captain Bao’s crew are working at the computer terminals. Unlike the generic soldiers, these people look and are dressed differently.
One man is a giant standing eight feet tall with watery glowing eyes, translucent yellowish skin, and flowing black hair. He also has black lips, white teeth, and slate grey techno-organic cables going from his spine and base of his skull into his computer terminal. He’s also dressed in a black shirt, red bandana, dark leather pants and large boots with metal soles and toecaps.
“New barriers forming around data. Attempting to bypass.”
The second man is elderly with blue eyes, pale skin, a bald head, and a long white beard. He also has an elongated gourd-shaped head with numerous datalink cables going into ports. He also has robotic arms with fingers that move at high speed. He dressed in tan robes with sandals and has numerous electronic devices attached to his waist.
“System Barrier failure. We are being hacked.”
The third is a young, handsome man in his early twenties with pale blue eyes, white skin, and short white-blond hair. He’s dressed in a sleeveless dark red jumpsuit with dark leather boots, a long silver coat, and black gloves.
“Isolating systems. Life Support. Secure. Weapons. Secure,” says Number 3.
“Wait! Unable to access Weapons,” says Number Two.
“Weapons isolated from all access,” says Number One. “Power System secured. Shields secured? Did you secure Shields?”
“Negative.” says Number One and Two.
“Unable to access Shield Control. Program detected. Attempting to breech shield security.”
Suddenly, the hundreds of small screens turn black and are covered in scrolling blue codes and symbols from at least twenty different languages. In the background is a shining 3D golden pyramid slowing spinning on its base.
“I think we are finished,” says Number One. “Virus de-detected. Corruptie. Corruption. Korruption. Corruzione. Corrupção. Corrupción.”
“Fallo del sistema. Falha de sistema Guasto del sistema. Systemfehler. Défaillance du système. System Failure.”
“ Pu Kcab Etaerc ot Elbanu. Atad fo Ssol. Hsarc metsy (computer dial-up sound)”
Rapidly, the synthetic flesh of the three dissolves to reveal their metallic endoskeletons. The three computer androids short out and their cables disconnect with violent, audible snaps. Several panels explode as the charged cables come in contact with them. Finally, the glowing eyes and lights fade, and smoke comes from their mouths and vents under their clothing.
Shinji is running, but he doesn’t know where to. All he can do is remember the splattered blood and a panic in his heart. As he runs down the metal corridor, he hears the sound of footsteps and runs into two men. He stops a couple of meters from them which probably saves his life.
One man stands six foot seven with dark purple eyes, dark skin, and shoulder-length raven-black hair. He also has pointed ears, slash-like markings on his cheeks, a beard and a long scar on the right side of his face which crosses the eye patched eye. He’s dressed in the same dark gray and black uniform as the soldiers.
The other is the man’s son standing six foot with the same eyes and skin, but short silver hair. He has the same pointed ears, but the slash markings on his cheeks are darker and more defined. The younger man also has both eyes and is dressed in a pure black uniform.
“Looks like the men missed one, Captain,” says the younger.
“Yes, son. This one is shaking with fear,” says the Captain as he draws his sword and a dagger in the other hand. “A man would fight to his end or run to help his comrades. A worthless coward deserves the slowest death.”
Shinji cries out as Captain Bao’s blades move so fast they become invisible. Shinji is cut over and over again, more than six hundred times in less than a minute. The cuts aren’t deep yet, instead they cause enough damage to stain his clothing with blood. The gun he was holding is the first thing to the fall to the ground in pieces.
“Why did you become a Cadet?” mocks the Captain as the blades cut deeper. “Are you a fool who does everything you are told without believing in what you do? Are you the puppet of a parent??"
Suddenly, the dagger pierces his chest going all the way through. Captain Bao gives Shinji a glare as he twists the blade. The blade vibrates at extremely high frequency causing more and more damage the longer it’s in the flesh. It also causes the blood coming in contact to become a crimson mist.
“Pathetic. Do you have nothing to protect? Nothing that can give you the strength to fight?? To give me some challenge? Are you the fool who seeks the appreciation of others?”
Suddenly, more memories flow into Shinji’s head. The fight with the 14th Angel, Zeruel, the Angel of Strength, to protect his friends. Dissolving into the LCL in order for Eva-01 to tear the monster apart and devour it. Meeting his mother inside the depths of the Unit and knowing his mother had always been protecting him. Wanting to protect Asuka from the 15th Angel, Arael, the Angel of Birds. Rei Ayanami self-destructing her Eva in order to protect others from the 16th Angel, Armisael, Angel of the Womb. The 17th Angel, Tabris, Angel of Free Will and Alternatives, coming in the form of his friend Kaworu Nagisa and Tabris asking Shinji to destroy him. He remembers the pain of losing everyone, including Misato to gun shots and Asuka to reptilian mass-production Evas. He remembers Instrumentality, the Third Impact and he remembers his choice and Instrumentality failing.
Captain Bao looks down and notices something has changed. Shinji’s body is no longer moving in pain, but it’s not deceased or unconscious. Even though the blood continues to flow down, Shinji Ikari’s head is bowed as if thinking deeply. When his head snaps upward, Bao is shocked to see strength in the boy’s eyes. There is a determination and anger that wasn’t there before, and the fear is gone like morning mist.
Shinji’s fist strikes Captain’s Bao’s face with surprising force, knocking him back and pulling the blade from Shinji’s chest. Shinji then jumps on the man, knocking him to the floor and begins to pound him like a savage gorilla. Bao has had many enhancements in strength and durability, but Shinji doesn’t care and keeps pounding until both of their blood stains the floor. As Bao loses his hold on his knife, Shinji grabs it and begins to stab. Each stab gets stronger and stronger piercing deeper and deeper into Bao’s body. Bao’s son tries to pull the enraged boy off his father, only for Shinji to slash his face with the dagger destroying one of his eyes. Shinji continues to stab and pound the handle into the man’s torso.
Shinji finally stops covered in blood and lets out a scream that shakes the corridor like a demon’s roar.
Captain Bao’s son pulls his handgun and aims at Shinji’s head. His face is full of rage over the brutal death of his father and the only thing in his mind is revenge.
Xander arrives at the scene and fires at the Pirate Ship’s first mate. The green-white beam strikes the man’s weapon and there is an explosion. The man falls to the ground screaming and holding the burnt stump of his arm. On the ground along with the fragments of the gun, the flesh and bone remains of the arm are consumed by corrosive blue-green plasma.
Shinji looks at Xander with an odd smile, then passes out.
Outside the Ship
The Bao Ship attached to the GP ship is suddenly illuminated by its shields. The translucent red barriers appear and ripple before dissolving into vanishing crimson particles. As the shield collapses, the docking ram explodes and the release of pressure forces the two ships apart. Seconds later, the GP Ship fires a laser from one of its cannons, which strikes the front of the Bao Ship.
Daniel learned from the enemy computer that the ship’s most powerful weapon, the Bao Disrupter is also its greatest weakness. Most of the ship’s computer lines and power conduits fit into the large machine housed in the front of the ship and the only larger machine is the ship’s power generator. When Daniel manages to fire the main gun, the beam sets off a chain reaction.
There is a large explosion in the front of the ship, followed by hundreds of smaller explosions that travel across the length of the three hundred and fifty plus meters as the conduits rupture and detonate when they react with the internal atmosphere. There is an explosion on the taller tower followed by a wave of electrical energy crawling across its surface. It’s the result of the computer systems overloading from the massive power surge, far greater than the surge protectors were designed for. The power generator also goes offline as the power conduits feed back into the core causing an overload.
One of the most powerful pirate ships ever built is shredded by internal explosions, leaving a lifeless husk.
Hidden in darkness, a figure reviews the events of the past few hours. Even hidden in shadows, it’s clear the man is tall, over six feet, with long silver hair that also glows in the darkness. He also wears round glasses that are illuminated by his glowing red-purple eyes. He wears either robes or a long coat that makes him look like an imposing statue in the darkness of the alien lab.
“Bao was killed? How interesting.”
The holographic screen in front of him displays the damage done to both the Galaxy Police Ship Seina and Pirate Ship Bao Long. It also shows the crews of both ships. The Seina crew are listed by name with small color (photo) images. The Pirate crew is a list of serial numbers with only the Captain Bao Song and his son/ First Mate Baojia Song having actual names. With a wave of his hand, he displays the three heroes of the ship.
The young Doctor Daniel Jackson from another world. An archeologist and linguist from a dimension filled with relics from advanced races. The man stops on the description of ascended beings taken from Jackson’s personal journal. He also notes the man is now listed as a Universal Translator.
Alexander Harris, nephew of a famous Galaxy Police Officer, is interesting in that he’s a mercenary from one of the most violent places on Earth. The planet may be listed as an undeveloped world, but more and more surprises appear from that planet. Tenchi Masaki and Seina Yamada were gentle people who wanted peaceful lives, but Xander is a soldier and part time pirate who could have given up the profession years ago, but didn’t.
The last is Shinji Ikari, the son of the scientist Dr. Yui Ikari. Yui is the only human scientist from Earth to be considered for the Science Academy. A single human who has accelerated the advancement of the Terrans and has been exposed to extraterrestrial life. It was been debated for a couple of years, but with her son revealed to be the son of a Tatsuki and his acceptance to the Galaxy Police, she has finally been accepted. The man in the darkness knew she would come to him.
“Very interesting,” says the tall man. “Don’t you agree?”
A light above is activated and illuminates a female figure. She’s an attractive fourteen year old girl with red eyes, pale skin, and short light blue hair. She’s dressed in a white and black version of a Galaxy Police uniform with two white clips in her hair.
“I want you to keep an eye on them, Rei.”
As Rei leaves, the light goes out and the man in the darkness begins to laugh. It’s a loud maniacal laugh that screams mad scientist and malice.
GP Academy Hospital
“Did you hear? Three Academy applicants from Earth took out Captain Bao!”
“Earth again? Why do people say that planet is primitive!? Lord Tenchi took out Kagato and Lord Seina took out the entire Daluma Pirate Guild!”
“I heard that Jackson kid managed to hack into Bao’s ship and cause the defense to crash. One shot and the entire ship was damaged.”
“I heard one boy is the nephew to Hardcore Haris He’s as brutal as his uncle.”
“I heard the Ikari kid took out Bao with his bare hands and Bao’s own knife.”
Shinji wakes up to another unfamiliar ceiling.
“You’re awake, Shinji.”
Shinji turns to see Daniel standing next to his bed.
“How do you feel?”
“I feel okay. I thought that man hurt me bad.”
“He did. You almost died, but we managed to stabilize you. Since they would have to rebuild your body anyway, they decided to give you the full GP body enhancement as well.”
“Your physical abilities have been enhanced with minor enhancements to your mind like memory recall. You can also heal a lot faster, so if you get into trouble again you should be able to handle it better,” says Daniel. “Xander is also getting body enhancement and we should be all ready by tomorrow, thank god.”
“You were worried??”
“You're one of my friends, Shinji. I always worry.”
Friends, thinks Shinji. Then he remembers the other version of Misato and wonders if there are others.
For a brief moment, Shinji sees blue-green eyes in the reflection of a window, but it fades in the blink of an eye.
End of Chapter 01
This story is a fusion/crossover of Tenchi Muyo Ryo-ohki (OAV), Tenchi GXP, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Stargate Sg-1, but will have many cameos and original characters.
Please Review. Praise is good and help is very good. No Flames or stupid comments.
Character Ideas are appreciated I need more crossover cameo ideas. World of Naruto? Gardener Harry Potter? Teen Titans lost in Space? Mutants in Space? Planet Pokemon? If you send a review or private message, I’ll see if I can include them. It doesn’t matter if the series in question is an alternate earth, high technology or high magic.
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” Arthur C Clarke
"Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology." Niven’s Law
Washu, Tsunami, and Tokimi are the Supreme Goddesses of the Tenchi Universe, but there are Multi-verses and the Omni-verse is Infinite.