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Red Blood and Blue Hands

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Red Death and Magic Tricks". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: Patrick Jane has to deal with a case where the occult is very real - Robin Wood has been murdered and Buffy Summers wants answers. Now the CBI and the Scoobies need to work together to find the killers.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Mentalist, TheLakshmibaiFR13813,92588021,65526 Aug 0910 Sep 09Yes

Chapter Eight

Patrick Jane sat in the Scoobies’ hotel suite, holding a large ice pack to his aching cheek. Lisbon had already rung Cho and the others and got them to take charge of Julia Davidson. They were also to get warrants to search the offices and homes of the senior partners of Scarlet Spas International. The dark haired agent was now pacing impatiently up and down the suite, having been told the truth about demons and Slayers.

“You want to know what I don’t get?” Xander asked. “I don’t get how you can actually arrest Julia Davidson. I mean, aren’t you going to get her in front of a judge have her say, oh yes, we ordered a demon to do it. I may have missed the boat on this one, but aren’t you going to get laughed out of court?”

“No,” Jane said, attempting a smile. This didn’t work. It hurt to move his face at all. It hurt to talk too, but that had never stopped him. “Because I’m reckless but I’m not stupid. I taped her confession on my cell, and didn’t record the bits where she mentioned demons or hell dimensions at that point. She also implicated the senior partners of her company, which is enough for a search warrant. I’m sure Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt will find plenty of incriminating evidence once they start looking.”

“Is that even admissible?” Giles asked, sounding shocked. “She was hypnotised!”

“Jane! I told you not to hypnotise people!” Lisbon glared at him before turning back to the Englishman. “It’s admissible. Just. Besides, it’s the only thing we’ve got. As Xander said, we can’t tell a judge a demon did it.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I can’t even tell the rest of my team a demon did it.”

“It’s fine. We’ll just say Julia Davidson and ol’ Blue Hands kidnapped Dawn and I, but that he got away in the struggle. No one will ask any awkward questions, there’ll be a big man hunt but no one will find anything and it will all be fine.”

“Jane, I swear if you do anything this stupid again, I will let you get eaten next time.” Lisbon actually sounded serious, he thought with a small smile. She sighed and sat down facing the blonde Slayer. “Buffy, I’ve seen what you can do and believe me, I was deeply impressed, but there must be something we can do to help? Surely if you had government backing….” She trailed off at the cold expression on Buffy’s face.

“Governments don’t help,” she stated baldly.

“True. Lisbon, consider a moment. The US government would undoubtedly start out with the best of intentions, trying to help Buffy and her friends, but in time, they’d try something like asking her to help on a counter-terrorism operation. And soon she’d be so busy working for the CIA she wouldn’t have time to fight demons.” Jane paused. “I can’t believe I said that with a straight face. Demons!”

Giles arched one eyebrow in disapproval. “Be that as it may, Mr Jane is essentially correct. Governments would seek to use the Slayer, and we can’t allow that to happen. I hope you understand, Agent Lisbon?”

She nodded slowly. “I do.” She held out a card for Buffy though. “But if you ever need anything, call me. I may work for the government, but you can trust me.”

“Thanks,” Buffy smiled, looking oddly embarrassed. “Same for you guys. You come across something like this again, just get in touch and we'll send someone to help. I can't guarantee it will be one of us, but someone will come." She hesitated slightly before saying, "So, you two good with what happened?”

“Yes. Jane nearly got eaten, and I’m sure he deserved it, but we closed the case.” Jane looked hurt, but Lisbon ignored him. “I can write this up in a way that my boss will accept. Don’t worry. We won’t mention you more than necessary, and only as giving us useful information on why Robin Wood was here.”

“Thanks,” Buffy repeated. “And I’m sorry my idiot sister nearly got your idiot consultant killed.”

“Hey, I’ve been tempted myself sometimes.” She shrugged and exchanged grins with the blonde Slayer.

“Lisbon! I’m hurt!”

“Oh shut up Jane.”



"Do you think Wills should work her mojo and do a memory spell on them?” Xander’s smile had disappeared as soon as Lisbon and Jane had said their goodbyes. “They seem nice now, but what if they go all Initiative on us?”

“Nah, they’re good guys,” Buffy said with a smile. “Besides, did you see Agent Lisbon’s right hook? For a non-Slayer, she’d make a great Slayer.”

“And I like Patrick,” Dawn said stubbornly. The two of them had spent twenty minutes talking quietly in a corner when they got back to the suite and Dawn thought she had a pretty good idea of how to put someone in a trance now. All she needed was a guinea pig…. Her eyes narrowed as she ran through her options. Andrew was definitely at the top of the list. As soon as they got back to London, she was going to try it.

“Dawnie, we can’t trust people based on you having a humungous crush on them,” Buffy reminded her dryly. “Remember how that’s worked out in the past?”

“Angelus,” Xander said.

“Mantis lady,” Willow added.

“Inca Mummy Girl,” Giles said with a smile.

“Cordelia,” Buffy finished. “Which I think proves Xander has worse taste than me and also shows why we don’t just go with ‘oh pretty, we’ll trust them now’.” Dawn pouted. “But you do have a point. I liked him too.” Buffy had spent a few minutes talking quietly with Jane and both had had tears in their eyes by the end of their talk.

“Me too. He was nice and funny, even when he was all bruised,” Willow said with a smile. “And besides, I told you, he’s not demony at all. I say we trust them. It might even be useful to have contacts in law enforcement in California.”

“I agree with Willow. We leave it for now,” Giles decided. “Now, let’s get packed and ready to go home. We have a funeral to plan and I think Faith would like to be involved in that. She should be done with the Finnish vampires in the next couple of days, so I suggest we all head to Cleveland, check on the Hellmouth and meet up with all those who will need to be there for Wood’s funeral.”

“Good plan, oh Watcher mine.” Buffy nodded decisively. “Then we’ll have a gigantic party for Wood and put the fun back in funeral!”

“Oh dear lord…”



“Boss, exactly what happened back at the Hospital? You and Jane have been suspiciously quiet about the whole thing.” Rigsby waited until they were back at CBI Headquarters before he brought the subject up, but it had obviously been bothering him. Van Pelt and Cho both leaned forward, interested in their answer.

“I told you: Julia Davidson and Blue Hands took Jane and Dawn Summers hostage and then I went in and saved them, but Blue Hands got away.” Lisbon was curt and to the point. She knew her people too well. If she gave them any sort of clue, they wouldn’t stop until they had the whole truth, and she wasn’t sure it would be safe for them to know.

“So why was Buffy Summers involved?”

“Because she was looking for her sister,” Lisbon said with a tone that warned her team to change the subject. “Where is Jane anyway?”

He walked in then, carrying a box. “Lisbon, good you’re all here. I’ve got something for you.” Lisbon got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. He’d done something stupid. Again. Next time she really was going to let the monster eat him. “Now, I thought I’d buy everyone a little present, as a sort of case closed present. Van Pelt, here’s yours.” He handed her a copy of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. “I thought you might like this. It’s a little over-romantic and mushy, but apparently it’s got a happy ending.”

Van Pelt frowned, muttered thanks and looked bemused.

“Cho, this one’s for you.” This one was Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett. “You’ll love it – it’s hilarious. The vampires in this one never stood a chance.” Lisbon hid a smile; Jane’s theme was unmistakeable. “Rigbsy, I got you Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice. I think it’s probably your sort of thing; lots of blood and violence. And Lisbon,” he turned to her with a smile, “Lisbon, I got you this one.” He handed her a large hardback and she laughed when she saw the title. Encyclopedia Horrifica: The Terrifying Truth about vampires, ghosts, monsters and more!

“Very funny, Jane.”

“What’s the sudden fascination with vampires, Jane?”

“Rigsby, this case just made me consider that perhaps, we don’t always know everything.” He smiled brightly. “Can I have a word with you, Lisbon, in your office?”

“Sure.” She waited until the door was closed before she said, “I thought we were going to keep this quiet.”

“We are, I just wanted to give everyone a little research, just in case. Don’t you want to see the book I got myself?” He handed over Dracula by Bram Stoker. “Read the inside.” Inside was a note reading: ‘Hey Patrick, don’t worry, this guy’s nowhere near as charming in real life! Love, Buffy’. Lisbon started to laugh.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about this actually. How are you taking this so well? I thought you might have more than a few problems with all this, but you’ve coped as though being nearly eaten by a monster and then rescued by a young girl who’s shorter than me is perfectly normal!”

Jane bit his lip and shrugged. “Buffy told me a few things." He paused, hesitated for a long moment before saying, "Do you know she’s been to Heaven? It really exists and she said she was truly happy there. She also said she was sure that my wife and daughter were in Heaven.”

Lisbon touched his arm lightly. “I’m sure she’s right.”

“It gets a little easier to believe in life after death when you hear Buffy Summers tell you all about it,” he admitted. “And if they’re happy and at peace, well, maybe everything isn’t that bad. Maybe.”

“Maybe.”

He cleared his throat and smiled. “And I wanted to give you something else.” He gave her a small jewellery box. Inside was a beautiful, delicate golden cross with a diamond at the centre.

“Jane, you didn’t have to...”

“Lisbon, you’re not a superhero, but you still ran in to save me from that thing.” Jane smiled easily at her. “You couldn’t have stopped it, but I know you would have died trying. So let me say thank you. You’re the best friend I could have.”

“And you’re a pain in the ass, but I’m damned if I’m going to let you become something’s main course.” Lisbon smiled at him. “And I think of you as a very good friend too.”

“Good.” He gave her one last dazzling smile and left her office. Before he closed the door, she heard him say, “So who wants to go for pizza?” Lisbon grinned. She’d liked Buffy Summers and her friends, but it was nice for life to get back to normal. Well, as normal as life got with Patrick Jane in it, anway.



A/N: So there we are; the day has been saved, all of our heroes have escaped unscathed (with the exception of a few shattered perceptions) and life can return to normal. Thanks to all who have reviewed and please let me know what you think of the two final chapters.

The way has been left open for a sequel - perhaps Lisbon or Jane will need to call Buffy in for help on a case and Rigsby, Cho and Van Pelt will find the truth. Or maybe Faith will want to meet the people who caught Robin's killers... If anyone would like to perhaps see a sequel, please let me know!

Thanks again for all the support and words of encouragement - this was a lot of fun to write and I hope it was a lot of fun to read!

The End

You have reached the end of "Red Blood and Blue Hands". This story is complete.

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