12

Disclaimer: Is this really necessary? If anyone really thinks these characters belong to me, then I've got some *great* real estate investments I'd like to discuss with you. All of the really good characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc.. Anyone else you might recognize doesn't belong to me, either. I'm just borrowing them for a while to show him how things should have gone in season 4. There is no intent to profit from this. Only the story is mine, and if anyone waves enough money in front of me, even that is negotiable.

~~~

"Xander! We need to talk," Giles said sharply, as he noticed the former Scooby's departure. Getting to his feet, he took off after him.

"Just what the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded as he caught up with Xander, while being careful not to actually grab him. "There was no cause for your actions back there, and you damn well know it!"

"That's not how I saw it," Xander replied indifferently, not bothering to look over at the Englishman as he continued on his way. "I told her, quite clearly, that I wanted nothing at all to do with her and that I wanted her to just leave me alone. She tried to attack me, and I defended myself. End of story."

"You could have bloody well killed her, if she had landed wrong!" Giles told him, pushing down 'Ripper's' urge to just grab the boy and thrash him until he listened.

"Yeah, I could have," Xander agreed. "But I didn't."

Giles was about to unleash an extremely scathing response, when he noticed a faint shimmering suddenly appear in the air surrounding Xander. Before the male Scooby could react, the shimmering coalesced into a series of sparkling pale blue bands that encircled his torso, trapping his arms and lifting him off the ground.

"Oh, for crying out loud," Xander wearily muttered to himself, as he strained briefly against the iridescent restraints, before ceasing his struggles and turning his head to look over his shoulder.

"Why am I not surprised?" Giles heard him say in a resigned voice, a moment before a blonde blur sped past the Watcher and took down the floating figure in a tackle any NFL linebacker would have been proud to claim.

The two figures hit the ground and rolled once, with the blonde blur resolving into a very pissed-off looking Slayer straddling the still mystically bound Xander, with one hand grasping the collar of his shirt while the other was clenched into a fist poised shoulder-high above his face.

"All right, now, whoever you are," she said, pulling Xander into a semi-reclining position by his shirt. "I'm going to give you one minute to un-possess my friend, and then, if you aren't gone, I'm going to pound you into a very bloody mess," she promised. "Better get moving, the clock's ticking."

"Hey, Buff, long time no see," Xander grinned up at her. "This really wasn't necessary, you know. I would have been glad to call you back if you just left a message on my voicemail."

The petite blonde seemed to completely miss the sarcasm underlying the humorous tone of voice, but Giles noted it right away. Pausing for a moment, Giles took the opportunity to push 'Ripper' back down into the mental compartment he normally occupied, and let 'Rupert' take back complete control. Heaven knows, given the way the past twenty four hours had gone, the composed and reflective Watcher would almost certainly be of greater assistance than the more pro-actively action-oriented 'Ripper.'

And, again, given the way the past twenty four hours had gone, that assistance would most likely be required within the next few minutes.

"Buffy, I think you may be overreacting a bit," the former Watcher stated, as he approached the pair in an attempt to urge restraint on the part of his charge. "I don't believe there is any need to resort to violence.

"At least, not at the moment," he qualified his statement, recalling Xander's rather over-zealous (at least, in his opinion) reaction to Faith's attempt to restrain him.

"Look, I'll admit, it's not like I haven't ever had dreams about us, with you on top, Buff," Xander grinned up at Buffy, making the blonde immediately begin to blush vividly, "but they usually also involved satin sheets, whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Would you mind getting off me and letting me up now?"

"Are you crazy? You possess my friend, and you expect me to let you go free?" she stared down at him in a mix of embarrassment, anger and amazement.

"Two questions here, Buffy," Xander replied, his mood immediately shifting from his standard jokester persona to complete seriousness, "First, why are you calling me your friend? And second, just why would you think I'm possessed?

"As far as the second question goes," Xander ranted, not allowing the Slayer a chance to interrupt – he had been biting his tongue for too long; the pressure inside him had been building up, and now it was exploding – "is it because I finally realized I could have a life of my own, one that didn't involve following you around like a lost puppy? Because I decided to do something on my own, and not wait for one of you to tell me what to do? Because I went ahead and got on with my life after you told me you didn't need or want my help anymore?"

"Buffy, he may, indeed, have a valid point here. Perhaps you should let him up," Giles suggested, as a slight clenching of his stomach suddenly made the ex-Watcher very aware of how Xander's view of the situation might be significantly different from his own. Giles abruptly realized his actions toward the male Scooby may have been clouded by his closeness to his charge.

"Giles, did you actually see what just happened?" the blonde replied incredulously, turning to look at him as she spoke. "He took Faith down in, like, nothing flat."

"And because I can do something like that, it must mean I've been possessed, right?" Xander broke in, glaring in righteous indignation at the woman sitting astride him.

"'Cause everyone knows that Xander's incompetent and helpless, and certainly not capable of defending himself against anything. I need to have the great and powerful Slayer watching out for me, to make sure nothing bad happens. Isn't that what you mean, Buffy?"

"Yes! I mean, uh, no, that's not it!" the blonde answered him. "I just meant that you couldn't do something like that because you wouldn't know how to do it, that's all."

"How would you know anything about what I know or don't know, Buffy?" Xander challenged her. "To begin with, you haven't even spoken to me in the past six weeks – ever since you informed me that *you* had decided I wasn't going to be permitted to help with the Slaying – so you have no idea of what, if anything, might have happened to me since then.

"Second, you don't have even the slightest idea of what I'm capable of doing or not doing. You've never bothered to take a real look around you to see what's really going on since you arrived here in Sunnydale. You only see what you want to see, and anything that doesn't fit in or disagrees with your own preconceptions is just ignored."

"See, that's exactly the kind of thing I mean, Giles," Buffy said, looking for affirmation from her mentor. "Our Xander wouldn't be saying things like that, now would he?" she stated positively.

"Oh yeah," Xander replied mockingly. "Irony much here, Giles?" he asked as he glanced over at the ex-Watcher for a moment. Turning back, he then began addressing the Slayer.

"*Your* Xander wouldn't ever *dare* to disagree with you, would he? He'd just go along with whatever it was you told him to do, and never even consider thinking about what actually goes on in this town and making a decision about his future for himself. He'd never even *think* about doing something by himself, never consider patrolling on his own, because *you* told him he wasn't good enough to even help out, and that's what's really important. *Your* Xander would just do what you told him to do, like a good little lapdog. Isn't that right, Buffy?"

Before Buffy could respond to his scathing comments, they were interrupted by a breathless Willow, who had stumbled to a halt a short distance from the two.

"Oh, good, you've got him," she gasped to Buffy, as she panted heavily from her hurried approach. "Can I let him go now, or do you want me to keep holding him?"

"And it's good to see you, too, Willow," Xander gave the redhead a big, artificial smile, the insincerity of his greeting obvious to all, as she kept her eyes on Buffy and avoided his gaze.

"Willow, what are you doing?" Tara asked, her eyes wide and her voice full of concern, as she joined the rapidly growing group, supporting a slightly wincing Faith. Glancing down at Xander, she asked, "Why are you using a Restraints spell?"

"I'm trying to keep Xander from hurting anyone else while he's possessed," the redhead answered, giving her lover a puzzled look. "Who knows who he'd attack if he got loose?"

"And again I ask, why would you think I was possessed?" Xander interrupted the incipient discussion to repeat himself.

"Because our Xander, the *real* Xander, would never behave the way you've been doing!" Buffy exclaimed, quite obviously upset with him. "My – Our Xander would never have been able to do the things you've done. So I'm going to give you one last warning, whatever you are – get out of Xander's body, or once we do get you out, I'm going to make a point of making you very, very sorry you possessed him!"

"Is it *what* I've been doing, or *who* I've been doing that upsets you, Buff?" Xander sneered, his lips drawn back in a vicious grin as he stared up at her. "What's the matter? You sorry you couldn't have woken up a little sooner than you did? Jealous that you never got a taste instead of Faith?"

Buffy went white with shock at his words at first, then immediately beet-red.

"You son of a bitch!" she snarled at him, as she drove her fist down, catching him with a glancing blow on the jaw before Faith tackled her and knocked her off Xander.

"Let me go! Let me go, damn it!" she screamed, as Faith tangled her arms and legs with hers, preventing her from getting back up. "I'll break your jaw, you bastard! You son of a bitch, I'll –" She broke off her rant and froze, as she realized what she was screaming, and exactly who was watching.

Willow was staring at her in wide-eyed shock, Giles glared in angry disapproval, Tara's face was completely expressionless, and Faith was sitting on the ground, her arm tucked against her ribs and an expression of mixed sorrow and pain on her face, while Xander wore a look of grim satisfaction on his face as blood slowly trickled down his chin from the corner of his mouth.

"That is quite enough, Buffy!" Giles' voice was cold and hard enough to chisel marble, and the blonde Slayer froze where she was, cringing slightly under his glare.

"I can see I made a grievous error in judgment telling Willow to bring you here," he declared firmly. "I think it would be best for everyone involved if you return home now, and allow us to resolve matters here without your assistance."

"Uh-uh, Giles," Xander disagreed, as he stared at the two women sprawled on the grass a few feet away, a complete lack of expression filling his face. "I want her here to see everything, so she won't be able to deny the results later.

"Okay, Willow," the magically shackled brunet turned his head to address his one-time life-long friend, "use your mojo so we can finish this mess up, once and for all. I'm sure you've got some kind of super-Wiccan spell all prepped and ready that'll tell you if I'm possessed, right?"

The slight wince the redhead made as she listened to the cold, viciously insightful voice he was using revealed the accuracy of his words to everyone present.

"All right, then, cast your spell. I want this over and done with, so cast your spell, so that everyone can see what happens," he ordered.

"Don't look at Giles for permission!" Xander snapped angrily as she glanced over at the Englishman. "Just cast the damn spell. NOW!"

With a rueful look on her face, the redhead opened her shoulder bag and rummaged through it for a moment before withdrawing a small leather pouch, from which she poured a small quantity of crushed herbs into her palm, while everyone else present watched in mixed silence and trepidation. Stepping forward, she sprinkled the herbs over Xander's prone form while speaking in a strong voice.

"Goddess Hecate, hear my plea. Reveal to us the truth of the man here before us!" she requested, as her hands moved in a series of gestures.

"Show us the spirit who controls this body!"

A moment later, a translucent, faintly glowing form rose up from Xander's body and stood before them.

As they looked at the shimmering image of Xander staring impassively at them, Willow felt both simultaneously relieved and disappointed, while she heard several sighs of relief from behind her. After several more seconds, the image flowed smoothly back down into Xander, leaving them all staring uncomfortably at one another.

A moment after the image disappeared, Willow shook herself, as though waking up from a nap, and gestured towards Xander, causing the bands surrounding him to fade away and drop him to the grass.

"Xander, I'm sorry. I just –" she began an apology, only to be brusquely interrupted.

"I don't care," Xander told her, as he climbed back to his feet and brushed himself off. "It doesn't matter to me in the slightest what your reasons were. The only thing I want from any of you, now, is for you to just leave me alone, and don't come near me again.

"Ever."

"Xander, we're your friends. We were concerned about you, and we wanted to make sure that you were all right," Giles said, feeling obligated to justify their actions to the man he considered almost a son.

"You're my friends?" Xander's laugh was brief and bitter. "I don't think so. Friends care about each other. They hang around with each other. They enjoy each other's company. They talk to each other.

"*You* people haven't seen or spoken to me even once in the past month and a half. You didn't even know if I was *alive*," he spat out, all of the repressed anger, hurt and resentment of the past few months finally coming to a head and erupting in a venomous outpouring of invective.

"The only reason you came looking for me at all right now, is because you thought I might be possessed," he snarled at the people gathered round him. "If you hadn't thought there was a chance I might become a problem, none of you would have even given me a second thought."

"That's not true, Xander!" Willow broke in. "I care about you! We all do!"

"Yeah, sure, Willow. We all just saw how much Buffy cares about me. If she cared any more, I'd probably be in traction," he sneered, as he wiped blood off his face. Buffy stiffened angrily as he spoke, but then her shoulders slumped as she recalled her reaction moments before, and she looked down at her feet, unable to meet his eyes.

"We just wanted to make sure you were safe," the redhead insisted. "That's why we didn't want you helping with the Slaying. We didn't want anything to happen to you."

"No, what *you* wanted was to make sure that there wasn't any competition for Buffy's attention," Xander shook his head in disagreement.

"Ever since you started studying magic, you've been wanting to spend more time patrolling with Buffy than researching with Giles," he told her. "The two of you going off to college made it a lot easier to cut me out of the patrol loop, because we've all had such different schedules, it's a lot simpler to just arrange things when you see each other at your dorm. If I wasn't around to help out, you'd be the one to go patrolling with Buffy. Right?"

"No, not at all!" Willow exclaimed indignantly. "That's completely and totally wrong, Xander! You know better than that!"

"Well, if I'm wrong, Will, and you did want me to help out, just tell me when was the last time you called me and we spoke on the phone," Xander asked, his tone of voice sounding entirely reasonable, even if his expression appeared hostile.

"Why, uh, it was just – uhm, I called you on – ah, it was –" the redhead was completely flustered by the simple question, as she desperately tried to remember her last phone conversation with her friend.

"It was five weeks and four days ago," Xander informed their listeners, once it became evident she was unable to answer the question. "And the actual fact of the matter is that I called you, and you told me that the meeting at Giles' place had been postponed and you'd call me back and tell me when it was re-scheduled.

"I'm still waiting for that call back, by the way," he added with a sneer, as the redhead also dropped her gaze to her feet.

"Xander, we were concerned about you getting hurt. That's the truth," Buffy said, as she slowly climbed to her feet and looked over at him.

"Truth? Coming from you? That's a laugh," Xander said, scorn plentiful in his voice.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Buffy challenged him, anger evident in her tone.

"You've been lying to me as far back as I can remember, *Slayer*," Xander replied stonily as he stared back at her. "And before you say anything, let me mention just a few of the highlights from our years together –

"The first time you ever mentioned Angel, you told me he was an 'older guy,' and deliberately gave me the impression that he was some decrepit old man who could barely find his way to the bathroom; then, there was the time at the beginning of junior year at the Bronze when you asked me to dance, asked me if you'd ever thanked me for saving your life when you faced the Master, and then humiliated me in front of everyone there, just to make some kind of point to Deadboy; after that, there was the whole 'forgetting to mention Angel's back from hell' thing; and then there was my favorite, the time you, Giles and Deadboy neglected to mention that you were trying to scam Psycho-Slayer here," he noted, indicating Faith with a wave of his hand and making her wince with remembered guilt, "by pretending that Angelus was back again, and he punched me in the jaw, not pulling it whatsoever, then left me lying there, unconscious, on the street.

"Fortunately, no 'gang members on PCP' stumbled across me before I woke up and managed to get myself to the hospital," he noted, his voice laced with bitterness.

"The doctor at the ER told me how lucky I was, because I only had a hairline fracture of the jaw. I was chewing extra-strength aspirin like they were jellybeans and drinking most of my meals through a straw for the next three weeks," he informed his audience.

"While I deeply regret that we were unable to let you know about the deception, Xander," Giles interjected, interrupting the younger man's diatribe, "you must remember that it was vital that the Mayor believe that Angelus had, indeed, returned and thus attempt to recruit him, in order that we gain the necessary information regarding the Ascension.

"Desperate times sometimes require desperate measures."

"Well, if that's true, Giles, why didn't you say something to help me out last year, after Buffy came back, when I told you guys that I lied about the soul restoration spell?" Xander demanded, turning to address his former mentor.

"I don't know about you, but the 'End of the World' generally falls under my definition of 'Desperate Times'! From what I recall, you just sat back and kept quiet while Little Miss 'I'm Desperately In Love With A Vampire' here was trying to rip me a new one, and Willow the Good Witch over there stood around looking shocked, agreed with Buffy about how awful it was that I lied, and generally acted like I had just killed her puppy," he said.

"I don't recall hearing anything about 'doing the things we had to do, in order to save the world.' What I do remember hearing is being called a jealous son a bitch, who wasn't fit to clean Deadboy's shoes. Thanks for all the support," Xander half-snarled.

"Oh yeah – don't bother calling me the next time you need to be picked up at the warehouse."

As he spoke, Buffy opened her mouth, as if to argue, but then closed her mouth and kept quiet. Willow merely stood where she was and remained silent as Xander spoke, sadness, shame and disappointment lining her face. Giles, too, remained silent for a moment longer, as he considered the young man's statements, and realized the truth of everything that had just been said.

Giles was the only one of them who could find any answer for the angry young man standing before them.

"You are entirely correct, Xander," he said quietly, once the former Scooby finished speaking. "For the second time today, I am finding it necessary to apologize for my indifference and complete lack of consideration regarding my, or rather, our behavior towards a member of our group over the course of the past several years. We failed you dismally, more than once, most especially when one considers the extremes to which you have gone for our sakes, and there is no justification, whatsoever, for our thankless behavior.

"All we can do is apologize and beg your forgiveness. The only excuse I might offer you for our actions is that we are human, and therefore make mistakes. In our case, we made many," he said, acknowledging, with the benefit of hindsight, the accuracy of Xander's interpretation of their behavior.

"I want you to know that I am truly sorry for my failure to live up to the standards of friendship you have demonstrated and that I can only hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive us, if not now, then sometime in the future."

Silence reigned across the grounds for only a moment, before both Buffy and Willow began offering their former classmate their apologies, also.

Xander waved them to silence almost before they had begun, and his words were short and concise.

"All I want from any of you people is for you to leave me alone. Don't call me, don't come by my place, don't talk to me if you see me on the street.

"Just leave me alone."

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving a very distraught, quiet and thoughtful group of people behind him.

FIN

The next story in the 'Identity Crisis' series is 'When Nobody's Looking.'