Chapter 10

A/N: All right folks here is chapter 10. I'm about to go to bed; I'm so tired, but I thought that I'd throw this up first...hope you enjoy.

I didn’t move even an inch, as I felt Spike’s breath even out behind me. There was no way I could leave the bed now. Not with his leg thrown over mine and his arms wrapped so tightly, even in sleep, around my waist. Not being able to leave didn’t scare me as much as the fact that I didn’t want to leave. I knew that if I stayed there was the great risk that someone would go to my room to wake me up, and I would not be in there. This would of course start a panic in which all the rooms would be searched. Ending, no doubt in embarrassment on my part, and yelling on Angel’s part; I didn’t really feel like doing that just now.

But the thing was: A.) I really didn’t want to move. B.) I really couldn’t move even if I did want to move.

This was a bit unnerving, and also frustrating. I wanted nothing more than to stop over analyzing what was going on and get some sleep. It was just that Angel’s warning from two nights ago kept running through my head. I had sworn to him up and down that I was not ready for love, but here I was in Spike’s bed. His body pressed up against mine.

But the thing was: A.) Not always did this kind of thing mean that love was involved. B.) I really wanted to push Angel’s word aside and take what I wanted.

Yes, unnerving and frustrating were very good words for this situation.

And I needed to call Jake. I had asked Angel again if he could come, and Angel had agreed.

“Stop it,” a voice grumbled against my neck.

“What?” I whispered.

“Stop thinkin’ so bloody much, Ducks,” Spike told him. His arms tightening, to pull me impossibly closer.

“I can’t help it; I think when I’m nervous.”

“You don’t have anything to be nervous about,” he assured me.

Though this did not quell my fears at all, it did make me laugh lightly.

“You laughin’ at me?” Spike growled playfully.

I nodded my head, and turned slightly so I could see his face. There was a smirk there, that I had seen much too much for my liking. My eyes liked his smiles a bit too much for my liking and at that thought my mind began to wonder. And suddenly I was remembering not even four days ago when Spike and I had run out alone to save that young woman. I remembered his lips pressing down on mine so briefly that I even now was not sure if it had really happened or not.

“You’re doin’ it again, Ducks,” Spike whispered into my ear. I huffed and turned around so that I was once again looking at the wall. “You’re so warm,” he murmured to me. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been this warm?”

I turned around completely in his arms to look at him. “Too long, I imagine,” I whispered back.

“Way too bloody long,” he answered.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, and even before the words were fully out of my mouth, I knew them to be true. They were no white lie to make him feel better, and they were not false words to whisper in a dark room, but never to be thought of again. They were truth.

“For what, Ducks,” Spike asked me quietly. Though for some strange reason, I felt as if he already knew.

“For having to be cold for so long,” I murmured, wrapping my arms around him. He didn’t respond, but he did bury his face into my neck. And I did notice the shudder that he gave, as if he was trying to hold in tears. This surprised me. Spike? No, surely not Spike; he was a self proclaimed bad ass. But I didn’t feel any tears, and I didn’t hear any sobs.

Soon enough I was drifting off to sleep tangled up with a vampire that had no soul, but did have a heart. Of that I was sure.

*********
“Rise and shine, Ducks. The day awaits you,” a voice whispered in my ear. I groaned and turned over. I did not want to get up. I was so comfortable.

“Go away,” I mumbled as I felt hands gently pulling me from the bed.

“Now, now, Ducks. You’re friends will be lookin’ for you if you don’t show up soon. Have to man the phones and all that,” Spike’s voice sounded over my head, just as he managed to get me into a somewhat standing position. I groaned again, but knew that he was right.

“Alright, alright. I’m up.”

I turned to walk away much too abruptly and promptly landed on my ass.

“You are the clumsiest girl I know,” Spike told him, as he dragged me to my feet.

I grumbled and walked to the door. It opened easily for me, and I didn’t want to look back, but I did. And there he was in all his glory, that silly smirk on his face. I shook my head and left the room.

Only to run smack into Fred.

Once more I was sprawled on my ass. The floor seemed so much less forgiving these days, but maybe it was just mad at the amount of times I had fallen on it lately.

“Oh, Bella! I’m s-sorry; I didn’t see you there,” Fred nearly shrieked.

She ran over to help me up and then looked around, and lowered her voice. “What are you doing coming out of Spike’s room in the morning?” This would not have annoyed me coming from her, except that she had that slyest little smirk on her face.

“None or your business,” I snapped pulling away from her. “I’m sorry Fred; I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m still half asleep.”

We talked for a little while, she didn’t bring up me being in Spike’s room, and I didn’t smack her.

When I made it back to my room to shower and change, it was nearly three in the afternoon. Luckily no one had come to find me yet, so I got dressed and headed down stairs. I made it down to the ground floor without so much as a stumble, and nearly patted myself on the back. But before I could I noticed Jaden sitting on the counter while Wesley paced in front of him. I nearly laughed when I watched as Jaden’s eyes followed Wesley, his head never moving. It looked comical for some reason.

When I stepped off the last stair Jaden’s eyes snapped over to me, a smile lighting up his face.

“Good morning,” I called, smiling back. Wesley and Jaden both responded in kind.

I walked over to where Jaden was sitting on the counter and hopped up next to him. “How are you doing?” I asked.

Jaden looked around for a moment before he answered me. “I’ve been better, but everyone here has been really nice to me,” he told him honestly.

I smiled at this and knew the feeling.

“That’s good,” I said, bumping him softly with my shoulder. “Wesley, have you found anything out? I think it’s pretty obvious that Jaden is not a normal vampire.”

“Yes, yes, quite right,” Wesley murmured.

I rolled my eyes. He was obviously very interested in his books, and did not care one bit about what I was saying. Not really caring myself, as long as I would be informed once he found something out, I shrugged my shoulders. Next to me Jaden laughed a little.

“Is he like this all the time?” Jaden asked me.

I smiled at him, and shook my head. “Nope. Only when he’s researching something. Which…well…it’s most of the time, but he usually is not like this,” I tried to explain. “If that made any sense at all to you.”

We both laughed for a while. Jaden seemed like a good guy/vampire. He was tall and skinny, with high cheek bones and long brown hair. He kind of reminded me of Jasper for some reason. Though his eyes were the same color as Spike’s, there was just something about him that made me think of Jasper when he spoke. He was sweet, and I didn’t want to let him go; I wanted to keep him here with me at the hotel. He made me feel better.

“Have you eaten?” I asked him.

“No, not yet,” He told him. I watched as he looked over at Wesley who was still reading one of his books. “He’s been busy; I didn’t want to interrupt him.”

I smiled at that and grabbed his arm to pull him with me toward the little fridge in Angel’s office. I knocked lightly and waited. It didn’t take long before Angel called for me to enter. I smiled at the sight of Angel reading at his desk, as always.

“Ah, Bella. How are you today?” He asked me.

He was always so polite. I paused for a moment realizing that, no, he had not always been polite. I had thought that the story would affect me much worse than this, but it seemed like I was fine with it. To me he was still Angel, the nice and kind vampire that had taken me in. Without question.

“I’m good. Can I get some blood for Jaden, here?”

Angel just nodded his head and motioned me toward the fridge.

As I went to get the blood out, I listened to Angel and Jaden talk.

“You’re hotel is very beautiful.” I rolled my eyes at that. Men.

“Yes, I do like it very much.” Good God.

“Teach me,” Jaden said suddenly. My head snapped up, and I twisted around to look at the men.

“Teach you what?”

“How to fight, I want to fight with you.”

“No,” I stated and then closed my eyes feel stupid. “I mean…okay I don’t know what I mean,” I mumbled. I blushed brightly as the two men laughed at me.

“Hey, Ducks, you want to train with me?” Spike asked me, his head curled around the door.

I turned to look back at Angel and Jaden, but Angel just nodded his head and motioned for me to go. He obviously wanted to talk to Jaden alone. Rolling my eyes I handed Jaden his container of blood. Jaden smiled at me and squeezed my hand as he grabbed it. I turned and followed Spike to the training room. I went to grab my long dagger when a hand grabbed mine.

“No weapons today,” Spike said silkily in my ear. I gulped and him being that close made me remember what it felt like to have his body pressed against the back of mine. Every breath could be felt against my neck, and it was making my shiver. I pushed forward away from his body and turned quickly planting my hands in his chest and pushing. He stumbled back, and I swept his feet out from under him.

He landed hard on the ground and I stood over him. “Fine,” I whispered. “No weapons.”

I felt all coped up, and needed a release. If I didn’t get one, I would be jumping Spike’s bones any moment now. I didn’t think that would be a good idea, so I waited for Spike to jump to his feet. Smirk firmly in place, he circled me. I bent my knees ready for him to jump at me. I knew it was coming, could see it in the way that he was moving. If there was one thing about fight that I was good at it was anticipating what an opponent would do next. I might not be the best the actual fighting part of it, but I could always tell what someone was going to do in a fight.

I knew that moment that Spike was going to jump for me, I spun out of the way and rolled to the side. Rolling back to my feet just as Spike turned back around. “Gettin’ better, Ducks,” Spike told him. His tongue firmly behind his teeth. I loved that quirk of his.

I laughed softly watching him again. This time when he jumped for me, he went lower. For my legs I guess. I jumped over his head, but didn’t get enough air and he plowed right into my knees. I toppled over him, and I smacked the floor loudly. I gasped and sputtered as the air was knocked out of me. Immediately Spike was over me, gently tipping my head so I could gasp in air.

“Y’all right, Ducks?”

I shook my head, as the tears started. My elbow had somehow gotten under my left side. My shoulder was dislocated.

“Listen, Ducks, I’m going to push your shoulder back in. ‘Kay?” I couldn’t talk, so I just nodded my head. He grasped my arm and the other side of my chest, and then he pushed. White hot pain spasmed through me. I screamed, but it was swallowed my Spike’s mouth that was suddenly on my own. His kiss was rough and demanding, but I didn’t care just then. I grabbed the back of his head with my good arm and pulled him even closer.

His hands where everywhere, I would register a hand somewhere, but then it would be somewhere else. It was all happening so fast, that I was dizzy from it. His mouth was hard on my, bruising. His hands rough where ever he touched. But slowly, very slowly the kiss turned gentle. Soon his hands were brushing lightly down my sides and back up, his fingers brushing the sides of my breasts. His lips felt softer, his teeth were no longer clashing with my own, and my tears had stopped.

He pulled away so I could breath, his breath puffing out against my face.

“Feelin’ better?” he asked softly.

I nodded my head, my fingers playing lightly with his hair. I watched as his eyes closed. He liked it! I didn’t stop.

“I-I’ve never been kissed like that before,” I whispered to him.

He pulled back, but I made sure to follow him with my hand. That one eye brow shot up, making my focus on his scar. “Never, Ducks?”

“Nope, I-I had a boyfriend before I came here,” I whispered. Why was I telling him this? “He’s the reason I’m here actually.” I blinked my eyes a few times, as the tears started to come back. “He l-left me, and I was broken. I needed a change, so I came here. Wesley and Gunn found me, and brought me here. But my boyfriend, E-Edward,” I stuttered over his name, but I said it. “He never touched me like that, he was scared that he would hurt me,” I explained to Spike.

The blonde let his eyebrow fall back down to where it normally sat and sighed.

“Don’t know how anyone could resist touchin’ you, Ducks. ‘specially when you slid into bed with them in the dead of night,” he whispered in my ear. I blushed deeply and looked away.

“Well, I’m not sure why I did that. I’ve never done anything like that before,” I tried to explain to him.

He just grinned and started to pull off his shirt. “What are you doing?” I squeaked. Wow, I was dignified.

“Relax, I’m makin’ you a sling for your shoulder. I’ll have Gunn run out and buy you a real one later,” he told me. I blushed darker, at the thoughts that I had when I saw him takin’ off his shirt.

“’sides, pet, you’re too hurt right now, for me to ravish you,” he told him, that tongue up behind his teeth.

“Sure, sure,” I said, rolling my eyes, as he helped me slip the sling he had just made around my neck. He tucked my arm into it. He helped me to stand up and wrapped an arm around me. “Okay, let’s go face that wrath of Angel,” I said, a determined look on my face.

“It’s my fault, Ducks, don’t worry about it,” he told me. He was going to take the blame for it? No he was not! It was not his fault that I had tried to jump over him when he lunged at me. I knew for a fact that it had been a bad idea to attempt that leap. Fingers suddenly touched my forehead, smoothing out the creases between my eyes. “Don’t worry about it,” he mumbled to me.

“It was my fault,” I told him.

“No it wasn’t.”

I just shook my head, and let him lead my upstairs.

We walked around the corner in time to hear Angel say, “Teach me, my ass. You already know how to fight.”

I was confused, before I saw Jaden standing over Angel, a sword pointed at his throat. I panicked for a moment, before Jaden started to laugh. “Yeah, but I didn’t know if I would be able to still fight in this body. Everything is different now,” he said, holding out a hand for Angel. “I can see everything now, and I can hear everything. For instance I could hear Bella’s heart beat before she was even close to entering the room,” he said turning to me.

I smiled and waved my good hand. He frowned when he saw my arm in the home made sling. Courtesy of Spike.

“Are you alright?” he asked me, causing the whole gang to look at me. Even Lorne was there.

Angel was by my side immediately. “My God, Bella, what happened?”

“It was my fault, really. I tried to jump over Spike when he lunged at me,” I explained. Angel turned a hard stare on Spike, who dropped my waist and walked over to Gunn. I watched him walk away, and then turned back to Angel. He sighed, and grabbed my arm, pulling me toward his office. Jaden started to follow, but Lorne grabbed his arm and shook his head.

I sighed, this would mean that Angel would not hold back, but tell me exactly what he was thinking.

“I don’t want you training with Spike anymore,” he told me the moment he closed his office door.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I exclaimed.

“You did exactly what I warned you not to do. Spike is dangerous,” Angel told him, leaning over his desk to look me square in the face. I scrunched up my face and looked away from him.

“Oh, and you’re not dangerous?” I asked him quietly, knowing full well that he could hear me.

“I have a soul,” he told me, but he was not as quite as I was. “But Spike, he doesn’t. He’s unpredictable. He’s dangerous.”

“So are you!” I stood quickly looking him dead in the eye. “You, you, you never told me what you were before you got a soul. Spike doesn’t have a soul, but he’s good. He’s something that you never could be. Without a soul you kill and you cause pain, but not Spike!”

I slapped a hand over my mouth the moment I finished speaking.

“You see, you’re in love with him. Just like I knew you would. He will not let you go now,” Angel told him, his head hanging.

“Angel I’m so so-“

“Just leave,” Angel murmured, pointing at the door. I didn’t want to leave I needed to apologize.

“Angel,” I started.

“No, Bella, just go!” Angel yelled this time.

I turned quickly and exited the office. My heart was pounding. I felt terrible; I had used something that should never even be brought up against him. I shouldn’t even know. Spike never should have told me. My chest hurt, and I started to gasp. I didn’t realize, but I had started to hyperventilate. Cool hands pressed against my cheeks, and a soft voice was suddenly speaking to me.

“What happened, Ducks?”

But I couldn’t really understand the words. Soon arms where pulling me to my feet, and I was being carted away from the office.

“Cupcake?” Lorne’s voice asked.

I looked up at the green demon from my sitting position.

“Sing for me, Cupcake,” Lorne commanded.

I gasped in some air, and started to sing.

“I’m glad I never lived next to the water
So I could never get used to the beach
And I’m glad I never grew up on a mountain
To figure out how high the world could reach

I love the miles between me and the city
Where I quietly imagine every street
And I’m glad I’m only picturing the moment
I’m glad she never fell in love with me

For some the world’s a treasure to discover
And your scenery should never stay the same
And they’re trading in their dreams for explanation
All in an attempt to entertain

But I love the miles between me and the city
Where I quietly imagine every street
And I’m glad I’m only picturing the moment
I’m glad she never fell in love with me

The trick of love is to never let it find you
It’s easy to get over missing out
I know the ‘hows’ and ‘whens’
But now and then she’s all I think about

I wonder how it feels to be famous
But wondering is as far as I will go
‘cause I’d probably lose myself in all the pictures
And end up being someone I don’t know

So it’s probably best I stay in Indiana
Just dreaming of the world as it should be
Where every day is a battle to convince myself
I’m glad she never fell in love with me”

I opened my eyes and looked up toward Lorne, who had a strange look on his face. “Does anyone know you are here, Cupcake?”

“I don’t think so,” I whispered. Two hands tightened on me, and I looked up to see both Spike and Jaden had a hold on me. I was thankful for that; they were keeping me sane right now. I felt so bad for the things I had said to Angel, but at the same time I was so mad. I was mad that he would tell me who to love, and I was so made that he wouldn’t understand. “My dad,” I whispered.

“The people, the family…that left you,” Lorne said softly. My head snapped up as I listened intently to what he was saying. “Would he tell them?”

“No,” I knew that for sure. He would never; he hated them for what they did to me. “Trust me, he wouldn’t tell them.” But I don’t think that would stop them from finding me. If they really wanted to, they could and would.

I sighed. “Are they coming here?”

“You know I can’t tell you that. I can only help you stay on the right path. So in light of all that has happened in the last ten minutes, I think Spike and Jaden should take you out for a little patrol.”

I raised my eyebrow at them all. “Come on, like Angel would let me after I brought home a vamp last night,” I snorted.

“Well if you leave right now, I don’t see how he can stop you,” Gunn said nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders. I grinned and looked up at Spike only to find him gone.

“He went to get your dagger and axe,” Jaden told me.

I nodded my head, jumping off of the chair. Pain shot up my arm and down my torso. “Oh,” I gasped. Nope there was no way I could go out and fight vamps with this arm. I looked over at the doors that looked so inviting. Sigh.

“I can’t,” I whispered. “My arm hurts too much.”

Jaden made a sad face, and turned to look at Spike who had just walked through the door holding my dagger. “No can do, Spike. Bella’s arm hurts too much.”

Spike pouted, and I laughed.

“I don’t want to stay here, though,” I sighed.

“Well, Lorne, how is your fine establishment doing?” Gunn asked, grinning.

“Very well, I’ve redecorated after you all trashed it again,” Lorne said with a frown on his face. “You’re not planning on trashing it again, are you?”

Gunn rolled his eyes and turned to me, “How do you feel about meeting some demons?”

I felt my eyes grow wide, and my head nodded without permission.

********
Poor Angel he's so sad....