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Blackmail Is Such A Dirty Word

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Blackmail Is Such A Dirty Word". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: After a rough day battling false Gods Colonel O'Neill returns home to find someone waiting for him and this person knows everything about him including things his teammates don't know and Jack really wished they never learn about.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-Centered > Theme: Halloween MemoriesLadyFoxFireFR13511,1322318960,35712 Sep 0910 Oct 09Yes

Blackmail Is Such A Dirty Word - ch 5/5

Bad Author Notes: And here we are at the end of the story and yes, I've already started a sequel. And yes, I'm working on my sequel to the God of Chaos.

"Ah trees," Colonel Jack O'Neill said with fond disgust as the Stargate closed behind him.

"And what's wrong with trees," a familiar voice called out from among the trees.

O'Neill cross him arms over his chest as he stared into the area the voice came from. "They hide annoying pains in the rear from sight until they attack."

"Really," the voice said from directly behind Jack. "Imagine that."

Jack turned to glare at the source of the voice, which turned out to be a young man with brown hair and eyes dress in a SGC field uniform. "Case in point," he growled.

"Awww," the young man whine, "is that anyway to treat your better half?"

"My better half?" Jack sputtered. "There is no way one God's green Earth that you're my better half, Xander!"

"Of course, I am," Xander countered. "I have all your knowledge, your experience. I'm younger and my knees don't hurt. Plus if you haven't notice we're not on God's green Earth therefore I'm your better half."

"He does have a point, Jack," Daniel Jackson said from where he stood next to Jack.

"Don't encourage him," Jack whined as he turned on his friend.

"I have to agree with Daniel and Xander, sir," Carter spoke up with a smirk on her face. "He is your better half. In addition he's more cuddly."

"Ahhh," Xander said as he hugged Carter. "Love you too."

"XanderHarris's youth allows his enemies to underestimate him," Teal'c commented.

"What is this!" Jack explained. "Pick on Jack day?"


"So what's the gossip from Earth?" Xander demanded as he bounced on the balls of his feet. "Did you bring me anything good?"

Jack made a noise as if to dismiss Xander's question.

"Come on, Jack," Xander begged. "You don't know what it's like up here. The big brains treat me like I'm some type of weird soldiers until they need me to point out the obvious to them and the soldiers treat me like I'm some weird science project. Of course, they now use me as training for the newbies by making me fight them. After I take them out they point out to the newbies to never take anything at face value."

"Well at least you're keeping in shape," Jack offered as a saving grace.

Xander stuck his tongue out at Jack. "Love you too."

The rest of SG-1 chuckled at Jack and Xander's antics and how much they are alike as they wandered off in the direction of the base while giving the two men some privacy.

"So," Xander said as he watched Carter's yellow hair vanish from view.

Jack nodded his head as he agreed with Xander's unspoken comment about them being alone now. "So… how is everything?"

Xander shrugged his shoulders. "About as expected. Being the odd man out and everything," he said. "But some of the guys are trying to include me in stuff… games and training and stuff. A couple of the scientists have taken on the impossible task of correcting the fuck up that Sunnydale education system created. Of course, they also looked at me weird when I told them I could read about 8 dead languages and speak 3 of them."

"You confuse them," Jack explained. "Scientists don't like to be confused. They like everything orderly, neatly labeled with little white tags and carefully filed away."

Xander looked at Jack with a raised eyebrow. "You go in and mess Carter's stuff up, don't you?"

"And Daniel's," Jack added in with a mischievous grin.

With a snort, Xander shook his head at Jack. "So how are things on Earth?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "The same as usual," he replied. "Had a visit by a snake with a bad boob job. Dealt with a power mad Senator. You know, the usual."

Xander nodded his head. "And Sunnydale?"

"Pierce said that Giles got in contact with him," Jack said.

"I can't imagine he was pleased to find out that I was involved with the military when it came to protecting Sunnydale," Xander commented.

"From what I understand he was pretty freaked out by the fact there is a nuke ready to take out the town whenever it's needed," Jack commented.

"I don't see why," Xander said, "after all we had a portal to Hell under our feet and bi-yearly apocalypse."

"Probably a control issue," Jack offered as a reason.

Xander shrugged his shoulders in reply.

"If it helps, he seemed pretty upset when he learned what happened," Jack offered noticing how down Xander was.

"A little," Xander said. "But he was probably more upset over Buffy walking the edge. Slayers are meant to fight the supernatural, not normal people. When they do they can slip over the edge and become bad like Faith did."

Jack looked over at the younger man. "You did good there," He said as he gave Xander's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "And your friends… they're morons."

Xander snorted in amusement.

"Hey you're now with people who can value you for who you are and what you can do," Jack said. "Though I'm still wonder why you wanted to come up here instead of hiding out on Earth."

"Magic," Xander replied. "If they wanted to they could have found me by magic but up here they won't be able to find me. In a couple years I can return to Earth and start a new life."

"You could always go to the academy," Jack offered.

"I'm not really interested in learning how to jump out of a perfectly good plane with only a bed sheet," Xander replied.

"That’s Airborne, the Army," Jack corrected.

"Ohh that right! The Air Force are the ones who climb into things that are basically a gas tank with wings which are built by the lowest bidders," Xander teased.

"Got to prove our manhood somehow," Jack replied as the two men walked off towards the base and a new future.

The End

You have reached the end of "Blackmail Is Such A Dirty Word". This story is complete.

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