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Summary: Sam struggles with Dean's instruction to kill the witch, Willow. Dark, angsty, and romantic.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Willow-Centered > Pairing: Sam Winchester(Past Donor)CasFR18319,8061173,91313 Sep 0919 Sep 09Yes

Chapter 3

He was only vaguely aware of the sensation of falling, of landing on the soft bed. In the back of his mind, he knew they'd succeeded, that she'd succeeded, that if he were the nice guy most people seemed to think he was, he'd stop her. Make sure she realized they didn't have to do this... that it was no longer a 'sex or die' situation. But as she rode him, as she clenched around his rock hard cock, as the heat of desire swept through his body, he decided "nice" was overrated.


Gripping her hips, he helped her rise and come down over his shaft, biting his lower lip as he watched her from under his bangs. So fucking beautiful, so sweet and sexy... so not the witch he'd been duped into believing she was. Lifting his hips hard, groaning as he pushed deeper into her velvety warmth, he slid one hand up her side, partly cupped her breast, and then he just... he just needed her under him. Jackknifing up to a sitting position, he brought one hand behind her head, cupping it as he melded their mouths together in a hard, desperate kiss.



Each time their mouths parted, Willow drew in deep gulps of air only to have her breath taken away with the intensity of his kisses. Oblivious to their surroundings, she moved with him, her hips gyrating to meet each powerful thrust. The feel of his chiseled muscles against the softness of her breasts and his overpowering strength were exhilarating and she reveled in the clash of sensations.



And when he suddenly lifted her and she felt the bed under her back, the turbulence of the spell gave way to absolute clarity. She sucked in a sharp breath and looked up into the crystal clear depths of his eyes as he hovered over her. He stilled and she could feel the beat of his heart reverberating through her very core as he pulsed inside her.



“Sam…” her voice was thick with desire. “Don’t stop… don’t ever stop…” she told him as her legs locked around his hips and her inner walls tightened around him.


He'd tensed when she said his name and looked at him like that, had known she'd come to her senses too. But her desperate plea rocked his world. "Wasn't planning to," he whispered, meeting her mouth half way, sucking her tongue the instant she gave it to him. One hand flat on the bed, holding some of his weight off her, he thrust his hips, barely holding in a groan at the friction between them. She was so tight, so hot, so in tune with him, it was beautiful and overwhelming, almost beyond his control.

Breaking the kiss with a breathless mewl, Willow hooked her arm around his back and buried her face in the curve of his neck, straining against each driving thrust that took her closer to the precipice. Her fingernails pressed into the chiseled contours of his muscles leaving half moons across his back as she held on with all her strength, riding the cresting wave of desire even as it threatened to overtake her. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this alive and she wanted it to last forever.

And then she was kissing him again, devouring him, muttering unintelligible whispers of unrestrained pleasure. Feeling completely uninhibited, she stretched her arms up and grabbed the bars of her headboard, abruptly angling her hips so he could drive deeper into her core. Pulling her head up to look at him, she sucked in a labored breath at the sight of his well muscled chest and abdomen coated in a light sheen of sweat and he came against her again and again. When her lust filled eyes dragged up his body to meet his, her hands fisted tighter around the headboard and she hooked one leg over his shoulder and the other around his back to draw him deeper still.

When she felt his cock slamming against her g-spot, she cried out in a primal moan as the intensity of the sensation sent her tumbling over the edge of the cresting wave of ecstasy. "GodsGodsGodsSamPleaseNowNowNow Now!" she panted out the words as the tsunami hit her full force and she shattered into a million pieces, clenching and writhing in uncontrolled spasms.

Every thrust, pull of her legs around his waist, every kiss, every moan she sounded, the terrible pressure built within him. He needed her, this, needed this, needed release, but he held on for as long as he could, and then she was pleading for it, and then there was the demand. His body tensed, every muscle straining as he threw his head back and climaxed with her, shouting her name as he held one of the bars on the headboard, and mindlessly drove into her again and again. She was clenching around him so hard, the sensations kept coming in waves, easing only slightly each time, until he was able to think again, to drop his head down and kiss her. Without pulling out of her, he rolled them so she was on top of him, stroking her back and the curve of her ass lightly, as they both came down from the peak they'd reached.

Willow's body quaked and shuddered as aftershocks rippled endlessly through her, each time one took her, she clenched around him in a tight spasm until she finally collapsed, laying flat on his chest, still straddling him. She heaved in gulps of air which slowly fueled her sense of reason - which she wasn't so sure was a good thing.

Slowly, she slid to Sam's side, tucked neatly under his arm with her leg draped over his abdomen and her hand on his chest. Tilting her head up, she hesitated to meet his eyes. What would he think of her? They barely knew each other, yet somehow she felt like she knew the entire depth of his soul as if it were her own.

"Uhm... wow?" she said tentatively having no idea how she was ever going to reconcile any of this.

He smiled, holding her a little closer. "I think that merits a wow, yeah. Maybe even a double wow." His chest rose and fell as he tried to get control over his breathing. Almost absently, he cupped the side of her face and slipped his hand up and down from her throat in a long caress. He thought the events over, from start to finish... how he'd tried to fool her into bed, how it had backfired with real feelings stirring, the things he'd shared with her in that genie bottle, and then this. "You know... I mean if you're wondering... I think this... it would have happened even without the spell, for what it's worth." He had a feeling to a girl like her, it would mean something.

"You do?" she nuzzled closer, unable to contain the smile that suddenly broke through the worry of her expression. She propped herself up so she was laying with her chin on his chest and she could see him better. "I mean... I wouldn't normally... you know... this isn't like me. I don't just jump into sex with any guy. And I mean that literally. I'm gay for God's sake!" She had to laugh at that. "I guess, that's not totally true... because... wow. Double wow," she grinned, her face glowing with delight.

"I'm thinking you're not thinking gay as in happy..." No, he wasn't slow, but what the hell was he supposed to say to that? "You mean you and... usually... okay, you cannot tell Dean." He leaned down and kissed her hard, then gave her a fierce look. "I'm serious, he's always accusing me of being a 'girl'... I'll never hear the end of it." Leaning his head back, he chuckled. "Really, huh?" Okay, he was only a guy, of course he was flattered... not that he would ever let her know... but... yeah.

"Oh... you're so not a girl. Trust me. I know from girls... and you. Not so much," she couldn't help but give him a wicked grin as she traced lazy circles on his chest. "I mean... even before the spell, I felt something. Obviously. But you know, then you had to go and try to kill me and all that..." she tried to suppress the smirk as she teased him.

He'd started to smile, froze, then smiled again. "If it's any consolation, I've died and come back... and so has Dean. Heard Buffy has. Maybe we should form a club, hmm?" His gaze dropped to her finger on his chest. "No... I'm definitely not a girl." Putting his hand on her leg, still thrown over him, he pressed lightly so she could feel his proof.

Cinnamon brows popped up at the feel of his arousal, already growing hard against her thigh. She moved her leg against him, letting out a happy sigh and kissed him gently on the mouth before brushing her lips along his chin and throat as she spoke. "You know... it's just like riding a bike," she said referring to the sex. "Though I might just need a little more practice. Not used to all this stubble..."

"You want a bike? I'll be your bike," he pulled her over him, closing his arms around her waist and kissing her as he rocked suggestively against her. "I hope you're a long distance rider," he murmured against her lips, his lips curved into a smile.

"I think I can go the distance..." she rotated her hips in a slow grind before closing her mouth over his in a heated kiss.

* * *

Four days had gone so fast, it made Sam's head spin. It was weird. He'd come to kill this girl... this woman who was probably the nicest, sweetest person he'd ever met, and then he'd practically moved in with her. She hadn't let him go back to his motel, and he hadn't wanted to, so he'd stayed. Four days of playing house. Of eating home cooked meals, of cooking with her in the kitchen. Of meeting her friends, and having them over, of being completely normal.

As he sat outside, on the steps of her porch, waiting on her, Sam ran his hand through his hair. He knew his mission. He knew that their job was to help people, save them wherever it was needed. He'd given up on his hopes, his wishes for a normal life a long time ago. But now... they were starting to haunt him again and it was unsettling.

The door opened behind him, and he looked up. He couldn't help it, he smiled whenever he saw her. "I'd say it was worth the wait," he said, looking her up and down. She didn't have to be dressed up to look hot... she just had to show up.

"Sorry, couldn't find my other comfy shoe," she said kicking up her sandal clad foot next to him, her summer dress lifting around her bare legs as the gentle breeze wafted through the porch. She plopped down on the step next to him, leaning into his body as his arm came around her. "Wouldn't want you thinking I'm high maintenance or anything," she grinned, catching that look in his eye that made her heart skip a beat.

Had it really only been four days? In that short span of time, they'd shared their lives. The highest highs and the lowest lowest. She told him about Oz and how he'd helped her come out of her shell to help make her the woman she was today and about Tara and how she'd died and how that pain had caused her to turn to the dark side. He told her about his life at Stanford with Jessica and how she'd been murdered in the same way his mother had. And it turned out he had a relationship with a werewolf too... only instead of cheating on him with another werewolf and leaving town, Sam had been forced to kill her. With all they'd shared, it was no wonder that she felt like she'd known him for years.

"Nah, I know you're not. Dean spends more time in front of the mirror than you," he chuckled. And he'd be back tomorrow, with Buffy. Teeth gritted slightly together, he let out a breath. He shouldn't ruin the rest of the day with those thoughts. "So, watcha wanna do? Museum or beach?"

Willow saw Sam's jaw tense briefly before that smile took over and lit up his face. She nuzzled against him, knowing what he was thinking. He'd be leaving soon. Too soon. But they'd promised they weren't going to dwell on that, so she didn't. "Well... there's an herbalist exhibit at the arboretum that I want to hit at some point - but it feels a little too much like work when I know I'll just be brushing up on new potential spell components. So, I vote beach. Sound good?"

"Beach... yeah, good," he closed both arms around her and kissed her, closing his eyes, memorizing her taste, how she felt in his arms, how it felt to have nothing to rush to, to sit on a porch and just... just enjoy your time. Running his fingers through her hair, he kissed her once more, then stood up, pulling her with him. "Haven't been to the beach for fun in like... forever."

Willow slipped her arm easily around his waist, fitting perfectly against his larger frame as they walked to the car. "Good. I know a place that shouldn't be too crowded," she told him.

The drive wasn't long or rushed and Willow took a little known side road that took them behind the long row of beach houses and out past the dunes. There was a spot that the beach patrol used to drive out onto the sand in an emergency, but there weren't any around now so she slipped through and tucked the car in behind an old broken pier to park. It was a beautiful sunny day and colorful kites dotted the sky a long ways down the beach, but they had this part of the sand all to themselves.

"They say the pier is haunted," she told Sam as she got out of the car with him. "It's probably not, but it keeps the locals away."

"Convenient haunting, or are you just trying to tempt me to get to work," he asked, putting one arm around her waist as they headed for the beach. "Its a beautiful spot. Peaceful." Was it crazy that he wasn't itching to get his EMF detector out? "Romantic," he added, looking down into her heart shaped face.

"That's what I was going for..." she said with an irrepressible smile. "Leave the work to Buffy and Dean. You know that's what they're doing... despite what they say." And just like that, she was back to thinking about how short their time was and she let out a small sigh as she looked out across the ocean.

Impulsively, she kicked off her sandals and started to run. "Last one to the water is a rotten egg!" she called out with a laugh.

He looked down at the sand and gave her a headstart, knowing each one of his strides were like two of hers. Leaving his shoes next to hers, he started to chase her. It wasn't really a race anymore, not when he was threatening a tickling.

Her shrieks had him laughing and holding back, only so he could drag on the torture of scaring her. They dodged around each other, she backed away from him, then tried to run past him. This time, he hooked an arm around her waist and dragged her back, his fingers at her ribs. "Who's the rotten egg? Hmm? Who?"

Willow kicked out her feet, laughing and wiggling until they both fell back into the sand. "You're rotten," she told him with a breathless smile when she came to rest laying next to him, half her body draped over his.

As she looked into his eyes... their chests rising and falling as they caught their breath, their smiles warming each other even under the cool ocean breeze... she knew then that she loved him. She wanted to tell him, but it would only make things harder when he had to go. And even though she didn't say it, she poured her feelings into a kiss and the way he responded, she knew he understood.

He enveloped her in his arms, one arm closing around her waist, the other over her back, his hand cupping the back of her head as their mouths moved over each other's. With each stroke of his tongue against hers, he allowed himself a little slice of heaven. The knowledge that he'd have to give this up soon, that he could never ask her to... to wait for him, it sharpened his need to live in the moment, to take what was being given to him, this gift.

Time passed, too fast, though he didn't know how much of it. Soon, the long lingering kisses turned into something else. He was catching fire, moaning into her mouth as he rolled them over so that he was on top, his weight on his knees as he straddled her body, and still cradled her head in his hand. He looked at her, emotions warring inside him, needs that could never be fulfilled... desires... destiny standing in the way of dreams, this was his life. "I..."

Then he was kissing her again, this time fiercely, possessively, pretending to himself that he'd never give her up. That she was his, would always be his. Because dammit... he hadn't felt this way in a long time, hadn't been with someone that he could do 'forever' with.

And just like that, words unspoken ignited a flint of passion that quickly blossomed into a wildfire of unrestrained desire. Where Willow would normally be self-conscious in public, something about Sam cut right through her inhibitions and tapped into the carnal instincts they shared. The light fabric of the summer dress eased up her thigh as she lifted her leg and her body arched up against his, straining for more direct contact.

He knew they'd just hit the beach, that it was still light out, and that though no one was around, there could be at any moment. Yeah, not so classy of him to have gotten so revved up so quickly, to be groping her legs, pushing her skirt up like this, and yet he couldn't help himself. As their kiss got even more heated, his hand moved over her panty at her side, his breath hitching as he though over pushing the material down and...

And he fucking better be certain she even wanted this to happen. Lifting himself up, he looked around then at her. "I... here?" He licked his lips, trying desperately to regain control over his breathing. "Probably not a good idea... but..."


"Probably not," Willow gasped out, even as her hips rose to close the unwelcome gap between them. The sound of the surf and feel of the sand at her back served as the perfect backdrop for something so natural as what she felt for Sam. Unable to see their future, she was forced to live in the moment. This moment.

Her hand cupped the back of his neck to pull him into a smoldering kiss and Willow opened herself to feel everything. Their combined energy was vibrant and intoxicating... more powerful than anything she had ever experienced. "Probably a very bad idea..." she said thickly, actions belying her words as her hand stroked down his arm and slipped between their bodies to work his jeans open.

He hissed out a breath as her hand brushed over his straining cock. "Not the worst idea I've ever hard," he managed, thinking ... no he'd stopped thinking a long time ago. The instant she freed him, he was pushing his pants down, getting them off as soon as he could, and then dropping back down over her. He pushed her clothes up again, the heel of his hand on her panty, grinding lightly against her wet heat. "Want to be inside you." There it was, the unvarnished truth, he wanted to be as close as he could ever get, as connected as they could ever get. "Want You."

Willow nodded wordlessly, her eyes fastened on his. She could already feel him inside her as the crackle of their combined mystical energies surged through her. She knew he could feel it too. "Want you..." she echoed his demand, her legs parting for him as she shifted in the sand to draw him closer.

His fingers curled around her panties at both sides of her hips and he slowly pulled them down and off her long, smooth legs, kissing his way back up and finding himself between her thighs. He licked her, moving his tongue over her, vibrating it as fast as he could. The breeze pushed her skirt over his head. He licked and sucked few more times, cupping her ass and raising her up slightly until he was satisfied she was ready for him.

Arching her back at the delicious and intense sensations, Willow fisted the sand and her sides and let out a whimper of pleasure as she squirmed and bucked against him.

Pushing her skirt off his head, he gave her a strained smile, the dark energies flowing between them making it hard for him to keep it light. He knew she felt it too, a connection like no other he'd ever experienced... it tugged at him at soul level. Covering her body with his, he he pulled her up hard against him, one hand cupping her ass, the other on the side of her face, guiding her mouth to his. Between hard kisses, he pushed inside her, moaning at how tight... how perfect she felt around him as he sank into her wet heat. "Willow..."

Eyes wild with desire, Willow let out a primal moan, sheathing tight around his rock hard length. Hand tight around the back of his head, she devoured him in a hungry torrent of kisses, tasting herself on his lips, sharing every part of herself with him.

"Sam..." she hissed, locking her legs around his hips to hold him steady. "Don't move," she said on a breathless pant. She felt the pulse of his cock throbbing inside her, thrumming against her core as he strained to remain still. "Sam. You... what you do to me. What we are... together..." She closed her eyes and reached out to him through her senses until the natural rhythms of their bodies merged into one.

One hand flat on the ground next to her head, holding some of his weight up, Sam's arm muscles bulged as he strained, forced himself to remain motionless despite his natural instinct to rock into her. Gritting his teeth, head thrown back, eyes screwed shut, he rode the waves of their power, flowing between them, his breaths growing labored as his need heightened. "God... please..." He opened his eyes, heart pounding against his chest.

When she opened her eyes and locked her gaze on his again, she smiled. Green eyes speckled with gold sparked with pure joy. "So amazing..." Slowly, she moved her hips, grinding her backside into the sand as she pulled him deeper until she finally released her leg lock to allow him to pull back, but she followed the movement with a quick jerk to draw him right back where he was, buried deep in her molten center.

He tried to move slowly, tried for a slow build up, but a few moments of staring into her eyes as she pulled him inside, release, and pulled again... with muscle control that he'd never thought possible, and he knew there was no way. Drawing in a breath, he crashed his mouth down over hers, teeth clinking, tongues tangling as he started to thrust. So hot, she was so hot, his Willow... maybe his other... the missing part of his soul. Groaning, he rolled over onto his back, taking her with him, afraid that he'd be too rough on the sands. He gripped her hip, his other hand splayed wide across her belly, moving up and down, sand raining down on him from her body. "Now," he said, lifting up, making her ride him hard. "Let's get there, now."

Muscles tightened and flexed as she took up his request with reckless abandon. Her sun dress cascaded over her thighs and she rocked forward, dragging her fingernails down his chest, the overwhelming warmth of his flesh igniting the fire into a blazing inferno. Throwing her head back, her red hair spilled down her back, lifting with the wind and whipping around her face. Clear blue skies above, sand dunes to the front of her, the roar of the ocean at her back, and Sam... They were one with the elements. United in mind, body, and soul.

Faster, slower, harder, softer. The rhythm never faltered until finally Willow seized around him, her unabashed cries of ecstasy sending a flock of gulls launching into the air.

Lifting his hips up off the ground, holding in that position, impaling her as she clenched around him, Sam barely bit back the shout that welled in his throat. His entire body tightened, strained as he watched her come apart, and then he was releasing deep inside her, bucking, pulling her down on him, groaning out here name, until he collapsed back down onto the sand. He pulled her down so she was sprawled over him, kissing her, loving how she felt, how she tasted. Not knowing how or if he'd ever let go of this.

Willow heaved in great gulps of air, reveling in the sensations that coiled through until her muscles gave out and she flopped down on top of him. Suddenly giddy, she felt a tickle start to ripple through her, blossoming into laughter as if she were drunk on the affects of their love. Eyes shining, she propped herself up to look at Sam, batting at his tousled hair to send bits of sand flying.

There they were, tangled up on the beach. His jeans flung carelessly to the side and her panties half buried somewhere nearby. The brightly colored kites still bobbed and wove through the wind currents held by unseen people on the other side of the dunes. And Willow wasn't the least bit embarrassed they'd just ravished each other in under the bright sun on a public beach.

"I love you," she told him. She hadn't meant to... she knew that it didn't really need saying out loud. But her heart had other ideas. And there it was.

"That's amazing," he answered, his heart swelling as he laughed with her. "Cause I do too... love you." And yeah, life always had a way of fucking up his best laid plans, but this time... this time he didn't care, he welcomed it.

* * *

"Chicago."

Sam had stupidly repeated their next destination when Dean had told him the location of their next hunt and walked out to the car to take stock of what weapons and supplies they needed to replenish. Eventually the numb feeling wore away, he pulled his face up out of his hands and pushed up off the comfortable couch. His gaze went to the mug of coffee he'd just finished, and then to the door to the hallway. He could hear the girls talking and laughing inside.

Letting out a heavy breath, he walked out into the sunshine, one hand sliding over the wooden post as he went down the porch steps. On the street level, he walked to where Dean was bent over, taking inventory in the trunk of the car.

"I hear they have killer pizza," Dean said without looking up. "They named a whole friggin crust style after it, but I bet there's nothing like the original. My mouth is watering already..." he said with a low chuckle as he shifted the bag of rock salt to see how many silver bolts they had left.

"Who? Oh, Chicago, yeah. Pie style or something," he said in a distinctly disinterested tone. Moving in next to Dean, he started shifting things around. "The shotgun was misfiring last time I used it," he said, pulling it out and knowing Dean would take care of it. He looked toward the apartment building then back. "So how long you figure this hunt will take." As if that mattered. There would be another one, and the next one...

Dean took the weapon and cracked it open and as he sighted down the inside of the barrel, he saw Sam glancing back to Buffy and Willow's place. Snapping the shotgun closed he tucked it back into the trunk, making a mental note to oil the chokes. "Your guess is as good as mine," he answered evenly as he brought his gaze up to meet his brother's. "Going to have to establish ourselves as regulars if we want a ticket into the underground. A couple weeks... maybe a month. Probably more."

Sam raised his chin in a acknowledgment. More than a month.

So maybe he was exaggerating, but Dean had to know. And when he saw the cord in Sam's neck flex and that kicked puppy look in his eyes, he knew. And that's when he made up his mind. Turning back to the trunk, Dean gathered up a few things he knew he could spare and shoved them in a duffel. "You know what Sammy? I got this one," he pushed the canvas bag at his brother with a hard fought smile.

Catching it, Sam's gaze locked with Dean's. A month, with her... time to see what it would be like to have a normal life, to see where what they had lead them. His heart said 'yes'... no it said 'hell yes... don't be an idiot.' So what if he skipped one hunt? This was important too. He blinked, and thought he saw something in Dean's eyes, like his brother was letting him go.

Licking his lips, he said. "Dean I... Look man, I just..."

"I know," Dean cut in. "But you've got a real shot at something here..." His voice held steady despite the strain of emotion that had his chest tightening. "I've seen the way you look at her when she doesn't know you're looking." He paused and looked away briefly, eyes following a bird back to its nest in the big elm tree at the edge of the property. "Dude, you helped her make beef stroganoff last night and it was friggin' awesome!" he said with a deep chuckle, but his expression sobered quickly as he caught the strangled look in Sam's eyes. "You deserve a shot at something normal. Dad took that away from you. I want to give it back."

"Thanks." Rubbing the heel of his hand into his eye, then through his hair, Sam switched back into the mode of figuring out the supplies that were still needed. "Pass me the..." he nodded toward a small bag, and once Dean did, he checked the inside. "Running a little low on silver bullets. I can take care of that."

Dean gave Sam a long look as he continued the inventory, but he didn't say anything more on the subject. He'd put it out there and he meant to stick to it, but Sam would have to make up his own mind on this one. "Could use some more herbs for hex bags, too. Bet Willow gets a kickass discount at the local hoodoo shop. Should stock up."

"M'kay, I'll take care of that too."

The brothers fell into routine, dividing up the tasks that would need to be undertaken before the next hunt began.

* * *

Dean was packing the car. From the porch, Sam could see him and Buffy by the car, talking... saying their good byes. He turned to the door as Willow walked out, and made some room for her on the steps, searching her face. She looked a bit stressed too. He looked down, wiping his palms on his jeans.

Willow dropped down next to Sam, watching Buffy and Dean. It seemed so easy for them. She knew it wasn't. She knew how much Buffy hated being apart from Dean, but they'd worked it out. Somehow... this life... the long distance, random visit thing worked for them. Willow didn't know how, but somehow it would work for her and Sam too. Somehow.

"I made you something," she said opening her hand to reveal a charm on a black cord.

He looked up, eyeing the charm dangling from the cord and and putting his hand out. "What did you make" he asked, trying to force a little cheer into his voice. He lifted his eyes to hers and knew if he left, he'd be regretting it all the way to Chicago.

A tiny smile pulled at the edge of her mouth as she reached around his neck to fasten the cord, her fingers deftly moving along the length of the cord and tucking it inside his shirt. She smoothed her hand over the charm, her hand flat against his chest as she looked into his eyes. "It will help you control your power," she explained. "It's infused with our combined energies. So... it's like the essence of our connection," she explained as best she could.

"Seriously?" A smile tugged the corners of his mouth. "So if I touch it, I'm... basically touching you?" He liked that idea, even if it wasn't quite accurate. "Thank you."

Taking her hand, he leaned in and kissed her lightly on the mouth.

They sat like that, quiet for a while. It was never awkward when each of them was deep in thought and not speaking, he liked that. He licked his lips. "Dean said... he offered to take this hunt alone." His eyes locked with hers and whereas he was hoping to find answers, he saw his own confusion reflected back at him.

"What do you mean?" she asked, her heart beat quickening, her expression shifting to one full of sudden hope. "Like... so you could stay a little while longer?" But just as quickly, she squelched the hope and her brows drew together. "But, you guys are a team. What if... what if something happened?"

"I know." She was saying all the things that he was thinking. "I know."

Sam took a deep breath. "It's tempting. I mean these few days here, they've been amazing. I mean really amazing." He looked toward the Impala, then back at her. "I know what I want, but its not always the right thing, you know? Not in the 'it would be wrong' sort of way, but more like in the duty calls way."

"Hmmm," Willow said noncommittally, the crease on her forehead growing deeper. After a long silence she took a breath and decided if she didn't speak her mind, she might just regret it for the rest of her life. "Duty? Is that what it's about for you? Don't get me wrong because... trust, me, I get that. Buffy's all about duty... being the Chosen One and all. But I thought this thing you do... the hunting. I didn't think it was about duty. I thought it was something more than that. I thought it was deeper. Like it's something you need to do because it's who you are."

Suddenly feeling uncertain, she shifted on the stairs so she was facing him, taking his hand in hers. "What we have? It's... well... there really aren't words to describe it. But I know you feel it," she moved his hand to his chest, lacing her fingers with his as she held it there, amplifying the flow of their joined energies caressing their very souls. "And I have to say... I'm not so sure I'm prepared to let that go for something as utilitarian as duty."

"Even when your duty has to do with..." He put his hand over hers, and he did feel her energy pulse against his own life force, connected in a way he'd never felt with any other person. "We're in the business of stopping the apocalypse, these days," he said. "Not an apocalypse, but the apocalypse." Sometimes it felt like a lost cause, and he wondered if he should just give up, spend whatever time there was left doing the things he wanted. Then he usually woke up.

"I'm in the same business... remember? And there's always another apocalypse around the corner," Willow answered. "I mean, I get it. You've got the Four Horseman stampeding hot on your heels. But either you stop them or you get trampled and someone else stops them or gets trampled. If everybody gets trampled, none of this matters. But if you or someone else stops this apocalypse, there'll be another one around the corner."

Her brow furrowed. She knew she wasn't really explaining this very well. "Look. Sam... you said you know what you want, but then there's duty, so you feel like you have to do what's right, not necessarily what you want. It would be entirely possible to throw duty out the window without regrets... people do it all the time. But think about it. What you and Dean do... I think it's deep inside you. And I think it goes beyond duty."

Willow felt her eyes moisten. She had a chance to convince him to stay, but here she was, convincing him why he needed to go. "I-I think it's deeper then this even..." she squeezed his hand tighter, tears brimming to her eyes. "And that's okay. But Sam, please tell me if I'm wrong. Because if I'm wrong and all this is just about duty..." the word caught in her throat and came out as a hoarse whisper. "Stay."

He frowned, thought hard for a while. "Breeding," he finally managed. "It's in the blood. Hunters," he said, his own voice reflecting his anguish. Maybe he could settle down for a while, but like she'd said, it was deep this thing... he'd always want to go out there, to hunt, to save people. "I can't... I want to... I want to so bad, Willow..." he drew her close, enveloping her small frame in his arms, and whispering against her ear. "But I can't. I got to be out there, with Dean. He doesn't believe in destiny but I... I guess I do."

Willow nodded against his chest, sniffling back her tears. "I know..." she murmured softly, gripping him tight. Sam had told her his history and Willow had listened with her heart. There might have been a time when he hunted because it was what his father expected and then because it was what he thought Dean expected. But it had grown into something more than that. She felt it in him that very first day they met. "I know..." she repeated, burying her head and refusing to release the embrace. Just because she knew it was the way it had to be didn't make it any easier.

When she finally drew back, she cupped his face and kissed him, tears spilling freely down her cheeks. "I love you so much. But I'll always be with you. Okay?" She reached for the charm and clutched it against his chest.

He felt his eyes sting, grimaced, trying to force back some of his emotions, keep them under control. He kissed her back, tasting her tears, tasting her sweetness, his own hand cupping her cheek. "I love you too, I just... how can I ask that of you? It wouldn't be fair." He knew Dean and Buffy had that deal but that didn't mean that he would expect Willow to embrace it.

"You're not asking anything of me. I'm giving you this... because it's what I want," she told him plainly. She didn't need him to say he'd be true to her because what they had transcended sex. She had never been more confident of anything in her life. They belonged to each other. "And besides," she said with a smile and a sniffle. "I know you'll be back around here soon enough with Dean behind the wheel. Don't think wild horses or even Four Horseman could keep him away from Buffy for too long."

He laughed finally. "I'll be sure that we find a lot more hunts out here, in California." Hearing the car's horn, he got up, pulling her with him. "Maybe some time we could take you guys with us, if a hunt is close by," he mused, putting one arm around her waist as they walked down the stairs and saw that Dean was already in the car, and Buffy was leaning into his window.

When they reached the car, Sam turned his back to the car and pulled Willow into his arms. "Back as soon as I can," he told her, meaning every word as he slanted his mouth over hers and kissed her hard, molding her closer, not giving a damn who passed by and saw them. He loved this woman, and one way or another, he was going to make this work for them.

Her cheeks were still wet with tears, but she wasn't crying anymore. It was strange, but she felt happy knowing that he was following what was in his soul even if it took him away from her. The hunt may have his soul, but she knew she had his heart. His kiss took her breath away and as he dragged her up his longer body, their hearts met, pounding together in perfect harmony. When he finally set her back down on her feet, she tilted her face up to his with a sunny smile.

With her hand over his chest, she fingered the charm lay beneath his shirt. "I'm always with you," she channeled a trickle of her energy into him, tickling his senses playfully. Slowly she stepped away until her hand dropped to her side.

As Sam got into the car next to Dean, Buffy joined her and Willow wrapped her arm around her friend holding her tight.

Dean looked over at Sam, eyes slightly bloodshot. This would normally be the time where he'd make some crass joke to lighten the mood, but somehow it didn't feel right. Just like he had, Sam had made the hard choice. He just hoped he'd found happiness... just like he had.

With a tap of his foot, the Impala rumbled away from the curb and they hit the road out of Sunnydale.

Sam turned his head slightly, looking in the rear view mirror until Willow was no longer visible. Not there, here. His hand rested over the amulet she'd given him, and a small smile played on his mouth.

(A/N: So - please let us know whether you like this Xover het pairing, or what you would prefer to see. I write a lot of slash and am trying to see what het pairings work for readers.)

The End

The End

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