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Poor Xander

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Summary: Response to the "To Boldly Go" challenge. Joint Overdrive Nagging Annoyance Service or J.O.N.A.S. courtesy of Dawn and Andrew. Poor Xander.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > J.O.N.A.S.carmsficFR1311,0091198119 Sep 0919 Sep 09Yes
Joint Overdrive Nagging Annoyance Service or J.O.N.A.S. courtesy of Dawn and Andrew. Poor Xander.



I don't own any recognizable characters. They are the product of their respective companies. Please don't sue me.



Xander couldn't believe his luck. He once again drew the short straw and must now to go to New Jersey to try and recruit a newly activated slayer. He doesn't even know why he even bothers to play against Buffy, Willow and Faith when he always looses. He sourly made his way to his quarters and to his half unpacked back that he dropped off yesterday only to have to repack it today to catch the next plane out of Cleveland for New Jersey.

His packing efforts were interrupted by frantic knocking on the door. Puzzled as to who could be knocking on his door when usually people never bother with such niceties, Xander cautiously approached the door. Curious he set aside his packing and opened the door to face the bickering duo of Andrew and Dawn. It took the two "visitors" a few moments to realize that Xander had already answered their knock. Then a new shoving match ensued as Dawn and Andrew both tried to encourage to other to "ask Xander."


The shoving match lasted a few more moments before Xander got fed up and released a piercing whistle. "That's enough! What did you want to ask me?!"


Dawn startled by Xander's actions placed a bit too much force in her shove and sent Andrew careening towards Xander at a fast clip. Xander stepped aside at the exact moment to avoid a collision which caused Andrew to crash into the doorway quite painfully.


"Oops," Dawn said with a wince as she rushed forward to help Andrew up.


Once Andrew was upright once the bickering between him and Dawn started up once again.


"Hey you pushed me! That hurt! You should have to ask!" Andrew said in a whining voice.


"Nah Ahh! You ask! I'm just the secretary you are the Vice President! You should have to ask!" Dawn heatedly rebutted.


"That's right you have a lower station than me I order you to ask!" crowed out loud as if he found a new reason to live.


"You're not the boss of me you can't make me ask! You ask!" Dawn denied vehemently as she took a deep breath as if in preparation for a long argument.


"I am so the boss of you!" Andrew reminded Dawn in a self righteous manner.


Sensing that matters where about to degenerate to more childish affairs Xander decided to nip the argument in the bud by interrupting the bickering.


"ENOUGH! Andrew! Just ask me the question!"


Andrew's eyes widened at Xander's raised voice and took a large gulp before stuttering out his question. "Is it true that you were assigned to do a "Meet and Greet" for the new slayer that replaced one that passed away last week?"


At Xander's affirmative nod, Andrew took another breath before proceeding but not before he was prodded by Dawn a few times to hurry up. "Is it also true that the new slayer's name is Macy Misa from Wycoff, New Jersey?"


"Yes, Andrew that's correct. Why are you asking me this? This information is available downstairs in the Slayer registry you and Dawn didn't have to come up here to ask me. What is this really about?" Xander said as he tried to cut to the chase since time is running short before he has to leave and head to the airport for his flight to New Jersey.


This time it was Dawn who answered the question. "Ohpleasepleasepleasepleaseletuscomewithyouyouwontevennoticewearethere! I promise!"


It took Xander a few seconds to decipher Dawn's babbled sentence and he tensed up upon reaching the meaning. "Oh no! Absolutely not! Under no condition am I taking the two of you with me! Last time I let the two of you tag along I ended up arrested by the New York Police Department for public indecency after you locked me out of the hotel room in only my boxers that to this day I'm still not sure how it happened. All I can remember is one moment I was sleeping the next I was getting escorted into the back of a black and white. You will have to come up with a very good reason as to why I would even consider this matter."

Dawn and Andrew visibly shrank back at the reminder of their last visit to New York but perked up when Xander gave them the opportunity to present a reason to go but they quickly deflated added onto his previous statement.


"Before you answer you both should know that I had just come home last night after spending almost 3 days dealing with the baby slayers from South Dakota. I'm tired, cranky and in still itching from the itching powder one of the little ones slipped into my luggage as revenge for taking the last Twinky. So please know that any mention of JONAS or any of the members of the JONAS fan club will be treated as an act of aggression and can result in a prank war."


Dawn and Andrew quickly closed their mouths but it didn't stop them from giving him the pouting lips and puppy dog eyes. It was a true testament of Xander's exposure to the wiles of girls and women everywhere that he managed to stand firm for all of two minutes before Dawn added the quivering lip move as if she were about to cry before he gave in.



"Alright! Alright! I can't stand the puppy dog eyes! Fine you can both go but know this I am not bailing either of you out if any of the JONAS members files a restraining order on you!"



AN: The show is one my little brother claims not to watch but religiously TiVo. It’s thanks to his help that I even knew the pertaining character names. Buffy is owned by Joss Whedon and the powers that be and J.O.N.A.S. is owned by Disney.



The End

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