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I’m Your Baby’s Daddy: House

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This story is No. 16 in the series "Who's Your Baby's Daddy?". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: *Part of ‘Who's Your Baby's Daddy?’ series* House learns the results of the paternity test and talks to Wilson about what it means. Then he talks to Buffy. **With fanart by rutterla** WARNING: Character Death!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > House, M.D. > Buffy-Centered(Current Donor)mmoochFR15920,399616636,12227 Sep 0928 Nov 10Yes

Chapter 2: Welcoming Committee

Chapter 2: Welcoming Committee
Challenge: #3064 ‘conception by conspiracy *non-stargate*’ by shelli.

Thanks to my betas: zigpal and AshDawnSoulmates.

Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. House, MD characters belong to David Shore and Fox. If you recognize any other characters from other fandoms, I don’t own them either. Full disclaimer is listed in the series summary. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

Hospital conference room
One month later…

Foreman looked at the other two underlings of House with a hopeful expression. “So, has anyone figured out what’s up with House yet?” he inquired.

“No, and he was really disturbing today,” Chase answered with a bit of a shudder

Concerned, Cameron asked, “What’d he do?”

“His clinic hours. And none of his patients complained about him,” he added dramatically.

Foreman couldn’t believe it. “You’re kidding! None? Are you even sure he treated any?” he checked.

Nodding, Chase told them, “Yes. He had the clinic staff worried as well. After the fourth patient left quietly, the admitting nurse got suspicious and talked to the fifth patient. You know what the patient – with a genital itch – told her?”

“I shudder to ask. House plus a possible sexually transmitted disease?” Cameron winced at the variety of crude things he could come up with.

But Chase just shook his head. “She told the nurse how relieved she was to get such a professional doctor!”

“House? That clinches it! Something is seriously wrong with that man!” Foreman slammed his hand down on the table.

“Should we really be complaining about this? He’s actually being a decent human being for once,” Cameron offered hesitantly. Personally, she was freaked out, but it might make him a better doctor.

“It’s just unnatural!” Foreman disagreed. “And you know that sometimes it’s House’s crappy bedside manner that gets us the necessary info to treat a patient.”

Chase thought about that argument, then said, “We need to figure this out.”

Knowing she was outnumbered – and possibly wrong – Cameron caved, “Alright. Let’s grab the white board.”

For the next hour, they wrote the things they knew, and tossed around theories. When Cuddy poked her head in to check on them, they jumped practically out of their chairs.

“Crap!” Foreman cursed. “We shouldn’t have this thing facing the door. What if she’d been House?”

Cuddy stepped into the room, curious about that was going on. “What are you doing that you don’t want House to know about?” She looked at the board. “Oh, thank god! Any luck in figuring him out?”

“No. We’re running out of ideas, too. Do you have any?” Cameron questioned.

The hospital administrator studied the board closer, then pointed out, “Well, this has been going on longer than a month.”

“What do you mean?” Chase asked, surprised that they had missed something.

“His less snarly behavior started then, but the first overall change in him was a couple weeks before that,” Cuddy reminded them.

Cameron thought back and realized, “She’s right.”

But Chase couldn’t remember the change. “How much before?”

“Well, the first thing that come to my attention was when he called the physical therapy department for an appointment. They called me to make sure it wasn’t a joke – which I had to check with him. That was the end of June,” Cuddy said, trying to recall if it was the 29th or 30th.

Foreman pressed on, feeling that they were finally getting somewhere, “Do you remember anything else strange about that day?”

Stunned that she had forgotten, Cuddy remarked almost absently, “There were those visitors for him and Wilson.”

“Visitors?” Foreman repeated.

“Yes. They were in the auditorium until I tracked Wilson down,” Cuddy replied. She was trying to replay every word of her conversation with them for any clue, but couldn’t come up with any.

Cameron went for the obvious question, “What were they like?”

“She was young, blonde, pretty. He was a bit older than me, brown hair, good looking. Both were nice,” Cuddy rattled off the description. She could just kick herself for not thinking about this sooner.

Pulling her out of those thoughts, Chase asked, “Did they say what they wanted to talk to House and Wilson about?”

Cuddy shook her head regretfully, “No, but both guys seemed kind of out of it for the rest of the day.”

Foreman finished writing the new information on the board, then stood back to look at it. “Hmm. What does that tell us? Assuming we can tie House’s sudden interest in therapy to their visit, what could they have told him that would do that?” he posed the question to the room.

“Unless she’s into kinky, three-way sex, I doubt it has anything to do with a romantic relationship,” Chase was the first to offer a theory, then dismiss it.

Cameron glared at him for coming up with that one. “Ughh! Thanks for the mental image!”

He just defended himself, “I’m just saying, she wouldn’t have needed to talk to both of them.”

Foreman picked up his train of thought and took it another direction, “Same reasoning if she was a love child – unless her mother slept with both of them and isn’t sure which one is the father.”

“Can we please get away from this line of thinking?” Cuddy pleaded. “What else?”

“Money? A better job? But only if House gets off the pain meds?” Cameron suggested.

Cuddy considered it for a minute before shooting it down, “Maybe. But he’s gotten job offers before. He usually uses them to get something from the hospital.”

Just then, Foreman’s stomach rumbled. “Well, I’m getting too hungry to think straight. Let’s take a break and grab something to eat.”

“Sounds good,” the others chorused.


Wilson paid the cashier, then turned to scan the cafeteria for his friend. When he located him, he found an odd sight. No hospital staff was sitting near him, but many throughout the room were sending nervous glances his way. Okay, that wasn’t strange; what was, however, was House himself. He was oblivious to the havoc he caused while he ate his lunch…with a very happy expression on his face.

Not at all concerned by it, he went over and commented as he sat down, “So…you’re extra cheery today. Dare I ask why?”

House grinned at him. “She’s going to be at the house soon. She called to say they were picking up the keys from the realtor.”

“That’s great! Should we bring dinner over later?” Wilson wondered. Would that be too pushy of them?

For the first time, House’s expression fell slightly. Apparently, that was his idea as well. “I don’t know. They may still be in the hotel; depends on the movers.”

Just then, the PA squawked, “Doctor House to Emergency. Doctor House to Emergency.… Doctor Wilson to Emergency. Doctor Wilson to Emergency.”

A feeling of dread swept over Wilson. The odds were against it being her, but the fact they called for both him and House – on the day she got to town? “You don’t think--?” he started to ask, but House was already rushing out the door as fast as his leg would allow.

Emergency room

“What’s the problem?” House bellowed out impatiently as soon as he walked through the doors.

The admitting nurse cringed when she heard the voice. That man had the worst reputation for being a pain in anyone’s ass. “A patient asked for you and Dr. Wilson by name,” she informed him, wondering to herself why she would ever ask for House.

House began looking around the area for something or someone. When he didn’t find it, he barked at the nurse again, “Where is she?”

She was startled. Had she said the patient was a woman? “How did you--? She’s in examine four,” the nurse said, not really caring anymore. She just wanted to get rid of him as quick as possible.

Examine room 4

Before the door was closed, House started shooting out his questions, “Buffy! What happened? Are you alright? Is the baby okay?”

Buffy was touched by his obvious concern. However, it didn’t change the fact she was in a hospital – someplace she hated to be. “I’m fine! I need you to tell them to let me go. Mom and Giles were hurt worse than me.”

“So you were hurt,” he accused.

Now she rolled her eyes. “Barely. I sprained my wrist when I braced myself on the side of the car. The other vehicle hit Mom’s side and I think she broke something. Giles got banged up, too. Please let me see them!” she pleaded, adding her pout for good measure.

Which had more of an effect on Wilson than on House at the moment. “I’ll find out what’s going on with them. You just rest there for now,” Wilson replied kindly.

After he left, House calmed down a little. He could see with his own eyes that she appeared to be alright – at least externally. “Now, what happened?”

“We were driving to the house when a car ran a red light. All of us were wearing our seatbelts and I was in the back, so no problems there.” Buffy’s eyes watered with tears when she continued, “But the guy smashed into the front end of Mom’s side pretty hard.”

“They said the baby was okay, too?” House prodded. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about the others. Okay, so he didn’t care much. But her being upset about them wouldn’t be good for her or the baby.

Buffy nodded reassuringly, “Uh-huh. Nice strong heartbeat. They were going to do an ultrasound, but I thought you’d want to be here for that.” She re-settled herself on the bed, and smiled at him. “So, nice to see you again. How ya doin’?” she asked conversationally.

Caught off guard by her abrupt change in subject, House snarked, “I’ll tell you when my heart rate is back to normal.”

“Not exactly how I pictured my first day here. I figured if I ended up in the hospital, it would be because a box fell on me or something,” she teased.

“Please don’t joke like that,” House reprimanded her. His mind was instantly filled with images of crates crushing her.

Seeing that he was genuinely upset, Buffy apologized, “Sorry.”

Fortunately for them, Wilson came in, breaking the tension that was mounting. “Hey! Look who I found!”

Buffy looked at who came in behind Wilson and her face lit up – much to House’s annoyance. She didn’t smile that much when he came in. “Giles! Whoa, you look awful! Almost as bad as Stark did when we left.”

Giles smirked at the memory, “That bad, huh? I’m relieved to see you are looking well. Everything is alright with both of you?” he asked pointedly.

She nodded, “Yep. Just waiting to hear about Mom, then the doctor wants to do an ultrasound.”

Wilson took that as his cue to relay the information he got, “Well, you were correct about your mother; her right leg was broken in two places. The breaks are clean, though, so they should heal well. She also struck her head pretty hard on the window. They’ve taken her for a CAT scan.”

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. It sounded like everyone was mostly okay. Then her face screwed up in confusion. “Why didn’t you get one, Giles?” she demanded.

“The airbag blunted the majority of the blow. My injuries – ironically enough – were mostly due to the airbag itself,” Giles remarked with a dry grimace.


Starting to feel like a third wheel, House cut in, “Can we do the ultrasound now?”

“I guess,” Buffy allowed reluctantly. “Mom was there for the last one.”

“Did you find out if it’s a boy or girl yet?” House asked.

She shook her head, “Nope. Did you want to?” Buffy offered.

House was uncharacteristically shy about telling her, so he hedged, “It’s your choice.”

“You do want to.” Then she looked at Wilson and asked, “He does want to, doesn’t he?”

“Probably,” Wilson answered with a smirk. It was kind of fun to see his friend so off balance. Buffy was going to be an interesting addition to the hospital.

Remembering it didn’t work out at the last ultrasound, Buffy commented, “Let’s see if the doc can tell us this time.”

A few minutes later…

The ER doctor’s eyes widened when he took in the three men standing with his patient. “Wow! Did you sell tickets for this? Hello, doctors,” he greeted the men Buffy had requested. He was very curious why they were here.

“Yeah, yeah. You’ve got a great bedside manner. Can you just get on with it now?” House snapped.

Buffy raised an eyebrow at his brusque behavior. “Geez, you always this friendly?”

Wilson answered for his friend, “Sadly, this is friendly for House. Usually, he’d be swearing or pushing the doctor out of his way so he could do it himself.”

“Oh great!” she muttered. Just what she needed from the father of her child.

The ER doctor just gave a bland smile, though. “Well, before he does either of those things, let’s see what we have here. Did you decided if you want to know what you’re having?” he inquired.

Buffy couldn’t help but smirk at the question. If he only knew that they had some doubts when she first found out. “I assume it’s a baby, but you never can tell. However, as for the baby’s sex…yes, we’d like to know if it’s a boy or girl.”

The doctor turned to look at Giles. “We? This is the father?”

House growled softly, startling Buffy. “No, I am! Now get started before I do it for you!”

“Alright. Hmmm…like I said before, good heartbeat. No signs of trauma.” He smiled at the image on the screen. “We seem to be in luck today; baby is cooperating. Congratulations, you’re having a…”

A/N: I know, I’m the worst kind of evil for leaving it like that. But just so you know, I was tempted to fake the chapter with the line “Buffy and the baby died.” So, it could have been worse.

A/N: Next…Now they just have to figure out how she got pregnant without having sex with House – ‘cause they just can’t see her doing that.
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