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Stewie can do better.

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Summary: Stewie gets disgusted with the first season BTVS.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Family Guy
Stargate > Xander-Centered > Theme: Humor
RafMereCFR1534171,628718751,71230 Sep 0913 Apr 10No

You call that a nightmare?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Family Guy belongs to some other Guy. Seth MacFarlane and Fox Broadcasting Company. BTVS belongs to Joss Whedon.


*Mental conversation*



Summers Residence, 1630 Revello Drive, Stewie's Basement Lab.





Stewie did a final check on his isolated systems. Moloch was still running the maze and a Stewie A.I. was chasing him with a battalion of Barney's singing the 'I Love You...' song. The Stewie A.I. was a simple construct. It would be quite some time before it would be read to use for his bigger plans to take over Microsoft world wide.

'But an evil genius has to start somewhere. From humble beginnings and so on...' he thinks as he makes sure the indoctrination couch was all set. This was a more sophisticated version than what he used on Harmony and the girls.

'Everything ready for tonight. Just need to get mother out of the house. With Buffy and Dawn leaving with the sperm donor, I should have the house to myself.' he thinks, as he secures the basement lab and goes back school.

He takes out his PDA and checks off a couple of items on his list. 'Let's see, after tonight, I think Mister Giles and Miss Calendar are on for later tonight. I really have to cut back a little bit somewhere. I need to some sleep tonight. I guess I could leave rebuilding Harmony's personality for another time.'



Sunnydale Hospital, Hallway.





Buffy and Giles look for Laura's room. "I think they said room 3016." says Buffy looking for the room number.

"Do you know the girl?" asks Giles.

"To say hi to. Laura's nice enough. Nobody saw who attacked her?" she says.

"Well, I was rather hoping that Laura did." he tells her.

Inside Laura's room. Buffy and Giles see that, she has cuts and bruises all over. Laura sees them and looks up at Buffy.

"Hey, Laura." says Buffy.

"Hi." says Laura.

"I hope we're not intruding, um..." Giles says, as he holds out a small potted flower arrangement. Buffy takes it from him
and sets it next to the bed.

"That's okay. I don't wanna be left alone." says Laura.

"You understand we're anxious to make sure this, this doesn't happen again." he tells her.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Buffy asks Laura, as she sits next to her on the bed.

"I was in the basement. I went down for a smoke. There was... someone there..." Laura begins her story.

"Someone you knew?" asks Buffy interrupting her.

"...I've never... seen anything like it." she says remembering the painful encounter.

"It?" asks Buffy, as she exchanges a look with Giles.

"Can you describe it?" Giles asks Laura.

Laura is having trouble talking about it and can't answer.

"Hey, that's okay. Don't worry about it." Buffy tells her.

"Yes, you, you, you just rest now." says Giles.

"You know, but..." the nurse comes in interrupting the interview. "...i-if you remember anything? You can tell us. Even if it may seem weird." says Buffy.

"Hi, Laura." says the Nurse to Laura, "She needs her rest now." she tells Buffy and Giles.

Giles and Buffy start to go.

"'Lucky nineteen.'" says Laura.

Buffy and Giles stop and turn around.

"I'm sorry?" asks Giles.

"It's what he said, right before... He said 'lucky nineteen'. That's weird, right?" asks Laura.

"Yes. Yes, it is." he replies.

"Feel better." Buffy tells her with a reassuring smile.

"Take care." says Giles, as they leave the room. In the hall. Giles sees her doctor there. "Doctor, is she gonna be alright?" he asks.

"You family?" asks the Doctor.

"Friends." replies Buffy.

"She'll recover. She's got a couple of shattered bones, a little internal bleeding... she got off pretty easy." says the Doctor.

"Easy?" asks Buffy.

"Have you looked up the word lately?" asks Giles.

"Well, the first one's still in a coma." says the Doctor, as he stop at another room.

"First what?" asks Buffy.

"First victim." he says looking into the room. "They found him a week ago. Exact same M.O. as the girl, only he's in worse shape. If he doesn't wake up soon... Somebody's gotta stop this guy."

"Somebody will." promises Buffy.



Sunnydale High School, Classroom.





"I'm just saying, Wendell had a dream and then that exact thing happened." says Willow.

"Which is a fair wiggins, I admit, but do you think that ties in with Laura?" replies Xander.

"I dunno. Maybe she dreamed about getting beat up. We should ask Buffy when she gets back from the hospital." says Willow.

Willow closes her locker. As they head to their next class Stewie joins them. So I take it we have a problem with nightmares coming true?" he asks.

"It could be a coincidence. Y'know, Wendell finds a spider's nest, and we all wig because he dreamt about spiders. So it may not be connected." Xander tells Stewie.

*What's really going on?* he asks Xander.

*Willow thinks it's a demon, but we haven't found anything in the books yet.*

They enter the classroom. The students see Xander and Stewie come in and start to laugh.

"If there is a connection it doesn't sound like anything... What?" asks Xander.

Stewie looks down at notices his lack of clothes. He was nude and Xander was in his boxers.

Willow is confused, and looks behind her at Xander and Stewie. Their clothes are gone, and Xander's standing there in his underwear, while Stewie is without a stitch of clothing.

"Xander! Stewie! What happened to your...?!" Willow asks.

"I-I-I dunno! I was, uh, dressed a minute ago! It's a dream. It's gotta be a dream." he says, as pinches himself. "Ow! Wake up." Stewie pinches Xander "Ow! Hey! You're supposed to pinch yourself, not me." he complains. "Gotta wake up." he says.

He realizes he's not dreaming before he runs out from the room screaming, Stewie orders him to stand his ground. *Stay where you are. these sheep will not drive us away. We are the predators. Not them.*

"You laughing boy. Yes you. First of all grow up! Second: Take off your shirt." Stewie commands Jacob Reynolds.

"W-What? No way." he says as he tries to push Stewie away.

Stewie grabs his hand and puts Jacob in a painful hold. "The rest of you could kiss my rosy red cheeks. Now take off the shirt." he commands the immobilized teen.

Jacob grunts in pain, but he takes off the shirt. He turns to pass it off to Xander.

"You. Shirt. Now, before I bitch slap you." says Stewie as he threatens another laughing student.

The girls laugh and cheer as another boy takes of his shirt.

Xander hides behind Willow as he puts the shirt on. Willow laughs with the girls.


Sunnydale High School. The Library.





Giles is going over a number of newspapers. "This can't be happening. This can't be..." he says.

Buffy comes into the library. "What's the word?" she asks.

"Oh, uh, I've got back issues of the, uh, papers, um, to try to do some research." he tells Buffy.

"Did you find anything?" she asks.

"I don't know." he replies.

"You don't know if you didn't find anything." she asks.

"I'm having a problem." he tells her.

"What is it?" she asks.

"I-I can't read!" he tells her.

"What do you mean? You can read, like, three languages." she says.

"Five, actually, on a normal day. Th-the words here don't make any s-sense. I-it's gibberish!" he says, as he steps away in frustration.

"That's him." says Buffy, as she looks at the paper.

"Who?" he asks.

"The kid I've been seeing around school. 'Twelve-year-old Billy Palmer was found beaten and unconscious after his kiddie league game Saturday. Doctors describe his condition as critical.' When was this published? Last week. It says he's in a coma in intensive care. This is the boy from the hospital!" she explains.

"The first victim? Uh... You, you've seen him around the school?" Giles says putting two and two together.

"Yeah, first when the spiders got Wendell, and, and then when I didn't know a thing on the history test. I thought it was weird seeing this kid around, but I forgot about it." she says.

"Uh, the boy's been in a coma for a week. How can this be possible?" he asks.

"What, am I knowledge girl now? Explanations are your terrain." she says.

"Uh, well, um, there's astral projection, uh, the theory that while one sleeps one has another body, a-an astral body, which can travel through time and space." Giles starts spouting theories.

"Billy's in a coma. That's like sleep, right?" she asks.

"In a manner of speaking, a-a-although one doesn't always awake from a coma." he tells her.

"Could I be seeing Billy's asteroid body?" she asks.

"Astral body, and I-I don't know. As usual, one doesn't have an inordinate amount of information to work with." he tells her.

"Lucky nineteen." she says.

Hank Summers,walks though the library doors.

"There you are! I've been looking everywhere. Why aren't you in class?" Hank asks his daughter.

"Dad, what are you doing here? Y-you're not supposed to pick me up till after school. Is something wrong?" she asks.

"Well, I, I need to talk to you." says Hank.

"Something 'is' wrong. Is it mom? Dawn?" she asks.

"No, no, it's not your mother, or Dawn. They're fine. Could I speak with you for a moment? Privately?" he asks.

"Um, sure! Yeah. (looks at Giles) Uh, oh! I'm sorry. Dad, this is Mr. Giles, the librarian. Uh, this is my dad, Hank Summers." she says introducing her father to Giles.

"My pleasure." says Giles, as he shakes his hand.

"Likewise." says Hank.

"I'll be back." says Buffy.

She and her father leave the library. Giles tries reading the papers again.


Sunnydale High School. Outside.





Buffy and Hank walk as they talk.

"I came early because there's something I've needed to tell you. About your mother and me. Why we split up." says Hank.

"Well, you always told me it was because..." she starts.

Hank interrupts her. "Uh, I know we always said it was because we'd just grown too far apart." he says.

"Yeah, isn't that true?" she asks.

"Well, c'mon, honey, let's, let's sit down. You're old enough now to know the truth." he tells her, as they sit on a bench.

"Is there someone else? Stewie says that there's someone else." she says.

"No. No, it was nothing like that." he lies.

"Then what was it?" she asks.

"It was you." he tells her.

"Me?" she asks.

"Having you. Raising you. Seeing you everyday. I mean, do you have any idea what that's like?" he asks her.

"What?" she asks.

"Gosh, you don't even see what's right in front of your face, do you? Well, big surprise there, all you ever think about is yourself. You get in trouble. You embarrass us with all the crazy stunts you pull, and do I have to go on?" he asks.

"No. Please don't." she begs him to stop.

"You're sullen and... rude and... you're not nearly as bright as I thought you were going to be... Hey, Buffy, let's be honest. Could you stand to live in the same house with a daughter like that?" he asks her with all honesty.

"Why are you saying all these things?" she asks, as a tear rolls down her cheek.

"Because they're true. I think that's the least we owe one another." he tells her in a caring voice, as he rips he heart into tiny little pieces.

Buffy begins to sniff and cry.

"You know, I don't think it's very mature, getting blubbery when I'm just trying to be honest. Speaking of which, I don't really get anything out of these weekends with you. So, what do you say we just don't do them anymore?" he asks.

"Oh God I wish that were true." says Stewie as he walk behind the apparition. "Too bad the sperm donor's not really here." Stewie says as he stands in front of them.

She stares at them in shock. He pats her on the leg. "Stewie, it's good to see you son." says Hank's shade.

"Begone!" Stewie commands as he pulls out The Shovel and lays the smack down on his father's shade.

Buffy can't do anything but watch, as Stewie beats Hank to a bloody pulp. The body fades away. She sees Billy is there looking at her and Stewie. She looks up again and sees him. Billy turns and leaves. Buffy fights back the tears.

"Dry up those tears. I cannot stand to see anything manipulate you this way, besides me that is." he tells her, as he hands her a tissue. " Come on. Willow and Xander are waiting for us in the library." he takes her hand and gives her a pat to tell her that he would be there for her, if she ever needs it.

Buffy knows that this was a waking nightmare, but she's not sure how to take it. Stewie actions were extremely brutal, but she knew that he did that to protect her.



Sunnydale High School. The Library.





Willow and Xander are in the library, Xander is pulling on his gym shirt.

"Red alert! Where's Buffy?" he asks.

"Uh, she, she just stepped out. Her, her father came by early. He, he needed to talk to her. W... where are your other clothes?" Giles asks Xander.

"Oh, don't I wish I had the answer to 'that' question." replies Xander.

"Xander and Stewie kinda found themselves in front of our class not wearing much of anything." Willow explains.

"Except my underwear. Stewie was buck naked." he tells Giles.

"Yeah! It was really... ...bad. It was a bad thing." she says laughing.

"'Bad thing'? I was naked. 'Bad thing' doesn't cover it." Xander complains, as Willow consoles him.

"Everyone staring? I would hate to have everyone paying attention to me like that." she says.

"With nudity! It's a total nightmare." says Xander.

"Well, yeah Xander! I-it's your nightmare!" she says coming to the realization that, this was the problem they were facing.

"Except the part with me waking up goin' 'it's all a dream'. It happened." he complains again.

"Like it happened to Wendell. That thing with the spiders? Wendell had a recurring dream about that." she says.

"I-I dreamt that I got lost in the stacks and I... I couldn't read... Of course!" says Giles coming to the same conclusion.

"Uh, our dreams are coming true?" Xander asks.

"Dreams? That would be a musical comedy version of this. Nightmares, our, our nightmares are coming true." he says.

"So, why is this happening? Is it a 'Nightmare' demon? 'Cause I tried looking those up before." she says.

"Billy." says Giles.

"there's a Nightmare demon called Billy?" asks Willow.

"Well, that explanation was shorter than usual. It's Billy! Who's Billy? And more importantly, how dow we kill it?" asks Xander.

"He's a boy in the local hospital. He was beaten. He's in a coma. Somehow I think he's crossed over from the nightmare world he's trapped in." explains Giles.

"And he brought the nightmare world with him. Thanks a bunch, Billy." Xander complains loudly.

"How could he do that?" asks Willow.

"Things like that are easy when you live on a Hellmouth." explains Giles.

"Well, um, we have to stop it." says Xander.

"And soon. Or else everyone in Sunnydale is gonna be facing their own worst nightmares." says Giles.


Sunnydale High School, Halls.







Cordelia opens her locker and looks at her mirror. Her hair has become totally frizzy, and she freaks out. She tries to force a comb through it to no avail.

"I don't understand! This can't be happening! I was just at the salon!" says Cordelia in despair. She puts her hands on her head in terror. "Oh, my God!" she screams.

She tries the hair on the other side of her head, but it's just as bad. She slams her locker shut and races out of the school. Everyone gets out of her way.

She gets into her car and races to the salon. She pulls out her cell phone and calls ahead. "I want Antoine ready for me when I come in. It's an emergency." she shouts, as she speeds out of the student parking lot.



Sunnydale High School, Outside.








Buffy walks along sadly hand in hand with Stewie. She didn't want to be alone. He may not show it all the time, but she knew her brother cares for her. Too bad he's such an evil demon seed. She notices Billy going down some stairs to the gym entrance. When the students have all come out he goes in. Buffy and Stewie follow him in and find him sitting on the stands.

"Billy?" she asks.

He looks at them for a moment. She comes closer. Stewie hangs back to observe.

"Are you Billy Palmer?" asks Buffy.

"I'm Billy." he confirms.

"Why are you here?" she asks, as she sits down next to him. "Did something bad happen to you after your game?"

"Something bad? I, I don't remember." he says.

"Do you remember playing baseball?" she asks.

"Uh huh. Yeah. I play second base." he tells her.

"Are you 'lucky nineteen'?" she asks.

"That's what he calls me." he says.

"Who?" she asks.

"The Ugly Man. He wants to kill me. A-and he hurt that girl." he says.

"Why does he want to kill you, Billy?" she asks.

"He's..." he hesitates.

"Billy, it's okay! What? Just tell me." she says.

"He's here!" says Billy.

The Ugly Man tries to club Buffy with his deformed arm, but Stewie's Shovel is there before it connects. The Ugly Man hits Stewie in the face, knocking him on his ass, he fall to the floor. Buffy Jumps the Ugly Man, as he tries another swing at stewie.

She ducks a swing coming her way, kicks him in the jaw with a high side kick and follows up with a spinning out-to-in crescent kick to his face. He isn't fazed. He swings again with his club arm and hits her squarely in the back, knocking her into the stands. He swings again as she gets up and knocks her legs out from under her, making her fall backward and onto the floor again.

She rolls out of the way as he swings again. Stewie jumps back in, with The Shovel and lands a direct hit to the head. It doesn't faze the Ugly Man in the least. Buffy gets up and quickly follows Billy, who's already gone out the door. Stewie shoots the Ugly Man with the Shovel.

It has no other effect than to knock him back a few yards. Stewie empties the charge in his Shovel, as he blasts the Ugly Man until he's out of Juice, he then runs after Buffy and Billy.


Sunnydale High School, The Library.





Giles, Willow and Xander walk out of the library to find Buffy and Stewie.

"Buffy and Stewie do not know, that this is happening. And given the sort of thing that Buffy tends to dream about, it's imperative that we find her. I'm not sure about Stewie. I'm surprised he got the same Nightmare as xander." says Giles.

Xander doesn't say anything, but he his suspissions about that. He and Stewie were in mental contact, it could have been a bleed over. He knew enough about comic book physics to think that was probably it. He made a mental note to ask Stewie later.

They come through the doors into the hall.

"Probably faster if we split up to look for them." suggests Xander.

"Good idea. Keep your cell phones available." says Giles.

He and Xander go off in opposite directions.

"Oh, uh, faster, but... not really safer." says Willow.


Sunnydale High School, Gym.





Outside the gym doors. Buffy slides a hockey stick through the door handles, as soon as Stewie runs out. It slows the Ugly Man down.

Stewie adds a little something to the door and it sparks.

The Ugly Man pounds on the door. He lets out a scream as he gets the shock of his life.

"That should hold the bugger." Steiwe tells his sister.

Buffy looks around, sees Billy and goes over to him.

"Billy!" she says.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it." he says.

"Who is he?" she asks.

"He's the Ugly Man." Billy explains.

"He's too strong! We can't fight him! We have to find our friends. They can help us." says Buffy.

"I'll say. He shook off a full charge. I emptied the batteries into that beast and listen to that racket. He's still trying to break through the electrified doors." says Stewie.

"We have to hide." says Billy.

"No! He'll find us!" says Buffy.

"Yes, but we have to hide. That's how it happens. We hide, and then he comes." Billy explains.

"Do you live on 'Planet Stupid' or something. We need to remove his threat completely. Unfortunately, he's a dream construct. I'm not sure what to use to break up his matrix." says Stewie.

They go to find the others.


Sunnydale High School, Hallway.





Willow comes down the stairs and sees a commotion down the hall. Aura is being dragged by some nerds into the chess club.

"No! What are you doing! Hey, no! You don't understand! I don't wanna go! I'm not even on the chess team! I swear, I'm not!" shouts Aura, but the chess nerds are not impressed with the volume of her lungs.

They drag her into the room. Willow smiles at the sight. She hears her name being called from the door to the basement.

"Willow!" says the voice.

Cordelia: Nohoho!

Willow turns toward the voice, goes to the basement door, opens it and looks inside.

"Willow!" the voice says again.

Willow walks down to the basement. "Buffy?" she says

She starts down the stairs, leaving the door open.

"Hello? Buffy?" she says again.

She reaches the bottom of the steps and looks around.

"I'm not afraid. You'd think I'd be afraid, but I'm not." she snarls in defiance. She pulls out a mini shovel, as she continues into the room and looks around. A hand grabs her on the shoulder and pulls her away as she screams.



Sunnydale High School, Hallway.





Xander comes through a door and finds the hall has been vandalized, with swastikas spray-painted everywhere. A light hanging from the ceiling is flickering. He spies a chocolate bar on the floor.

"Alright! Someone else's loss is my chocolatey goodness." he says picking up the bar from the floor and tearing it open.

He takes a huge bite. He looks around some more and sees a Hershey bar. He walks over to it, picks it up and tears it open.

"This is my lucky day!" he says.

He takes a huge bite out of the Hershey bar and looks around again.

There are sheets of plastic hanging from the ceiling. Xander pushes though a pair and stops. His hands are full of various chocolate bars.

"I love these bars!" says Xander.

He spots another one on the floor.

"A Chocolate Hurricane! These are the best! I haven't had one of these since my..."

He hears incessant giggling coming toward him.

"...sixth ...birthday." he says, as he looks around.

He sees a shadow come up behind another sheet of plastic, and a clown suddenly bursts through. Xander screams in terror, and rage, as the clown holds up a knife. Xander falls as he tries to get away and somersaults backward into the next hall.

All the lessons Stewie pounded into his head pour out, as his rage takes over. He swings The Shovel at the clown's head as it comes after him. The blood from the headless clown blasts Xander in the face.



Sunnydale High School,Outside.





Buffy, Billy and Stewie come out of a door.

"Wha... I was sure this led to the library." says a confused Buffy.

"It does." confirms Stewie.

Billy looks at a couple students playing on the other side of the fence. Buffy goes over to him.

"They're just playing. What is it? What's bothering you?" she asks Billy.

"Baseball. When you lose, it's bad." he says.

"Did you lose your game last week?" she asks.

"It was my fault." he says nodding his head.

"Why was it your fault?" she asks.

"I missed a ball and I should have caught it." he confesses.

"You missed one ball and the whole game was your fault? What, you were the only one playing? There wasn't eight other people on your team?" she asks.

"He said it was my fault." says Billy

"Who said? Billy, did he hurt you after the game?" Buffy asks the young boy.

"Can we go another way to find your friends?" Billy asks Buffy.

"Sure. Okay. We can go around the cafeteria." she tells him.

The Ugly Man comes in their direction and punches a student out.

"He never quits. If only there was someway to harness his energy." Stewie says out loud. "What?" he asks Buffy as she gives him the look. "Look at all the sparks he's giving off." he says pointing at the sparkly, Ugly Man.

"Uh, this way! C'mon!" says Buffy ignoring her brother as they take off in another direction.

She pushes Billy and Stewie ahead of her through some bushes. When they get through to the other side they are in the cemetery, and it's night.

"What just happened?" she asks.

"Is this where your friends are?" asks Billy

"No, it's not." she says.

"Absolutely fascinating." says Stewie. "Total reality control, including time dilation."

"I don't see the Ugly Man. I also don't know where the sun and the rest of the world went." says Buffy.

"Look at this." says Billy.

She looks down where Billy is looking and sees a freshly dug grave with an open pine coffin inside.

"I guess we're gonna bury someone. I wonder who died." says Billy.

"Nobody died." says the Master.

Buffy,Billy and Stewie look up at him in surprise.

"What's the fun of burying someone if they're already dead?" says the Master.

She stares at him in disbelief.

"You!" she shouts.

"So! This is the Slayer! You're prettier than the last one." says the Master

"This isn't real. Y-you can't be free!" she says.

"I think it's another phantasm." says Stewie.

"You still don't understand, do you? I am free because you fear it. Because you fear it, the world is crumbling. Your nightmares are made flesh. You have little Billy to thank for that." he tells her.

"I told you so." says Stewie.

She looks behind her at Stewie, but sees that Billy is gone. She turns back to the Master.

"This is a dream." says Buffy.

"No this is a Nightmare. Yours I believe." says stewie.

"A dream is a wish your heart makes." says the Master as he grabs Buffy by the neck. "This is real life." he says as he pulls her around so her back is to the open grave. "Come on, Slayer! What are you afraid of?" he asks.

Stewie jump kicks the master in the back of the head. He takes out his uncharged Shovel and throws it head first at the Master and jumps right behind it.

The Master moves out the way and he backhands Stewie with his free hand.

Stewie flies out for a considerable distance and comes to a stop, by hitting the walls of a large crypt. He falls down with a groan.

Buffy screams.

"So much for your brother." he tells her.

He growls and bares his teeth, but doesn't bite. He throws her into the coffin at the bottom of the grave, and the lid slams shut.

"No! Stewie!" she shouts.

"How 'bout being buried alive?" says the Master. He laughs maniacally as he starts to shovel dirt into the grave.

"Somebody help me! Please! No! No! Please! No! No! No! Somebody help me! Please! No!" she screams.

The first shovelful of dirt hits the coffin, and some falls in through the cracks of the poorly constructed coffin.

"Please! No! Help me! No!"

The next shovelful of dirt covers the crack between the boards.

"Help!" she screams.


Sunnydale High School, Hallway.







Willow comes through a door while being pelted with tomatoes. Xander runs up to her. He was still wiping the blood from his face.

"Did you find Buffy?" he asks.

"I had to sing! Very bad to sing!" she says, she then smells the blood on him, "What happened to you? Where did all the blood come from?" she asks.

"Dead clown. Remember my sixth birthday party? I'll tell you later, c'mon. Let's find the others." he says.

"Oh, yeah! When the clown chased you and you got so scared that you had..." she says with a laugh. "Oh!" the laughter stops.

They run, right into Giles.

"No sign of Buffy? Stewie?" Giles asks.

They go outside. They come running out of the building and stop.

"With the clown dead I feel good! I feel liberated!" he tells Willow.

People are running past them.

"You seem to be the only one. Things are getting worse. In a few hours reality will fold completely into the realm of nightmares." says Giles.

"Well, what do we do?" asks Willow.

"The only thing I can think is to try and wake Billy." says Giles.

"Uh, no, we can't leave without Buffy and Stewie." says Xander.

"Agreed, but who knows where she might have gone?" says Giles.

Willow sees a dimensional rift to the graveyard across the street.

"Excuse me, when did they put a cemetery in across the street?" asks Willow.

"And when did they make it night over there?" asks Xander.

They walk through the rift into the cemetery.

"Whose nightmare is this?" asks Xander.

Giles looks at a gravestone that reads: Buffy Summers 1981 - 1997.

"It's mine." says Giles.

They all gather around the grave. Giles kneels next to it.

"Where's Stewie?" asks Xander looking around.

His answer is a groan from the distant crypt. His sharp hearing was able to pick it out. He runs over to the crypt, with The Shovel at the ready. He sees Stewie lying there coughing blood.

Giles ignores Xander and Willow.

"I've failed... in my duty to protect you. I should have been more c... cautious. Taken more time to train you. But you were so gifted. And the evil was so great. I'm sorry..." Giles says as he lays his hand on the fresh soil. As he starts to get up a hand reaches up through the dirt and grabs his. Willow screams. Giles tears himself away as Buffy comes up through the dirt out of the grave. She brushes herself off.

"Buffy?" says Giles.

She looks up. She has turned into a vampire.

"I thought I was dead!" says Buffy.

"Buffy, your face!" says Willow.

Buffy feels her face and realizes what's happened.

"Oh, God!" she says in horror, as the truth hits home.

She keeps her hands up to hide her face. Willow takes a couple of steps toward her.

"Buffy..." says Willow.

"Don't look at me!" says Buffy as she turns away.

"You never told me you dreamt of becoming a vampire." says Giles.

"This isn't a dream." she screams.

"No. No, it's not. But there's a chance that we can make it go away. This all comes from Billy. Now, if, if we can only wake him up, I believe that the nightmares will stop and reality will shift back into place, but we must do it now! I need you to hold together long enough to help us. Can you do that?" he asks.

Xander comes back carrying Stewie.

"Put me down. I can walk." Stewie tells Xander.

Xander obeys.

"You stood up to the Master for me. I didn't think you'd go that far, but I guess you really do care." Buffy says to Stewie.

"You are my sister. And nobody hurts my family. The next time we meet, I'll be better prepared." Stewie promises with a cough. This time no blood come out, as his healing has fixed most of the internal damage.

Stewie walks with a limp to Buffy and gives her a hug. "Well come on forehead girl, let's get you fixed up." he says teasing his sister.

"You wish, you were a forehead guy." she teases back.

"Bah. Vampires, totaly overrated blod sucking pest at best." he tells her.

"Well, we better hurry... 'cause I'm getting hungry." she says.

"Try this." says Stewie taking out a blood bag from his backpack.

"Why are you carrying blood bags?" asks Willow.

"It's mostly in case Angel ever gets to peckish and needs a snack. I would rather not test his self control. Also, bait..." he tells them.

"Are you sure everything will go back once he's awake?" asks Willow.

"Oh, uh, positive." says Giles.

"Well, how do we wake Billy up? What if we can't?" Willow asks Giles.

"Willow, do shut up." says Giles.

"Watch it Watcher boy. You do not talk to my employees in this manner." Stewie threatens with a cough.

"S-Sorry Willow." Giles apologizes.

"What if..." starts willow.

"Willow Shut up!" commands Stewie.

Giles smirks, but doesn't says anything.

Willow gives them a hurt look. She nudges Xander with her elbow.

"Nu uh. I ain't sayin' nothing." Xander tells his girlfriend.


Sunnydale, Hospital.





Pandemonium reigns. They come running down the hall to Billy's room. The doctor is there looking into Billy's room.

"Doctor! Is the boy Billy still here?" Giles asks the Doctor.

"My hands!" screams the Doctor, as he looks at his hands in horror.

The doctor's hands are severely crippled. He goes away. They run into Billy's room.

"What now?" asks Xander.

"Um... Billy! Billy?" Giles shakes Billy trying to wake him up.

"That won't work." says Billy. His astral body is standing by the curtains. Giles looks up at him.

"Billy! Uh, Billy, you have to wake up." says Giles.

"No. I told her. I have to hide." says billy.

"Why? From what?" asks Giles.

"From him!" says Buffy.

She's still in the hall and sees the Ugly Man coming toward her. Giles goes over to the window to look.

"Aw, man, what do we do?" says Xander.

"I think I know." says buffy.

She takes off her jacket. Willow hears buzzing outside and peeks through the blinds to see giant black wasps flying over the town.

"Whatever it is, it better be soon!" says Willow.

In the hall. The Ugly Man is making his way toward Buffy.

"Glad you showed up! You see, I'm having a really bad day." says buffy.

"Lucky nineteen!" says the Ugly Man.

"Scary! I'll tell you something, though. There are a lot scarier things than you. And I'm one of them." says Buffy.

The Ugly Man stops in his tracks and looks at her. She roars and runs to attack. She jumps on him, knocks him down and punches him twice in the face. She tries for a third punch, but he blocks her and gets his foot under her stomach. He pushes hard, and Buffy falls backwards. She gets up quickly and roundhouse kicks him in the gut, making him double over, but he pushes her into the window of Billy's room and then throws her into the opposite wall.

He tries to punch her with his club arm, but she ducks, and Xander slams him with The Shovel, right in the kisser. Buffy comes up behind him and side kicks him in the back. He slams into her, knocking her through the door into Billy's room and against his bed.

She gets up to face him as he comes in after her. He swings again with his club arm, but she grabs it and roughly brings it down, breaking it over her knee. He wails in pain, and she body checks him into the wall, where he hits his head and slumps to the floor unconscious. Everyone just stares at him.

"I-is he dead?" asks Billy.

"Come here, Billy." says Buffy.

"I, I don't..." says billy too afraid to look.

"You have to do the rest." says Buffy.

Billy slowly comes around the bed and over to the Ugly Man.

"What are they doing?" asks Willow.

Giles gestures for her to be quiet.

"I get it." says Xander.

Buffy takes Billy's hand. He looks up at her.

"No more hiding." says Buffy.

Billy looks down at the Ugly Man. Buffy lets go of his hand, and he reaches for the Ugly Man's neck. He peels back his face and a bright light streams out. In the next instant everything is back to normal. The Ugly Man is gone, Buffy is herself again, Xander and Willow are in their regular clothes and the hospital is functioning. Buffy smiles and feels her face. Willow breathes a sigh of relief. Billy wakes up.

"Hey, he's waking up!" says Xander.

"Thank you Mister Obvious." says Stewie.

They all gather around.

"I had the strangest dream. And you were in it, and you... Who are you people?" Billy asks the Team.

They all smile.

"Let's get a doctor." says Giles.

Billy's coach comes in as Giles and Xander are about to go get a doctor.

"Oh! Huh. Billy's got company. I-I-I'm his kiddie league coach. I come by here every day, just hoping against hope that he's gonna wake up soon. He's, uh, my lucky nineteen." says Billy's Coach.

Giles and Buffy exchange a look.

"So, um, how is he?" asks the nervous Coach.

Buffy steps aside to show him that Billy's awake. "He's awake." she says.

"What?" he says surprised at Billy's recovery.

"You blamed him for losing the game. So you caught up with him afterwards, didn't you?" Buffy accuses the Coach.

"What are you talking about?" the Coach asks, acting all innocent.

"You said that it was my fault that we lost." says Billy sitting up.

The coach realizes he's been found out and tries to get away. Xander grabs him by the jacket and stops him.

"It wasn't my fault. There's eight other players on the team. You know that." says Billy.

Nice going!" Buffy tells Billy with a smile.

Billy smiles back.


Sunnydale High School, Outside.





Willow, Buffy, Xander and Stewie are walking.

"I just can't believe a kiddie league coach would do something like that." says Buffy.

"Well, you obviously haven't played kiddie league. I'm surprised it wasn't one of the parents." says Xander.

"I'm just glad he's behind bars where he belongs." says Willow.

"But that was kinda heroic, Xander, helping out with that Shovel and grabbing the Coach and all." says Buffy.

"Well, I just did what anyone else would've. I mean, if you wanna label it heroic..." says Xander, as Hank drives up, honks and gets out of the car and waves.

"Hi!" says Hank.

"Have a killer weekend, guys!" says Buffy.

Stewie ignores his father.

"Stewie?" asks Hank.

"You know where I stand you sperm donor." says Stewie angrily.

"Stewie...Please." says Hank.

"I've said everything I'm going to says. Any further communications will be done through my layers. Good Day!" says Stewie turning his back on Hank.

Stewie leaves as Buffy gives her father a hug.

"Hi daddy. He'll come around." she tells him

"Hi, sweetheart! Oh, it's so good to see you! But I don't think that your brother is going to come around any time soon. How was your day?" he asks.

"Fine. You know, usual." she says.

"Personal question?" asks Willow.

"Yeah, shoot!" says Xander.

"When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you?" asks Willow.

"Willow, how can you... I mean, that's really bent! She was... grotesque!" he says.

"Still dug her, huh?" she says.

"I'm sick, I need help." he says.

"Yeah. Me too." she says, giving him a kiss.


Summers Residence, 1630 Revello Drive




"Hello mother." Stewie greets Joyce as she's about to get into the SRL limo.

"Hi Stewie. I want to thank you for this generous gift." she says.

"Not at all mother. Oh before I forget, here you go." he says giving her his blank black credit card.

"What's this for?" she asks.

"For whatever you want. I closed the deal with Bill Eisner. Bank just approved it. An unlimited credit card from all the credit card companies on one card." he tells her.

"Stewie are you sure?" she asks.

"That one's going to be yours. Use it well. By the way, could you do me a favor?" he asks.

"What's that dear?" she asks her son giving him a hug.

"Can you take Xander and Willow with you. Give them a make over so to speak. They are in sore need of one." he tells her.

"Oh Stewie. I don't need any body guards dear." she says seeing through his excuse.

"It mostly for them. I can't have my people looking so shabby. It reflects badly on me." he tells her.

"Alright dear. You keep telling, that to yourself." she says giving him another kiss before she gets into the limo.

Stewie watches until the limo disappears before he walks into the house. Once inside. Stewie races inside, and down into his basement lab. He takes out his cell phone and says. "Harmony. Where are we with Mister Eisner?" he asks.

"He's almost done playing with your VR room. Do you want us to bring him when he's out?" she asks.

"Yes do that. Tell the other girls to get here as soon as possible." he says closing cell phone.

Stewie gets busy moving the equipment he needs from his lab to the living room. By this time Bill should have been fully indoctrinated in the VR room.

All he needs are a few more minutes getting his final instructions and adding him to the dog pack. For this he would need the girls.

He was done by the time the door bell rings. The door opens automatically. Another feature to the house, his mother and sisters are unaware he made in their absence.

Harmony and the girls bring Bill in along with his party. Bill's minions do not interest him in the least, but they get the same indoctrination treatment, but with adding them to the dog pack. That was reserved only for the elite. The Movers and Shakers. The Power Brokers.

"Bill!" Stewie greets Bill Eisner warmly. "How did you like what the girls had to show you?" he asks.

"It was incredible Stewie. Is this technology available. Disney would like first shot at developing it." says Bill.

"Why don't we discuss that over dinner? Girls if you please." he says.

"This trip has certainly been an eye opener." Bill tells Stewie.

"I am so glad this has been a positive experience for you." says Stewie.

"Oh it has. With your technology and our position in the market place. I forsee that Disney and SRL will be doing business for a very long time." predicts Bill Eisner.

Throughout dinner Stewie and the girls keep Bill and his people too busy to ask anything of substance. The drugs in the meal do their job by the time the meal is over.

Bill's drug cocktail was slightly different. It left him highly open to suggestions.

Stewie and the girls get him into the circle and complete the spell to add him to the dog pack. By the time Bill and the revived yes men are awake. Stewie has gotten everything he wants out of Eisner and Disney.

"Well I hope you had a great time Bill. Next time, it'll be my turn to be your guest." says Stewie.

"The next time should be in a few month when you drop by to oversee the installation. We'll roll out the red carpet for you, just like you did for us." Bill promises as he and his people pile into their waiting limo.

As the car, and the Disney people disappear, Stewie turns to the girls. "Well on to phase two. I believe Mister Giles is next on our agenda." he tells the girls.

"Yeppers Stewie. And Miss Calender is after him. We sure are having a busy night." says the flighty blonde assistant.



Sunnydale, Giles Apartment.





It was close to midnight when Stewie and the girls drop onto the sleeping Watcher's roof.

Stewie un-rolls his portable circle and lays it out. The Girls rappel down to the window facing the bedroom. Inside they could see the sleeping figure snoring in his bed.

Aura inserts a tube into the cracks beneath the window. She presses a button to activate the pump. A fast acting sleeping gas rapidly fills the room.

They wait a few minutes to make sure the gas does it's job. Joy opens the window without breaking it and enter the apartment through the open window.

Aura signals they have the watcher. Aura and Joy load him up on a stretcher and send him up to the roof.

Harmony and Amy take over from Aura and Joy, when the drugged Watcher reaches the roof. They quickly hook him up to Stewie behavior modification machine.

They leave it running for about thirty minutes for the first level of light indoctrination. When that's done. Stewie puts him in the middle of the circle and has the dog pack done for the second time tonight.

When they're done Stewie uses another machine to enter inside Giles's dreams. When he gets inside, he encounters heavy resistance, but he was prepared for that.

He overcomes the Watcher's resistance and digs deeper. He sees Giles early life growing up in England and his rebellious years as the Ripper. It all stops when he comes face to face with Giles inner demon. He recognizes the mark from his reading of the Watcher's private and not so private diaries.

He withdraws from Gile's dreams in disgust. "Damn. Until he's freed from that vile demon's influence, he's no good to us." he declares. "Aura pull up program number nine please." he politely orders the girl.

"Sure thing Stewie." she says.

The other girls help her prep the Watcher for another session.

"What does program number nine do?" asks Harmony.

"It makes him ignore his enhancements and not question anything he does that's beyond the human limits." he explains.

The girls unhook Giles from Stewie's dream machine and put him back on the stretcher.

"I hope Miss Calendar, will be a better canidate." he says as they put Giles back in his bed. "Don't forget to close the window on yor way out Joy." he reminds them as they leave the Watcher to his dreams.

"Got it boss." says Joy.

End of Chapter.
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