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Stewie can do better.

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Summary: Stewie gets disgusted with the first season BTVS.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Family Guy
Stargate > Xander-Centered > Theme: Humor
RafMereCFR1534171,628718751,85030 Sep 0913 Apr 10No

You dirty 'Rat bastard'... You killed my SISTER!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Check previous disclaimers.

*Mental conversation*

A/N
I combined the chapters to put them into one episode.

When I have the time, I'll do the same for the other chapters.

Raf.



Sunnydale High School, The Library.




"Buffy keep your right up, and stop telegraphing your kicks. Most vampires will not be able to block you, but against a few vampire masters out there, it is enough, they can, and, and they will ta-take advantage." Giles tells Buffy as he blocks her punches and kicks.

"OWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!" says Xander from the floor. "You didn't have to freakin' zap me you bastard!" he shouts at Stewie.

ZZZZAAAAPPPPP!!!!

"AAUURRRGGHHH!!!! YOU BITCH, I'M SO KICKING YOUR ASS!!!!" Xander yells at the top of his lungs. He surges from the floor with renewed vigor, as he goes after his torment, err, trainer.

Stewie's evil laugh spurs Xander on to an even greater frenzy. He chase Stewie through the library.

"Hey! Cut it out you two. We're trying to train here, and for the first time, in a long time he's getting really good at it." shouts Buffy at the two fools interrupting her training session with Giles.

"Th-Thank you... I think. You, you really think this is the best session you've had? Rea-Really?" Giles asks Buffy.

"Oh yeah. Your like got energy to burn. For like, the first time ever... You're almost like... Xander...?" she says.

"I, I am, am I?" replies Giles. "Th-That's very interesting. I've felt full of energy for about a month now. S-senses much sharper, and, and I don't think I'm going to need these glasses much, much longer." he says taking off his glasses and looking at them. "Then there's Jenny... And the girls..."

"STEWIE! GET! YOUR! ASS! DOWN! HERE!!! NOW!!!" Buffy shouts at the top of her lungs.

Stewie Zaps Xander one more time before her responds. He leaves the twitching body hanging on top of the stacks.

"You bellowed?" he calmly asks his sister.

"WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?" she asks.

"Oh him. It was an accident." he tells her.

"An accident?" she asks.

"What d-do, do you mean, 'An accident?'" Giles asks his apprentice.

"I put the girls though a modified version of the pack possession. But sleeping beauty here was asleep in his office and, you know it's funny, but I think that the hellmouth has a sense of humor... it made him the dog pack Alpha male. Ha ha ha ha... What?" he asks as both Buffy and Giles look at him.

Xander groans in support of Buffy, but mostly he just twitched.

"You, you couldn't have j-just said something... How unbelievable irresponsible of you. Magic is not a toy you can play with. You can't play with people's lives like this." Giles shouts at Stewie.

"I was doing this to protect my girls. Here's a funny fact, did you know that my version of the pack spell is a lot closer to the original Slayer creation spell. Not sure why they couldn't get the Pack spell done right, but they must have screwed it up so many times that they finally decided to test it out on a girl. 'Surprise!' It worked. So they left it as is the lazy bastards. Tell me? Are you really that upset about all the benefits. Younger body, stronger, faster, durable and more importantly, heals quickly after a Buffy training session. What are you complaining about anyway... You're finally getting some from Miss Calendar, and the girls wouldn't mind giving you a test drive if you asked..." Stewie dives out of the way as first Buffy then Giles go after him with murder in their eyes. 'Looks like we're about to have another chase. Those are alway fun.' he thinks.



Summers Residence, 1630 Revello Drive, Buffy's Room.




"Stewie... What happened to you?" Joyce asks her youngest. He was bruised and cut, his clothes have rips and tears everywhere.

"Well that would be Mount St. Buffy." Stewies tells his mother.

"She did what? Why?... What did you do?" she asks. She does know her son after all.

Buffy walks in behind Stewie. Her clothes weren't much better off. She swats Stewie at the back of the head, and walks by her mother and goes up the bathroom without saying a word.

"... Buffy?" asks Joyce.

"... Not now." she answers from the bathroom.

"You. Mister... Are in so much trouble..." says Joyce shaking her finger.

"He's always in trouble." says Dawn. "The trick is to make it stick." she whines. 'The slippery mud sucker's gonna get away with it again... whatever 'again' was this time.' she thinks.

"Dawn go to your room." says Joyce.

"Butttttt Mommmmm!" complains Dawn.

"But me no buts young lady. To your room!" commands Joyce.

Dawn grumbles under her breath, but she obeys her mother. 'Ooh. I hope she comes down hard on him... Ha! wishful thinking.'

"Alright. Let's hear you version of the story." she says. 'This should be good.' she thinks.

'He doesn't know I've cracked his latest encryption for the house's security system. He he he. I hope mom gives it to him good this time.' Dawn thinks.

"There's really nothing to it. Mr. Giles was caught in the backlash of a spell, very similar to what I did to bring both you and dawn into the pack. He unfortunately was asleep in his office at the time and didn't know about it..." he says.

"Was this the time we met him on his run around Sunnydale about a month ago?" asks Joyce.

"Yes. Yest it was." Stewie confirms.

"Then what's he complaining about?" she asks.

"That's what I would like to know... Kept giving me this speech about free will and such rubbish..." Stewie replies, not realizing he on thin ice with his last comment.

"Stewart Peter Summers! Free Will is not rubbish. It is the foundation that this country is built on..." Joyce begins, but Stewie interrupts her.

"... And look at the state of the country now. All this free will, has turned half the country into terrorists, killer, muggers and thieves. Why if I was in charge, none of this mayhem, and madness would be taking place in the streets of our major cities..." he says, but Joyce interrupts him.

"That's so much bullshit. Freedom and Free Will is not the cause of our problems. It's one of Pillars that make this country strong..." Joyce starts to argue her point of view with passion and eloquence.

In her room Dawn sits at her laptop and watches the Stewie and Joyce show, soon to be followed , by the Buffy and Stewie show, and after a commercial break the Stewie, Buffy and Joyce update. 'Ha! Take that and smoke it you evil turd.' she thinks. 'I wonder if I can sneak into the kitchen to get some snacks. I'm going to be watching this all night. A girl needs to eat after all. We do not survive on just family entertainment.'


Sunnydale, The Bronze.




Xander and Willow sitting at a table Xander says, "You know how we feel about you. It's, uh, pretty obvious, isn't it? There's never been anyone else for us... but you. And we're good friends, and it's time to take the next step." Willow listens to him dreamily. "Would you, um... date us? Oh that's good! Date us! It's terrible, right?" he asks.

"Huh? Oh, no! Oh, yes, 'date us' is silly..." she says finally coming down to earth. After all this time she can't believe Xander's hers, and now she wants Buffy.

"See, what I should do is I should just start with talking about the dance. Y'know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um... a mate and then we can... observe their... mating rituals and tag them before they migrate. Just kill me!" he says with a sigh.

"You're doing fine!" says Willow encouragingly.

"Whys it so hard? I should just walk up to her and say, 'Hey, We like you. Let's go to the dance together.'" says Xander.

"Direct and to the point." says Willow.

"I'm ready. I wanna do it now. I 'gotta' do it now." he says.

"Oh, Buffy's not here. You can practice on me some more." she says. She wasn't wooed, it was more like 'Wham. Bam. Thank you Mame.'

"No, no, I can't wait until tomorrow, I-I'll be thinking about it too much. Why didn't Buffy show up tonight? What's she doing?" he asks Willow.

"Joyce grounded her and Stewie for the destruction the last chase did. The Mayor called her personally to complain, and everything." Willow explains. "Come on. Woo some more." she says getting comfortable.

"This sucks! Why do we need to ask Buffy out for the dance. Aren't we enough of a group already?" asks Marcie.

"No!" Willow and Xander reply.

"Marcie sighs. They can hear her, but they still can't see her. This is why she was giving them audible clues to her displeasure. But after that session with Stewie... 'I still shudders every time I thinks about it.' she thinks. 'He so didn't have to grab me from Xander's room like that.' she remembers sleeping naked on top of Xander. His parents were clueless, and she was invisible, but for some reason she felt Tony Harris, Xander's dad's eyes follow her everywhere she went. 'How the hell he did he do that? The guy was bombed out of his skull.'


Sunnydale, Park.






The windows of the parked car were fogged up. Inside the car, Cordelia breaks off her kiss with Mitch.

Buffy a crew walk notice the car as they go by. Xander's on her left and Willow on her right. Xander was trying to ask Buffy to go with him and Willow to the dance. He was focused on the girl of his dreams and didn't notice the approaching vampires. Neither did Willow. She was focused on the drama playing out in front of her. The Vampires take advantage of their distraction and rush the trio. Two vamps tackle Buffy and the same for Xander. Willow ducks the fifth vamp. She had enough warning to dodge out of the way. She runs over to Xander and the two vamps all over him and kicks one of them with her new steel toed patrol boots. Stewie insists that if they were going out on patrol with Buffy, she had to wear the proper clothing. She was too important an asset to imitate Buffy's foolishness in trying to dress up as vamp bait. She and Xander were wearing durable leather with reinforced Kevlar. It was enough to bounce bullets.

The Vamp she kicks in the head rolls off Xander and the two of them make short work of the one trying to bite him. Willow slips he stake in while the vamp was at the edge of his feeding frenzy.

The first Vamp that went after Willow, settles for joining his friends on top of the slayer vamp pile. They were making enough noise to wake the dead.

"What was that?" asks Cordelia.

"What was what?" asks Mitch too busy trying to to remove her bra.

"Someone's out there." she says ignoring his attempts at removing her under garment.

"That's silly! Who would be out there?" says Mitch, as he removes the bra from beneath her blouse. His hands were too busy for him to worry about her fears of the dark. Better yet, she should stay busy while he removes the rest of her clothes before she notices anything.

Mount St. Buffy explodes and the vamp pile goes flying all over the place. One lands right on top of Xander before he could get back up. Instead of trying to get up he grabs the vamp and immobolises him. Willow delivers the coup de grace with a kick to the balls.

"EEEEAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!!" yells the new eunich vamp.

"Oh come on Willow. Have a heart and finish this guy off. He's a vamp, sure. There's no need to torture the poor guy." says Xander in sympathy.

"T-Thanks, m-man. Urggh!" says the vamp.

"S-Sorry, sorry." says Willow, as she pluges the stake into the vamps back.

"What's that scream?" asks Cordelia. "Mitch there's someone out there." she says.

"So?" he asks. He almost had her panties off. 'God can't this chick ever shut up?' he thinks, as he slips the panties down her legs.

"They could be in trouble. Get out there and check it out." she orders.

Mitch was about to says 'Are you nuts?' but the panties in his hand stop him from syaing it. "Let's take a look first. Ya' never know? It could be a mugger." he tells her.

Cordelia reluctantly agrees.

"Mitch wipes a bit of the fog off the window, and peaks outside. Crap!" he says.

"What is it?" she asks.

"It's your new friend Buffy, along with Rosenberg and Harris. They're fighting some assholes wearing fright masks. WHAT THE FUCK?!" he yells.

"What?" she demands.

To be continued...


Did it shake for you too?


Sunnydale High School, The Library.




Giles is at the table researching. He gets up and goes into his office to make some tea.

"Would you like a cup of...?" Giles points to the tea pot.

Stewie looks up from reading the Codex. He sees where Giles was pointing and and nods his head.

Giles sits down next to Stewie, at his desk. He passes one cup to Stewie, who takes it with one hand and sips the hot tea. With his own cup of tea in hand Giles reads the text of the Codex.

"Ho korias phanaytie toutay... tay nuktee. 'The Master shall rise...' Yes, yes, this is it! 'The Master shall rise, and the Slayer...' My God!" Giles says, to Stewie, as he looks up in disbelief. He puts the cup down and looks at Stewie. "Did, did you translate this already?" he asks his apprentice.

"Yes I did." says Stewie.

"Why didn't you says something?" Giles asks.

"You have to read the passage yourself, otherwise it's impact is wasted. It's why I left the Codex open at this particular page." Stewie explains pointing to the open book.

He considers what he's just heard for a moment and then reaches for his tea. The cup begins to jiggle, and he looks at it curiously. A few seconds later the whole building begins to shake, and he realizes he's experiencing his first earthquake. He gets up and looks around at everything shaking. His teacup vibrates off of the desk and grabs it in mid air, before it smashes to pieces on the floor.

"Th-Thank you." Giles tells Stewie for saving his cup.

Stewie shrugs. Don't mention it.

"You're taking the news of your sister's death quite calmly..." asks Giles.

"It all depends on the type of death..." answers Stewie.

"What do you know, that I don't?" asks Giles.

"I'm not sure... I think that this is true, she dies, but that's not cast in stone... I think I need to make some plans." says Stewie.

"W-We, need to make some plans." says Giles.

Stewie looks at Giles and wonders how far to take it. "You're right. We need to make some plans." he finally concedes.



Sunnydale High School, The library, Later that morning.




Giles comes out of his office and walks over to the cage. "I'll see if I can find it for you?" he says to Stewie.

Buffy, Willow and Xander walk in.

"Morning!" says Buffy.

"Hi Giles!" says Willow brightly.

"Hey." says Xander.

"You, your sounding very chipper this morning Willow. Good Morning Buffy, Xander.

Buffy and Willow look around at all the damage. Giles looks back at them. He notices their eyes scanning the damage.

"Wow. The damage looks fairly structural. Are we safe in here?" asks Buffy.

"Yes, we're, we're safe. Uh, but probably best not to go up there, for a few more hours yet." He points to the stacks. They can see Stewie's little robots working away like mad trying to fix the damage.

"Look at all the little guys go." says Xander in wonder.

"How're you doin' there, Giles? Get much sleep last night?" she asks.

"Um, uh, no, no Stewie and I have been working all night on..." Giles starts to explain.

"... Hello there dead girl walking." Stewie says to his sister, ignoring the minions.

"Good Lord. Have you no tact?" Giles asks Buffy's brother.

"... Uh, No... No I don't think I have..." says Stewie looking to Buffy.

"Yeah I have to go with him on that one. He' never developed it. The little monster..." Buffy says confirming Stewie's assessments. "What's this about me dying?" she asks.

"Don't worry. You'll get better." says Stewie.

She gives her brother the look and shrugs her shoulders. "So anyway. We went hunting last night, and it is awfully sweet of you to ask. It's getting hairy out there, Giles. We killed five vampires in one group and almost got discovered by Cordelia and Mitch. On the plus side they didn't think it was vampires, on the minus side, they think we're in a gang." explains Buffy.

"On the whole no real harm done. She already thinks that you and the book ends you hang around with are part of a gang. I'd keep her thinking that. Much easier in the long run." says Stewie.

"That's a bad idea. We don't need the attention or notoriety. I am also worried, about, about the vampires increasing numbers.

"They're getting cockier. Look, I'm not loving it. Last night would have been a pretty close call, without a little help from my friends." she says.

"Yes." replies a distracted Giles.

"Giles, care? We're putting our lives on the line battling the undead. Look, I broke a nail, okay? I'm wearing a press-on. The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest. You could go, 'hmm'." she complains.

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. Um, yes, I'm very glad that you're alright. Uh, I-I need to verify, um... I just can't really talk right now." he says still distracted.

"Fine. That's okay. I can't put it off any longer. I have to meet my terrible fate." she tells him.

"What?!" he asks turning around.

"Biology." she explains.

The bell rings as Buffy and the gang leave the library to go to class. Giles and Stewie watch them go. "Don't you have classes to go to as well?" he asks Stewie.

"They're optional." Stewie explains.

"How so?" he asks.

"They know I'll pass... They also know not to piss me off." explains Stewie.

"You, you really are a terribly scary little boy." says Giles.

"... And it took you this long to come to this conclusion?" Stewie asks. "If you'll excuse me... I think I'll drop by the shop class."

"You have shop this early in the morning?" asks Giles.

"No. Weren't you listening, just now? I drop by when the mood strikes me. Right now... I feel the need to work with wood." he says, as he too leaves the library.

Giles watches him go. He shakes his head and heads back to study Codex in his office.


Sunnydale High School, Out side, after class.




Buffy, Xander and Willow come out of the doors onto the balcony and head down the stairs.

"Wow. That was boring." says Buffy.

"I don't feel that boring covers it." says Xander.

"No, boring falls short." Buffy agrees with him.

"Even I was bored. And I'm a science nerd." Willow agrees as well.

"Don't say that." says Buffy.

"I'm not ashamed. It's the computer age. Nerds are in. They're still in, right?" she asks.

"Willow, You haven't been a nerd in a while. In fact, I've seen the guys and some of the girls giving the new you looks, and checking you out." Xander tells her.

Willow turns red at the praise.

"Yeah I have to agree with him. You're hot. Enjoy." says Buffy with a smile.

"You really think so?" she asks both of them.

They nod their heads.

"Wow!" she says.

"So, uh, Buffy, I wanted to, um... There was this thing I. We, I, wanted to ask you, to talk to you about." says Xander.

"Okay, what's up?" asks Buffy.

"Uh, let's go over here and sit." asks Xander, as he leads her over to a bench.

"Okay, now you're making me nervous." says Buffy.

"Oh, no, no, there's nothing to be nervous about. Really, it's silly. Ha, ha!" he laughs nervously.

Willow rolls her eyes at his nervousness. 'At this rate I'll probably would be better off asking her out myself.'

They reach the bench, but a boy is sitting there. "Hey. Leave." he says with a growl. As the boy leaves, he says "Thanks." He and Buffy sit while Willow looks on.

"Well?" she asks.

"Um... You know, Buffy, uh, Spring Fling is a... time for students to gather and... Oh, God! Buffy, I. We want you to go to the dance with us. You, Willow and me, on a date." Xander asks her

"I-I don't know what to say." says Buffy, speechless.

"Well, you're not laughing. So that's a good start. Buffy, I, we like you. A lot. And I know we're friends, and we've had experiences... We've fought some blood-sucking fiends, and that's all been a good time. But we want more. We wanna dance with you." he tells her on pins and needles waiting for her answer.

"Xander, you're one of my best friends. You and Willow... That's a large step to take. I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship like that, just yet. I don't want to spoil the friendship that we have." she says looking at him and Willow.

"Well, I don't want to spoil it either. But that's not the point, is it? You either feel a thing or you don't." he tells her

"I don't. Xander, I'm, I'm sorry. I-I just don't think of you guys that way." she says.

"Well, try. We'll wait." says Willow.

"Xander... Willow..." says Buffy.

"Come on. We're asking to go to the dance. We're not asking for life altering decisions here. Say, 'yes you'll go out with us.' The worst thing that happens, is you could have fun with us." says Xander.

"Xander, Willow, I'm sorry, I don't know..." she says sadly. She feels like she's about to lose her best friends.

"Nah. Forget it. I'm not him. I mean, I guess a guy's gotta be undead to make time with you." he says

"That's really harsh." says Buffy.

"Xander. No." says Willow.

"Look, I'm sorry. I don't handle rejection well. Funny! Considering all the practice I've had, huh?" he says getting up and leaving.

"Willow..." she asks.

"I'll talk to him, but, think about it. Okay?" she asks.

"Okay." says Buffy.

Willow gives her a quick hug, and runs after Xander.

As soon as Willow disappears through the same door Xander went through Cordelia sits at her bench.

"Hey." she says softly.

"Hey." replies Buffy.

"I couldn't help overhearing... I really shouldn't have been able to, but I was curious so I concentrated on you and wow. I was able to listen in. I'm not going to analyze it just yet, but I couldn't help overhearing..." she says with a smile.

"Ha ha ha ha ha. Thanks. I needed that." says Buffy.

"I'm almost proud of them, but tell them that." says Cordelia. "They've come a long way to overcome their dweeb handicap."

Buffy laughs again feeling lighter by the minute.

"It'd different. That's for sure. I think Harmony would be the only one to say anything, and without any support... Who cares what Harmony thinks." Cordy tells her.

"Stop! Ha ha ha ha." says Buffy laughing so hard she's bust a gut, if she wasn't the slayer.

"... But seriously... What the hell happened last night?" she asks.

"... Gangs on PCP?" says Buffy.

She can see that Cordelia wasn't buying.


Sunnydale High School, The Library.




Giles is on the phone. "Hello. Uh, this is Giles. Uh... Uh, Rupert Giles." he says into the handset.

Ms. Calendar walks in and stands by his office door.

"I-I need to see you. No, I-I realize that. Uh... Come after sundown. Good. I'll see you then." puts the phone back into it's cradle.

"You know, that outfit looks just like the one you wore yesterday. Only wrinklier. Were you here all night?" Jenny asks her man.

"Sorry, uh... I'm not really up to, uh, socializing just now." he says.

"Something's going on, Rupert, and I'm guessing you already know what it is." she says ignoring his attempt to push her out.

"What do you know?" he asks, moving in closer.

"Well, I have been surfing the 'Net, looking for unexplained incidents. You know, people are always sending stuff my way. They know the occult's my turf. Now, here is the latest. A cat last week gave birth to a litter of snakes. A family was swimming in Whisper Lake when the lake suddenly began to boil. And Mercy Hospital last night, a boy was born with his eyes facing inward. I'm not stupid. This is apocalypse stuff. And throw in last night's earthquake, and I'd say we've got a problem. I would say the end is pretty seriously nigh." she tells him, as he hugs her.

"I know I can trust you with my life..." he starts, but she interrupts.

"Look, I'm scared, okay? Oh, plus, I've got this, this crazy monk e-mailing me from Cortona about some Anointed One?" she says.

"The Anointed One? He's dead!" he tells her.

"Someone's dead?" she asks.

"Uh, who is this monk?" he asks instead of answering her question.

"Uh, a brother Luca something? Keeps sending out global mailings about a prophecy." she says burrowing deeper into the hug. He makes her feel safe. She doesn't question it. He just does.

"I need you to talk to him, find out everything he knows." he says, kissing her

"Look, Rupert, you haven't told me jack, so what's with the order?" she says, she returns the kiss.

"Just do it! I'll e-explain later." he tells her with another deeper kiss.

"You better." she says, as she melts inside.


Sunnydale High School, Hall.




"I'll get everything tonight after practice. The guys'll help me." says Mitch.

"Well, it's all in the A-V room. The sound system, and the decorations... And, oh, Aura needs help, um, moving the coolers." she tells him.

"Don't sweat it!" says Mitch.

"Well, bring everything to the Bronze, and I'll meet you there in the morning!" she says.

"Done!" he replies.

"You're so sweet! Why're you so sweet?" she asks with a giggle.

"I dunno! 'Cause I'm usually mean as a snake!" he tells her.

She smiles at him. She spots Willow.

"Willow!" she shouts to attract the redhead's attention. "I'll see you in the morning." she tells Mitch.

"Okay." he says on his way out.

"Willow! I really like your outfit!" she says.

"That's because you're the one who picked it oput." says Willow.

"That's probably why I like it, but I need a favor." she says.

"What kind?" Willow asks.

"Well, the Bronze won't let us use their sound system, and I need someone who knows how to hook one up. If you could just show up tomorrow morning..." Cordelia asks Willow.

Willow sees Xander throwing a ball against the wall in a classroom.

"...I'd be really, really grateful! I mean, I'd talk to you at the dance and everything." she says, almost on the verge of begging. 'God I hope she doesn't make me beg.' she thinks.

"Sure." she says looking at Xander.

"Great! Tomorrow at ten?" she asks.

"Sure." Willow tells her.

"You might as well go to him. I know it didn't go well with Buffy." she says, as she leaves.


To Be Continued.



Alright, fess up. Who ordered all the blood?


Sunnydale High School, Girls Locker Room.




Buffy shuts her gym locker. Two girls walk by chatting. Buffy plays with a stake as she heads to the sinks and puts it down on one. She looks at herself in the mirror and absently turns on the water. She checks her reflection in the mirror one more time, before she looks down and sees that blood is pouring from the faucet.

"STEWIE!" she screams, and runs to the library.


Sunnydale High School, The Library.




Buffy barges through the library doors looking for her brother.

"Giles, you are not gonna believe what Stewie did..." she says.

She stops when she hears Giles talking and looks into his office.

"It's clear. It's what's gonna happen. Uh, it's happening now!" says Giles.

Angel moves into the light to read the Codex, and Buffy sees him.

"Angel?" says Buffy when she sees him. She heads toward the office.

"It can't be. You've gotta be wrong." says Angel.

"I've checked it against all my other volumes. I had Stewie triple check it against the data base he's building. It's very real.

Buffy stops at the door.

"Well, there's gotta be some way around it." says Angel.

"Listen. Some prophecies are, are a bit dodgy. They're, they're mutable. Buffy herself has, has thwarted them time and time again, but this is the Codex. There is nothing in it that does not come to pass." Giles tells him.

"Then you're reading it wrong." Angel tells him.

"I wish to God I were! But it's very plain! Tomorrow night Buffy will face the Master, and she will die." declares Giles.

Buffy is stunned.

"Well, have you verified the text?" asks Angel.

Buffy starts to laugh. Angel and Giles see her and exchange a look. She slowly starts to walk away from the office door. Angel comes out of the office after her. She stops by the table and faces them. Giles stands in his office doorway.

"So that's it, huh? I remember the drill. One Slayer dies, next one's called! Wonder who she is. Will you train her? Or will they send someone else?" she asks.

"Buffy, I..." says Giles.

Stewie comes out of the stacks carrying a book bigger than him. "Melodramatic much..." he tells her, as he put the book on the table. It make a respectable thud.

Buffy ignores him. "They say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt?" she asks.

Tears are flowing freely from her eyes. Angel tries to hug her, but she puts up her hands and quickly steps away.

"Don't touch me!" she tells Angel "Were you even gonna tell me?" she asks Giles.

"I was hoping that I wouldn't have to. That there was... some way around it. I..." he tries to explain.

"He may not have wanted you to know right away, but I did tell you this morning, and like usual, you ignored it. Buck up, it's just death. I'm pretty sure that'll only hurt for a moment, or two. Then I'll make it better." he tells her.

No! There's no need for you to make it better. I've got a way around it. I quit!" she says.

"It's not that simple." says Angel.

"I'm making it that simple! I quit! I resign, I-I'm fired, you can find someone else to stop the Master from taking over!" she tells them.

"I'm not sure that anyone else can. All the... the signs indicate..." Giles tries to explain.

Buffy stops him. "The signs?" she says picking up a book and, throws a book at him. "READ ME THE SIGNS!" she says, as she throws another book. "TELL ME MY FORTUNE! YOU'RE SO USEFUL SITTING HERE WITH ALL YOUR BOOKS! YOU'RE REALLY A LOTTA HELP!" she screams.

"No, I don't suppose I am." Giles replies calmly to her outburst.

"There's no choice here. You have to go down, and die. I've tried to get through to that tunnel bitch, but there's something that blocks all attempts to get to him. The Master is protected. Do your duty, I'll handle the rest after your passing." Stewie tells her.

"..." Buffy is speechless.

"I know this is hard." Angel begins.

"What do you know about this? You're never gonna die!" she tells him.

"You think I want anything to happen to you? Do you think I could stand it? We just gotta figure out a way..." he says.

"I already did. I quit, remember? Pay attention!" she tells him.

"There she goes again. It's all about me in your world, isn't it?" Stewie asks her.

"Buffy, if the Master rises..." says Giles trying to explain the gravity of the danger they're facing.

But instead of listening, she yanks the cross from her neck. "I don't care!" she says. She calms down, and says "I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die."

Giles is at a loss. Buffy throws her cross down. Angel doesn't know what to say either. She walks out of the library without looking back.

"Maybe a Buffy-Bot will work?" says Stewie when she leaves. "What do you think...? Too much huh..." Stewie thinks out loud.

Angel and Giles ignore him.


Sunnydale High School, Outside.




Buffy goes home in a funk. Marcie follows from a distance. 'Stewie must suffer.' she thinks. 'I could be at Xander, having hot monkey sex like it's going out of style, but no! I have to play body guard to the obnoxious and oblivious princess. Stewie Summers must die... Too bad I can't kill him. Not only does the sonova bitch mind control me, but he does it in such a way I'm aware that I'm being mind controlled. I can't do anything to harm him or his family. Joyce, Buffy and Dawn are the Alpha and Omega of my purpose in life. SONOVA BITCH!!!!' she yells inside her head.

She goes over the notes from her book on infiltration and assassination. He made her memorize the book, that and a few others. She know that she can kick any Special Forces guy in any army. The only things keeping her from killing herself are Willow and Xander. 'That's another thing that SONOVA BITCH!!! has left me. I can kill myself if I want. GOD I HATE HIM!!!! There must be a way out of this? How? How? How? Damn him and his mental blocks. I can't even ask anyone for help. As soon as this bitch gets home I'm so going to 'Fuck Xander's brains' out tonight. I can't believe he's still pining for this spoiled princess. So what if she's the Slayer. Apparently they're a dime a dozen.' she fumes.

After a few more minutes of walking they reach 1630 Revello Drive. Marcie waits until Buffy goes inside, before she heads over to Xander's place. 'I think his parents are away for the night. Good! I want to scream my head off tonight. I want to howl at the moon.' she runs, as fast as her legs can carry her.

She can hear country music coming from Xander's Room. She goes into the house. The front door wasn't even locked. She walks up the stairs to Xander's room. Inside Xander is in his shorts, she can hear the shower down the hall. 'That must be Willow. I guess she has the same idea.' she thinks.

"Why the hell are you listening that crap?" she asks.

"It's not crap. Country music is good for you. It's the music of pain." he tells her.

"I don' care what it is. Strip. I need it, and I need it now." she tells him. when he doesn't move fast enough she yells again. "I said Now!" she yell, she rips his shorts off.


To Be Continued.


Nice 'Dress.'



Summers Residence, 1630 Revello Drive, Buffy's Room.





Buffy's looking through a photo album. Jonatha Brooke's "Inconsolable" is playing on the radio. Joyce comes through the door.

Radio "I never knew what enough was..."

"Hi, honey. You alright?" says Joyce.

Radio "Until I'd had more than my share..."

"Sure." she replies.

"Probably just full from that bite of dinner you nearly had." says Joyce.

Radio "I let the darkness in..."

"Feel like telling me what's on your mind?" Joyce asks her daughter.

Radio "And it was then I lost the dare..."

Buffy turns to her mom "Mom, let's go away!" she says with smile.

"What?" asks Joyce.

"Anywhere, just for a while, all weekend!" says Buffy.

"Honey, I..." says Joyce.

"No, it'll be great! You and me, a mother-daughter thing... We can talk about all the embarrassing things you love to bring up." says Buffy.

"You know the gallery's open on weekends. And what do we do with Dawn and Stewie?" replies Joyce.

"Mom, please!" begs Buffy.

"Isn't the Prom tomorrow night? Or Spring Fling, whatever they're calling it?" she asks.

"I-I guess." says Buffy.

"Nobody asked you?" asks Joyce.

"Oh, someone..." she replies.

"But not the right someone. See, sometimes I actually do know what you're thinking." says Joyce. She goes over to Buffy's closet, "Well, then, uh, this probably isn't the best time for this, but, uh..." She opens the closet to reveal a beautiful white sleeveless gown.

"I saw this the last time we went to Rodeo Drive. I figured..."

"Wow! This is..." Buffy was speechless.

"It's from Stewie. We do care about you..." says Joyce.

"It's beautiful." says Buffy, as she checks it over.

"I think you should wear it. To the dance." says Joyce.

"No, I-I can't go to the dance." Buffy tells her.

"Says who? Is it written somewhere? You should do what you want. Homecoming, my freshman year of college. I didn't have a date, so I got dressed up and I went anyway." explains Joyce.

"Was it awful?" asks Buffy.

"It was awful. For about an hour." she replies.

"Then what happened?" asks Buffy.

"I met your father." she says with a smile.

"He didn't have a date either?" says Buffy.

"He did. And that's a much funnier story that you will 'not' get to hear. Oh, but it was a beautiful night!" she says.

"And you had your whole life ahead of you." says Buffy.

"Yeah." replies Joyce.

"Must be nice." says Buffy.

"If you're still feeling down... I'll ask Stewie to send us to Hawaii, for the rest of the weekend." Joyce tells her. she gets up to gives her daughter a hug, before she leaves the room, but a shriek from Dawn's room rips them apart.

"YES! YES! YES! HA HA! HAWAII HERE WE COME!!!" Dawn shouts in her room.

Buffy and Joyce share a look and a smile.

"In this this house... No such thing as privacy. Remember that." Joyce tells Buffy.


Sunnydale High School, Hall, Next Day.


Cordelia and Willow are coming down the stairs. "Oh, Mitch said that he'd bring everything to the Bronze last night. He promised! We'll never get everything ready in time." Cordelia tells Willow.

"He probably forgot. It's not 'that' big a deal." says Willow

"Uh, you don't understand. I'm not mad! He totally flaked on me. On me! And I don't even care. God help me, I think it's cute! Oh..." says Cordelia.

Willow smiles. They reach the Audio-Visual room. They see Mitch and his friends through the windows.

"There they are! They're watching cartoons. That's so cu... That's not cute. That's annoying. I'm annoyed." says Cordelia

"Right. I'm furious." agrees Willow, still smiling.

"Men. I don't know why we put up with them." says Cordelia

"Great sex." says Willow with a huge smile.

"Rosenberg!" says Cordelia scandalized at the no longer nerdy girl.

Mitch is sitting on the floor leaning against it. The room is trashed and the boys are all dead.

"Obviously, Mitch has underestimated the power of my icy stare." says Cordelia, as she opens the door, and Mitch's body falls out into the hall. He has a vampire bite on his neck.

Cordelia screams. "Oh, my God! Mitch! No!"

Willow looks up and slowly goes into the room. She sees the death and devastation.

"Mitch!" Cordelia screams again.

There's a bloody hand print on the TV screen.




Summers Residence, 1630 Revello Drive, Buffy's Room.





Buffy's wearing her new white prom gown, and is looking at herself in the mirror. Joyce comes rushing in.

"Buffy?! There's something on the news. Willow." she says.

Buffy calls Willow on her PDA. Willow tells her that she's home with Xander.




Sunnydale, Rosenberg Residence, Willow's Room.





"I've seen so much." says Willow.

She's on the bed hugging her knees. Xander's hugging her. She's been crying.

"I thought I could take anything. But, Buffy, this... this was different." Willow tells her.

"It'll be alright." says Buffy trying to reassure her.

"I'm trying to think how to say it... to explain it so you understand." Willow tries to explain, but where her words fail, her emotions come through clearly.

"It doesn't matter as long as you're okay." says Buffy.

"That's what Xander keeps telling me, but I'm not okay. We knew those guys. We go to that room every day. And when I walked in there, it... it wasn't our world anymore. They made it theirs. And they had fun. What are we gonna do?" she asks.

Xander doesn't answer. It's Buffy's call.

"What we have to. Promise me you'll stay in tonight, okay?"

Willow nods. Buffy starts to go.

"Buffy?" says Willow.

Buffy stops and turns back.

Willow smiles through her tears, "I like your dress." she says.

"Ditto." says Xander.

Buffy looks down at it and smiles weakly, then looks back up.

"Take care." says Buffy.

"I'll walk you out." says Xander.

Willow looks down sadly and stays on her bed.

When Xander comes back, Willow looks up at him and says "Follow her."

He nods and leaves again.


Sunnydale High School, The Library.


Giles is getting weapons out of the cage and preparing them. Stewie's helping him. A Large St. Bernard dog sits in the corner watching them.

"Okay, so this Master guy tried to open the Hellmouth. But he got stuck in it, and now all the signs are reading that he's gonna get out, which opens the Hellmouth, which brings the demons, which ends the world." says Jenny.

"Yes. That about sums it up, yes." confirms Giles.

"Brain! Could you please bring over my wagon.

The big white dog pushes the wagon over to Stewie.

"Why are you using a gravity powered vehicle outside of the lab?" Jenny asks Stewie.

"Easier to move all these weapons through the sewers." her tells her. "Until I break through the 5th dimensional storage space... this will have to do." he tells her.

Giles pauses for moment when he hears that, but shrugs it off. They may not survive the night, so really it was irrelevant. "You know how to get in touch with this, uh, brother Luca chap?" he asks Jenny.

"Hmm. As far as I can tell, no one can. He's disappeared. Did send out one last global though. A short one." she tells him.

"What did it say?" he asks.

"Isaiah 11:6, which I dutifully looked up." says Jenny.

"'The wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf, the lion and the fatling together, and the
little child to lead them.'" Giles quotes the passage.

"That's kinda warm and fuzzy for a message of doom." she says.

"Well, that depends where he's leading them to. Aurelius wrote of the Anointed One, 'The Slayer will not know him, and he will lead her into Hell.'" he explains.

"So Luca thinks the Anointed is a kid." says Jenny.

"Stewie could you please get the rest of the weapons from the office please." Giles requests.

"Certainly. Come on Brian." he says to the large dog.

"If the vampire that Buffy killed was in fact not the Anointed, then it may well be." says Giles.

"Well, then we need to warn her." says Jenny.

"We don't intend involving her at all." replies Giles.

"What do you mean?" asks Jenny.

"Buffy's not gonna face the Master. We are." says Giles.

"No, you're not." says Buffy

Giles and Ms. Calendar look over and see her approaching.

"So, I'm looking for a kid, huh? And he'll lead me to the Master?" she asks.

"Buffy, I'm not gonna send you out there to die. Now, you were right. I-I've waded around in these old books for so long, I've forgotten what the real world is like. I-it's time I found out." says Giles.

"You're still not going up against the Master." she says.

"I've made up my mind." he tells her.

"So have I." says Buffy.

"I made up my mine first! I'm older and wiser than you, and just... just do what you're told for once! Alright?" he asks.

"That's not how it goes. I'm the Slayer." she tells him.

"I don't care what the books say. I defy prophecy, and I am going. There's nothing you can say will change my mind." he says.

"I know." says Buffy.

She pretends to turn to go, but then throws a hard punch to his face, followed by a smack with 'Her Shovel' to the back of his head, knocking him out. He falls backward to the floor. Ms. Calendar scrambles to his aid. Buffy sees her cross on the table and puts it back on. Ms. Calendar lifts Giles' head in her hands and gets under it with her knees. She looks up at Buffy.

"When he wakes up tell him... I don't know. Think of something cool, tell him I said it." says Buffy.

"You fight the Master, and you'll die." says Jenny.

"Maybe. she says, as she picks up the crossbow on the table. "Maybe I'll take him with me." she replies.

She leaves the library. Ms. Calendar turns her attention to Giles. Stewie comes out of the office his hands are full of weapons.

"What the devil's going on?" he asks.

"Buffy." says Jenny.

He sighs, he opens his laptop and rewinds the recording in the library. "Stupid girl." he says after he's done. "Come on Brian. I guess we'll do this without the Watcher. Jenny, be a good girl and call in the Cordettes. I've a feeling they should be here." he says following Buffy out of the library. The st. Bernard pulls the wagon behind him.


Sunnydale High School, Outside.


Buffy walks a short distance, looking all around, when she comes upon Collin.

"Help me..." says Collin.

She lowers the crossbow and walks over to him.

"It's okay. I know who you are." says Buffy.

Collin holds out his hand. She takes it, and he starts to lead her away to the Master.

Stewie watches, as the anointed one, leads Buffy to her death.

Xander sees the same thing from another direction. He runs to catch up to Buffy.

*Hold your ground!* he commands. Xander was about to go against his master's commands until Stewie's next thought enters his head *Give them a bit of a lead before we follow.*

*I hope you have a plan for this." says Xander.

*When have I never had a contingency plan in place for any situation that comes along?* Stewie asks Xander.

"Brain. Follow her scent." he commands the dog.

"Okay, but I so want a raise after this." says the St. Bernard.

"You are such a greedy bitch." Stewie tells Brian.

"Is it me? Or did the St. Bernard just talk?" asks Xander.

"It's you." says Brain, as he follows Buffy's scent.


Sunnydale, Tunnel System.



Collin guides Buffy in. She has the crossbow up and ready. 'Her Shovel' is at her back, in a quick draw holster. He leads her down some stairs and into a round side tunnel.

Not too far behind, Brain leads Stewie and Xander, by following Buffy's scent and the locator signal in her PDA. The PDA was going in and out so far below the ground, but her scent was strong.


Sunnydale High School, The Library.




Giles comes out of the stacks with an armful of books. "The Master is as old as any vampire on record. There's no telling how powerful he'll be if he reaches the surface."

"Okay, here's my question: the Hellmouth opens." says Jenny.

"Yes." replies Giles.

"Where? If he's underground, and it's right where he is, where's it gonna open?" she asks.

"Good point. Uh, well, look, you have a look through the Black Chronicles..." he says, as he hands her one of the books.

"Okay." says Jenny

"Uh, Willow? Willow?" says Giles.

"Huh?" says the distracted girl

Giles sits down at the table "Could you look through the local histories, please. Check for any common denominators, uh, locations of incidences and such." he asks.

"Right, okay." replies Willow.

"... And like what do we do?" asks Aura. 'For this we're missing The Prom?' she thinks.

"Could, could you each grab a book and look through it?" he asks.

The girls fall all over themselves in a rush to get near him.

He sigh, but he puts up with it. 'It's hell being such a stud. But oh so worth it.' he thinks, as he hands out the books.


Sunnydale, Tunnel System, The Entrance Of The Master's Lair.




Collin stops, and Buffy looks at him. He points down below, inviting her to enter, and leaves the way they came. Buffy watches him go. Then she turns and makes her way down to the floor below. She looks around. There are hundreds of candles burning everywhere.

"Welcome." says the Master.

The Master's voice echoes from all directions.

"Thanks for having me." she replies.

The Master steps into the light to look at her.

"Y'know, you really oughtta talk to your contractor. Looks like you got some water damage." she jokes.

"Oh, good. The feeble banter portion of the fight. Why don't we just cut to the..." he says.

Buffy spins around and launches a bolt in the direction of his voice. With his lightning reflexes the Master catches it in mid-flight right in front of him at chest level. Buffy quickly drops the bow.

"Nice shot." he says, as she shoots him with a full charge from 'Her Shovel'

The Master's smoking form looks at her and snarls. He reaches her in the blink of an eye.

"You still don't understand your part in all this, do you? You are not the hunter. You are the lamb." he growls.

He has his hand around Buffy's throat. She swings up with her arm, knocks his hand away and starts to run. He holds his hand out toward her and she freezes, caught by his hypnotic powers. She looks back at him and can't move. He approaches her, making slow twisting motions with his hand. He comes up behind her, gently takes off her leather jacket and lets it fall to the ground. Buffy is panting hard with fear.

"You tried. It was noble of you. You heard the prophecy that I was about to break free and you came to stop me. But prophecies are tricky creatures. They don't tell you everything. You're the one that sets me free! If you hadn't come, I couldn't go. Think about that!" he tells her.

Buffy is frozen with fear. The Master waits a moment longer and then bends down and bites her at the base of her neck. He drinks a few sips and lets her go.

"Oh, God! The power!" he says.

Buffy falls to her knees.

"And by the way... I like your dress." he says, as she falls face down into the pool of water.

He steps over to the edge of his confines and pushes against the field. He forces his hand through, and his confines break down in a burst of light and energy. He starts up and out of his lair.

A few seconds after his departure. Brian leads Stewie and Xander into the Lair. "You got us lost. Admit it." Stewie says to Brian.

Xander sees Buffy's body floating face down in the water.

"Buffy!" he shouts, as he runs to get her out. "Oh God! She's not breathing!" he shouts.

Stewie and Brain quickly join Xander and start to revive her dead body. Xander starts CPR and Stewie begins by giving her mouth to mouth. "Watch the hands!" he warns Xander, as he continues to breathe life back into his sister.

Buffy coughs after about a minute. She sees Stewie and Xander giving her CPR. She pushes them off. "What took you so long?" she asks.



Sunnydale High School, The Library.




Giles and Ms. Calendar are at the table studying their volumes.

"Well, let's think about this, then. The vampires have been gathering, they know he's coming, they will be his army." says Giles.

"Do you think they'll gather at the Hellmouth?" she asks

"Well, the last time the Master tried to rise was the Harvest. He sent a bunch of vampires to get him fresh blood." says Willow.

"Well, where did that go down?" asks Jenny.

"The Bronze." says Giles.

"The Prom!" shouts Willow.

"We have to warn them." says Giles.

"No! We'll go. You have to concentrate on demon killing. My car's in the lot." says Jenny.

Willow and Ms. Calendar start out of the library.

"Stay close together, and for goodness' sake, be careful!" he tells them.

"We will." says Willow.

"Well girls, it looks like it's just us." says Giles after the library doors close.

"Umm. Hmm! Just us." they say in unison.


Sunnydale High School, The School Parking Lot.




Miss Calendar digs in her bag for her keys as she and Willow head for her car.

"What if they get to the Bronze before we do?" asks Willow, as she looks behind them.

Ms. Calendar looks up and stops, "Don't need to worry about that!" she tells her.

"Why not?" asks Willow

"'Cause they're not goin' to the Bronze." says Jenny.

They look out onto the field and see a hoard of vampires approaching. They look across the parking lot and see more of them. They turn to go back and see even more of them blocking their way. They're surrounded.

The vampires are advancing on Willow and Jenny. "Why are they coming here?" asks Jenny.

"Not caring!" says Willow.

They hear a car screech to a stop behind them.

"Get in!" shouts Cordelia.

Jenny and Willow run into the car.

"I was sitting where Mitch and I used to park, and all of a sudden these things are coming at me!" says Cordelia.

They all scream as a vampire jumps on top of the car.

"What do we do now?" asks Cordelia, as Willow and Jenny take out 'Their Shovels' and start batting vampires away from the car.

"We've gotta get to the library!" says Willow.

"Library! Great!" shouts Cordelia.

She burns rubber and makes a fast U-turn, throwing the vampire off of the roof of her car, and heads toward the school building. The car's
engine races as Cordelia guns it toward the doors.

"Of course, we generally walk there." says Willow.

They crash through the doors and into the hall.

Giles hears the noise and looks up. "What the..."

The car comes crashing through another set of doors and skids to a stop in front of the library.

Giles gets up from the table. "Girls! Get ready!" he shouts.

The Cordettes take out 'The Shovels' from their purses and form a line.

Vampires are running into the hall as the girls get out of the car, screaming as they run into the library. They push the doors closed just as the vampires get there. They lean against the door.

"What's happening?" Giles asks.

"Guess!" says Jenny.

A vampire punches through the small round window in one of the doors and grabs at them. Giles grabs a bookcase and carries it over to the door. Willow swings the sharp edge of 'The Shovel' down with all her strength. It severs the arm, which turns to dust. Her reward is a scream from the other side.

Giles gets the bookcase in place. He grabs the copier and pulls it over, too. The Cordettes jump to help him barricade the doors.

"Why are they coming here?!" he asks.


Sunnydale High School, The Roof Of The Library.




The Master opens the roof access door and walks out. He looks at the view around him of the town at night and smiles. He exhales, walks to the edge of the roof and holds his arms out as he surveys the scene.

"My world! Oh, my beautiful world!" shouts the Mater.

Looking down through the sky light. A green tentacle is worming its way up through the cracks in the floor.


Sunnydale, Tunnel System, The Entrance Of The Master's Lair.




Xander and Stewie help Buffy up.

"Easy. Easy." says Xander.

"The Master?" asks Buffy.

"He's gone up." Stewie tells her. "We must've missed him by a few seconds."

Buffy starts to go.

"No. You're still weak." says Xander.

Buffy stops. "No. No, I feel strong. I feel different." she says, as she looks back at them. "Let's go!" she tells them.


Sunnydale High School, The Library.




Giles and the girls pile more things in front of the door. Giles looks at the back of the library and sees vampires trying to get in.

"They're coming in through the stacks!" he shouts.

"C'mon!" Jenny commands Aura.

She and Aura run to the back of the library.

"The bookshelves!" shouts Jenny.

They lift a bookcase against the French doors that lead to the stacks and lean against it.

"My office..." shouts Giles.

He goes to secure his office, leaving Cordelia and Willow with Harmony, Kate, Amy and Joy at the main doors. The tentacle inches toward Willow's leg. Another vampire punches through the other library door window and grabs Cordelia's arm. She screams.

"Somebody help!" she screams.

Willow swings 'The Shovel' one more time to dust another vampire arm.

"Thanks." says Cordelia.

Another hand replaces the first. Cordelia hits the vampire's hand and then bites it. The vampire screams and lets go.

"See how 'you' like it!" she shouts. "Amy! Give me your Axe!" she commands.

"But it's mine." whines Amy, as she reluctantly passes her 'The Shovel'.


Sunnydale High School, Outside.




Buffy marches determinedly toward the school with Xander, Stewie and Brian close behind.

"So, how do you know where the Master's going?" Xander asks Buffy.

"I know." she says mysteriously.

A vampire tries to block their way into the school.

"Oh, look, a bad guy." says Buffy.

She punches him on her way by, and he falls flat on his back. Xander shoves the sharp wooden end on 'The Shovel' modular handle and dusts it.

Buffy climbs the up the stairs leading to the roof. They come around the corner in the hall.

"Okay, you guys wait here, keep the rest of the vampires off me." she asks.

"Right." says Xander.

"You're such a minion." says Stewie in derision. "Brian, watch her back." he commands the dog.

"Right. What do I get in return?" Brian asks Stewie. "See kid. That's how it's done." Brian explains to Xander.

"Did your dog just talk?" asks Buffy.

"Yeah I talk sister. What's it to you?" Brain asks her.

"Never mind." she says. "One way or another, this won't take long." she tells them. She looks at them once more and then heads up to the roof. Brian dogs her steps.

"How come your dogs gives you such an attitude?" asks Xander.

"That's because he has a personality. You should seriously look into developing one yourself." Stewie tells him, as he starts setting up some of his more lethal toys.

Xander helps him, but he grumbles under his breath, about the evil little Napoleon wanna' be.


Sunnydale High School, The Library.




"This won't keep 'em out for long!" says Aura.

She looks down and sees the tentacle wrap itself around her ankle and screams loudly. Jenny grabs hold of her.

"GILES! GILES!" she shouts, as she starts to swing 'The Shovel' at the tentacle.

Giles comes running out of his office in time to see a huge, green, multi-headed and tentacled demon burst through the floor. "The Hellmouth!" he shouts.

Cordelia can't believe what she's seeing. The creature has three heads and reaches all the way to the ceiling.

Her Cordettes back away from the doors and bring 'The Shovels' up. Amy takes hers from Cordelia's limp grip. "Alright girls! On 'Three!'" she shouts. "Three!" They all shout at the same time they empty the entire charge in the Shovels in one volley. They rip huge chunks out of the Beast.

The Hellmouth beast roars in rage and starts to swing it's tentacles left and right. Half the girls go flying the other half has time to duck.


Sunnydale High School, Stairs.




Vampires rush up the stairs. Xander keeps them back with multiple blasts from 'The Shovel' until it runs out of energy. He then switches to Stewie's, to keep them back. "Is that enough time?" he asks.

Stewie examines the Vampires with a critical eye, and says, "I think that's enough." he presses a button on his PDA and the flamethrower spews napalm down the stairs at the packed Vamps.

The roar of pain from the Vamps rival the one from the Hellmouth Beast. Xander and Stewie quickly make their way to the library. Nothing was climbing those stairs. On his PDA Stewie can see that Giles and the girls would require their assistance.


The Master looks in through the skylight and claps his hands idly. "Yes. Come forth, my child. Come into my world." he says.

"I don't think it's yours just yet." she says.

The Master turns his head and stares at her in surprise. "You're dead!" he tells her.

"I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you." she says.

"You were destined to die! It was written!" he says.

"What can I say? I flunked the written." she quips. It wasn't her best effort, but then he didn't deserve her best.

The Master growls and reaches his arm out to try his hypnosis on her again.

"Come here!" he commands.

Buffy slowly approaches the Master, apparently hypnotized. He grabs her by the throat again.

"Did you really think you could best me here when you couldn't below?" he says, letting go of her neck.

Buffy looks at him curiously "You have fruit punch mouth." she says.

"What?" he asks.

She swings a wide hard punch to his mouth, and he falls down.

"Save the hypnosis crap for the tourists." she tells him.

As he gets up she does a swinging roundhouse kick that connects squarely with his face. He swipes at her and she jerks back, but he manages to slice her with his fingernails across her upper right chest, drawing blood. She punches him in the kidney. He punches her in the jaw. She tries to punch him again, but he blocks her and punches her in the face, sending her flying backward into the wall behind her.





Sunnydale High School, The Library.




Aura screams as the Hellmouth creature tries to drag her away from Jenny.

"GIIILES!" Jenny screams for assistance again.

Giles grabs an axe from the table and rushes up the stairs to their aid.

"Let Go!" screams Jenny as she chops the tentacle holding the girl.

Giles swings the axe into one of the heads, and the creature roars in agony as the women continue to struggle against its tentacles.

The Cordettes along with Willow and Cordelia scatter around the beast, constantly running and jumping to avoid the flailing tentacles and the snapping heads.

They hear screams from the other side of the barricaded library doors, but they don't let the noise distract them.

After a few seconds the screams die down and stop altogether. Then the doors and the barricade explodes inward. Showering the Hellmouth beast, along with Kate and Harmony in splinters and debris.

Giles swings again with the ax and hits the creature. He tries again, but this time it knocks him off of the mezzanine and onto the large table below. It breaks when Giles hits it, and one side falls over onto its end, leaving a huge spike pointing upward.

One of the creature's heads hovers above Giles. Another one faces Willow and laughs.

Xander shoots the laughing head with a full charge from 'The Shovel' He has a fresh energy clip inside. Which he now depletes against the head threatening his Willow.

The head explodes and showers Willow with demon gunk.


Sunnydale High School, The Roof Of The Library.




The Master is ready to continue fighting. Buffy launches herself into a front tuck over his head and lands between him
and the skylight. She kicks him in the side with a side snap kick, but he quickly turns around and grabs her by the neck again.

"Where are your jibes now?" he asks.

She looks behind her and sees the upended table through the skylight.

"You laugh when my Hell is on Earth?" he says.

"You're that amped about Hell..." she says, as she grabs him by the neck "Go there!" she tells him, as she lifts him up and flips him over herself and through the skylight. He falls down and is impaled on the table. He slowly turns to ash until only his skeleton is left. Buffy watches from above. Giles gets up. The Hellmouth creature quickly disappears back into the floor. The vampires are all gone.

"Why didn't you help?" Buffy asks the St. Bernard.

"You were doing fine on your own. I thought you might need some closure." he tells her.

"Look at me. I'm talking to a dog." she tells herself.

"What, so like you're to good to talk to someone like me. Is that it?" he asks her.

This was too much. She ignores the large dog and makes her way back to the library.



Sunnydale High School, The Library.




Cordelia moves out of Stewie's way. He had a flame thrower in his hand and the foot long pilot light was still on. He turns it off when Buffy comes up behind him with Brian. They all walk over to the Master's skeleton.

"The vampires?" asks Giles.

"Gone." answers Cordelia.

"The Master is... Dead. The Hellmouth is closed. Buffy... Buffy?" he says.

"Oh, sorry. It's just been a really weird day." she says with a smile, as she gives Brian another look.

"Yeah! Buffy died, and everything!" says Xander.

"Wow! Harsh." says Willow.

"Yeah, but Stewie and I brought her back." he tells Willow as he hugs her.

"I should have known that wouldn't stop you." says Giles.

Buffy smiles up at him again. "Yeah. I had a little help with that." she says looking at her brother.

"You're welcome. I told you... It's just death. Nothing to worry about. Maybe the next time you're destined to die... Maybe then you'll listen." he tells her.

"... Next, next time. There's not gonna' be a next time." she argues with the little pain.

"Well, what do we do now?" asks Jenny.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to get out of this place. I don't like the library very much anymore." says Giles.

"Hey! I hear there's a dance at the Bronze tonight. Could be fun." says Xander.

"Yeah!" says Cordelia.

"Buffy?" asks Willow.

"Sure! We saved the world. I say we party!" she says, as she looks down at her dress. "I mean, I got all pretty."

"And what about him?" Jenny asks, pointing to the Master's skeleton.

"He's not going anywhere. Loser." says Buffy.

"Brian. Fetch!" Stewie Commands.

They all look at him.

"What? I'm not leaving that thing there for anyone to come along and grab it. There rituals that would bring it back. I think the heart of the sun make a fitting resting place." he explains. "Come on Harmony. We need to get you a new dress. The one you're wearing has blood all over it." he tells his girl Friday.

"Yippee! I get a new dress!" she says giving him a huge hug.

They all start to go and chatter. Buffy trails the group.

"I'm not dancing, though." Giles tells Jenny.

"We'll see." she tells him.

"So what's the story with the car?" asks Xander.

"Oh, that was me, saving the day!" says Cordelia. "By the way. You so owe me a new car." she tells Stewie.

"See Harmony at the office in the morning." he replies.

I'm hungry." says Buffy. "Is anybody else hungry?" she asks.

"I'm not kidding. I'm really, really hungry." she says.

"That's just the death talking. I think you may have also gotten stronger. Here." he says passing her several energy bars. "By the way, I really like your dress." he tells his sister.

"Yeah, yeah. Big hit with everyone." she tells him. "So. Where's angel?" she asks as she and Cordelia walk out hand in hand.

She doesn't get an answer.

"Come on. First dance is with me." says Cordelia.

Everyone looks at her.

"What?" she asks. "Mitch is dead, and everyone else has a date. She's the only friend I'm willing to be seen with tonight. Besides, that's one wicked dress." she explains.

End of Chapter.
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