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Stewie can do better.

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Summary: Stewie gets disgusted with the first season BTVS.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Family Guy
Stargate > Xander-Centered > Theme: Humor
RafMereCFR1534171,628618751,21630 Sep 0913 Apr 10No

Onwards... And Upwards.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Check previous disclaimers.

*Mental conversation*


Sunnydale, SRL Building.





A few hours later General Hammond arrives with SG-2, 3, 4 and six pilots. Three limos were waiting for them at the airport.

Jack and SG-1 met the limos in front of the SRL building.

"Afternoon General. Welcome to Sunnydale." says Jack, as General Hammond exits the limo.

"Good afternoon Jack. SG-1." replies General Hammond in greeting.

"General." says Captain Carter.

Teal'C bows his head slightly in respect.

"I would like to meet that cousin of yours before we begin Jack." says General Hammond.

"He's my cousin's kid actually General, I guess that makes him second... sorta' I think..." jack trails off.

"Regardless of the relationship Colonel. I would like to meet him in person before we go through this." says General Hammond.

"He's resting. There's a certain energy drain that's associated with what he does, and he's already spent quite a bit of energy on us last night. According to Dr. Giles after he puts you and the rest of the teams through the ritual, he'll be drained for a very long time. Looks like that's it for this year." explains Captain Carter.

"Was this information verified by different sources?" asks General Hammond.

"Verified by different sources? Yes, but all sources are associated with Stewie in one way or other. For instance, Dr. Giles is a respected source with several degrees in this field, and he's a person that Daniel can vouch for, but again, even in this case he's not completely impartial. Stewie is his apprentice. Miss Jenny Calendar, a very respected person in her field, but she works for Stewie as a consultant. Stewie himself was reluctant to do this, but he's smart enough to have figured out that he needs us, by us I mean the SGC, at it's best to keep the planet spinning." explains Captain Carter.

"Thank you Captain Carter. Where is Mr. Summers then?" he asks.

"He's resting. Trying to recharge, as much energy, as he can before tonight." explains Danny.

"Any chance we can get a look at what he's making for us?" he asks Jack.

"Sure. You betcha." replies Jack with a grin. "You'll like this." he adds.

Jack leads the way to the fighter assembly building. Jenny and Willow greet the party at the front doors.


Sunnydale, SRL Fighter Assembly Plant.





"Good afternoon General Hammond." Jenny says politely.

"Uh, this is Miss Jenny Calendar, and, and Miss Willow Rosenberg." says Danny introducing the two.

"Miss Calendar, Miss Rosenberg. It's nice to meet you." says General Hammond.

"It's nice to meet you, as well General Hammond." replies Jenny, shaking his hand.

"Hi." adds Willow with a wave. She too shakes his hand when he offers it to her next.

"I'm all yours ladies. I would like to see everything... If that's possible?" he asks.

"Ha ha ha. Not a problem General. We'll do our best to cram everything in at once." replies Jenny with a light laugh. "This way please..." she says pointing to the doors opening behind her.



Sunnydale, SRL Building.





By six P.M. General Hammond and his party were back at the main building. It was a very busy afternoon. His tour guide was none other than Robo Donald Duck. He got a huge kick out of that. He grew up on the Disney character when he was young and thought that it was appropriate that the Disney World creation that opened up his imagination when he was young would show the true world of tomorrow.

"I swear, it's like I was talking to the spirit of Donald Duck. Ha ha ha." General Hammond tells Jack and party.

"In a way General Hammond you were." says Jenny.

"Yes sir. Our guide Donald Duck is an A.I. entity. As far as he's concerned he's Donald Duck." explains Captain Carter. "Stewie has a contract with Disney to supply them with the A.I. driven creations for the new century."

"That's absolutely incredible. I'm taking my granddaughter to Disney on my next vacation. We'll both get a kick out of actually speaking to Mikey and Donald, rather than someone in a costume. It does make a difference." he says.

Stewie, along with his newly promoted henchman Xander, and the Cordettes minus the recovering Harmony were waiting for General Hammond in Stewie's office.

"When I heard about what you were offering us, without first asking for payment Mister Summers. I thought my prayers were being answered. I want to personally thank you for what you've done so far, and for what you're about to do." says General Hammond, when the introductions were out of the way.

"Not at all General. Jack is family, and so are the members of his team now... And not to put it lightly, but this land is my land and this world is my world. No slimy snake, is going to take it away from me, and mine." says Stewie with the utmost seriousness.

Xander tries his best not to smirk at Stewie's declaration, behind his back, and he some what succeeds.

"I'm glad to hear you say that son. This makes me feel a lot better about taking this step." says General Hammond with relief evident on his face.

"Good. Let's get this over with. This is not going to be easy for me." he tells General Hammond. "Girls take your positions. Now!" he snaps.

The Cordettes jump at his command and General Hammond is taken by surprise at the young lad's seriousness. 'I guess from his point of view this must be very difficult. Better not give him anything else to worry about.' he thinks. "Where do you want us son?" he asks.

"Don't worry about that General. The girls will guide you, and your men. This will be done in one shot. I'm not going to be able to do this again after tonight for a very long time. Even so. I'll need everyone's help to pull this off. My people know what to do. At this point all you have to do is go with the flow. I would have preferred more time and a smaller group, but I understand your concerns." Stewie explains. 'Curses. I will not have the opportunity to place him and his people under my control. But I need him and them to be at their best.' he thinks reluctantly.

"Very well son. I understand. Myself and your country appreciate the sacrifice your willing to go through." General Hammond tells Stewie.

'That might be worth something later on. It's better than nothing.' he thinks, "Not at all General. Let's get started. Shall we?"

"By all means son. We're at your disposal. SG-2, 3, and 4. Do whatever these young ladies ask of you. Captain Mitchell you and the other pilots will follow their instructions without any harassment. Understood?" General Hammond says the last bit looking at the pilot.

"Sir. Yes Sir!" Captain Mitchell and the rest of the pilots shout at the same time. 'Whatever this crap is all about, I don't care. Bunch of mambo jumbo, but man I'd give my left nut to get into one of the seats of those fighters. And that blond over there. She's pretty sweet lookin' herself.' thinks Cameron Mitchell.

The ritual was cast as fast as possible and Stewie's unconscious body was taken from the room by Xander and Willow. Giles, Jenny and The Cordettes stay with Jack and SG-1 to greet the new members of the dog pack. Stewie had promised the girls a bit more variety in their diet than just Giles, and he just delivered big time.

The Cordettes and SG-1 move the unconscious bodies of General Hammond and his party into a more comfortable position and wait for them to recover. Aura stays over Cameron Mitchell's body caressing it. She felt his eyes linger on her throughout the ritual. She marked him for herself from the start. She saw that Kate was going to challenge her for the right, but that's something they'll take up in private. After all there were Hyena's in the room.



The Cheyenne Mountain Complex in Colorado, SGC.




General Hammond arrives with SG-3 and SG-4 at the mountain. SG-2 is still in Sunnydale under the command od Major Louis Ferretti, with the six pilots under the command of Captain Mitchell. They would take command of the six fighters when they were ready. Major Ferretti, would help Stewie and his team with the space ship he was building, and would help man it when it was ready to go.

Jack and SG-1 had already beaten him to the mountain by a few hours while they were getting used to their new abilities. Alexander Harris was with them as a civilian consutant. He would get them ready over any unforseen difficulty they would encounter.

Until something came up 'Xander' as he calls himself, was in the gym sparing with Teal'C. He was getting his ass kicked all over the gym.

"Hey Jack. Tell me again why I'm doing this?" asks Xander.

"'Cause Stewie said so." Jack tells him with a smirk.

"Lousy no good overbearing tiny little tyrant." Xander grumbles as once again Teal'C takes him down. But this time it took over five minutes to for Teal'C to get the job done. Xander gets back up and starts the whole thing all over again.

"Gotta give it to the kid. He's more willing to put up with the pain than I am. Learns quick too." Jack says to Carter.

"Yes sir. Stewie said that he has been training him for a while to fight along his sister Buffy. We really need to do something about that sir. It's not right for children their age to fight a war on their own." replies Carter.

"I hear you Carter, but I don't think that it's going to stay that way for much longer. My money's on Stewie doing something to even out the odds in their favor. When we have some free time' I think I'll head to Sunnydale and reconnect with Joyce." he tells her.

"You just want an excuse to be around when something goes down, sir." she guesses.

"Got it in on Carter. Care to join me?" he asks, giving her a look that melts her at the knees.

She lowers her eyes and nods, "Yes sir. I think I will."

"Good. Come on. T looks like he's got things under control here." he tells her. "Watch you right side kid." he shouts to Xander, as he and Carter leave the gym.

The loud curse and yell of pain are his only answer, as Xander hits the floor, one more time. "God Damn it!"

"Ha ha ha ha ha." Jack's laughter can be heard down the corridor, as the door to the gym closes behind them.




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