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Xander and Clank

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Summary: Xander dresses up as everyones favorite Lombax and runs away after he accidentally hears what happened afterwards from Willow

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Games > Sci-FiJacobPhoenixFR21714,0342286,7644 Oct 0914 Nov 09No

NOTE: This story is rated FR21 which is above your chosen filter level. You can set your preferred maximum rating using the drop-down list in the top right corner of every page.

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Chapter One

Xander and Clank

Disclaimer I don’t own Buffy the vampire Slayer or Ratchet and Clank or any other shows.

Also this is my first story so constructive feedback is welcomed and also the story will contain m/m and het pairings.

Chapter 1


As Xander reflected on what happened on Halloween night he looked at his new companion who was on his back, the tiny robot was still there and active, apparently the spell couldn’t destroy him or get rid of all these weapons he had. Earlier that evening he seen what he wanted to dress up as he walked in to the store, he saw a Lombax costume complete with plastic replicas of the weapons, but then he saw the price and his face dropped.

When Ethan came over and said, “That suit looks like it would be perfect for you.”

Xander smiled and said, “It would, but I can’t afford it.”

Ethan smiled and said, “Well young man, if you agree to advertise for me I will let you have it for free.”

Xander eagerly agreed to it.


As he went over to Buffy’s place dressed like one of his favourite characters he saw Buffy dressed in her fancy dress and thought to himself she shouldn’t dress up for Angel.

But anyways Buffy saw Xander and screamed, “What are you?”

“Well Buffy I am Ratchet and this is my best friend Clank who lives on my back.” Xander replied.

Buffy smiled at his choice in costume, so much better then that soldier costume he was going to go as, she thought, he could do so much better then that cheap costume. He looked good; almost like that suit had been made for him.

The night had gone as it should have, until Ethan cast that spell and Ratchet found himself in a small town on a world that was apparently under attack by a bunch of weird things, as he was blasting at the creatures with his Bomb Glove when he heard a scream and went to see a young red headed woman running through walls screaming for help. Ratchet called her to him and she tried to hug him and fell thru him.

Ratchet said, “Well that’s certainly a helpful ability miss.”

“Don’t you recognize me?” the red head said.

“Miss I don’t think I have even seen your species before.” Ratchet said.

Willow started to babble about spells and some one called Buffy and they decided to look for this woman called Buffy.


Ratchet whispered to Clank, “What kind of name is Buffy?”

Clank said “Maybe she’s a special breed of poodle that they taught to fight these creatures?”

As Buffy was running from the demons that she saw running on the smooth rock roads, where was her father’s estate? She thought. Willow lead Ratchet and Clank thorough the chaotic streets watching in shock and awe as Xander unleashed the best of Gadgetron weaponry on the demons that assaulted them constantly, she tried to get him to lighten up on the weapons as they were just children.

Ratchet looked at her and said, “Well ma’am they are attacking us, I would rather it them than us. But maybe your right, I will use one of the lighter weapons I have.”

Willow smiled at that, lighter that meant less powerful right? Less power would be of the good, she thought, as one of Ratchet's weapons destroyed principal Snyder's house. Hopefully he wasn’t home at the time, she hoped to god that they could find Buffy quickly and she could hopefully rein Xander in. When they saw her, Willow’s hopes were dashed into the ground; looks like what ever changed Xander also changed her into a prissy noblewoman.

As Buffy saw the walking Tiger and apparently a commoner come towards her she backed into a blonde man who grabbed her and whispered, “Hello slayer how’s life?”

Ratchet saw Buffy try to get away from the man and screamed “Hey you retarded son of a Blarg, get back here.”

Spike took a look at the whelp that his sire had offered to him a couple of weeks back holding a weapon to his face and smirked. “Sorry mate, guns don’t work on vampires” Spike said.

To which Ratchet smiled “Well lucky for me this is the Cluckenator.”

Spike screamed “The what!?” and then Spike the chicken looked at his new found feathers and decided it was time to run.

Willow screamed “What the hell was that?”

To which Ratchet replied "The Cluckenater, you said I couldn’t simply blast them so I had to switch my strategies to my gadgets rather then my weapons.”

Giles had heard the screams and went to investigate what was going on and he had discovered Ethan’s shop on his own, so when he saw his old friend gloating over the chaos he had caused he punched Ethan out and studied Ethan’s spell on his own then he smashed the statue of Janus. Ratchet’s world went black, Xander had woken up in his home in the morning and went to check himself out in the mirror, musta been a dream he thought everything was till there: his hair, feet, and his tail yep everything’s there wait... Xander’s sleep fogged mind said tail? I shouldn’t have a tail?! Maybe it was part of the costume and he forgot to take it off so he decided to give it a good long tug

“YEOCWCH!!!” he screamed

Looks like its real he thought as he raced back to his room his tail wagging furiously. He opened his door and heard a small giggle.

“Looks like your up.” He looked down and saw the little robot look back up at him and backed off.

“What are you still doing here?” Xander asked

Clank replied “Well, whatever caused me to come alive must have been permanent, cause I am still here as are your gadgets and weapons I might add.”

Xander listened to Clank’s explanation and decided it would have to do, for now, as he and Clank were looking at his weapons and gear he heard his parents say it was time for school. Xander gulped as he got ready for school.


I'm going to have to leave town, he thought as he looked at himself closely in the mirror he had a tail and he noticed that his hair had orange streaks in it if you looked closely enough, that is mostly it looked like he had dyed his hair that way and he could pass it up as a dye job, but the tail that was the problem. He couldn’t hide it and it was to uncomfortable to wear pants over it, as he pondered the problem for a second he had a sudden thought as his Lombax brain came up with a idea. He grabbed one of his holo disguise and altered it so that it would hide the tail, as he activated it he saw his tail and new hair colour disappear and be replaced by his old face and body. He grabbed Clank and prepared for his day, as he walked to school he realized that his disguise system could turn him into any one he programmed into the mini computer.

Xander got into school and walked past Larry who didn’t try to bully him like he usually did, in fact he noticed a lot of the students were avoiding him, he wondered why as he got into the library he saw Giles and the gang talking about him and what he turned into that night.

Buffy was listening to Willow’s description with a look of amusement on her face, “You mean he blew up Snyder’s house? God damn I wish I was there when that happened.” She said.

Willow looked at her and said “Xander might still be dangerous.”

Buffy shook her head she said “Xander is what he will always be a hero, even if he had become one the biggest villains.”

She had no doubt that when the spell ended he would be nothing but a hero, he had a good heart and she would defend him as one. Xander smiled as he heard Buffy’s kind words but he wondered what he could have done to scare Willow so much, he hoped he hadn’t hurt her. As Xander heard Willow’s words he got upset, did he do something bad? What had happened last night? He musta hurt someone for Willow saying those things to him, so he decided to run. Buffy had his back, but the hurt and betrayal that was coursing through his mind was too much as he raced home to grab his meagre savings and the stuff from his time as Ratchet, he decided to buy a bus ticket to what ever bus was leaving at the time.

Buffy had finally calmed Willow down even Giles said Xander’s heart was too good for him to be anything but a protector of those who couldn’t protect themselves. When Angel, who had stayed in the library with Giles for the night had smelt Xander and went to find him in the hopes he hadn’t heard what Willow had said. But as he followed Xander’s scent he noticed it had changed where once his scent filled his nose with the smell of youth and innocence now there was regret and sorrow and fear, Angel did not like this change and he went to tell Buffy and Willow that Xander had over heard what Willow had said. Willow and Buffy’s faces fell as they heard Angel’s news; they knew Willow and Xander were close and if Xander had heard their conversation he might jump to the wrong conclusion and do something drastic.

Giles said “Lets split up; we can cover more ground that way.”

As they prepared to leave the school to look for Xander, Buffy was stopped by principal Snyder and was told that she couldn’t leave school to slack off, Snyder was still pissed off about his house and he was taking it out on every one around him when he saw his favourite target about to leave school. Buffy pleaded with him to let her go.

Buffy said “I am just going to go look for one of my friends.”

Snyder asked “Which one?”

Buffy replied “Xander.”

He said “Let him disappear, he was just a slacker no one would miss him.”

And that's when all the anger and sorrow over Xander hit her and Buffy Anne Summers looked at the principal who had made her life a living hell since he had come into power and kicked him square in the nuts.

As Snyder fell to his knees she smirked “How about that, you do have a pair of those.” and then said “If Xander is hurt cause you slowed me down, I will tell my mother about what happened to Xander and I will tell you, she considers him family as I do you will then have to face both of us and I assure you my mom won’t stop at kicking you in the nuts you misbegotten little troll!!”


Giles had heard Buffy’s scream and hurried to see what had happened just to see Snyder on the ground whimpering in pain and he saw Buffy’s face contort with rage and run out the door slamming it so hard that it literally shook the school.

When Cordelia Chase ran after Buffy and asked, ”Hey what happened?”

Buffy, whose anger had faded into sadness, finally broke down and started to cry, she told Cordelia what happened. When Cordelia heard about what Snyder said she muttered under her breath that if Snyder thought what Buffy’s mom would do to him was going to be horrible he had obviously never met Queen C when she was angry.

Joyce Summers was shopping for groceries when she saw Xander run by her picking up a couple of bags of chips she stopped him and asked what was going on?

Xander replied “Just picking up some snacks for tonight.”

Joyce could tell he was lying to her and asked him what was going on?

“Nothing Mrs Summers.” He said.

Joyce now knew he was lying and resolved to keep him with her until Buffy got home. Xander’s eyes went wide with fear, Mama Joyce wasn’t buying his story and was intent on keeping with her, he had to escape as soon as possible. Joyce was determined to keep him with her at any cost she thought, maybe he would stay if she took him out to dinner yeah food could help then, Buffy and I can fix whatever is wrong. Joyce grabbed Xander’s hand and pulled him with her as she went to pay for the groceries and some Twinkies for Xander too. As she let his hand go to pay for the groceries she saw him run out the door not even caring about the Twinkies, she then knew something was really wrong.

When Joyce got home she called Buffy’s cell phone, when she got Buffy on the phone Buffy said, “Mom kinda busy at the moment could you call back.”

Joyce said “Buffy, what’s wrong with Xander?”

“What?” Buffy screamed, “Where was he?”

Joyce heard the panic and worry in her daughter’s voice and asked what happened. Buffy gave an edited version of what happened and then told her what Snyder said to her.

“That bastard!!!” Joyce swore under her breath wondering how that little worm got to be a principal, “Well anyway Buffy, he was downtown buying chips and drinks for some trip he was planning” she said.

Buffy listened to what her mom had said and felt cold shivers go thru her she knew if Xander wanted to he could disappear forever, she and Cordelia ran to the Bus station with the Cordettes in tow to try to stop Xander from running away. As Buffy and Cordelia searched frantically through the depot they didn’t notice the youngish looking man getting on the bus. Xander’s holo guise had worked; he was out of Sunnydale by 2pm. Though his friends didn’t stop searching for him until 1 week later when they realized he was no longer in Sunnydale


(A/N) hey guys I am considering what to crossover this story with any ideas some ideas I have are X-men the movie, Stargate SG1 but any suggestions are certainly welcome. Use your imagination
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