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The Evils of Beer

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Summary: The consequences of a foolish night of drinking for Riley...SLASH FICTION, GRAPHIC SMUT AHEAD

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Romance > Mystery PairingDennSedaiFR21714,0702115,24610 Oct 0927 Oct 09Yes

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Part One

Graphic Smut ahead, not in this part, but soon to follow. Dom/Sub, Male/Male sex scenes, three-way pairings at some point (male/male/male).

I do not own or claim any rights to the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The rights to the show belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc.

Sighing Xander hung up the phone. Of course, he was the one that had to deal with all the stupid crap that went on. Buffy got pissed off at Riley, because he went and slept with her, while Faith was in her body, and she was in Faith’s.

Big whoop, Captain Cornfed, was too stupid to tell the difference. So why was it that he had to go out and hunt down Riley, because he was apparently missing in action?

Because Buffy was worried and had to do her usual patrol and couldn’t go looking for him, but didn’t want to be responsible if something bad happened to him.

Heading out Xander, decided to try the Bronze first, after all they all usually hung out there. If not there were a few other places he could try as well. Damn but he had been looking forward to a peaceful night.

Reaching the Bronze, he headed in. After a few minutes of searching and not finding Riley, he marked that off his list. Moving on to the next bar on his list, ditto. After hitting most of the likely bars, he was left with Willy’s. He really didn’t think Riley could be that stupid, but then again he might be.

Reluctantly he headed to Willy’s, pausing outside the door, he heard a familiar voice rise, demanding another shot of whiskey. Rolling his eyes, Xander sighed. Of course Riley had to choose to go and get drunk at Willy’s. If Buffy found out about this one, there was no way in hell she’d ever forgive Riley.

Shaking his head Xander decided he better intervene before Riley ended up in even more trouble than he likely was already. Heading into the bar, it took him a moment to spot Riley. Heading over to the corner table Riley was sitting at he sat down as well.

Staring at him Riley tried to focus. It took him a moment, “Hey Xander, what are you doing here?”

“Looking for you Riley, Buffy was worried when you didn’t show up or call, and pestered me to go looking for you,” Xander said. “More to the point, what the hell are you doing here Riley?”

“Getting drunk,” he managed to say without slurring it too badly. “Buffy doesn’t want me anymore and I don’t want to deal with it right now.”

“Yeah, well if she finds out that you were here, of all places she’s definitely not going to take you back. So let’s go big boy, as you definitely have had too much to drink,” Xander said bluntly. “I for one would like to get back home and get some sleep before I have to work tomorrow. Some of us have real jobs and a real life.”

“Like I don’t?” Riley said, “I mean it’s not like you are going to make something of yourself…”

“I’m going to ignore that you said that Riley. I’ll just put it down to the drinking.” Xander said, feeling his anger flare hot and bright. “You and I are leaving now, and if you don’t cooperate with me, I’ll just go and tell Buffy where I found you. Then she can deal with you’re sorry ass. It’s not a problem for me either way.”

Arching one eyebrow, Riley paused at that thought. “All right, I guess we better go then.”

Getting up Xander, walked over and helped a very drunken Riley up out of his seat. Putting Riley’s arm around his shoulder, and one of his own arms around the other man, Xander half walked half dragged the drunken commando out of the bar.

Once they got out of there Xander sighed. There was no way he was going to be able to get the drunken commando back to his dorm room back on the college campus.

Even if he didn’t smell like a brewery, which he did, there was no way he was going to lug Riley all over the place.

There was no other easy choice; he was going to have to take him back to his own apartment.

“You better appreciate this,” Xander muttered under his breath, as he headed towards his car, half dragging the drunken Riley along.

Getting over to the car, he managed to get the passenger side door open and Riley into the car. Slamming the door shut, he walked around and got in on the driver’s side. Heading back to his apartment, Xander silently fumed.

Damn, but this wasn’t his job. First he’d had to deal with fangless and now with Riley. What was it with everyone dumping problem people on him to take care of? Hell, now that Spike was back out on his own, Xander didn’t have to deal with that headache at least, but now he got a fresh one to deal with.

Finally getting back to his place, he parked, and got out, going around to the passenger side of the car to drag Riley up and out of the car and into his apartment. Managing to get in the building without anyone else seeing them was a definite plus, Xander decided.

Propping Riley up against the wall, Xander got out his keys and quickly unlocked the door, before dragging Riley in. Laying the almost passed out boy on his couch, he went to the kitchen, and started a pot of coffee.

No way was he going to have to deal with Riley the whole night. He was going to get him at least partially sobered up so he didn’t have any unexpected and most definitely unwelcome messes come morning.

If Riley sobered up enough to catch a cab back to his dorm at college, even better Xander thought, though he doubted that this was likely. Heading back out to check on the commando, he struggled to prop him in an upright position on the couch.

“All right Captain Cornfed; let’s get you sitting up right, and somewhat more comfortable. The coffee will be ready in a few minutes and you’re going to drink at least a little bit to sober you up as much as possible.”

“My name’s Riley…not Captain and not Cornfed,” he protested in a slurred voice. “And what am I doing here?”

“Getting sobered up at least partially, and not getting caught by Buffy being a shit faced drunk.” Xander replied bluntly, “For which, you should be grateful.”

“Sure thing…” Riley managed to say before falling back and passing back out again.

Sighing Xander, just got up and headed to the kitchen while he waited for the coffee to finish brewing. A few minutes later as the last of the coffee finished brewing Xander, got down a pair of mugs, filling both with some sugar, and his with cream as well he then added the coffee before heading back out to the living room.

“Wakey, wakey.” Xander said, “Come on Captain Cornfed, it’s time to drink your coffee.”

Shaking the other man’s shoulder gently, Xander persisted steadily. “Come on Corned, it’s time to try and sober up a little, the coffee will help with that.”

Groaning Riley cracked one eye partially. “Just leave me alone, already.”

“Not a chance Cornfed. It’s time to drink your coffee and you’re going to drink it.”

“Fine…just quit calling me ‘Captain Cornfed’ and all. It’s stupid,” Riley managed to say with some comprehensibility.

“Fine, whatever. Just drink your damn coffee. I don’t feel like having to deal with any unexpected, not to mention unwelcome surprises come morning,” Xander said bluntly. “Plus, I don’t feel like trying to get you undressed so you can sleep more comfortably.”

Lifting up the mug of coffee, Xander held it so Riley could take a small sip and then another.

Setting it down again, Xander sighed. ‘Just what I don’t need tonight,’ he thought to himself. ‘This idiot’s going to push all my buttons.’

Picking up his cup of coffee Xander took a few sips. ‘It’s not fair; I mean why the hell do I get stuck with this drunken idiot here? Not that he’s not hot, but I so know he’s not that way. I don’t need this shit tonight.’

Taking a few more sips, he set his mug down again, before poking Riley in the side.

“Drink some more coffee. I promise it’ll help a little bit, but I doubt it will clear things up all the way. Given how much you probably had to drink.”

Forcing his eyes open Riley took a few more small sips. “So why are you doing this?” Riley asked, his speech slowly clearing up, “I mean; I know you don’t like me for whatever reason. So why?”

“Because Buffy is my friend, and she asked for my help. And also because, even though I can’t really stand you, I don’t want to hear the headache and heartache if you got munched on by a vampire or something worse. Personally, I couldn’t care less.”

Sighing, Riley leaned back again. ’I don’t know what I’ve done to Xander, to make him hate me so much, but I've clearly done something.’

‘Hell, if it wasn’t for the don’t ask, don’t tell policy that the armed forces had, I would have been more than a little tempted to make a move on Xander. Even though I'm with Buffy, I have to admit the dark haired lad, has some potential.’

Listening as the younger man set the mug of coffee down Riley wondered if he dared make a move. He could always pass it off, as being too drunk to realize what he’d done. Thinking about it a moment longer, he listened as Xander obviously picked up his own mug of coffee and had some more of it.

‘The hell with it,’ Riley decided. ‘If he freaks out, I’ll just act like I didn’t know what I was doing.’ Waiting a few moments longer, he waited till he heard Xander put his mug down, before he let himself slump over onto Xander.

“Hey, watch it Cornfed,” Xander said. “I’m not Buffy and I’m definitely not the couch.”

Even as he heard Xander’s complaint, Riley let himself take things one step further, and kissed Xander on the neck, sloppily as he wasn’t in control of himself at that point.

Jumping up Xander freaked. “Hey, knock it off. I’m definitely not Buffy, so don’t go trying to plant one on me.”

Letting himself slump down on the sofa completely Riley waited to see what Xander would do next.

“All right, obviously the coffee’s not going to do it. And I’m definitely not going to try and drag your sorry ass into the shower to sober you up. So let’s just see if I can get you into the spare bedroom and you can just sleep it off,” Xander said, staring down at the drunken commando.

‘Jeez, but I wish he was that way, but he’s not. And if he even remembers what he did in the morning I’d be surprised. Not like, I’m going to take advantage of him and have him come looking for my head tomorrow. Besides which, Graham would be way beyond pissed.’

Pulling Riley up into a sitting position, Xander slid one arm around him, and slowly managed to drag him upright. “Let’s go Captain Cornfed, you can lie down on the bed and just sleep it off. I’m not dealing with this anymore tonight.”

Half walking and more than half dragging him, Xander manoeuvred the drunken boy into the spare bedroom. Dragging him over to the bed, he just barely managed to get him up and on the bed.

Pausing to catch his breath, Xander reached down to untie Riley’s shoes before removing them. Then he pushed the younger man closer to the center of the bed, before leaning in to loosen his belt a little bit so he could hopefully sleep somewhat comfortably.

Pausing a moment more Xander decided the hell with it. Undoing the commando’s belt, he unbuttoned his pants, and pulled them off. Pausing a moment, Xander stared at the bulge in Riley’s shorts. ‘Damn, but he’s packing something nice there,’ Xander thought. ‘That must be why Buffy likes him so much, not to mention Graham wanting him as well. Hmmmm.’

Reaching up, Xander slowly unbuttoned Riley’s shirt, before he tried to get that off. As he managed to get one arm out, and start on the other, he froze in place when Riley grabbed him, pulling him in close. “God, I want you.” Riley said, before he pulled Xander in close for a kiss.

Frozen in shock, Xander didn’t pull away at first. As he felt Riley’s tongue trying to push its way into his mouth, he debated for a split second, before giving in. ‘He probably won’t remember in the morning anyway.’ Xander thought to himself. Giving in to the kiss, Xander gave as good as he got, after all this was probably a onetime deal, so what the hell.

Groaning, Riley couldn’t believe Xander’s reaction. ‘Damn, but the boy was a good kisser. I’d never expected that Xander would respond to my kiss, but god damn.’

Breaking off the kiss Xander pulled away slowly. Leaning in closer, he finished stripping off Riley’s shirt.

“Night Cornfed. Hopefully, you won’t remember this in the morning. Even if you do, I’m going to deny it,” Xander said softly. “Not that I’ve got any objections, but still. If Buffy knew about this, she’d kick my ass and kill you or possibly both of us.”
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