I don’t own Supernatural or Buffy. I make no profit from writing this story.AN:
This is mostly just a filler chapter. A promise of things to come, as well as an explanation. I’m putting my own spin on a few things --Lucifer’s defection, Castiel’s creation, and God to name a few. If this is likely to offend you, please don’t read.
Just a warning, Castiel is very emotional in this chapter. Probably much more than last chapter except, this time he’s reacting to God’s emotions rather than his own. Yes, God has emotions!
This hasn't been beta'd. Let me know if you find any mistakes and I'll work to correct them.
Changes to spelling and grammar made 1/4/11. Thank you, Luna, for pointing out one of my mistakes that got me looking for others. :)
As Castiel pulled his presence, his Grace, from within Dawn, he felt a tightness in his chest. If he had such a shape, a form that could be comprehended in such a manner as to have
a chest. It wasn’t something he had ever felt before, or rather something he had felt from himself. It was something that no angel should ever feel. It was such a human emotion, an emotion linked with freewill and humanity.
Castiel’s mind turned back, plucking the memory from the depths of his mind. He couldn’t say for sure how long it had been since the memory took place. Heaven had no time, had no need of it for Heaven was eternal. Time flowed in Heaven like fierce waves crashing onto a sandy shore, forward and back, never the same, never something that could be measured.
If he had to say though, he would guess it had been a month ago, Earth time. He had been watching the most recent appointment of tasks and charges. The war was shining brightly on the horizon and tasks were plentiful.
One moment he had been watching Michael read off the scroll in his hands and the next he was somewhere else, somewhere different and unknown. Except, it wasn’t ---unknown, that is. This was a place every angel knew of. A place that only those rare few were allowed to gaze upon. The beauty of this place, this sacred place was enough to make Castiel’s breath catch.
It was with this action that Castiel noticed he had a form. It was vague, no true features to speak of but his shape was wholly humanoid. His wings, black as night and so very large, he hadn’t known they were that large by human perception, stretched on either side of him. He could see them, feel them but there was no strain from keeping them arched as such an angle.
He turned his gaze from his wings, taking in the magnificence around him. There were trees and flowering shrubs that hadn’t been seen in millions of years. Castiel breathed in the scents of trees and flowers as they were meant to be. The colors were also not what the angel was used to. Time and human negligence had dulled his Father’s beautiful creations. This first slice of paradise had also become the last, protected by his Father’s embrace.
The voice came from all around him and yet it came from nowhere, as if it had been planted right into his head, into his very thoughts. The pain came seconds after the voice, staggering Castiel and sending him to his knees with a pained cry.
The pain was new. He had felt pain, of course. Training for the war was not something to be taken lightly but this pain, the intensity of this feeling could have driven him mad. He wondered, in some protected, untouched place of his mind, if this was the pain the humans below felt when touched by the voice of an angel. If it was, it was no wonder they went mad from it.
Tears, shining, pearly white tears, slid from formless eyes as Castiel cradled his head, trying with all his might to muddle through, to protect himself from this voice as it echoed and resounded through his head.
“Hush now, Castiel. You were made for this, created to withstand my voice, just as your brothers and sister who came before you were. The pain will pass if you relax and allow it to wash over you,” the voice instructed.
Castiel thought stubbornly to fight, to tense up further but there was no disobeying this voice. It was this feeling of utter obedience, of a landslide of emotion that rose up in him, more than being in the Garden that forced him to realize who this faceless voice belonged to. This was his Father’s voice and there was no disobeying him.
The angel relaxed, slumped over into the shimmering grass and allowed the voice to slide over and through him. The pain didn’t fade completely but it came in surges, washing through him like a heart pumping blood.
“There now. Isn’t that better?” The voice, God, didn’t wait for an answer. “There is much to discuss and very little time before someone realizes you are gone.”
Castiel wondered, if secrecy was so important, why God didn’t hide them or just force the other angels to look elsewhere.
The was a rumble through the ground and a harsh breeze swirling through the upper leaves of the trees. It took Castiel a moment to connect that this was God’s way of laughing.
“I created you, my first children, to resist my powers. You were obedient but a piece of myself went into the creation of each and every one of you. You look to me like a father. You feel my love and my disappointment as any child would.” A sigh ruffled the trees. “But like every child, you grow and you learn. My will grows stronger in most of you. You may question. That’s the nature of children, after all but still, you follow me, you continue to believe in me, but in some,” God trailed off. “Ah, my rebellious little children. They buck my will, throw tantrums to get my attention. They like to believe I don’t listen. That I think less of them.”
Castiel thought this was odd. His Father talked as if angels had free-will but that contradicted everything Castiel had been taught.
God sensed where Castiel's thoughts were going and posed the vital question, “How can there be fallen angels, if your only thought is obedience? You were created to be obedient, yes, and I thought as you do now, but I learned differently. I began to see the truth with the creation of the humans and Lucifer’s reaction to them. It was then that I knew my will wasn’t absolute. Maybe it was always like that, something that was meant to be, or maybe I stretched my power too thin between the angels and the humans. You may not wish to think it, but I was young once, back then and I reacted. I tried to bring Lucifer back into the fold but he fought ever harder. I understand now why he did it,” God spoke sadly. “He loved this paradise I created and he loved me. No father wishes to look upon his children and see the wrongs they’ve committed but I see them, both the wrongs done by Lucifer and the wrongs by these humans I have made. I love them, even now, but I am not blind. Lucifer looked upon the humans and saw what they could become. I saw it then too ---not all of them but there would be those who would exercise their free-will. Call it a moment of madness but I knew this when I created them. What Lucifer could not, would
not see, was the beauty these creatures could create. The depths of their souls and the wondrous emotions they could feel.”
Castiel heard the awe in his Father’s voice as he spoke of the humans. Castiel thought of what he knew of them and wasn’t sure he could see it but he trusted his Father’s choices.
“Lucifer didn’t understand that you must take the good with the bad and the bad with the good and he turned from me when I would not destroy them. As I said before, I was young then and I didn’t know it at first. Lucifer returned to the fold and everything appeared as it was, as normal as Heaven could ever be. He was my Morning Star and I thought my power was absolute. It was at this time, blind as I was, that he began preaching to his brothers and sisters. He turned them against me, planted the seeds of doubt of me and hate of the humans. He began to show himself to those humans on Earth, whispering in their ears and they used their free-will for Lucifer’s purposes. He had them commit heinous acts in my name in hopes that I would be angered. Things turned dark and war approached. Angel against angel, brother against brother, and they fought in my name. This was not what I had wanted,” God admitted. Lost in his thoughts and memories, he appeared to be talking mostly to himself at this point.
Castiel settled more comfortably and listened intently. He had been one of the few created after Lucifer had fallen, after he had been locked away --created to take up the jobs of those lost, whether to a true death or to defection.
“My children fighting and dying for what they believed in and I could do nothing to stop them. I tried. I managed small amounts of time but Lucifer was a charismatic leader and managed to rally his troops and before long my loyal children were dragged back into his fights. There was only once where the fighting stopped for any length of time. When the fighting resumed, Lucifer’s ranks had swelled. Monstrous things now followed him.” Horror filled God’s voice as he spoke. “Lucifer boasted of his creations when we spoke. I was the only one to ever know how they were created. I managed to enact my will over him on that one point. The last I was ever able but it’s something I am grateful for. The others had no need to know how these creatures came to be.”
“Demons,” Castiel whispered. Emotions swirled though the lightly scented air of the Garden, emotions that were almost touchable; they crashed through the seated angel, vibrating along his being. All he could do was allow them to wash through him. He had no way of dealing with them, naming or cataloging them. Emotions were unknown to most angels and those who made feelings known were taken in for reprogramming. It was something Castiel had only had to deal with once and he had no wish to go through it again. Even knowing they were coming from his Father --if God could feel them, why was emotion such a bad thing in his children, in his angels? --it was instinctual to shy away from them. Castiel held tightly to his control, refusing to acknowledge these emotions as he listened, interested, to the story God was spinning.
“Yes, the creatures were demons. They had form then, monstrous forms and a bloodlust unlike anything I had created. I could do nothing less, after seeing what he had created, than to have Michael cast Lucifer out of Heaven. Lucifer was forced to Earth. A great deal of his power was lost with his connection to me and to Heaven. I was surprised when his demons were cast down with him. I thought with their connection to his power gone, they would fade from existence. Instead, they lost their forms. The blackness of their hearts laid bare for all to see. They became as you know them now, black clouds of evil.”
There was a pause, the ground beneath Castiel shook, trees ruffling as God sighed. “We thought the war was over. Lucifer was nigh powerless, his demons bodiless. Then Michael brought it to my attention that angels were disappearing. Michael had managed to ascertain that it was Lucifer’s doing. He was trying to steal a grace, to regain his connection to Heaven and the power that came with that connection. I was unsure of what to do besides call back those angels on Earth. Sadly, that left their human charges unprotected. The next wave of the war we discovered the true extent of the new forms these demons had gained. No more were they the slavering beasts in monstrous forms. They were much more intelligent but the true power of them was revealed when they attacked. They came wearing the bodies of those the angels had sworn to protect and when they attacked with the same ferocity of the demons of old, the angels were unsure of what to do. They had sworn to me to protect my creations and yet, they had also sworn to defeat these demons. Many were slain in the confusion and chaos unleashed.”
The Garden was silent, not a sound or a ruffle of wind. This silence left an air of respect hovering over Castiel. He knew that is Father was remembering those that had fallen that day. Their names had been written into Castiel’s memory, in all those who had been created after the war, as a remembrance.
“Many lines and destinies were destroyed that day. But the true horror came when Lucifer, more powerful than ever before, entered the battle. I was sure that he had somehow succeeded in his plan to steal a grace
. But the power he displayed was different than anything I had created in this world.”
There was something about that last sentence that bothered Castiel, something in the way it was phrased --this world
. God gave him no time to examine the thought as he continued speaking.
“He was getting help but it was from nothing in this world. I kept my suspicions to myself, helped in the war when I could, and investigated when I couldn’t. That was how I discovered what Lucifer had done. He had brought beings into this world from another. These beings weren’t evil, per say, but they also weren’t good. They were neutral. They were beings obsessed with balance. Lucifer was my direct opposite but he was powerless. They gave him power to rival my own --for balance. They helped him to create more demons, demons with enough power to rival my Arch-Angels. Except, they didn’t expect Lucifer to tip the balance with his new powers. He ripped a hole in the world and allowed a world overrun with demons to pore through. Demons, far worse in many ways, than his own creations, came through the rips. They laid waste to large parts of the world. These beings, balancers that they were, that had been actively working against me, now worked with me to plug the holes. That’s all we could do though, push plugs into the holes and seal them over. It prevented the flow of demons but there were still those already here.”
“What did you do?” Castiel asked, unable to stop himself. He had gotten so caught up in the story, leaning forward to hear more, unaware that it was God’s emotions that were affecting him so. Unused to emotion, he had no way to keep them out. He could only react to them.
“As powerful as we were, these beings and I, we were unable to do anything about those already here. They were creating chaos and Lucifer was getting his wish. They were killing for the pure joy of it but they also needed humans as sustenance. We had
to stop them. It wasn’t easy and it cost the lives of many more of your brothers and sisters. We managed to expel them from this world but the last to leave certainly didn’t leave quietly. He put up a fight, managing to inflict much harm on one of the humans that had pledged to help. After the demon was gone, Michael watched over the human, tending to his injuries. Azrael was one of the first to be lost, his power to heal was lost with him, so the job was tedious. Sadly, Michael could not save the human and he passed on. His soul returned to Heaven and he was rewarded for his deeds with paradise. Michael cleaned his body and laid him to rest, returning to Heaven afterward.”
“So everything was back to the way it was. What happened to these beings? Did you change their mind about helping Lucifer? Did they take the power back?”
“Even if they had, it wouldn’t have helped. These beings had brought change to the order of this world. They had brought balance and, whether they left or not, balance would remain. It was set into the very fabric of reality now. It was for this reason that the events to come happened. With this new breed of demon gone there was a hole in the balance, a hole that had to be filled. Siler, or rather, Siler’s body rose from his place of rest three nights later. His soul was still in Heaven, undisturbed and with no connection to his body. With the war back in full, it took us longer than it should have to realize there was a problem. By this time, Siler had infected others, who in turn infected more. We were being overrun by something I had not created, by something no one of this world knew how to deal with.”
“The first vampire,” Castiel said with narrowed eyes. This was not how history was told amongst the angels. This history was so very different from the paradise world the others talked of but Castiel trusted his Father to always speak the truth. Still, he wondered why he was being told this. If none of the other angels, even those who were there, remembered it this way, why him?
“Yes, vampires evolved with time, split into different sub-species like all creatures are wont to do but they are essentially the same beings.”
“What happened then?” Castiel asked, feeling like one of those human children that asked for a bedtime story, but the subject matter was fascinating. This was history, the true history of this world, told by the being that had created them all. Castiel felt pride for his Father and an up swell of love that shined brightly from his vague form.
“The balance was tipped in Lucifer’s favor. The humans below were caught in the war and they cried out for help, prayed so strongly for it that I had to respond. Still, I wasn’t sure how to help them. It was then that the beings came once again. They spoke of champions and magic to rival that of the demons. They spoke of protections against the new creatures that were cutting a path across the world. These creatures came under my rule now and while I couldn’t kill them, I could alter them. I could make them easier to deal with for the humans below. I could give the humans the knowledge of how to deal with them. I chose those whose prayers were the loudest and I blessed them with my gift. They became the first Earth witches and they protected their villages, passing the knowledge on to those around them.”
There was a tinge of sadness that Castiel could taste in the air and he wondered why that was. Wasn’t it a good thing that the humans now had a way to protect themselves? He asked that question aloud.
“Their magic sank into the Earth, pooling into the dirt, rising into the trees. The world breathed the magic, made it a piece of itself and changed the humans who lived in areas of concentration. They too, now had the ability to wield this magic, but not all humans wished for the same things. The magic was neutral. It didn’t care who wielded it or what they used it for. There were wars over who could live on magic concentrated areas and how those humans could use that magic. I tried to make up for my error. I put a block on the magic but the most I could do was make it so that only those strong of will could use it. It didn’t stop the evil that was being done with my gift, but there were
fewer who could now use it. Sadly, not many were up to being protectors and the vampires swept across the world once again.”
The world shook around the seated angel, anger swirling through the air. Castiel cowered into the tree at his back at the destructive power of that anger, that rage. The emotion sucked the light from the air and he was sure, had he need to breathe, he wouldn’t be able to. It buzzed through the air for a minute or an eternity before it was gone, wind rushing harshly around him before the calm returned.
“This time, instead of looking to me for help, men of shadow took a girl --young, much too young, and tied her to the Earth. They summoned one of Lucifer’s demons and tried to bargain with it but when that didn’t work, they turned the power I had gifted them with onto the demon and bound it to the girl. They suppressed the mind, left the strength, the demon’s skill for war, and it’s ability to sense its brethren behind. They sent that little girl out to make war in their name while they cowered from the darkness,” God’s voice was harsh, booming through the trees and chilling the air of the Garden. “She was shunned for what she had become. Not human but also not demon. She became feral, lived and breathed the fight. I couldn’t stop it. This was my world, my creation and I could do nothing. I created this world, this paradise, and now I was powerless in the face of all that I had created. I could do nothing but watch it destroy itself,” God said with a bitter chuckle.
Castiel thought of the human’s saying, of how God had created them in his image. He had thought it was a falsity, a pleasant myth to help them sleep at night but listening to his Father talk, he found it might not be so far from the truth. His emotions were bright and harsh, a thing of beauty.
“I knew this had to end. I called for Michael and through him I cast Lucifer from this world. I created a cage in one of the rips in reality Lucifer had made and I locked him in. His creations, his demons, were pulled into the darkness with him through their ties to him. In a fit of rage, I sent the angels who had served under Lucifer into the depths with them. The demons from the other world remained but were easier to contain once the war was truly over. The only demon of Lucifer’s ilk to remain at that time was the one bound to Sineya. Bound as it was, it passed from child to child and I was unable to break that bond. These girls were of a great help in the fight and were honored for their sacrifices. Millions of Earth years passed before the first demon managed to break open a crack in their prison. They hid themselves in a human, worked in secret to free others of their kind. They worked diligently to open their prison, their Hell, completely. They freed enough that they had hopes of breaking Lucifer free from his cage.”
There was a pause that had Castiel leaning forward once again, waiting with bated breath for what was to come next.
“We come to the part of the story I brought you here to hear. It was at this time that I created it. There was nothing else I could do. The seals holding Lucifer in weren’t working. I needed something more powerful. I reworked the seals, added more, gave them impossible combinations. I even used my first daughter, Lucifer’s favorite, in hopes that he wouldn’t wish her death. Even then, I knew it wouldn’t matter to him. If it got him free, he would slaughter ever one of his creations. So, I locked the seals and I broke off that bit of my power so that even I wouldn’t be able to free him. I made a Key and I entrusted Michael with its care.” A sigh whistled through the Garden before God continued. “Michael failed. The Key was stolen. Still, even with the Key, they had no understanding of how to use it. The seals needed to be broken individually. In the chaos that followed, the Key was lost. It was hidden even from me. I have my suspicions of how but I won’t bore you with them. The world carried on. The war was fought silently. The humans evolved enough to join in ---the first hunters,” God laughed. “The Key turned up centuries later in the hands of an order of monks. I wasn’t the only one to find it however. The demons knew where it was and influenced a group of knights. The demons had hopes that if the Key could be destroyed, Lucifer would be free. It wouldn’t have worked but it also wasn’t something I could allow. The Key, in the time it was lost, had developed a sentience, of a sorts. I couldn’t allow it’s destruction now. I blessed the monks with enough power to protect it. They did a magnificent job for many centuries,” God stated proudly. “Then the walls between this world and another was punched through. Two of the ruling body had overruled the other and sent her through to this world. They shielded this power, placed many protections on it and it was lost to me until it began searching for the Key. How she knew of the Key I’m sure lies at the feet of the demons. The monks were overwhelmed by this power. Many lost their lives in the Key’s protection. They had the idea of hiding the Key in much the same way as Glorificus had been hidden. I lent them the power to do so. The Key was turned human.”
“Human?” Castiel asked, frown furrowing his brow. “Why would you turn it human? It couldn’t protect itself that way, could it?”
“No, the Key couldn’t protect itself but then, it couldn’t protect itself in the form it was in either. That was why she was sent to the one most able to protect her. She was sent to Sineya’s daughter. That one would protect the Key, her sister, to the end of the world if she had to. This is where you come in, Castiel. I’ve chosen you as the Key’s next protector.”
Shock jerked through Castiel. Him? He was to protect the Key? A task which even Michael had failed?
God continued on, “Sineya’s daughter, her chosen, is needed for the coming fight. Lucifer’s return is on the horizon and this Chosen
is needed for training. She will lead the fight when it comes. This leaves the Key without a protector and she needs
a protector. If the demons should get her, Lucifer would be free much too soon. Plans need time to come to fruition and dissension in the ranks needs to be quelled. I’m sorry to say that you are also needed elsewhere. You are the only one I can trust with this task or I would not ask it of you,” God said sadly.
Castiel pulled himself upright. He would accept his mission with pride and he would do his tasks well.
“Not only must you protect the Key but you must protect her on the front lines of the coming war. I charge you with the protection of the Key and the Winchester brothers --the vessels of Michael and Lucifer. They must not say ‘Yes’
at any cost but that of the Key’s wellbeing. The Key must always come first. If there should come a time that you have a chance to find the dissenters within the ranks, I charge you to do everything in your power to find them. I ask a lot of you Castiel but I would not ask if I didn’t think you could do it.”
With that the Garden faded from around Castiel and he was back in the spot he had just left. The first thing he noticed was that Michael wasn’t there giving tasks anymore. There was no one around but a feel of the world around him let him know not much ‘time’ had passed. The others were likely to believe he had had other things to do and gone elsewhere. That was good. There was no need to blow his cover so early after being given such a momentous task.
Castiel settled in to think, knowledge that hadn’t been there before bubbling to the front. He now knew when he would be needed to start his task of protecting the Key. The feelings that accompanied thoughts for the Key were new. A gift from his Father who thought emotion towards his charge would make him better able to protect her. Emotions were new however and he wasn’t sure of how to control them. If they could even be controlled. The only good thing was that the emotions seemed relegated to the Key. They tainted none of his other thoughts.
He also knew that the time would come when he would need a vessel. His Father had given him a list of possibilities but the timetable had been moved forward. Permission was needed before he could inhabit a vessel and those on his Father’s list might not be ready.
That was how he had gotten here, feeling guilty for not telling the Key everything. She was special to his Father, much like Lucifer had been at one time, Castiel was sure. Why else would the Key’s human form be named Dawn?
Still, he had given her enough so that she could protect herself until he could remove her. Castiel had taken his Father’s suggestion and had left a part of himself behind. It would cradle the child’s soul, make her better able to deal with the oncoming dark. He had felt the changes taking place even as he pulled away from her. By the time he met her again the Key, Dawn, would be ready.
Now, he just had to hope Jimmy was ready because he needed to get started on convincing the Winchesters immediately.END
The Key was named Dawn. Lucifer was God's Morning Star. Morning … Dawn, anyone getting this?