Disclaimer: Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon and Cruel Intentions belongs to 20th Centuary Fox. Unfortunately, I don't own them. If I did, then I'd have more then two dollars and a few pennies in my wallet.
Author's Note: This story I had originally started years ago and then I stopped. I came across it again and decided to do a rewrite and start it again. The beginning are a series of letters from Buffy to Sebastian but that will change soon enough. For the purpose of the story Buffy's name is Elizabeth (Buffy) Kathryn Summers. Oh, and Sebastian never died. He was just in the hospital for a while. I hope you all like it. PLEASE REVIEW! And enjoy :)
CHAPTER 1: The Beginning
I'm adjusting to California and Aunt Joyce is being wonderful about everything. I've even taken to calling her mom. It makes it easier than to actually explain the real situation to people. I've even had my last name changed to be the same as Aunt Joyce and Uncle Hank's. It's just so much easier this way. Besides, Aunt Joyce was always more of a mother to me than Mom ever was. All she ever seemed to be was my birth mother and someone to show me off to all her friends whenever they came to visit. She's always been a royal bitch. I honestly don't know what your father sees in her aside from her money.
It was always "Kathryn can do this", "Look at what Kathryn can do", Kathryn, Kathryn, Kathryn. I've always hated that name! Kathryn is the name of a perfect little goody two shoes and you know I'm far from that. I may have been a bitch in the past but I was never a fucking wimp. But when I reached High School she refused anyone from calling me Buffy anymore. She said it was too childish. Hmph! Says the only one who treated me like nothing more than a prized trophy. That's the only time she ever talked to me and we both know it.
I can't believe how glad I'm not to be in that environment anymore. I really wasn't liking what I was becoming but I didn't know what else to do. No, change that. I don't like who I had become. I guess I should thank your girlfriend for that but don't you ever tell anyone I said that or your ass will be mine, brother or not. I'll deny it if ever asked and you know I will. Besides, then I'd have to tell everyone about Mr. Floppy Ears. No one thinks anything about a girl with a stuffed animal. But a guy who still has one? Well, that's another story. You know I love you and right now I really miss having someone to banter with. All the popular girls at the school out here are complete idiots. There's no one I can actually talk to around here and Aunt Joyce and Uncle Hank are always fighting.
I just can't help but wonder when everything started going downhill. When everything changed. Whenever I start to pinpoint a certain event I always remember something else. I guess we'll never really know when everything changed. But I'm starting to be thankful that it did even if it sucks being out here. If it didn't change then I wouldn't finally be finding a place where I think I may belong. Besides, Los Angeles seems like a normal place to live and I've already made a lot of friends at Hermery. I just wish you were here with me.
Okay, remember when I said that Los Angeles seemed like a normal place to live? What the fuck was I thinking! You can definitely forget the last part of that letter I sent. The strangest thing just happened to me and I am scared out of my mind and that's not something I take lightly.
I was waiting outside of the gym for my boyfriend Tyler to come out when this old guy named Merrick approached me and said something about my destiny and that he's my watcher, whatever the hell that is. I told him I didn't have one and then he started saying some stuff about vampires and the forces of darkness. I thought he was crazy. But then he took me to a cemetery later that night and it turns out either he wasn't lying or I've gone completely crazy. There in the cemetery was this guy who attacked us and his face was all messed up. His eyes were even glowing a weird color and he growled at me! When I staked him in the heart with a wooden stake he turned to dust. Just like that. At first I tried to explain it away as a trick of light but that wasn't working and neither was the screaming.
When I came home I was so scared and Aunt Joyce seemed to know something was wrong. Uncle Hank just thought I was sneaking out with a guy getting into more trouble like before. He even searched my room for drugs. After the rehab I had to go through I'm not doing that shit again. Rehab was absolute hell. I was so scared that I told them what happened and I'm pretty sure they think I'm crazy now too or something.
I don't know what to do, Seb. I'm so damn scared. I'll write more later. With the way Uncle Hank is monitoring the phone I don't think it's safe to call any time soon. He really thinks I'm on drugs again.
They locked me up. I finally convinced the doctors that I wasn't "sick" anymore and they let me go home. They actually had me believing we were going to spend some time together as a "family" but instead the took me to the institution. That bastard...
I don't want to go back to that place, Seb. Please don't let them take me again. I'll do anything.
Merrick's dead. Lothos, the big wig vampire that I told you about, killed him right in front of me. I wanted to go to him but Pike took me away as fast as his motorcycle could go. Which saved my life in the end. I wasn't prepared to face Lothos yet. If I had faced him then then I probably would be dead, too. But I killed him in the end. If that counts for anything. Either way Merrick is still dead and it's all my fault. If only I had trained harder and been faster Merrick would still be alive.
Lothos attacked our school dance last week when it all happened. All of his minion vampires were there attacking students left and right. Pike helped me in the fight. I was able to stop them, but at a cost. I had to burn down the gym in order to do it. I got expelled, too. The fire marshal didn't really buy the story of there being mice that were smoking and once everyone was safe they all seemed to forget about fighting for their lives. I wish I could forget that easily.
Mom and Uncle Hank divorced. It's final. Mom and I are moving to some small town called Sunnydale. It sounds peaceful. Maybe I'll actually get some rest for a change and throw this destiny crap out the window.
Remember when I said I wasn't right about LA being a nice place to live? Well, Sunnydale's worse. Much worse. It's atop a thing called La Boca del Inferno. Apparently it means the Mouth of Hell. Pleasant, huh?
And I can't escape my destiny either. There was another watcher waiting for me at the school when I got there. His name is Giles. But he doesn't seem as uptight and anal as Merrick was about destiny and duty. He's just really stuffy about it. It must be a British thing. But then again that's probably just the British version of anal and uptight. I'll let you know when I find out.
I met two new friends. They're not in the popular crowd, which is a major change for me. But a good change. I think.
Their names are Willow and Xander. Willow is so innocent, sweet, and extremely smart. Xander is the goofiest person I've ever met. I never would have given them the time of day before. But the best part? They both know about the slayerness and they still want to be my friends. Their loyalty is unconditional and I've never had that before. I didn't know that type of friendship existed. Except for you that is. And I don't want anything to ever ruin that. I never want them to have to find out about the person I used to be. It would crush them.
Congratulations with Annette. I know Annette and I never got on well or at all, but since she makes you happy I guess that's all that matters. Also, don't tell her I ever said that. You know I'll deny it if asked. Mr. Floppy Ears, that's all I have to say.
I want pictures and lots of them when you get married. I know you two want a long engagement but the wedding will have to come sooner or later. And when it does I want pictures. I wish I could be there in person on the day, but we both know that isn't possible. One, because of why I left and two, because of the Hellmouth. Even if they ever would accept me we both know I can't leave the Hellmouth without a Slayer.
But onto other news, just promise you won't kill me first... 'Cause I kind of already have that covered. Remember the Master I told you about a while ago? Well, there was this prophecy that said that he'd kill me and he did. But don't worry. I'm not a vampire or anything. Xander and Angel found me and Xander did CPR. He saved me. Then I went to the high school, kicked some master vampire butt, and killed him.
Now that it's over I can't stop thinking about when he killed me. I can't stop thinking about my life. I guess dieing will do that to a person. I just wish I had never become the Slayer. Then none of this would have ever happened. But then I would still be that stuck up cold-hearted bitch and probably high. That didn't work out well either. It's sad, I think maybe being the Slayer is the better deal of the two. At least this way when I die young it will be because I've actually done something worthy rather than on O.D.
PS- I am going to Hank's for the summer if you need to contact me. As much as I don't like that man I just really can't be in Sunnydale right now. It's too much.
So much has happened since I wrote you last. The last thing I told you about was Kendra's appearance. That seems like forever now.
When you get this I also won't be in Sunnydale anymore. I can't tell you where I'm going because I don't even know yet. I guess I'll figure that out when I get there. I just know you're one of the first places Mom will check to look for me so I can't go there.
About two months ago Angel lost his soul. I don't want to go into details about it right now, it hurts too much. When he lost his soul he became Angelus again and started killing everyone. Drusilla killed Kendra, broke Xander's arm, and put Willow in a coma. I don't know if she's going to wake up. But if she does, I won't be here for it.
Angelus killed Jenny and tortured Giles. Angelus was planning to suck humanity into Hell so I had to stop it and him. I went to the mansion and was about to kill him when something happened. His soul was returned and he was Angel again. He didn't remember anything that happened. But it was too late. The portal was already opening and I had to kill him. So I told him I loved him and then I ran him through with my sword.
To top it all off, Mom now knows I'm a slayer and she believes me. But after she found out she told me that if I left the house then I was never to return. I had no choice. I had to leave or the world would end. Oh, and did I tell you I got expelled? Again? Seems the Slayer gig isn't the better of the two after all.
What with Angel dead and the police wanting me because they think I killed Kendra, I have no reason to stay. I've already packed a bag and left a note for Mom so she won't think I'm dead or something. I'll let you know where I am when I get there. But only if you promise not to tell Mom.
And don't worry about me. I can take care of myself. You should know that by now. I don't need you protecting me for the rest of my life. Besides, you're already too late.