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Summary: "I can't do this without you, Dean." "I wish like hell you didn't have to..." Dean's deal is coming due, who will protect Sam in his stead? The third Winchester brother of course. Xander meet your new family.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Xander-Centered > Theme: Real FamilyLightningSkiesFR18310,4673319,43125 Oct 0927 Nov 10No

Wish You Were Here

Wish for a Winchester


Spoilers: Post-series Buffy, Supernatural through S3
Warnings: Nothing much worse than you’d see in the original series, each chapter will have individual warnings
Pairings: Dean/Multiple Waitresses and Bartenders, Sam/Jess, Xander/?
Disclaimer: Kripke and Joss have the best toys, I just like to borrow them to play with every once in a while.

*Canon Dialogue*

=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= Chapter 1 – Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd) =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
"How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears. Wish you were here."

*How could you make that deal, Dean?* There had been an uncomfortable silence between the Winchester brothers for the last hundred miles or so. Neither had even bothered pretending that they weren’t upset and thinking deep thoughts. They were sitting side by side in the Impala the same way they had for the last two years, but where Sam used to be able to feel the distance created by his time at Stanford shrinking; now it felt as if there were an impenetrable wall between them.

He’d been quiet and hadn’t asked, hadn’t pushed- hoping that Dean would respect him enough to explain. They’d been tip-toeing around IT for too damn long. He knew that Dean didn’t want to talk about IT- the big IT that was the basis of most of their fights lately. IT- The Deal. The fact that Dean sold himself to bring Sam back from the dead. They needed to talk about the fact that Dean had damned himself. Deliberately.

Dean’s lips tightened stubbornly and his hands throttled the steering wheel as he replied with his usual flippancy. *Because I couldn’t live with you dead. Couldn’t do it.* He wouldn’t even turn to look Sam in the eyes.

Sam turned to stare at him, incredulous and hurt, *What, so now, I live and you die?* In what world was that a fair trade. He couldn’t believe how little Dean valued himself.

Dean grit his teeth, *That’s the general idea, yeah.*

Sam was trying to be understanding here, but Dean wasn’t making it easy. Getting pissed at his brother would only make him feel guiltier later when… No. Dean wasn’t going to die, so getting angry was fine. *Yeah, well, you’re a hypocrite, Dean. How did you feel when Dad sold his soul for you? ‘Cause I was there. I remember. You were twisted and broken. And now, you go and do the same thing to me. What you did was selfish.*

Dean still wasn’t looking at him. *Yeah. You’re right. It was selfish. But I’m okay with that.*

*I’m not.* How could he be. It was like he’d pulled the trigger on his brother himself.

*Tough. After everything I’ve done for this family, I think I’m entitled. Truth is, I’m tired, Sam. And I don’t know, it’s like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.*

What light? Dean couldn’t possibly really think Sam was going to buy the idea that going to hell was going to be a soothing balm for the weary soul. *That’s hellfire, Dean.*

*Yeah, whatever. You’re alive.*

Dean was obviously missing the point. He was going to burn, for the rest of eternity and he didn’t seem to care. “And you’re DYING, Dean. In a year- less than a year now, you’ll be gone. Then what? What am I supposed to do without you? You don’t think I’m tired? You always make such a big deal about protecting me- and you’re leaving me to deal with a world infested with an army of demons- most of who want me dead. ALONE.”


Sam didn’t want to hear it and just cut him off, “No, Dean. You don’t get to pretend that this is a good thing. When Jess died and I threw myself into the hunt, the fact that you were watching my back was the only thing that kept me alive. I won’t last a week without you, and I’ve got to say, I really don’t want to. I can’t do this without you, Dean. I won’t.”

Finally, Dean turned to look at him, with eyes full of sympathy, but not a trace of remorse or regret. His voice was much softer than Sam had heard it in years. It was the voice that had soothed him back to sleep after nightmares when he was a kid, left behind in one hotel room or another. “Yeah, you will. You are going to stop trying to fix the deal, you are going to let me die and you are going to keep going. Alone. And I wish like hell you didn’t have to but---”

The end of Dean’s sentence wasn’t voiced and would never be heard because with that one little four letter word, the world shifted, lives were altered and the thread of fate twisted. Halfway across the globe, Xander Harris vanished from the heavily warded International Watchers Council’s headquarters without a trace.

Lawrence Kansas
22 Years Ago

Mary pulled the flannel pajama clad form of her oldest son, Dean, up into her arms, “Come on, let’s say goodnight to your brothers, Dean. Then it’s time for bed.”

As she put him down to turn on the light, he pouted up at her. “But Mom. You said I could stay up until Dad got home.”

“That’s because I thought he’d be home hours ago. It’s getting late. If you let me tuck you in now, I’ll send him in to say goodnight when he gets home.”

Dean’s cute little four year old nose crunched up in thought as he considered her offer seriously. “Kay, I guess that’s alright. You promise to tell him? Make sure he wakes me up this time, he didn’t last time.”

Mary laughed at the indignance on his face. It looked like John was going to be in big trouble if he didn’t check in tonight. “I promise, now say goodnight to your brothers.”

He scrambled to hop up on the side of the twin’s crib, leaning over to kiss each of his younger brothers on the forehead. “Goodnight, Sam. Night, Alex.”

Mary tickled Sam lightly as he cooed up at her, before giving him a kiss. *Goodnight, love.* She gently made sure both boys were tucked in and kissed Alex. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

*Hey, Dean.* Both mother and son turned around at the sound of the familiar male voice behind them.

*Daddy!* Dean’s face lit up with a huge smile as he ran up to his father and was swept up off the floor into a big hug.

“Hey buddy! What do ya think? You think the boys are ready to play us in some two-on-two football yet?”

Dean laughed, “No, daddy. They’re too little.”

John pretended to think about that, “You really think so?”

*You got him?* Mary kissed John on the cheek as she headed past him to bed.

*I got him.* John smiled at her as he hugged Dean, who hung tiredly over his shoulder. “Sweet dreams, boys.”

Mere seconds after he turned out the lights the mobile hanging over the youngest Winchesters’ shared crib began to spin, slowly at first, but quickly gaining speed and momentum. The novelty clock on the wall that chimed the hours in various car noises, ticked slower and slower before coming to a full stop, pendulum paused mid swing. The moon shaped nightlight mounted on the wall began to pulse and flicker erratically.

Mary woke to the sound of feedback static coming over the baby monitor. She groped blindly over her bedside table until her hand came in contact with the damn thing. Fiddling with the knobs on the top she eventually cleared the electronic noises enough to hear the faint whimpers and cries coming from her boys.

With a sigh, Mary turned on the bedside light, simultaneously groping behind her for her husbands form. *John?* When her hand only encountered air, she looked over to see that he wasn’t in bed with her. Yawning, she walked across the hall to the twin’s room, blearily noticing the male figure standing between their cribs. *John, are they hungry?*

He didn’t even turn around, shushing her quietly. *Shh.*

He was obviously taking care of the boys, *Okay.* She turned to head back to bed, only to be distracted by the flickering of the light at the end of the hall. John was the mechanic and electrician in the family, so her expert attempt to fix it consisted of tapping the glass covering until the flickering stopped. *Hmm.* She’d have to get John to check the bulb in the morning. Hearing what sounded like a faint explosion downstairs she followed the noise to the living room, where her husband could be seen in the flickering light of an old war movie sleeping peacefully in his recliner. She gasped in horror, if he was down here, who had she just left with her sons? She hurried back up the stairs, calling for her boys. “Sammy! Lex!”

John was woken abruptly when a scream echoed through the house. *Mary!?* He ran up the stairs to the twin’s room, throwing open the door, *Mary! Mary?* He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, aside from the boys’ agitated flailing and crying. He’d obviously disturbed them with his aburpt entrance. “Hey, Lex, Sammy. It’s okay.”

As he gazed down on his sons, a dark fluid dripped onto the teddy bear patterned sheets. Curious, he dipped a finger in it, hoping to identify it, but before he could get a closer look, more of the substance dripped onto the back of his hand. Following the path of the liquid he looked up to see his wife somehow pinned flat to the ceiling, a look of pained terror permanently etched across her face and a bloody gash carved into her stomach. He fell back in horror, *No! Mary!*

Flames seemed to leak out from behind her still form, reaching down in a rush to grab at him. The babies started bawling in fear, their cries shaking John out of his shock. He grabbed them quickly and fled into the hall, dodged the grasping flames.

Dean had heard the commotion and had left his room to investigate, when he was almost run over by his father in the hall. Over John’s shoulder he could see a flickering red light coming out of the nursery and felt a terrible heat beating on his face, *Daddy?!*

John thrust his precious bundles into Dean’s arms, *Take your brothers outside as fast as you can! Don’t look back! Now Dean, go!* Even as Dean ran, he turned back to the twin’s room, but wasn’t even able to make it through the doorway as the whole room was engulfed in flames. He held his arms in front of his face to try and block the heat and smoke. *Mary!*

He was helpless to do anything but watch as she was totally engulfed in flames and disappeared from view. *No!*

Dean ran mindlessly down the stairs and out the front door, stopping only when he realized that it was cool grass under his feet instead of carpet and a night breeze blowing in his face, instead of a fiery one. He looked back up at the twin’s window, watching the flames pulsing and writhing behind the glass and hearing the crackling, “It’s okay, Sammy, Lex.”

John swept all three of them up as he ran by, carrying them out of range of the explosion that ripped outwards through the windows, seeming to chase them. *I gotcha.*

Newspapers the next day sported headlines about a horrible accidental fire that killed a local woman, but John Winchester knew better. Something had killed his wife, something supernatural and he was going to chase that bastard down if it was the last thing he did. The hunt was on.

=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= TBC =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=

I don’t usually do teaser chapters, but this seemed appropriate. In my mind it’s like the bit of the episode before the opening credits.

This is a Xander as a Winchester fic. I don’t consider it AU because canon is going to bite them in the ass sooner or later. As for the Alex/Xander thing, Willow was the one who named him Xander. Dean/Sam/John/Mary, hell even Bobby, Ellen and Jo are all really classic names and I really can’t imagine anyone born in Kansas calling themselves Xander, so Alex it is.

I put this in the Real Family category, does magically created family count?

Alex is going to be slightly different than Xander (being raised to hunt by an ex-marine will do that to you), but he’s the same person at heart and you will see the Xan-man you know and love later.

I know I kept a ton of the original dialogue here, but that opening scene in Lawrence is kinda iconic to the whole series, I love it and didn’t want to alter it too much. I know I'll end up using other recognizable lines that either I really loved or in my mind are Supernatural gospel (“…saving people, hunting things- the family business.”)

The title has a dual meaning, both that the wish was granted for a Winchester (Dean) and that the wish created another Winchester (Alex)

Distribution: FFN (Lightning_Skies), Twisting the Hellmouth (LightningSkies)
Author has given no other permissions. Message if you want it.
1,896 Words - 5 Pages - 10/25/09
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