Anita Blake and Her Magical… *Ahem*
Once again, many thanks to Greywizard for beta-ing!
A sincere thank you to Persefone and SpinelessPunster for recommending this story~ That is quite the compliment, thank you :D
Also, I really cannot believe how many people have reviewed and complimented this story. I’m very appreciative of you all. I NEVER expected to have so many people read this. Thank you to the following people for reviewing:
Aeryn • Alexis • amie • anouk • AzrielSunHawk • bastur • batzulger • beq • blueyez • CarmenLindsay • Carojen • cathain • celticjenn • CousinMary • deathsjennesa • dharkcharlotte • Discord • Dragonwolftiger • ferball • FireWolfe • GarnetAvi • GothTroubleMaker • Greywizard • immortalsilence • JasonBarnett • Kaleidofox • Killiara • KWJordan • KyrissDraconis • KzintiKiller • lmarie • londeaux • MarbleGlove • mmooch • murr • mytryk • namegoeshere • Neqs • Neverwillmini • Persefone • POTENTIALlyAwesome • puckish • punzl • RoseGoddess • Ryn • SassyFrass • saturnssailor • Serenity • shadowslayers • skynetgol • SlayerandWereLeopard • slmncpm • slytherinwithwings • SpinelessPunster • spk • superbrutal • Tempi • Valkyrie • vedranempress • Vilkath • VivianCaidin • war • whogives • Wingwyrm • wizathogwarts • Wormbait • Xeelia
LAST BUT NOT LEAST… I dedicate this chapter to Laurell K. Hamilton and her latest Anita novel (‘Flirt’) that debuted today… Where she picks up even more damn freaking men (Like for F$%#ing real????)… Luckily, one of our Scoobies will address that *whew* Trust me, this book has increased my dedication to razing St. Louis to the ground. And then salting it. And having Paris Hilton do a off-key concert there.
….And now… What you‘ve all been waiting for… The true fun begins!
His piercing blue eyes scanned the prisoner cell in a cool and collected manner. The cell that the witch and her Watcher friend escaped from was empty except for the flattened smear of a rat corpse with a detached head, and a pool of dried blood. “Asher,” he called in a voice deadened with rage. “Where is Valentina? I am most curious to discover how she allowed two mortals to escape her deadly arms.”
Like lightning, Asher was suddenly beside him. “She has not been seen, Jean-Claude. Can you not feel her?”
Jean-Claude stilled and closed his eyes; even though he suspected the answer lay before him. His mind traveled metaphysically down the links to all members of his Kiss but he could not feel her presence. Deftly he knelt down and sniffed the rat while Asher gave him a quizzical look. He jumped back in clear disgust, a sneer evident on his face.
Asher gripped his bicep. “Jean-Claude?” his voice begged for an answer.
“That *witch*,” he spat out, “ and her friends will pay. Valentina may have been horrid at times but she was under *my* authority and protection,” he growled.
Asher eyed the rat again and comprehension dawned in his eyes. His lips curled into a grimace and he rubbed his lover’s back reassuringly. “What do you wish to do?”
He was answered only by a low, ominous chuckle.
Jean-Claude found Anita sitting in his bedroom and he admired her for a moment. So lost was she in thought that she jumped slightly when he said, “Ma Petite?”
“Jean-Claude! Don’t sneak up on me like that. And stop calling me Ma Petite.”
He gave her a hurt look. “It has been a long time since you asked me not to call you that. Is all well, Ma Petite?” Sitting beside her on the bed, he grasped her hand gently.
Eyes evading his own, she turned slightly to focus on a Renaissance painting hung on the wall. She broke the silence after a moment.
“Do you know that at one time I wished I was a Slayer? Back when Manny told me that they really existed, contrary to what my Preternatural Studies professors said.”
He sighed silently. Jean-Claude had a feeling that Anita was going to be difficult tonight, and he needed her focused on following his direction.
“Non, Ma Petite. I did not.”
“You know, I used to live for killing your kind. I had wished that I had been empowered like the slayers; it would have made hunting vampires so much easier. When their numbers multiplied and the news reported on their activities, I always cheered them on. I would think to myself, ‘Way to go, girls!’.” She turned her dark brown eyes on him.
“And then I met you.”
A smile slid its way upwards on his face. “And then you met me.”
Anita smirked. “And I still wanted to kill you and every other vampire.”
“You wound me, Ma Petite,” he said dryly.
Soft laughter slid from her lips. “Well, I only wanted to kill you until I fell in love with you. But that changed everything.”
Jean-Claude stilled. “Do you have regrets?”
She seemed to mull that over. “Yes and no.”
Jean-Claude winced; that ‘no’ penetrated his heart.
Anita took notice and gave him a soft kiss. “I love you. But sometimes, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve made some mistakes. I went from killing the monsters to sleeping with them.” She paused. “And maybe I’ve become one along the way.”
Jean-Claude hushed her and pulled her into a tight embrace. “Never say that, Ma Petite. You are perfect and embody everything I love about this world. “
With her face pressed against his chest, she could only reply with a muffled, “Thank you.”
They took comfort in each other’s arms for some time. Finally, Anita pulled away and gazed in Jean-Claude’s blue eyes. “Is everything prepared for the arrival of the slayers?”
Giving her a confident smile, he replied, “Yes. They should be here soon. Are you comfortable with our plans?”
Anita squared her shoulders and gave him a steady stare.
“I’ve been thinking about what that witch said earlier and what you told me," she said. "But it comes down to the fact that I’m not giving Spike up, not with his powers and especially not now with our new triumvirate. Not to mention, Damian is due his revenge on those bitches. If the Slayers think they can waltz in here and kill any of my people, they thought wrong. After tonight, we will never have to worry about them invading our territory ever again.”
“Well said, Ma Petite.” Jean-Claude smiled widely.
Perhaps tonight would go exactly as he planned, after all.
The doors to the Circus of the Damned opened just as the Scoobies approached them.
Facing them were Wicked and Truth, who smiled broadly at their presence.
“Welcome, Slayers,” said Truth.
“If you could make your way this way, please,” Wicked added with a gesture into the building.
“Yo, B,” whispered Faith.
“Huh?” asked Buffy, whose focus was more on every detail of the building than the words of her friend.
“After seeing these two, I’m *starting* to understand your fascination with the naked male undead body,” she said with a flirtatious smile and a raise of her eyebrow.
Buffy chuckled, and then she grimaced. “Hey! It's been a long time since I’ve been with a vampire,” she grumbled. “Jeez.”
The upstairs of the building was empty, but Buffy could head faint noises coming from somewhere. She eyed the vampire brothers suspiciously, because she thought it was odd they would lead the way with their backs to her. They must be very trusting -- or extremely confident. From what Giles had explained earlier, she assumed the latter. The Wicked Truth began descending down a flight of stairs and Buffy followed with Faith bringing up the rear.
As they reached the landing, Buffy took in the large room illuminated with soft lighting. She wasn’t surprised to see so many vampires, but she was certainly surprised to see so many humans. Sniffing, she knew that they were weres based on their scent and auras, but she was surprised on the different kinds. Reaching out with her metaphysical senses, she knew there were wolves, leopards, hyenas, rats, lions and even a couple tigers present.
The Wicked Truth went to stand in the middle of the room with several other vampires. Thanks to Andrew’s file photos, she recognized the others as Asher, Requiem, Byron, and London. To their right stood Richard with half a dozen wolves, including Jean-Claude’s Pomme de Sang, Jason. To the left of the vampires were members of the wereleopard pard, including their Nimir-Raj, Micah, a hard-faced Caleb, and a feminine-looking man who resembled the Nathaniel from her photos except his hair was cut above his shoulders.
Wererats were placed strategically around the room, and she recalled that Andrew had said they were the paid thugs of the city. All of them were men except an Amazonian woman with blond hair. One of them, who stood next to Richard, she recognized as the Rat King Rafael. Slightly behind the vampires were several werelions, including one with bright blue hair; she thought she remembered his name was Haven. Finally, to the left of the leopards were half a dozen werehyenas. Buffy grimaced at the sight of the S&amp;M dressing men; she had heard a lot about their leader Narcissus and none of it was positive. Currently the hyena leader was focusing his interest on Xander-- Buffy heard the kinky bastard had a thing for deformed men and she bet Narcissus liked the eye patch quite a bit.
Raising a brow, she commented lightly, “Sorry, must have mixed up the address. We were planning on a little vampire get-together, not visiting a zoo.” Faith snorted and several of the attendants didn’t bother to hide their amusement.
Richard approached them and his voice resonated with power as he gave her a hard look. “Per the previously agreed upon stipulations, you must discard all your weapons.”
Giving him an innocent smile, she asked with raised hands, “Who, us? Come on now, do we really look like the type of people who would bring weapons even though you asked us so nicely not to?”
Richard grunted and gestured towards his wolves. “Sylvie, Shang-Da, Jamil, search them.” A petite woman with short, dark hair, a very tall Asian man wearing a suit, and a black man with cornrows approached them.
Buffy was pushed roughly against the wall by Shang-Da who ran his hands over her body. His search resulted in her boot knife, and two stakes. Jamil’s examination of Faith included a dagger as long as her forearm and another stake. Likewise, Giles lost several weapons of his own. No one was pleased to get their body searches.
Except perhaps Willow.
Willow appraised the approaching Sylvie and admired her lithe movements.
“Turn around,” demanded the werewolf.
Smiling slyly she asked, “If I don’t, do you plan on forcing me?”
Sylvie’s mouth opened in surprise and then she grinned as she grabbed Willow’s waist, turned her around, and pressed her against the wall. Her hands lingered here and there during the search, but she stayed away from more promiscuous territory.
Willow caught her eye and winked. “I think you missed a few places.”
Sylvie bit her lip to hide a smile and gladly obeyed. After all, why not mix business with pleasure?
After Faith, Jamil moved on to search Xander. As his hands performed the search, he sniffed. There was something *powerful* about this man. His inner wolf told him to get away from the man -- not to draw his displeasure -- but he followed Richard’s orders, anyway. When Jamil touched his backside, though, Xander jerked and shouted, “Hey! Stop that!”
Without a thought, Jamil instantly leaped backwards and cowered. He could feel the eyes of the others on him, sneering at his display of weakness, but he didn’t care. The blast of power that seemed to crackle off the one-eyed man scared his inner wolf.
Footsteps sounded on the stone floor as Jean-Claude and Anita walked in. “Is the search complete?” rang out Jean-Claude’s melodious voice.
“Jamil?” questioned Richard.
“Yes,” he said, both his voice and his manner somewhat shaky as he went back to his Ulfric.
“Excellent,” Jean-Claude said with a smile. “Welcome, Slayers. I am Jean-Claude, the Master of the City. This is my Human Servant, Anita Blake.” Anita’s smile was chilly at best.
“Yeah, you and thirty of your closest friends,” Buffy commented coldly.
With a graceful shrug, Jean-Claude just smiled. “What can I say? I am a very popular fellow and have many friends.”
“So do I, and you have two of them. Where are Andrew and Spike?” Buffy crossed her arms and glared at the vampire.
Jean-Claude smiled wickedly and looked pointedly towards Anita. “Spike!” called Anita. “Bring out our guest.”
Spike carried Andrew over his shoulder. Andrew, whose hands were tied together, waved at his friends. “Hey guys! How ya doing?” He winced as Spike dropped him roughly into a chair.
Buffy’s voice caught in her throat.
Somehow after all this time, Spike was standing in front of her, as solid as herself. Impulsively, she suddenly wanted to touch him; a part of her still could not believe he was here. She drank in his appearance with her eyes. So much of him looked the same -- platinum hair, black leather duster, jeans, and boots.
With a frown, she noticed something was wrong. Instead of his carefree smile or signature smirk, his features were blank.
She took a step forward. “Spike?” she called out tentatively. Looking up, he gave her pleading eyes but his features turned grim. Her temper spiked and she walked up to him, relieved that none of Jean-Claude’s crew tried to stop her. Once she was within arm’s length, she forced herself to speak calmly.
“So you’ve been back for a couple months?”
He closed his eyes and sighed dejectedly. “Yes.”
She caught his eyes and let him see the pain and anger that hid in her eyes. “And you never even *thought* to call and mention, ‘Hey Buffy! Guess what, I’m alive, after all!’”
Holding his hands up defensively, he gave her a plaintive look. “Buffy, I-”
His words were cut off by a swift punch to his cheek.
Stumbling backward, he gave her a painful look. “What was I supposed to do? I died to save the world, the *world*, Buffy! I saw the look in your eyes before you went, I know what you felt because of my sacrifice. If I told you I was back, that feeling would be cheapened.“ He paused and his voice lowered. “And I wasn’t ready to deal with that.”
Buffy was shaking with the adrenaline brought on by betrayal. A part of her accepted his excuse and the other part didn’t give a damn. All the feelings she had been repressing were brought to the forefront of her mind at seeing him. She still didn’t know if she loved him or if she didn’t. But he had been a big part of her life and, at one time, he was the only one of her friends to believe in her. The embers of her anger inflamed at seeing the smirking Anita Blake standing nearby.
“You weren’t ready to deal with me, or is it that you were too busy shacking up with this fang-banger?”
Anita’s hand flashed to grab her gun. “Shut your mouth,” she growled.
“Buffy, it was the ardeur- I had no choice!” he cried out in an exasperated tone.
Buffy bit her lip at Spike’s words. That seemed to match up with her vision and what Andrew had informed them on the rumors of Anita’s ardeur. But still… She didn’t like it. She backed up to her friends; she did not trust all these bad guys to be close to her.
“If you please,” asked a genial Jean-Claude. “Perhaps we may end this bickering and focus on what matters. That *you*,” his tone hardened, “entered my territory without permission and killed a highly-valued member of my Kiss.”
“Whoa, let’s hold up here for a second,” Faith said with a raise of her hands. “That damn dirty Ginger was illegally snacking on an unsuspecting girl. That’s an automatic execution, anyways.”
“That’s what you say.” Anita’s words swept through the room like an arctic wind. “All we have is your side of the story. Regardless, you are unauthorized to perform any executions, that is reserved only for licensed executioners, like me. Further, as a Federal Marshall, I should be bringing all of your terrorist declared asses in to justice.
Faith shook her head with a light laugh. Nothing made her angrier than thinking about how the Vampire Council had framed the Slayers.
“Oh *no*, you didn’t,” she said with a shake of her head. “Girlfriend, you did *not* just say I am unauthorized to perform any executions. Hunting vampires is what the Powers That Be gifted me with and they are a much higher authority than the United States government.”
“What? You think you’re above the law?” Anita sneered.
“No. Do you?” Buffy threw at her in sharp tone.
“You have no idea who I am! Don’t you even dare to talk to me that way,” Anita took a threatening step in their direction.
Buffy gave her a superior smile. “From what I hear you’re not very law-abiding for being a Federal Marshall; you’re more of a killer than an officer of the law.”
Anita raised her Browning Hi-Power in Buffy’s direction. “You think I’m a killer? Maybe I should start living up to that more.”
“Anita,” Jean-Claude warned. He only called her by her first name when he was angry. “Do not make any rash decisions.” Anita grimaced and reholstered the gun.
Buffy scoffed. She had no respect for someone who needed a gun to kill. It was a tool for the weak. Hand-to-hand, a sword, or even a cross-bow -- those required far more skill and physical finesse.
“Now, I’ve been doing some research,” Jean-Claude began smoothly, “and I must say how impressed I am that we have the famed vampire slayers here, as well as the Head of the Watcher Council, your mythical one-eyed servant, and the great witch Willow. Just why exactly did you all decide to grace us mere creatures of the underworld with your presence?”
“We’re here for Spike. We know he’s being held against his will and we are here to claim him. Turn him over, along with Andrew and its all gravy, baby,” stated Buffy blandly.
“Spike cannot leave. He is tied to Ma Petite and Nathaniel, thanks to Faith murdering a member of their previous triumvirate,” Jean-Claude smirked. It always made him pleased to win.
Buffy’s eyes widened in disbelief and she heard Willow groan under her breath. This meant more work for the witch. Her eyes darted to Richard before they settled on Spike. She guessed this had been news to Richard as well; if not then she was really going to be pissed.
“Well, break it,” she said simply. “I’m sure it can be done.”
“It cannot, not without us dying. Besides, Spike’s helped us gain power. We need him here,” Anita stated sternly.
“I don’t give a damn! Obviously, he’s tired of your trampy ass and wants to leave, so let him!” Buffy was really starting to lose her temper. “Spike, do you want to stay here?”
He scoffed. “Hell, no! I’ve been bloody trying to leave but I’m stuck obeying this emasculating bitch!”
“What?” shouted Anita as she turned to Spike. “I am not emasculating! Just because I am a strong, independent woman does not mean I am emasculating.”
Micah stepped forward and grabbed both of her shoulders. “Shh, don’t listen to him. He’s only trying to make you lose focus.”
“Indeed,” soothed Asher. “We love you Anita, do not think about his words.”
“Please,” Spike said scornfully. “You jump and all these poofs ask how high, especially your leopard kitten sissy man. Beats me how you pick up all these men. It's like there should be a musical about it -- Anita Blake and Her Magical Vagina. Actually, it might be fun -- we could dress all your blokes up in tutus and have them do ballet in your bedroom.”
Snickers erupted in the room as Anita’s face reddened.
“You asshole,” she said as she punched him. Spike just smirked, happy with her public humiliation.
“Ya know, this place is kind of a sausage fest,” joked Faith with a wave of her hand. “What’s with all the dudes? It’s like we’re backstage at a Chippendale’s show.”
“You seemed to like male strippers before,” commented Jason with cheeky grin.
Faith blew him a kiss. “Not saying I don’t like it, but you gotta admit, it is kinda weird.”
“Ma Petite does not play nicely with others of her sex,” Jean-Claude said with a loose shrug.
Buffy laughed and Anita stalked over to her. With her face only inches away, she fought the urge to growl at the slayer. Her inner animals were begging to see blood and since they were dominant, they wanted to reclaim their territory. But Anita could also feel Buffy’s aura and she sensed that she made not be the most dominant female in the room. And that scared her inner animals and made her feel a bit wilder.
“Think something is funny?” she asked the slayer.
Buffy fought the urge to punch the black-haired bimbo in front of her. After all, they needed to keep stalling.
“Yeah, I do," she nodded. "I think its pretty hypocritical for a self-claimed strong, independent woman to be so afraid to share her space with other women and so quick to attack other strong women. What are you afraid of, Blake?”
Locking eyes with her, Buffy saw a flash of fear in Blake's eyes. Obviously, she had hit on something -- good.
“I fear nothing,” Anita said in a boastful voice. But all the same, she stepped back to reclaim her position next to Jean-Claude and Richard.
“I grow tired of these insults towards our beloved Anita,” Asher said in what was clearly intended to be a threatening voice. “Perhaps we should end this banter and just kill all of you.”
The rest of the Scoobies managed to keep a serious expression but, of course, Faith had to laugh.
“I’m sorry,” she said in between giggles, “but I just cannot take any of you dudes seriously with that Renaissance hair. Seriously, almost every one of your dudes has long hair. I mean, I’m all about embracing people’s different styles, but I feel like we wandered into a Renaissance Fair.”
“Well, I love long hair,” said Anita defensively as she crossed her arms, making sure to keep one hand near her shoulder holster.
“Yup, Anita definitely likes her girly men,” Spike commented with a cackle. “Helps make her feel like the top dog sleeping with the feminine men.”
This time the Scoobies and several of the weres, the ones not sleeping with Anita (both of them) burst out laughing.
Requiem immediately flew towards Spike and threw him against the back wall. “You will hold your tongue, sir, when you speak of our fair Anita.”
Buffy choked back her laughter at seeing Spike’s flying form smashing against the wall.
“Okay, seriously, what is with this obsession thing? Between what we’ve read about you and what we’ve seen tonight, Anita, you have like a dozen guys you’re sleeping with who are all devoted to you? I mean, no offense or anything -- okay, maybe some offense -- but you ain’t all that. You’re not the dog-faced girl, but you are not nearly cute enough to be hooking up with all these pretty boys.”
“Yeah, majorly weird,” added Faith.
“Fuck you, I do not need you judging me.” Anita’s fingers toyed with her gun; she desperately wished Jean-Claude would just let her kill these bitches. But he had some plan to capture them and hold them for ransom to broker some deals with the Vampire Council.
“Anita is like a desert flower hardened by her surroundings, but beautiful and charming, nonetheless,” an eloquent Requiem sighed.
“We all love her, you are just jealous,” said a defiant Micah as he wrapped an arm around Anita’s waist.
“Thanks, but I got a man. Tall, muscular, black, shaved head, and a huge-”
“Faith!” said an outraged but amused Buffy.
“What?” Faith shrugged as she held her open palms wide apart. “He has a *huge* amount of intelligence. So, yeah, def not Envy Gal over here.”
Buffy looked back at Giles to figure out what to do next. He barely jerked his head to say ‘no’. Looks like more stalling was needed before back up came.
“So,” she began brightly. “Anita. Girlfriend. When did you decide to stop hunting monsters and start working for them? I mean, it *is* kinda weird that a vampire executioner is standing on that side of the line when we’re over here.”
Anita shrugged negligently. “Yeah, at one point I hunted the monsters. But here’s something I learned: humans die, easily. Monsters? Not so much. So let’s hear it for the monsters! At least I don’t have to worry about them dying on me.”
“Actually, after tonight, it looks you do,” said Faith snidely.
“Bitch, you have no idea of the kind of power I possess. I am itching to kill you,” Anita snarled in response. Demurely, Jean-Claude grabbed her wrist. After all, he did not want them to get shot. The Slayers were going to be very valuable, not to mention that the witch may be quite profitable, too.
“Actually, we really kind of do," Buffy contradicted her with a smirk.
"According to our files, you’re the first real necromancer in a thousand years, a member of two triumvirates, Human Servant to the Master of the City, have 2 vampire servants -- well,” Buffy said with a small laugh, “I suppose that’s just one now, you’re the Nimir-Ra of the Leopards, Lupa and Bolverek of the Wolves, Tigers are your animal to call as well as wolves, you’re a succubus who feeds off energy, and then you’ve shown, on occasion, to be able to suck someone’s life energy. Plus, it's claimed that you posses skills with many weapons and you're adept in the martial arts.
"So yeah,” Buffy smiled smugly, “we do actually know what kind of power you posses.”
“Oh,” was all Anita could say. She was surprised at how well these people had done their homework.
“So now,” Buffy continued, “my question is, how the hell did an apparent human like you come to claim all these powers?”
Andrew starting coughing into his first and muttered two words, “Mary Sue!”, before he continued coughing.
All eyes were drawn to him.
“Who the hell is Mary Sue?” asked Anita in an icy tone.
“Oh bloody hell.” Spike started laughing. “it’s a fan fiction term for a female character who’s loved by every man she meets and has amazing abilities.”
“Wow, Spike! You read fan fiction too! That’s so cool,” gushed Andrew.
Spike looked alarmed. “Uh -- I might’ve read a couple Passions stories back in the day -- no need to make a big fuss about it, Geek Boy.”
“What the-” began an annoyed Anita, but Jean-Claude hushed her.
“A woman who is amazing, that is certainly you, my Ma Petite,” he murmured as he kissed her gently on the cheek.
It made Buffy want to vomit.
“Now, let us get down to business,” Jean-Claude said in an authoritative tone. “Dawn is approaching and I’m bored of all this. You came here for Andrew and we are very happy to get rid of him. So, that is settled.
"However, we will be keeping Spike, plus we will get both Slayers and the witch in exchange," he declared. "I will sell you both to the Vampire Council and keep the witch for myself.
"I do not care for the males, so they may leave,” he said dismissively.
“Coulda fooled me,” Xander muttered under his breath. "I think Spike might have been right when he called him a poof."
Buffy shared an incredulous look with Faith.
“Yeah, how ‘bout not?" she answered as she glared at the Master of the City. "That’s the worst damn offer I’ve ever heard in a negotiation.”
Jean-Claude chuckled. “Perhaps you will prefer this one better. You do as I say, or all of my allies will kill you and your friends, here and now.”
“I don’t think so. Your killing days are over, Jean-Claude,” rang out a new voice from the stairway.
*evil cackle* Yay for saying all the things to Anita Blake that she deserves to hear! I don’t know about many of you, but I was tickled pink when I thought of this chapter title :D
Review, Review, Review! Y’all have been so generous with feedback and like a crack addict I just need more!! (Hahahaha) I threw in a LOT of verbal jabs- Please tell me your favorites!
Also- Likey Willow/Sylvie? (btw: Sylvie is not dating that other girl anymore in *my* story)
Next up: The Contact is revealed and lots of bloodiness! Heads will roll (literally, I think)!!! Oh, and no worries about Dawn, in case you were wondering- JC likes his surprises ;)
HOO BOY! Damn, there have been a LOT of people voting- Thanks to everyone who contributed. I’ve closed off voting for now and will post votes *after* the big battle (Votes have heavily influenced people’s fates and I want to have *some* things be a surprise ;) I have to say… The votes did not always go the way I expected… *evil chuckle* The following chapters are gonna be a hella good time!!!!!!!!!!!
---Flirt can be found at: http://www.amazon.com/Flirt-Anita-Blake-Vampire-Hunter/dp/042523567X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1265167413&amp;sr=1-1 . Read the reviews, not the book but the idea is centered on an experience LKH had with her icky looking hubby at a restaurant where a waiter was FLIRTING with them because they are so hot and LKH even has a freaking comic strip in the back of the book outlining this- and that her extreme hotness made the waiter sputter like a buffoon.