Did she ever learn? Beer Bad!
: As usual nothing belongs to me I only borrow them. All rights belong to their respective owners.
Premise: It seems that SG1 and the IWC have intermarried. How did this happen? VEGAS of course. Question is who married who and will they stay married? I would like to add that this is meant to be light hearted fun and not to be taken seriously
Time line, Sg1 - S8. That being said Carter is not interested in the loser cop but neither is she interested in Jack. Buffy set after chosen as I am not to sure how the canon time line fit’s I’ll make Buffy 29 in this.
Chapter : Did she ever learn? Beer Bad!
Buffy’s eyes awoke when the glaring sun, which was shining brightly hit her eyes. She instinctively shut her eyes; two thoughts coming to mind, no wonder vamps hate the sun, and the second thought was one she actually vocalized. “Why don’t I ever learn? Beer bad.”
As she started to truly awaken, she realised that there was more than herself in her bed. She appeared to be lying next to a slightly older gentleman, who, in her opinion, wore his age well. She could see the visible scars and figured that he was either a hunter, or military black ops at a guess. It was at this point, that her mental musings actually caught up with reality, and she realized she was lying - naked in bed - with said stranger. She jumped up, with all the speed and agility that she possessed, and demanded, “Who the hell are you?”
The shout roused the man who became instantly aware, “General Jack O’Neill, You are?”
Buffy wouldn’t have said anything, and probably tried to beat a hasty retreat, except that when he rubbed his face, he was wearing a suspicious object on his finger - a ring. She looked in horror at his hand, “I can’t believe I am about to say this. I don’t suppose you were married before you came to Vegas?”
Jack looked at his own hand, “Oh crap. No.”
Buffy to her credit, gave only a resigned sigh as she picked up what seemed to be the marriage certificate. She said deadpan, “well that makes me Buffy O’Neill.” She had no clue what came over her and even when she was grey and old, she would blame Faith's influence. However, with a tweak of boldness she didn’t know she possessed, she picked up her clothes from the chair, and then, turning back towards her new husband, with a wink, promptly dropped the towel. “I get the shower first honey,” she said.
Jack was sure that his jaw dropped, as his eyes took in her toned naked body. He gave a silent prayer of thanks to the fates. In truth, it was their fault - not that he knew that - at this point. He also made a mental note to have a cold shower.
The fates seeing the potential battles ahead had decided that their warriors needed to be strong. They believed that the best way in which they could achieve this was to introduce them to their soulmates.
Buffy came out of the bathroom, looking like her usual immaculate self, she still had an impish grin, but said, “all yours.”
He quirked his eyebrow, and decided to flirt back, figuring what the hell, they were already married, “if you don’t stop teasing, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
Damn him, she thought, the intense look he was sending her way was turning her insides wobbly. Channelling her inner Faith, she met his smirk with one of her own, “If you don’t cover your chest up, we won’t leave the bed for the day. I don't know about you but I want breakfast, and I think we need to talk before that.”
Jacks mind admittedly jumped to bad places, when he heard her comment. However, just like Buffy had inferred, he wasn’t thinking that this drunken, non-remembered marriage, was such a bad thing. He then proceeded to go into the bathroom, muttering under his breath, “Cold shower, really cold shower.”
Buffy smiled to herself, and realized that she still had it, of course, her common sense was starting to reassert itself, and doubts were starting to crawl in. She knew he was military, and this was probably epically stupid, but once in a while, didn't she deserve to be selfish? Her musings were broken by a brisk knock at the door, she looked through her peep whole to see two secret service agents. Opening the door, she smiled brightly seeing the huge bunch of flowers, which were thrust into her hands and a phone in the other.
Jack noticed that she didn’t seem phased by the Secret Service. She simply shut the door, and dumped the flowers on the bed, whilst lifting the phone to her ear. “Hello Henry. Thank you - Yes I can put you on speaker.”
Her husband was seemingly frozen on the spot, and then blinking upon hearing the president's voice, “Congratulations on your impromptu wedding to the lovely Buffy.”
Jack gave a wry smile, “Thank you Sir. It was just so sudden.”
That caused Buffy to snort, and the president to laugh, “I can’t order you Buffy but Jack won’t be phased by your work. Also Jack, Mrs O’Neill does have the security clearance and I will informally grant permission to her team, but they will need their clearances raised also.”
Buffy frowned, “Why would my team need their clearances raised?”
The president was obviously happy, “You weren’t the only person to have an impromptu wedding; Col Carter has married Xander, Dr Jackson - Faith, and Teal’c has married Willow.”
This made them both jubilantly punch the air, “Oh you’ve made my day Henry. I’m not going to get yelled at now by Giles when I report in. Thank you again for the flowers they were lovely.”
“Your welcome Buffy, and I meant what I said. I think you will be a perfect couple; he hates the NID as much as you do.”
Jack sat down on the edge of the rumpled bed. He figured that they really should start talking; as that conversation had just added another few layers, to the puzzle that was his wife. He took a deep breath before he asked, “Okay. Why do you hate the NID?”
Buffy swallowed down the ingrained hatred she now had for the organization, “I stumbled upon them, and they were messing in things that they didn’t understand ... I took them down.”
He noticed the cold glint in her eyes, it was one he recognised, when he looked in the mirror. He didn’t however expect to ever see that look in the eyes of the gorgeous blonde, he’d awoken next to. However, when he observed her actions a little more closely; he realised that the sharper edge suited her. He was an old, dangerous man, years of black ops had seen to that, but his wife was just as dangerous he noted.
He broached the next topic, silently cursing his Commander-in-Chief, “How do you feel about aliens?”
Several things in her mind fell into place, one his tone - it was how she talked about demons. Secondly, in the previous two weeks, all her dreams had been based on the memories of an Ancient Egyptian slayer. Buffy figured her husband deserved a little heads up before she called down Whistler. She really wanted to talk to the demon, in order to figure out what was going on. She gave him an honest answer, “Simple, if it’s a bad guy - point them out - give me a weapon and let me at them. If they are friendly; I’ll invite them to lunch just as long as I don’t cook,”
Buffy figured that her questions to Whistler would probably be the real test, so she asked she explained, “I am about to yell for tan errant demon messenger to get a few questions answered. Despite my earnest wishes to flatten his ass, don’t shoot him because I’ll take your extraterrestrial threat and raise it to a supernatural threat.”
Jack was curious, it seemed demons were real, maybe. He tried to deny it, but instinctively how could he do so? When his life had been a bad sci-fi script for ten years; it wasn't such a stretch to find out Dracula was real. Standing in the middle of their hotel room, hands on her hips, looking magnificent in her anger; Buffy looked up at the ceiling and shouted, “Whistler get your butt down here, before I make your ribcage my hat and use your skin for a new pair of boots.”
The demon materialized beside her, “Now slayer. Why can’t you be a blissful newlywed?”
Her eyes narrowed and, she all but purred her response, “I would love to be a happy newly wed but I want a heads up.”
The demon looked surprised, “What do you mean?”
Buffy rolled her eyes, “I only play the ditz Whistler. Now I know I had the choice to the marriage, coz the precious powers can’t interfere that much. Plus, no matter how drunk I got; I wouldn’t have married someone else, unless I really wanted to. What I don’t like though is the fact that my husband is in charge of the Chapp’ai that you lot seemed to have been sending me cryptic messages about.”
Jacks head shot round , he started paying very close attention to the conversation.“Now slayer, it’s true that you will be needed for what is come.”
Buffy actually collapsed into Jack, who instinctively wrapped an arm around her waist. She liked the feeling a hell of a lot, she looked up into his eyes, fluttering her lashes just a tad more than necessary “Tell me. Do galactic emergencies happen on Tuesday’s or is just my apocalypses?”
Jack couldn’t help but smile at her, they really did seem to be well matched, “Nope Friday’s for me. Maybe we should just hide on those days.”
Pouting immensely, and with a deep sigh, she shook her head. “Love the idea, but if we did, then the world would end, and that would royally suck.”
Whistler couldn’t help but smile at the small display, it seemed that they were in fact on the road to happiness. Hating to break up the moment, but needing to do his duty, “Slayer I am able to tell you that soon a new evil will encroach this galaxy, and it will need the chosen two to be defeated.”
With that, he left just as abruptly as he came, Buffy just grumbled, “Seems I have a new assignment stupid powers.”
Jack had actually kept his arms around his new wife and asked tentatively, “Would you hate me right now if I asked what a slayer was?”
Buffy just sighed, “Well the story starts like this One girl in all the world . . . Only I suck at the rules so when I was in a real big jam I made all the potentials active.”
Their conversation continued for over an hour, they told each other stories about themselves, and their friends. Surprisingly, both Jack and Buffy revealed more to each other, in just over an hour, then they had shared with anyone else in several years. The conversation wound up, when Jack's stomach objected to the lack of food. Buffy smiled and Jack took the brave step forward by asking, “so are we actually contemplating this?”
Buffy gave him a predatory smile, “Oh I’m not finished with you, but we need fuel. and we should take the chance to mock the others.”
Jack loved the sound of this but added solemnly, “We are leaders and with great power, comes great responsibility,” without missing a beat, he added, “That and the chance to tease our minions mercilessly.”