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This story is No. 6 in the series "A Drop in the Ocean Series". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: PARODY! What would the characters used in 'Drop' think of the universe created there? Spoilers thru Order and S7 BtVS. *This is a parody of my own work.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > GeneralechoFR18520,24365210,96925 Oct 0324 Nov 03No

Clicker, clicker, who's got the clicker?

part: 5 of 54
musical notes: Spike sings! "Mrs. Robinson" was originally by Simon and Garfunkle, but I recommend the Lemonheads cover. "Step in Time" is from "Mary Poppins".

start session 5

Spike walks in late and glares.

Ginny: Here, Spike, I saved you a seat.

*Draco smirks at him from his seat beside Echo*

Hermione: Oh, it's starting. Spike, sit down. I can't see.

Ron: Yeah, get your fat arse out of the way.

Spike: Eat me.

Echo: Spike.

Spike: What?

[[[ *~* Scarred *~*]]]

Harry: Down in front!

Spike: Echo, pet, can I come and sit on your lap?

Draco: No.

Spike: Wasn't asking you.

Echo: Spike, just sit down.

Spike: On your lap?

Echo: No.

Spike: (pouty) You don't love me.

Echo: I love you plenty. Right now it's turning into the murderous kind of love. Have a seat.

Spike: Grumble.

[[[ Willow was shaking. Wood managed to get her out of the bookstore and over to the side of the building without anyone noticing her eyes. If he hadn't been so freaked out, he might have loved the fact that she buried her face in his chest and clung to him to do so.]]]

Draco: Because it was the first time a woman who wasn't a blowup doll had allowed him to touch her.

Oliver: Hey!

[[["Willow." He was holding her upper arms trying to look at her face.]]]

Spike: This is boring. (looks about) Hey! Where's the clicker?

Draco: (fastforwarding) Let's see. Willow's hair is covering her face. Looks better that way.

Willow: Hey.

Draco: Are you crying? She's crying. Because she wanted to hurt me. Aww, Willow.

[[[ One minute she was quite fine, than the next she wanted to rip that boy Malfoy into tiny little pieces. And dance on them. Maybe light them on fire after that. Why had he caused such a violent reaction in her?]]]

Ron: He does that to everybody.

[[[ What if she had that reaction to other students as well?]]]

Draco: Like Parkinson.

Spike: Look, if you're going to mess about and talk about yourself, you can just toss the clicker to me.

[[["Willow, look at me." "No." "Please, Will." By now Tara, Harry, Ron, and Hermione had managed to locate them. "Willow?" Tara tried to put her hand on the other girl's arm.]]]

Draco: You're just jealous, Spike.

Spike: You're damn right I am!

Snape: (reaching around Echo to snatch the clicker from Draco) I've had just about enough.

Draco: Hey!

Sirius: (reaching around Willow and taking the control from Snape) I'll do it.

Snape: Hand that back, mutt!

Sirius: You'll just fastforward through the whole thing.

Snape: So.

Sirius: SO... some of us are actually interested in watching.

[[[Willow jerked away. "No!" She sobbed a bit brokenly. "I shouldn't have come here. I don't know... I don't know what happened. It was like big black darkness tried to swallow me whole. I was so angry with him. I don't know why. But I was so angry. I wanted to punch him in the mouth."]]]

Ron: (snorting) Who doesn't?

[[["That's nothing new. Welcome to the club." Ron said.]]]

Draco: Hey!

[[[Hermione elbowed him.]]]

Ron: Hey.

[[["What's wrong with me?"]]]

Draco: Where do I start?

Tara: Shut up, ferret.

[[[Wood gave Tara a helpless look as Willow turned completely to the wall and slid down a little bit.]]]

Spike: It's a pity party.

[[[ It was killing him that Willow would cry over wanting to pop Draco Malfoy in the mouth. Ron was right. There was a whole club full of those people. She didn't need to waste her tears on the likes of him.]]]

Draco: Echo!

[[["Nothing's wrong with YOU, Will." Tara paused for a moment. "I actually threatened the boy."]]]

Draco: Boy? Boy!

Ron: Fine. Have it your way. We'll refer to you as girl from now on.

Draco: Piss off.

[[[Willow looked up at her suddenly. "What?"]]]]

*Harry snickers*

[[[Everyone was shocked by her eyes. They were solid black. Hermione gasped.]]]

Hermione: Why am I the only one gasping?

[[[ Harry wanted to. Because when she looked at him like that a little heartbeat of pain pulsed in his scar. Nothing too desperate, but it was there. Like a little bolt of current was actually running through that lightening bolt.]]]

Harry: Oh there we are. Pain in the scar. Why do they always have that happen to me in fics?

[[[But he didn't make a sound. Didn't gasp, didn't do anything. He got the feeling sharp intakes of breath due to her appearance were not what Willow needed right now. She needed to be looked at like it wasn't freaking him out that she looked like she had dark murky pools of black ink for eyes right now. He managed to keep himself at a slight widening of his eyes and a little rub to his forehead.]]]

Ginny: Damn, Harry. She's made you tough. Quit your bitching.

[[["Wicked." Ron mumbled under his breath. He thought she looked kind of cool like that.]]]

Hermione: Harry's all tough. Ron thinks it's wicked. I'm shocked. I gasp. Do I have to be made such the girl?

Snape: Miss Granger, are you aware that sometimes you whine?

Spike: Yet, you still manage to shag her seven ways to Sunday in a heck of a lot of fic.

Snape: (sputtering) Wh-what?

Willow: Spike, your wide range of reading material always manages to amaze. You read fic?

Tara: Specifically Hermione/Snape fic? Are you a member of WIKTT?

Sirius: We don't need to know. Back to task.

[[["I don't think it IS you. I think it's h-him. I was getting a very odd vibe from him. It m-made m-me so angry. And you know me. I d-don't get angry." "You're stuttering." Harry pointed out. "I kn-know. It h-happens wh-when I g-get upset or n-n-n-nervous."]]]

Tara: I don't stutter that much.

Echo: But it's so cute when you do. I just love to have you stutter.

[[[Harry put a hand on her arm. "No one saw any of this but Malfoy and Goyle." Then he placed a hand on Willow's arm.]]]

Ron: (to Harry) What's with you having to touch everyone?

[[[Willow nearly gasped out loud.]]]

Spike: Bugger! You hands are like ice, Potter!

[[[His touch was like instant calm. Everything that had been swirling so violently inside her seemed to settle at once.]]]

Willow: Makes it sound like he just cured my indigestion.

*Spike starts laughing*

[[["That's the tubby kid's name?" Willow asked as she blinked.]]]

*Draco starts laughing*

[[["Ah!" Ron jumped and pointed. Hermione jumped as well since he'd shouted right in her ear. "What IS your problem?" She snapped.]]]

Hermione: I'm either gasping or jumping or snapping. (rolling her eyes) This is great.

Spike: (turning to Snape and whispering loudly) I think afro is after your pants, Draculike... and I don't mean the literal ones. I mean the cranky ones.

Hermione: Shut up.

[[[Ron pointed at Willow. Her eyes were green again. Willow looked at everyone. "What?"]]]

Draco: Oh nothing. You're just being eye-freaky.

[[["How'd you.... you blinked and then... BAM." He waved his hands in front of his eyes.]]]

Draco: Oh Weasley, you cunning linguist.

*Ginny snickers*

[[["I'm starting to calm down. But that kid's name is Goyle? Now, that's just mean." "It's his last name." Harry supplied. "Still rather unfortunate."]]]

Draco: Agreed.

[[["You should try walking in his shoes." Harry mumbled. "Oh. Oh!" Willow turned bright red. "Maybe I should go back to Sunnydale. I'm not cut out for this stuff. I'm getting all freaky black eye and dissing the students in front of other students. That's not very teacher-like. And... AND I'm a troublemaker."]]]

Spike: (mocking) And I once flayed a man alive!

Willow: Spike!

[[["What? Willow no. You can't leave. And you are NOT a troublemaker." Tara said.]]]

*Snape snorts*

[[["I heard Snape say that I was."]]]

Snape: I never... I didn't...

Spike: Say it aloud?

[[[Ron snorted. "It's Snape. Don't listen to what that old bag of crab apples has to say."]]]

Snape: I think I might have to give some detention for that remark.

Echo: You can't do that.

Snape: Oh?

Echo: He didn't really say it, cranky pants. I said it for him.

Snape: So that is YOUR summation of my person.

Echo: You really don't know me at all.

[[["Unless it's about potions." Hermione added, much to the glaring of Ron.]]]

Hermione: And now I'm defending Snape... even though that is true.

[[[Harry chimed in. "I was being literal about the shoes. They're quite bulky and slide off. Right, Ron?"]]]

*Ron snickers*

[[[Ron started chuckling, thinking about the Polyjuice Potion incident. Harry HAD walked in Goyle's shoes. "Yeah."]]]

Draco: (suspicious) Wait a minute.

*Ron and Harry look at Echo in a panic*

Echo: Moving right along.

[[[He looked at Willow. "Look, Professor Rosenberg, you're secret's safe with us, and you can diss Goyle and Malfoy all you want. I might even join in from time to time. Just don't listen to Snape.]]]

Snape: I'd really love to give you a detention right now, Weasley.

*Echo glares*

Snape: Too bad I am being forced into a sense of fair play.

[[[ And even if you are a troublemaker, so what? So are we. Harry, Hermione, and I are most excellent at actually having trouble find us too.]]]

Harry: You've certainly got that part right.

[[[Just no more talk about going. We just met you. And I think I like the both of you already, and I never REALLY like the professors. Except for Lupin and Hagrid.]]]

Remus: Thank you, Ron.

Ron: Not at all.

[[[ And McGonagall when she's not being irritated with me. So you see, you have to stay."]]]

McGonagall: I'm certainly pleased I made your list, Mister Weasley.

Ron: Professor McGonagall, you know how I feel about you.

Draco: Do you two need a moment alone?

Ron: Oh shut it, you pervy bastard. I didn't mean it that way.

Draco: I'm not a bastard. I know who my father is.

Harry: Yes, we know. You mention him enough. (mocking) You wait till my father hears about this!

Draco: Shut up, scarhead!

Ron: You shut up, arsehole.

Hermione: Ron, don't swear.

Ron: Why? Is Mum still in here?

Ginny: Nah. She said she had a few things to do. Might be back for a later session.

Ron: Then I can swear as much as I bloody well want to.

[[["Ron's right."]]]

Ron: Ah ha!

[[[ Hermione cut him off before he could say anything. "Don't! It's just this once, I'm sure. But, professor, Ron IS right. Don't go. Especially because of anything Snape said or Draco Malfoy.]]]

Hermione: Ha!

[[[ Snape's allergic to good humor, and I see you have plenty of it, so naturally he's going to dislike you.]]]

Snape: (growling) Granger...

[[[ And Malfoy? Draco Malfoy's just a nasty little snake like his snake father."]]]

Draco: Hey!

Ginny: Don't be upset, Malfoy. That just proves your 'not a bastard' theory. You DO have a father. He's just a great ruddy snake.

[[[Willow laughed a little.]]]

Draco: I despise you, weaselgirl.

Spike: (under his breath) For now.

[[["We won't tell anyone your eyes changed colors." "Even though it's wicked cool." Ron added. "And if Malfoy does, we'll just.... call him a liar or something." Harry said.]]]

Draco: Oh that's grand.

[[["We could always say he was under the influence of PCP." Tara said.]]]

Spike: (laughing) It was gangs on PCP.

[[[Willow started laughing. "I don't understand." Wood said. "Back in Sunnydale, where we're from, whenever there was something that the police or the school couldn't explain, they always said it was gangs on PCP."]]]

Spike: I was called 'gangs on PCP' quite a bit.

[[["What's PCP?" Ron asked.]]]

Spike: Insert bizarre drug knowledge here.

[[["It's a drug." Willow supplied. "Phencyclidine. It was once used as an anesthetic, but was abandoned because of its side effects. It was a street drug back in the eighties, I think. Mostly taken with marijuana. People on PCP often feel little pain. It also induces a state of invincibility and.... am I the nerdiest person ever? I sound just like a text book."]]]

Remus: You certainly did.

Spike: It's official. Red's the nerdiest person ever.

Hermione: I'm sorry what rhymes with effulgent?

Spike: Bugger.

[[["But a cute text book." Wood said with a grin.]]]

Draco: Oh gag.

[[[Hermione started giggling. Harry and Ron quickly joined her. "How about it, professor?" Harry said with a grin. "Stick with us?"]]]

Harry: I'm not that chipper, and I don't giggle.

[[["On one condition." "Name it."]]]

Draco: You strip to your skivvies, don a tiara and a pink tutu, and do your best rendition of "I'm a Little Teapot".

Tara: You know the song "I'm a Little Teapot"?

Draco: (sarcastic) British here. We know all about teapots, thank you. Isn't that what all you yanks think? Brits and their tea.

Ginny: And you wonder why nobody likes you.

[[["You cease and desist with the 'professor' business. When we aren't in class, we are Willow and Tara." "Agreed." Tara said. "I hear Professor Maclay, and I start looking around for who they're taking about."]]]

Snape: (sighing) And suddenly I'm so painfully bored.

[[[Ron snickered.]]]

Sirius: (jerking awake) What?

Snape: Were you asleep? (reaching for the clicker) Give me that!

Willow: (snatching the clicker) I think I'll handle this.

[[["Right." Harry said. "Willow and Tara then. I think I can handle that." He grinned at her.]]]

Hermione: Thank you. Their bickering is always SO annoying.

*Harry started giggling*

[[[Willow was liking this boy's grin.]]]

Spike: (singing) And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson...

[[[The bell clanged as the group entered Ollivander's. There was a mother with her son buying his first wand. "Oh, you're busy. We'll come back." "Ah!" Mr. Ollivander called. "Don't you move, Professor Rosenberg. I've been waiting for you and Professor Maclay all summer. And you brought friends, I see. Most excellent. And one of them appears to be Harry Potter."]]]

Draco: I thought it was just me, but no, the man is just creepy.

[[[The woman turned to look at Harry as if she were seeing a ghost or Brad Pitt or the president. Or a combination of the three.]]]

Draco: (snorting) Brad Pitt, my arse.

Ginny: Brad Pitt and your arse? Wishful thinking?

Draco: Shut up.

[[[Mr. Ollivander smiled at him. "How's that wand working out for you, boy?"]]]


Ginny: Yeah, Harry, how's your wand?

Harry: Ginny!

McGonagall: What a great lot of perverts.

[[["Quite well actually."]]]

*out-and-out laughing*

[[["So we'll all being staying for tea as soon as my business here is finished, hmmm?" "We don't want to intrude." Hermione said.]]]

Draco: Except that we really do.

[[["Nonsense. We'll all have a fine talk. About vampires." Hermione's eyes went wide. Vampires? Had he just said they would chat about vampires?]]]

Spike: Yes.

[[[Mr. Ollivander turned back to the young boy before him. "Try this one."]]]

Spike: Hey. There will be no trying of the Spike... unless the authoress wants a go.

Echo: (under her breath) Don't tempt me. This has to stay rated R-ish.

Snape: (rolling his eyes) Disgusting.

[[["Why did that woman look at you like that?" Willow asked Harry.]]]

Draco: You're Fairy Rotter. Women should be oblivious to you.

Harry: At least I'm not drooling over someone who isn't noticing me.

Draco: What are you talking about?

[[[They were still waiting up front while Mr. Ollivander 'tidied up' the back room.]]]

Harry: I'm talking about you trying to be the author's pet over there, Malfoy. She loves you. She adores you, but if it's down to you and Spike. Spike'll win. Everybody knows but you.

Tara: Spike'll win as long as Aragorn isn't in this fic.

[[["Like what?"]]]

Ginny: Who?

[[["Like you were Merlin right out of the King Arthur tales."]]]

Tara: Aragorn... from Lord of the Rings. Wears dirt like no one else on the planet. The dirtier he gets, the more attractive he becomes. He's the only guy that flips my switch.

Draco: Should we be listening to this? You like a guy? I prefer to think of you in a more lesbian setting.

[[[Harry lifted the hair off of his ]]]

Spike: Foreskin.

[[[ forehead. Willow stared.]]]

Ginny: Eww, Spike!

[[["What is that?" Tara asked.]]]

Spike: Foreskin is the-

Willow: Spike!

[[[ She couldn't help it. She reached up and traced the line of the little scar.]]]

Draco: Gah! She's touching Potter's penis!

Tara: I am not! I wouldn't touch anyone's penis! I'm gay!

Spike: Unless that Aragorn bloke is about. You'd give his penis a little bit of the touch.

Tara: You'd have sex with him too!

*Spike raises an eyebrow*

Tara: Just shut up, Spike! (turns to Draco) You're just a pervert, Draco Malfoy! A pasty ferret-y pervert!

Echo: (shocked) Tara.

[[[Harry shivered. No one had ever done that before.]]]


[[[ He had the weirdest sensation when she did. ]]]

Ginny: This certainly has taken a very dirty turn.

Spike: Too bad the masterbeaters aren't here. They'd be enjoying this.

[[[Something flashed in his head. Voices. A memory or a portent or something. It was strange. He couldn't make out the voices, but one of them was familiar. He just couldn't place it. He did happen to finally catch one sentence amidst all the muttering.]]]

Harry: Great. Harry's hearing voices. Spectacular.

Spike: At least you're getting some touch.

[[[*She was a drop in the ocean compared to you*]]]

Spike: Creepy time.

[[["Harry?" He blinked. "Sorry. This is the scar I bear. Bad wizard named Voldemort-" "Harry, don't say that name." Hermione whispered.]]]

Harry: That really pisses me off. He killed my soddin' parents. I ought to be able to say Voldemort's name whenever I choose.

Hermione: Harry, don't-

[[["We've been through this before. Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort." Harry hissed. "I'll not give him the power of my fear by not mentioning his name."]]]

Harry: Yeah! What he said!

[[["He killed my parents and tried to kill me. He's actually tried to kill me a couple of times, in a couple of different forms. I'm the only one he hasn't been able to kill, and he's killed a lot of people. I'm the boy who lived. My mother gave her life for mine. That's why everyone looks at me like I'm a freak."]]]

Draco: No, everybody looks at you like you're a freak because you're a freak.

[[["Not the only freak." Willow said with a wink.]]]

Draco: Did you just call yourself a freak?

Willow: Shut up.

[[[Harry smiled. Meanwhile Tara was making a silent vow that this Voldemort would get Harry over her dead body. For some reason she'd become downright motherly in her feelings towards him the second she touched that ]]]

Spike: Foreskin.

Echo: I am gonna beat your ass.

Spike: Promise?

[[[ scar. He was a bit like Willow in a way.]]]

Draco: Girlie

[[[ Both had been touched by dark magic and come out just a bit scarred.]]]

Draco: Wait. I was being smart ass-y too. Where's my beating?

Ron: I can help you with that.

[[[So she was going to do anything to make sure he stayed safe. Just like she would for Willow.]]]

Draco: Stupid Harry wanking Potter. Everyone loves him.

Ginny: But he's not bitter.

[[[Six mouths fell open when they walked to the back of Ollivander's. The table was floating in the air. So was Mr. Ollivander. "Tea party on the ceiling." Tara whispered. "Just like in Mary Poppins. How cool."]]]

Spike: You know the best part in Poppins is the whole "Step in Time" dance sequence with the chimney sweeps. (singing) It's the master! It's the master... step in time...

Tara: (looking at him oddly) I fear you.

[[[ "Well, come on up." He said. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all looked at each other in confusion. Willow had her wand out before any of them could even blink.]]]

Spike: Because it's not a party until someone whips their dick out.

Echo: Spike!

[[[She swished and flicked. "Penna adlevo."]]]

Draco: What's that?

Snape: Latin, you imbecile.

Draco: Latin for what?

Snape: Impudence!

Draco: It's Latin for impudence?

Snape: No, half-wit! Impudence! From you!

Draco: And you're shocked by this?

Echo: Penna is Latin for feather and adlevo means to lift up or to make erect.


Echo: Obviously I was using the lift up definition. Perverts.

Remus: Well, if that isn't the pot calling the cauldron black.

[[[Ron yelled as his feet left the ground, and he floated up to the ceiling. Tara and Wood both whipped out their wands and followed Willow's example with Harry and Hermione. "Penna adlevo." Harry giggled as a ticklish sense of weightlessness filled him. Hermione gasped and grabbed onto his arm as they both floated up next to Ron.]]]

Hermione: Me with the gasping again. And grabbing onto Harry.

Harry: I don't mind.

[[[ Wood and Tara turned towards each other. "Penna adlevo." The two of them floated up. "Hey!" Willow said as she put her hands on her hips. "What about me?" ]]]

Spike: Threesome time.

Willow: Spike.

[[[Tara pointed her wand at Willow, but Harry stopped her mid-swish. "Can I try it?"]]]

Draco: Oooooo, Potter.

Harry: Pervert, the spell. I'm trying the spell.

[[[Tara smiled and nodded. They were already teaching, it seemed.]]]

Spike: But teaching what exactly.

Draco: Please let it be sex ed.

[[["Penna adlevo." Willow gasped as she rose quite a bit faster than everyone else had. She braced her hand on the ceiling. "Whoa."]]]

Spike: Did Willow just say whoa? Thanks, Keanu.

[[[ "Sorry about that." Harry said looking a little embarrassed. "Must have ]]]

Spike: Licked.

[[[ flicked too hard." "No, Harry, Willow just likes to take off rather quickly." Wood said with a chuckle.]]]

Spike: Red, you slut bunny.

[[[Then, much to Willow's dismay, he began to tell the tale of her first ]]]

Spike: Lesbian encounter with Tara.

Willow: Spike!

Draco: Woo hoo!

[[[ flying lesson as Mr. Ollivander poured the tea.]]]

Draco: Dammit.

[[[ The shopkeeper was trying to hide the fact that he was giggling. He was doing a very bad job of it. They all were.]]]

Snape: (to Willow) You have the control. Are you going to move this along at all? Black's snoring over there.

Willow: (fastforwarding) Fine. Me. Wood, and Tara spend the night at the Leaky Cauldron. All in the same room... with one bed.

Draco: Woo hoo.

Willow: (fastforwarding) Because we hung out all day instead of getting a room beforehand.

[[[ Wood had behaved very gentlemanly. He'd even gone as far as to insist he sleep on the floor,]]]

Spike: Pansy.

[[[ not that Willow or Tara had actually let him.]]]

Ron: Go, Oliver.

[[[ They'd simply waited until he had fallen asleep then lifted the softly snoring boy into the bed and crawled into it with him.]]]

Spike: Pansy.

[[[Needless to say Wood had been quite shocked when he'd woken up.]]]

Draco: Bet little Wood was a bit more happy than shocked.

Snape: (grabbing the control) Give me that! Spike!

*Snape throws the clicker. Spike catches*

Spike: Thank you.

Snape: No one else is allowed the controller for the duration of this... this... vivisection.

Echo: I resent that remark, cranky pants.

Snape: I care.

Spike: (fastforwarding) Moving right along. The three get to the train. Red gets misty-eyed. She's going to miss dopey boy.

[[[Who would she and Tara get into trouble with?]]]

Draco: I volunteer.

Spike: You wish (fastforwarding) Students are about. Glenda gets all sniffy. They promise to meet again. Blah blah blah. Ickle Ronniekins wonders what they're saying.

Ron: Don't call me that.

Spike: (fastforwarding) Potter gets snotty. Afro gets know-it-all.

Hermione: Hey!

[[[ "It's so obvious that he likes the both of them." Hermione said in that superior tone she took on every so often.]]]

Hermione: Echo.

[[[Ron turned his look to her. "Of course he likes them both. I happen to like them both. What of it?"]]]

Spike: (fastforwarding) Someone with big hair gets jealous. Ronnie gives an in-depth on why he likes these people he just met yesterday. Glenda's corset-wearing is mentioned.

[[[Hermione's eyes narrowed to slits.]]]

Hermione: What?

[[[ She slapped Ron on his arm quite hard before whirling around and stomping onto the train.]]]

Hermione: What?

[[["What was that all about?" Ron asked Harry. Harry just shrugged. But if he didn't know better, he would have swore Hermione was jealous.]]]

Hermione: I'm... WHAT?!

Spike: Jealous.

Hermione: Ron wishes.

Ron: Yeah, maybe I do wish. (great pause and some pinkening ears) I... er...

Snape: Oh bloody hell.

Spike: Moving right along. (fastforwarding) Harry was thinking about vampires instead. He wants to meet me. Aww, Potter. Then his scar starts painin' him. He puts his hand to his head and looks like a freak.

[[["My scar..."]]]

Harry: (whining) Echo.

[[["Every time your scar gets a twitch, bad things happen. Really bad. Are we never gonna have a school term that runs smoothly?"]]]

Ron: Here here.

[[["You'd want that?"]]]

Ron: Actually, yes.

[[["Well, no, but we could at least have one that doesn't end with some sort of mortal peril. Preceded by a staggering amount of research." "What makes you think that my scar hurting means mortal peril's on the horizon." Ron just gave him a look.]]]

Spike: Because that's Rowling's bag, baby.

[[["Right. Best keep our]]]

Spike: PANTS!

[[[ open."]]]

Echo: Spike!

[[[He didn't tell Ron that this time the pain had been accompanied by an image that flashed in his mind so quickly he almost didn't catch it. Or the words he'd heard. Again. *She was a drop in the ocean compared to you* All he'd seemed to remember about the image was the white blonde hair the man had.]]]

Draco: White blonde hair? Dreaming about me, freak?

Spike: You wish. It said MAN.

[[[The conductor was calling all aboard.]]]

Ginny: Here we go.

[[[Willow jumped when Oliver grabbed her arm, spun her around, and laid a big wet kiss on her mouth.]]]

Draco: Oh Merlin! Sick!

[[[ It's not that it was bad, per se, it was actually quite good.]]]

Snape: Do we have to watch this?

[[[ She just hadn't been expecting it. It had started out a bit awkward, but quickly progressed into a bit of passion.]]]

Tara: Will.

[[[ The fact that he was a good three years her junior didn't bother her, it never had. She also wasn't bothered by the fact that he was a boy. She had liked boys once.]]]

Draco: Really now.

Spike: Like you stand a chance.

[[[ That wasn't the problem. It just didn't feel right.]]]

Oliver: Oh gee, thanks, Echo.

[[[ Not that it wasn't nice. Willow was quite enjoying it, but there was a tiny little something missing from the moment.]]]

Ginny: Oh, Oliver. Just be patient. She's not the one for you.

Spike: (fastforwarding) Right. Dopey looks all self-satisfied. Glenda's laughing until... oh my Lord, Kyle, did you just throw doo doo at Eric... he kisses her too!

[[[Wood hauled her up and kissed her as well. Apparently liking them both, he was all about the equal treatment.]]]

Ginny: Or he's just a big manwhore.

Oliver: Ginny!

[[[ Tara didn't really like boys.]]]

Tara: Still don't.

[[[ She'd never met one she thought was worth their sweaty efforts, but this was kind of nice. He was sweet, both in taste and touch. When they pulled away from each other, Tara was blushing.]]]

Spike: Aww, Glenda. Check out the blushing virgin.

Tara: Shut up.

[[["Oliver!" "Don't forget me." He called as he walked off. "Not a chance!" Willow called after him.]]]

Spike: Really. You just tongue raped both of us.

[[[They turned to the train to see practically the entire student body watching them through windows and the sections between cars or the platform itself.]]]

Spike: In public. (fastforwarding) Glenda goes redder. The snog was nice but did nothing for Red. And, lo and behold, Red herself is worried that a student will blab.... to cranky pants. Not worried that Rupes will find out. She's concerned about Bitchy Britches. My my, look who's spending a awful lot of her precious thoughts on a certain greasy-haired someone else.

[[[ Giles was going to know. Snape was going to know. And Cranky Pants would find a way to torture her about it.]]]

Snape: (looking at Echo) I despise you.

Echo: To quote you... I care.

Spike: (to Echo) Say, pet, you wanna go get a drink?

Echo: Sure. I could really go for a cherry Dr. Pepper.

Spike: I was thinking more... whiskey.... vodka... tequila. I know you love tequila. Little lime, little salt.

Echo: No way. You just wanna get me drunk and molest me.

Draco: (mumbling) Like you'd mind.

Echo: And pictures would end up all over the Internet. Or you'd get me all inebriated and vamp me. I don't think vampire Echo would be a good thing.

Spike: I disagree.

Echo: Disagree all you like. I like all my blood where it is.

Spike: Fine. I heard a certain webmistress finally got Twisting the Hellmouth all sorted out after all that trouble she was having. What say you and I celebrate, pet? We'll grab your drink and go read a bit.

Echo: Spike, we just got through reading. I'm all readed out.

Spike: No, luv, I'd read to you. (smirking) Rub your feet a little.

Echo: You're evil.

Spike: I know.

Snape: I feel ill.

Spike: Come on, pet. Let's go find us some nasty Snape/Mione sex fics.

Hermione: WHAT?!!

end session 5

The End?

You have reached the end of "the Dropverse Sessions" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 24 Nov 03.

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