"So what are they...?"
"Dan...I'm not sure...really pissed off Bigfoots or is it Bigfeet?"
"Robbie, how's the puppy?"
I looked over at Coyote who was licking where he had gotten bitten. Then called over to my darling wife, "He's good, I got a question for you now...Why have they backed away?"
Looking out over the woods there were no signs of huge creatures or glowing red eyes. Coyote's mane was still fluffed up so I knew they were in the area, they had just hidden themselves in the trees most likely.
I looked up. I looked down. I wandered one end of the rise we were on, to the other. I fixed my most intellectual dwarf genius face on and began the scholarly action of scratching my jaw. My eyes defocused slightly as I stared at the terrain and then it hit me.
"Harper you brilliant brilliant love of my life!"
"What's happening? What's going on?" Sheriff Dan looked even more confused.
"Robbie's thought of something. So which reason makes me brilliant today?"
I had started shinnying up the largest tree growing on the rise, "Your call to Garth. Why did you say Faith's Valhalla?"
"I don't know."
"You know the stuff we've run into in the past. I mean look at Coyote...Why did you prefix it with Faith's name?"
"Because they didn't feel right...They didn't feel natural!"
"As I said, 'Brilliant brilliant love of my life'," by this time I was twenty feet up and had a decent view of the terrain from above.
"Dan, what do you know about the Native American presence here?"
"Well the closest rez is White Earth...that's a Chippewa reservation."
"No...the tribes that were here before the Chippewa migrated west."
"Not much really, why?"
"Well, whoever they were, they built mounds..." I was looking down on a huge serpent snaking through the woods. A serpent mound that we were standing on. "Congratulations Dan! You've made the archeological find of the year!" I slid down and moved back to stand next to Harper.
"What's going on Frederickson?"
"Listen close. We are standing on a serpent mound."
"Thousands of years ago the local tribes used to bury their dead in mounds. I think there's actually an Indian Mounds park in Saint Paul."
"Yeah...okay, I remember seeing it when I was in Junior High."
"They also made mounds for other purposes. In Ohio, I remember passing a sign when I was on tour describing the 'Great Serpent Mound'. I got curious and went to see it during my off time. It was over a thousand feet long and was probably used for religious ceremonies."
"The one we're standing on?" Harper spoke up.
"A lot smaller and it's a coiled serpent. It's also a lot taller. The one in Ohio was only one to three foot or so...This one is easily six to eight feet. With the overgrowth it would be impossible to spot from the air and as we're in a National Forest logging doesn't come through here much I imagine."
"Got that right Mongo, the Reservation fought a couple of lawsuits to keep it that way."
"No wonder it hasn't been found then...Anyway, serpent mounds were religious sites...holy ground."
"You mean those things are like vampires?"
"Not sure on that my love, but they seem to working from a similar playbook."
"What! Vampires!?!" Dan looked like he was going to explode.
"Do you want to tell them..."I gestured towards the woods, "...that they don't exist?"
"Point taken. So what now?"
"If I'm right, they can't get any closer and we can't leave. I guess we're under siege until the cavalry comes..."