I had arrived at my office at about 9, more than ready to put the events of the previous night behind me. Garth had arrived along with two squad cars, fully ready to put the hurt on whatever had messed with his beloved sister-in-law, and incidentally his catastrophe prone little brother.
The NYPD knew all about Los Bros. Fredricksons' tendency to reciprocate upon attacks on our persons with overwhelming and generally excessive force. So the officers and supervisor on the scene were very surprised not to find any ill-doer's carcasses neatly stacked with a manly dwarf posing on top. The tired and grimy dwarf leaning against his lady love that greeted them, was all they got.
"So Mongo, what the hell caused the panic button to be tripped? You know your buddy Veil would be here too if he was in town."
"Sorry big brother, but I'm not really sure what happened. Harper and I were on our way back from dinner when I got the feeling we were being stalked. I let Harper know, and then guided our path near this oh so convenient alley so I could get a look at them."
"You mean confront them?"
I cringed internally at my brother, the human lie detector, "Welll…maybe?"
"So you went kung fu dwarf on them. So where are they? You're up and around ,so it figures that they wouldn't be."
"Honestly, I don't know what happened. After telling Harper to head for cover when I moved, I swung around the corner and spotted six individuals with bad intent. Just then this brunette ninja came sailing down from above and did something to one of them so hard, that he *poof* turned to dust. Two of them charged me and then I was a little busy avoiding being turned into dwarf pate. I don't know who they were, but God did they hit hard and move fast. I stuck to dodging and noticed that the brunette had clipped two more with the dusting effect. I asked her what it took to stop these guys, since my usual repertoire of tricks wasn't really being effective. She suggested: Fire, Decapitation, and a stake through the heart." Garth gave a sharp intake of breath at that, and before he could speak I cut him off, "Oh yeah, she didn't sound like she was joking. I kind of removed one's head by three hydroshocks to the base of the skull. Result was *poof*. The other two took off for parts unknown after that."
"Mongo, they were vampires?"
"Damn if I know, but if they weren't they sure had the playbook down. They were almost as fast as me, and hit as hard as you or Veil. My left side needs a jacuzzi and a couple of shots of medicinal scotch before it will condescend to even talk to me."
"Harper, is my mentally deficient brother telling the truth?"
"As if you needed confirmation…Yes, it happened like Robby said. I slid under that car, " she pointed, "so all I saw were fast moving feet and legs, except for when he turned that last one to dust."
"Okay you two, wait here. I'll deal with the police, " Garth walked over to the shift supervisor and began engaging him in conversation. In his previous career as a Detective with the NYPD, Garth had become relatively well known for his professional skills, as well as the fact that he had a extremely height-challenged former circus star as a brother. The reputation allowed him to smooth over various…difficulties that the two of us might incur. After a few moments the supervisor called over the officers, there was a quick conference, and the three left in their respective vehicles.
Garth then helped me over to the back seat of his car, where Harper buckled me in, held my hand the entire trip back to the townhouse, and told me how brave I was.
Back at home Garth grilled me for another hour, got disgusted at how I couldn't remember any addition useful information about the attack except the interloper's name, Faith, then growled some more and went home to Mary, his wife. By this time, Harper, being oh so wise in the proper care and treatment of battered dwarfs, had poured me a scotch and filled the tub.
"I truly don't deserve you."
"Hush Robby, now lie back and relax…"
So the evening hadn't ended at all badly. But in the here and now, I had case files to look at and a syllabus for my criminology course at Columbia to finish writing. Of course, that's when David, our secretary, buzzed me.
"Mongo, there are a couple of women to see you, a 'Just Faith' and a Dawn Summers. Should I send them back?"
I thought quickly for a second and then replied, "Sure go ahead, and tell Garth and Harper to get to my office as well after you deliver them."
"No problem boss."