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5 Women Xander Never Dated

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Summary: Xander's luck with women, continued true to form after the fall of Sunnydale.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Xander-Centered > Ficlet Collections
Miscellaneous > Surprise Crossover
SithicusFR786,01903321,67714 Nov 0921 Nov 09Yes

Bonus Chapter 3 Meeting Ariel TLO

Author's Notes: This one is starting to get away from me, which is why I cut it off, wait and see what the future may hold. I really think this could go places, throw a monkey wrench into the plans of Disney's sequlitis direct-to-dvd adventure. See chapter three for disclaimer concerning The Little Mermaid characters.

TLO, means The Last One, no more Bonus Chapters for this one. Not now that my muse has struck to some inkling of an idea.



The castle stood on the edge of the seashore, a grand looking place, with hundreds of windows and stairs and so much it just couldn’t be all contained in one simple glance. Xander had never met a king before, at least, not until he met the king of all the oceans. King Triton had taken one look at him, and considered him, ‘prime material for a son-in-law’, at least that’s what he said.
Now he had to meet another king, true some said he was just a prince, but in all honesty he was a king. The sisters of Ariel had insisted, they came to visit as often as they could, of course for them they pretty much stayed in the water. They had no interest in growing legs.

Since he was unique, able to change simply by getting dry enough, Xander could easily visit them while on land. In essence he was being asked to pay a visit on behalf of the family, it made him considerably nervous.

“Hello there,” one of the servants called down from a window. She waved at him. “Pleasure to meet you, sir,” she added.

“Um, yes,” Xander returned with a nervous smile. He had to remember that, not only did these people know about merfolk, but they were quite friendly towards them. Considering they had become connected to the life under the sea.

“Always havin’ ta look after dat girl,” an accented person mumbled to himself, unseen and out of sight.

Xander dragged himself out of the ocean, and with aid from the sun, began the arduous task of drying off. “Remind me to get them to put towels around out here, if this visiting thing is going to be a semi-regular occurrence.”

“Jumpin’ jellyfish,” the same accented person exclaimed in some surprise. “Why are you crawlin’ out onto de sand, mon?”

Xander looked around, finally he spotted a tiny crab scuttling across the beach towards him. “I’m here to visit Ariel,” he explained.

“Ariel, Ariel didn’t say nothin’ about visitors from Atlantica,” the crab said. “Just who are you?” he demanded suspiciously.

“Xander Harris,” Xander greeted.

The crab let out a gasp, he raced up to Xander and scrambled up his arm onto his shoulder. “You’re dat human datin’ the other princesses,” he said in a nervous tone, “oh please don’t tell de sea king I said anythin’ against Ariel.” He chuckled. “I didn’t mean anythin’.”

“Chill out, crab guy, I wouldn’t dream of making your life any more trouble than it’s worth.” Xander pushed himself up, and began to drag himself further from the shoreline. “If you’d asked me three months ago that I’d be talking to a crab, I’d have laughed in your face, I still can’t get over the fact that as a were-mer, as it were, I can understand you.”

“Were-mer?” the crab repeated. He started to laugh and laugh. “Ha, ha, dat’s a good one, were-mer.”

“Well since I can change into a merman with salt water,” Xander said and then he shrugged.

“Right, I’m Sebastian, I’m sure de king has mentioned me,” Sebastian said with a friendly grin.

Xander paused. “I don’t think he ever has to be honest,” he admitted.

“Oh.” Sebastian’s face fell. “Well, uh, dat doesn’t matter. I just helped save his daughter’s life is all, I’m sure he must have… Just forgot.”

“Hey don’t take it so hard, the sea king’s probably never mentioned you to me because all he ever likes to talk about is ocean politics,” Xander explained with a sigh. “I swear, Triton is grooming me to take his place, honestly how am I supposed to juggle life on land with duties under the sea? Not only that, but I don’t think I like the thought of having a harem of wives, those six girls still haven’t decided which one of them actually likes me the best.” Xander’s rant trailed off as he began to feel the tingling in his tail.

“De king wants you as future ruler of de sea?” Sebastian demanded. “How come I’m de last one to be notified o’ dese th’ngs?”

“Uh, I said I think, I never said he was actually thinking it, Sebastian,” Xander reminded as he pushed himself up onto his knees. Removing the water proof bag he’d been using, Xander started to pull out his clothes. As he’d discovered the first time he became a merman, clothing didn’t come back, it was actually kind of annoying. He’d lost his best Hawaiian shirt.

“Of course you did,” Sebastian returned, “but I know de sea king, if he’s teachin’ you de politics o’ de sea den… Well den I’m just gonna have ta accept it, and so are you,” he stated shaking one claw in Xander’s face.

“Whatever, can we have this discussion some other time, it’s time for me to meet the youngest daughter, and the cause of all my woes,” Xander said.

Sebastian gave a little nod. “I can relate to dat mon, dat Ariel is worse den her sisters combined.”

Xander shot a nervous glance up at the palace. “Really?” he asked rhetorically. “Now I wish I’d thought to bring a gift or something,” he admitted.

“Considerin’ de princess is pregnant, I th’nk just haven’ news o’ her family will cheer her up,” Sebastian said.

“Pregnant!” Xander blurted nervously.

“Ya mon, I know what yer thinkin’,” Sebastian said with a sigh. “Still, it could be worse, I suppose, though I don’t rightly know how it could.” Sebastian scratched the back of his head with one claw.

“Don’t jinx us, we don’t need any trouble right now,” Xander said. Tucking his water proof bag under one shoulder he made his way towards the large staircase leading up into the palace. “Any decorum I should keep in mind?” he asked over his shoulder.

“Just don’t mention sea food,” Sebastian replied.

“I think that goes without saying,” Xander muttered.



The dark haired Prince Eric approached the young one-eyed man, it was unusual to find any pirates in this day and age, at least none around his lands, but they were known. Of course, this young man wasn’t exactly a pirate, but pirates were the only ones who actually wore eye patches. Although there were a few old sailors, Eric probably shouldn’t judge based on appearance alone.

“Your majesty,” Xander greeted with a slight bow.

“Please, we don’t need formalities, according to Atina we’re almost related,” Eric returned with a warm smile.

“Heh, heh, uh right.” Xander nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “Tell that to my friends,” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Um, nothing important, sire,” Xander returned automatically.

“Well, if you’ll follow me I’ll take you to Ariel,” Eric said. He decided to ignore the title Xander had used, obviously the young man was very nervous, which made sense considering Eric also had met the sea king. And he hadn’t been in his domain at the time.

“Eric, Eric, is that you?”

Xander glanced up, standing in the doorway to what he guessed was one of the sitting rooms, was a red headed woman barely older than sixteen, if he had to guess. He still wasn’t sure if some kind of weird time travel thing was involved, he just chalked it up to fairy tale stuff, and went with the flow. Otherwise he’d go mad.

She had a fairly large belly protruding under her dress, which was a rich blue-green in color, Eric moved up to her and took her by the arm. “You shouldn’t be walking around, Ariel, not in your condition.”

“Eric, men and women have been having babies long before us,” she returned with a shake of her head, and a light giggle.

“Your highness,” Xander greeted formally.

“Oh please, don’t even start with that, Xander, my sisters have been talking about you so much I already feel as if you’re family,” she reprimanded in a friendly tone.

Xander chuckled slightly, and allowed them to lead him into the room. “Well, uh, it’s just… I’ve never really met royalty before,” he admitted. “It still takes some getting used to.”

“I suppose it would,” Eric remarked.

Ariel pulled Xander down onto a large sofa. “So tell me, how are things in Atlantica? How’s Daddy?” she asked with a warm smile.

Xander could actually see the glow of motherhood in that smile, he began to grow comfortable. “I’m not sure where to begin, your… Ariel,” he said. “I haven’t actually been in Atlantica that long, although it has been a few months since I first met your sisters…” He trailed off and took a moment to study the room, it was actually quite nice.

“Yes, you know I never thought they’d ever agree on anything,” Ariel admitted. “I can’t believe all six of them are dating you at once,” she added with a giggle.

“I’m still having trouble with it myself,” Xander muttered under his breath, “Willow would never believe it.”

“What was that?” Eric asked politely.

“Oh, sorry, just thinking out loud,” Xander explained. “I suppose I should start by congratulating the both of you on your pregnancy, Ariel,” he said.

“Thank you,” she returned. Reaching out she took Eric’s hand and squeezed it.

“I suppose I should start with Aquata,” Xander said.



“Disgusting,” the woman commented with a slight grimace.

“Think he could mess up our plans, Morgana?” Undertow questioned.

“Doubtful, he still hasn’t even figured out the rules of his transformation,” Morgana replied with a smirk. Slowly she crawled out of her resting place, eight legs propelling her through the water. “Don’t worry, Undertow, once Princess Ariel’s child has been born, Triton’s trident will be mine!”

“But, what if this, freak job, get’s in the way?” Undertow asked.

“Well that’s simple to deal with, Undertow,” Morgana said. She waved her hand over the cauldron, and an image of a blonde woman and a red head appeared. “All we have to do, is let his friends know what’s going on under their very noses,” she explained. “Cloak, Dagger, I think it’s time we paid a visit to the surface world, don’t you?” Morgana’s smile widened and she burst into wicked laughter.

To Be Continued ?

The End

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