Disclaimer: As usual, all the characters belong to their respective owners. I do this for my amusement, and hopefully for the amusement of those who read my stuff.
Buffy, Faith and Dawn and the brief mention of Angel belong to Joss Whedon who rocked up until 2008.
Aaron and his team belong to the Mark Gordon Company and CBS/ABC. (Hopefully that's the right owner).
Seeley Booth belongs to Hart Hanson.
Amendment: The first version of this chapter had the real President in it as a character which turned out to be a big no-no, (sorry MODs!). The new president is mine, all mine :).
Please, PLEASE review! I love all the people that responded to the first chapter, it really gave my muse a big boost to finish the second chapter so ahead of time.
This is when the FBI meets the New Council, the more specific Department meetings are coming up ahead.
Criminal Minds/ Bones
President Lincoln was a good man; he had goals for his second term as the leader of the free world, he loved his wife and children and always tried to do right by the people that voted for him.
He definitely did not deserve to be subjected to three of the New Council’s figureheads teleporting into the White House, asking to get ‘a hookup with the Feebs’ as Miss Lehane so charmingly put it.
His Chief of Security was flabbergasted at the ease with which they broke through the White House security wards.
A smiling Buffy Summers answered his unspoken accusation with
“Oh don’t be such a worrywart. Wills was responsible for all the magical security in this place- she’s the only one who can bypass the security spells.”
Her younger sister chimed in at that point “we just asked her nicely to magick us into your private quarters, so that we could talk without interruptions…”
Dawn Summers broke off her train of thought and eyed the president’s sweat soaked post- workout body lustily.
The Chief of Security made a strangled half snorting half coughing sound at the audacity of the young woman to so blatantly ogle the American leader.
A squeak made him rapidly turn his head towards one of his Secret Service agents just in time to witness Miss Lehane grab the agent’s posterior while simultaneously winking at another agent standing beside him. The Chief whipped out his arm to drag the poor agent closer to him seeing as how he was unsuccessfully trying to evade Miss Lehane’s probing grasp.
Seeing his usually unflappable Secret Service detail be reduced to a bunch of quivering puddles of fear and shock was the last straw, and President Lincoln found himself agreeing to let the three young women spend whatever period of time they needed with the FBI division of their choice.
Aaron Hotchner was *not* amused. There had been an emergency meeting called between the FBI’s Department Heads and the Deputy Director himself. As the Head of the Behavioral Analysis Unit- he was obligated to attend but that did not mean he was obligated to be in a good mood during such a blatant waste of time.
The Director spent the first twenty minutes alternately cajoling and threatening the Department Heads, all in the name of cooperating with an agency that only one person at the meeting, besides the Director himself, had heard of. Aaron supposed that it boded well for the agency’s reputation that the only person to know of its activities grew rather pale and began breathing shallowly at the mention that its top people would be visiting.
Thirty minutes into the meeting, the Director’s assistant rushed in cheeks red with embarrassment and handed his boss as shiny, silver cell phone. The Director held it up to his ear, a look of surprise momentarily crossing his normally stern features. He then stepped away from the microphone, laughed at whatever the speaker on the other line was saying and handed the phone back to his assistant.
Due to unforeseen circumstances within the New Council (and don’t think that Aaron didn’t secretly scorn at the name), the representatives were late. The Director had decided to keep the Department Heads in the building rather than have the meeting disband and have to gather everybody together again. The representatives were rather insistent that they would be there within the hour. So Aaron, seething with anger at the upstart agency and its irresponsible representatives, went downstairs where his team was anxiously awaiting news of what went on at the meeting and how it would affect them.
Ten minutes of reassuring a nervously bouncing Garcia, an increasingly stoic Morgan and scarily inquisitive Reid and Prentiss- and Aaron got a text from the Director’s assistant that the meeting was back in session. He hoped that the Council reps had made it, even though he hadn’t seen anyone coming through the security desks downstairs.
As he walked into the boardroom, he was annoyed to see three Personal Assistants that had somehow wandered into a closed meeting. Taking a closer look at their attire, Aaron could clearly see that the FBI dress code had really gone downhill: the older brunette was wearing leather pants and what JJ had affectionately termed as a ‘manbeater’, the younger brunette was wearing something that looked like it belonged in a fetish themed bordello on top of a pair of skintight jeans and the very short blonde was dressed in a pink dress that showed a healthy amount of thigh every time she moved. It was a good thing that Aaron so rarely questioned his internal voice otherwise he really would have recognized that all the time spent in closed quarters with three female FBI agents was leaving him with a much better appreciation for women’s clothes than he had ever had during his marriage to Hailey.
Seeing as how the Director was still absent, Aaron took it upon himself to escort the Assistants out before the Council people entered the room and were shocked at what the FBI had allowed within their meetings. He strode purposefully up to front where the three young women were engaged in what looked like a furious game of ‘Rock, paper, scissors’ and managed to overhear a few snippets of their debate.
“I say we go where the action is, fuck- I just want to shoot something,” obviously the very pretty, foul mouthed, leather clad assistant was delusional- it was appalling how she got past the mandatory psych evaluations.
The younger brunette stomped her foot and crossed her arms rather petulantly across her very abundant cleavage. Not that Aaron was noticing or anything.
“No, no no!” he winced at the decibel her voice had reached on that last ‘no’.
“I want to go with that Angel looking guy, they get to work with Dr.Brennan. Dr.Brennan. Do you realize???? She’s only the foremost expert on forensic anthropology, and I will *never* forgive either one of you if I miss this chance to meet her!”
The blonde woman eyed the much taller whining brunette.
“Dawnie ya know that we don’t really get into the science thing much, that’s more of Willow’s area.”
That was it, Aaron mentally snapped himself out of his silk and leather induced stupor and stepped forward intent on making sure that the three clearly delusional young women were safely escorted out before they could harm anyone.
“Excuse me, I’m Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner. I believe that you ladies are lost, this is a closed meeting and I’d rather there be no problems when the Director comes back.”
Three sets of glares were suddenly directed his way and Aaron was disconcerted to find that he was a little unnerved by the gazes of three unarmed young women.
The older brunette smirked at him and raised an enquiring eyebrow at the blonde. She eyed him rather thoughtfully and answered the non-verbal question with “we’ll see.”
She then proceeded to smile charmingly and hold out her hand to him “I’m Buffy Summers, this is Dawn Summers and Faith Lehane,” she pointed out each of her associates.
Aaron’s mind immediately started wondering if the blonde and brunette were related, despite sharing the same last name they looked nothing alike but they still shared the same annoyed glare.
“Yes well, while I’m sure that it would be nice to meet you under different circumstances- you’ll still have to leave.” He made a shooing motion with his hand.
The younger Miss Summers, Dawn, raised an amused eyebrow at him and started to slowly circle the suddenly very still agent. She clucked once she reached his back and called out to the very curvy Faith, “Hey Fai, check it out.”
Two seconds after this, Aaron realized that ‘Fai’ was slowly moving to check out his more physical characteristics and spun around to face the two very widely grinning women.
“Excuse me! This is not behavior appropriate for government employees! You *will* report your employee numbers to me immediately!” unfortunately his threat of retribution just made them grin wider.
Buffy, the blonde in pink who so far had stood witnessing the unfolding scene stepped up to Aaron and placed a dainty arm through his elbow. He tried to shake her off but she was surprisingly strong and held tight, a suspicious twinkle working its way into her eyes.
“I like him,” she declared looking up at the very frustrated Aaron Hotchner, “he’s feisty.”
Aaron looked to the very silent audience in the room for help, they had been witnessing the whole exchange with nary a peep and he was relieved to see the Director working his way through the gathered crowd.
“Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me…” elbows working overtime, the Director pouted and finally snapped at the still unmoving crowd “why are you all standing around like a bunch of buffoons? Sit down!”
The crowd dispersed and the feeling of glee that had come over Aaron at his appearance quickly evaporated as he saw the Director beam fondly at the deranged young women who now had Aaron firmly in their grasp.
“You’ve made it!” the crowd was awed by the very rarely seen smile plastered to the Director’s face.
Buffy turned towards him, still holding on to Aaron who had no choice but to pivot with her.
“Hey John, sorry about the holdup. You know how it is on Tuesdays, “ she smiled widely and Aaron automatically held his breath waiting for the Director to blow up at the casual use of his first name.
“Don’t worry Buffy, I’m sure Dawn’s going to get over her little problem sometime,” now they were actually mutually quipping at each other.
Aaron’s heart skipped a beat and he barely heard the affronted “Hey!” coming from the young brunette to his right.
The Director eyed Aaron who was still being held hostage by the tiny blonde and then killed the last of Aaron’s hopes when he just raised an eyebrow at the scene before him and turned to face the audience.
“May I introduce three of the New Council’s board of Directors,” the crowd sucked in an appreciative breath at the new development and a headache began to form right behind Aaron’s eyes.
The Director pointed to Buffy who finally let go of Aaron. “This is Miss Buffy Summers, she and Miss Faith Lehane are co-directors of the Council’s North American branch.” The blonde waved at the crowd while the brunette slowly licked her lips in anticipation of so many fabulously wound up agents. The Director continued, “And this is Miss Dawn Summers, she is the New Council’s Head of Research and Translations.” The young brunette stepped up from where she was eyeing a very nervous looking Seeley Booth who for some reason was sitting in a Department Head meeting despite being only an agent.
“They will be working closely with several departments to ensure that the New Council and the FBI builds a mutually considerate working relationship for any cases we might share,” the Director beamed at the young women again and took his seat at the front.
Buffy stepped up to the microphone and smiled again for the increasingly happy crowd.
“Hey everyone, we’re part of the New Council Board of Directors and we’re very excited to be given this opportunity to work closely with you. I know that we can definitely learn from each other and build a close working relationship for the future of the FBI and the New Council.”
A bold voice from the back called out “How close a relationship are we talking about?”
Buffy frowned at the innuendo as Faith stepped up to the microphone “Keep talking chuckles, cause I’m pretty sure I can track you down to your floor and show you just what we mean by ‘working relations’ in the most painful way I can.” She winked at the suddenly silent crowd.
Dawn raised her hands in a gesture of supplication “Don’t worry everyone, you treat us with respect and we’ll make sure to keep the threatening and maiming down to the very minimum.” She smiled at the wary Department Heads, obviously very satisfied with her mention of violence and working relationships in the same sentence.
The Deputy Director of the FBI quickly shuffled up the microphone and the three young women stepped away from it, making space for the increasingly nervous man.
“Yes well, let’s all treat each other with the respect we *all* deserve,” Aaron could see him emphasizing this point as much for the Council’s sake as well as for the FBI in the room. The Director coughed and continued “now, have you decided who you will be working with for the first term of your stay with the FBI?”
Faith sidled up to Aaron and purred into his ear “Which unit do you lead, stud?”
The headache was getting progressively worse as Aaron answered “The Behavioral Analysis Unit.”
Buffy beamed and bounced on the balls of her feet, the dress whishing as a flash of golden skin peeked through to appease the men sitting in the front row.
“We’re going to work with them first, Aaron here has been such a welcoming guy that we couldn’t really resist,” the headache was progressing into a full-blown migraine, “just look at that happy face.” Buffy slipped her arm into his elbow again as the room turned incredulous looks at the Head of the BAU who was known for never smiling under any circumstances.
The Director coughed and said “very well then, the New Council will be working with the BAU and we’ll reconvene when it’s time for them to change departments.”
Aaron pinched the bridge of his nose as his new colleagues began to excitedly chatter and wished soundly that he hadn’t gotten out of bed that morning. The team was going to kill him. If the two Summers women and Lehane didn’t do it first, he quickly amended his thought.