Alright This is my first ever fanfic. This idea came to me while I too was battling this same enemy...I'd love it if you guys would review, but I'm not gonna beg. Oh and any errors in grammer and such are my own fault, no one's read through this before now. Well enjoy!
Buffy glared at her enemy. Hands on her hips, she approached it once more from another angle to see if she could figure out a way to defeat it. It sat there, unmoving, sprawled on her sofa.
“GILES!” she yelled into the rest of the house. Giles came out of the dining room, wiping his glasses on a cloth. “Y-yes Buffy? Is something the matter?”
“Why didn’t you ever teach me how to..to..slay that thing?!” She pointed accusingly at the sofa. “ Surely there must be something in one of those musty old books you keep having us pore through! I mean, come on! I just took out an entire nest of Vamps last night! This should be a piece of cake!”
“Ah, well, you see Buffy, that creation is something that very few people alive know how to defeat. Only the great masters have been known to manage it. In fact the last recorded success against it was in the 1960s somewhere in Kansas. Unfortunately, all detailed accounts of the feat were lost in a fire shortly after the victory.” Giles explained in his teacher voice.
“Well, give this person a call! The ‘60s weren’t that long ago! He or she must be alive and kickin’ somewhere!” She pleaded.
Giles sighed, took his glasses off and rubbed his nose. “I hate to say it, but the woman who managed it was killed by a vampire a week after the success. We are on our own this time, Buffy.”
She marched over to the stairs,“WILLOW!” she yelled. “We need some of your mojo! Help!” Willow came running down the stairs. “What’s wrong? Where’s the baddie?!” Buffy pointed to the couch. Willow’s eyes widened at the sight of what was sitting there. “I-I-I don’t think I can do this, Buffy. I think it might be even beyond my which-y mojo...” she trailed off. “OH! But I bet I know someone who knows!” She fled over to the phone, keeping an eye on the couch. “Hello, Methos? We need your help. No, it can’t wait until you’ve finished your beer. We’re at Buffy’s. Yes, that’s fine. We’ll see you in a few minutes.” She hung up. “Methos said he will be here in 15 minutes. If anyone knows how to defeat it, he will.”
“Good thinkin’ Wills.” The three of them sat down in the dining room to wait.
Methos barged into the Summers’ home. “Now will you please tell me what is so bloody important that I couldn’t finish my beer?” He glared at Willow. She bounced up and gave him a hug. “Thank you for coming so quickly, Hon. We..We just don’t know how to handle this. We’ve never had to deal with it before.”
“What is the problem?” Buffy pointed toward the living room. He followed her finger to the enemy sitting on the couch. His face drained of color. “NO. No way am I getting tangled up with...with that thing on the couch. In fact I think I’m going to take a vacation. Willow, baby, how does Bora Bora sound to you?” His eyes pleaded with her to come.
“No, Methos, I just can’t abandon Buffy and Giles like that. I know at some point in your 5000 year existence you must have taken on one of these things, now go be a man, and defeat it. Show us how its done.” Willow gently shoved her lover toward the living room. “I have faith you can do this, Old Man.” He approached the couch slowly, examining the problem from all sides. Carefully he extended his hand, taking hold of it.
From the entry way, the slayer and scoobies watched Methos in action. Willow gasped as he disappeared from view. Buffy reached out and took her hand. “It’ll be alright, Wills. He can do it. Out of all of us, he can do it.” A lot of swearing and grunting and swishing could be heard from the living room for the next 10 minutes, but finally he emerged victorious. Willow ran up, throwing her arms around him. “I knew you could do it! My hero!”
Methos, sweating and out of breath, tossed the enemy at Buffy carefully. “See, Slayer, that’s how you fold a fitted sheet.”