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Never Summon While Drunk

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Summary: Summoning while intoxicated can have some... unforeseen consequences. Good, bad and downright freaky. Various members of the Council find this out the hard way. Formerly a one-shot.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > GeneralIgnotusFR151019,26617619,56130 Nov 0923 Mar 11No

Reprise, Part 2

Notes: And here's a couple more...

Disclaimers: I do not claim any of the characters presented here in any way. All other notes and disclaimers are at the beginning of the story.



Dawn & Ash
…and Xander.




Dawn watched in awe, and a little bit of disgust, as her boyfriend cut through the zombie with his chainsaw hand while simultaneously blowing the head of another with his shotgun. Turning her attention back to the task at hand, she tried the ancient door once more but its huge iron lock was stronger than her at the moment. Throwing herself against the door only resulted in pain and what she knew was going to be a large bruise later on.

“Hurry up, sweet-cheeks! We’re about to have more company over here!” Ash yelled.

Xander came running around the corner of the hallway. “Well thanks for thinking my cheeks are sweet and all but I don’t swing that way.”

“I wasn’t talking to you Cyclops!”

“And now you’ve gone and hurt my feelings.”

Dawn rolled her eyes. She honestly didn’t know if the two liked each other or not. At times, they acted like best buddies and got on like a house on fire (literally one time, though they both said they had absolutely nothing to do with it), and at other times, they were at each others throats trading insults and barbs with enough vitriol that is was like being around Xander and Angel all over again.

“The door’s locked!” She had hoped the two would have been a little more serious considering the three of them were alone and surrounded by a horde of zombies with the only way out being a locked door… oh wait, this was Xander and Ash Williams she was talking about. The more major peril they were in, the less outwardly serious they would get.

“Hold ‘em a moment, will ya?” Xander yelled over the buzzing of the chainsaw. He backed up, battle axe held at the ready in case anything got through Ash’s slaughter range. His back hit the wall near the door and he handed Dawn his axe.

“I hope you’ve got a key or something,” she said.

“Or something.” He smirked and dug through his pockets until, with a little exclamation of delight, he pulled out a long thin metal cylinder with a blue light on top. Dawn, having been in the U.K. long enough to have seen the show, recognised it immediately.

“Xander,” she said in what she thought was a calm manner given the circumstances, “we don’t really have time for this.”

Xander grinned wider, if that was possible. Fiddling with the neck of the device, he pointed it at the lock and pressed the button. A familiar whirring noise filled the air. With a screech and a click, the door opened. Bringing the blue top to his lips, he blew on it theatrically.

Dawn rolled her eyes and yelled for Ash.

Once through the door, they slammed it shut and Xander went around the door’s seam with the whirring sonic screwdriver. Finished, he turned to his two compatriots with a smile on his face. “Dead-lock seal, they’re not opening that door.”

A splintering noise drew their attention back to the door. It was shaking with every very heavy, very solid sounding thump. A small split had already appeared in the centre.

“Of course, it doesn’t stop them from breaking the door apart apparently,” Xander mumbled.

“Don’t worry,” Ash said as they started running again. “I left a little surprise for your necromancer guy when I saw he kept a bunch of very interesting chemicals in his lab.”

They ran down a side passage until they arrived in the back of a mausoleum, leaving the underground city of dead behind. Rushing out into the sunlit cemetery, they were just in time to hear a fantastic explosion. The ground shook and many of the crypts and mausoleums around them fell in on themselves.

Once the dust cleared and the sound died away, Xander surveyed the damage around them. Turning to Ash, he asked, “A ‘little surprise’?”

Ash shrugged. “Okay, maybe it was more a medium sized surprise.”

Dawn mumbled something about ‘men’, and got to her feet with no help from her two companions.



You Know He Does It



“Diana.”

Wonder Woman held back the irritated scowl and accompanying growl that threatened to pop out. Instead, she put a smile on her face as she waited for Bruce to skulk over to her. She rather liked that term in reference to ‘The Batman’. Mostly because, while true, it was so easy to remove one of the k’s and still leave a word that truly described the man. Others might use the term ‘brooding’ instead but she preferred sulk. It seemed more appropriate somehow.

“Yes, Bruce?”

Batman looked at the doorway behind her, which led to one of the Watchtower’s transporters. “You’ve been running off early a lot lately. And when you are here, you seem… distracted. I’m simply curious as to what might’ve caught your attention.”

“I've simply started leaving a bit early and taken up some hobbies. Some others mentioned a while ago, though not to my face, that I seemed to have no personal life with how much time I spend up here.” Diana really wasn't in the mood to share the recent shift in her private life, especially with Bruce, but she had to tell him something.

Batman nodded. “Flash and Jordan? Yes, I overheard them as well. I believe they were also discussing the sort of women I must see in my private life.”

Diana laughed. “Yes, I recall there being mention of ‘Vampirella’.”

“Not my type.”

Diana smirked. “No, you’re more of a cat person, aren’t you?”

There was a small pause as Batman stared at her.

“Good night, Diana.” Turning around, he started back down the hallway.

“Good night, Bruce.”

* * *

He just couldn’t rest easy not knowing if there was something wrong with a team-mate. He’d be no good to anyone if he was constantly wondering if they were compromised in some way. Which is why he followed her to some castle in Scotland; why he watched her land on a balcony and enter a study on the top floor; why he watched her talking with an unknown man and woman seated at a desk with old books strewn about.

Diana was researching something maybe? He was distracted for a moment by thinking about what Diana might be looking into and what other possibilities there might be for her coming here. When he turned back, the man was standing now and Diana had her arms around his neck in a light embrace. And then they kissed. Quite passionately if he was any judge.

Momentarily surprised at the sight of Diana and the man, he almost missed it as the now blouse-less woman who had been sitting at the table before approached the other two. She interrupted the kiss and then… very soundly kissed Diana as well.

Oh hell no. That’s just not fair.

Batman sighed. Still, good for Diana. About time she found something to occupy her time. The irony of him of all people thinking that was completely lost on him.

He really should stop watching now, but… he should also make sure Diana isn’t being controlled or manipulated into doing things against her will first. That’s why he was watching her in the first place.

And of course, that’s the only reason he might set up his surveillance gear as the trio moved into the attached bedroom with the large and conveniently placed window. After all, he still had no idea what was going, so of course it made sense that he would need some more information to reach a conclusion and to make sure nothing bad was happening to Diana.

Yeah. That was the only reason.

* * *

Back in the Batcave, Alfred collected some of the spare parts strewn about the Master Bruce’s workshop table. He was just putting back some of the tools when he noticed some of the tracking and surveillance equipment gone. Wanting to make sure Master Bruce wasn’t over doing it again with his late night stake-outs, he went over to the large bank of computers to check the trackers and the remote feeds of the cameras.

What he saw appear on the screen made him wonder if Master Bruce was spending too much time alone in the dark.

“Miss Diana?” he said in shock. Tilting his head to one side, he blinked at the rather complicated figure the three persons on the screen made together. “Good for you, Miss Diana. You have seemed lonely of late.”

He reached out to the computer console to cut the feed when a particularly loud… occurrence, came through the speakers. Pausing, he quickly hit a different button.

Alfred sat at the terminal to observe the feed was being recorded properly. After all, one never knew, it could all be some sort of elaborate illusion or fake. Or Diana could be under the control someone nefarious. Careful study and analysis of the visuals would be necessary to confirm or deny some sinister motive.

A stray thought flitted through his mind that maybe he was spending too much time alone in the dark as well.



AN: Come on, he hangs around on roof tops, all in black, in the dead of night with a bunch of high tech surveillance gear. What do you think he does?

The End?

You have reached the end of "Never Summon While Drunk" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 23 Mar 11.

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