My Dearest Nicholas
My Dearest Nicholas,
I've always wondered how you survive up there in the North. I'm sure I wouldn't like it all. Nothing to eat but elves and I've heard they're horribly foul-tasting and not at all nutritious.
I'm afraid I have to tell you that I have been a very naughty girl.
(I'm always a very naughty girl.)
But I don't want any coal this year; it burns and I'm not all that fond of burning. I've done it many times and it hurts and quite ruins my clothes. I can throw it at people but they always throw it back, and even after I'm done eating them the stains take forever to wash away and I'm always running out of detergent.
Could you give a bad, bad, naughty little vampire another doll? I've been quite lonely since I lost miss Edith -- and my Spike and my Angel. I keep hoping they'll come back to me but they never will.
An old doll, of course. Not a Barbie with her long hair and strange body. A classic.
Love ever so much,