I'll Be There
Disclaimer: Not mine!
A/N: **Drolly** Once again, all errors are solely mine. If it becomes too painful to bear, please let me know so I can fix the glaring errors.
A/N2: Thanks to my fabulous beta mmooch for all her help. Anyone else willing to become a beta for me? By the by, I would LOVE for someone to create banner art for this story; as I can't, for the life of me, figure out how in the Blue Hell to make banner art for myself! Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? (Try figuring out which movie That one is from... Betcha you won't.)
Ch. 1: I’ll Be There
Don’t be afraid, oh my love
I’ll be watching you from above
And I’d give all the world tonight
To be with you
‘Cause I’m on your side
And I still care
I may have died
But I’ve gone nowhere
Just think of me
I’ll be there
Just think of me
And I’ll be there
Just think of me
I’ll be there
~~I’ll Be There-Escape Club
Over two months had passed since Buffy’s return to Miami. She was now well into her eighth month of pregnancy and in a constant state of discomfort. She was also lacking in her normal Slayer grace.
She spent most of her time in the bathroom nowadays because her two beloved little parasites were pressed against her bladder all the time. She was beyond ready for them to come out and greet the world. Lately, she was having major mood swings due to her raging hormones, and it was causing all of her family and her friends to walk on eggshells around her. Buffy hated how out of whack her body was, but there was nothing she could do about it, so she dealt… But she could definitely give any teenager a run for their money in the ticking hormone bomb category!
She doesn’t remember it being this bad when she was pregnant with Joseph.
Now Buffy liked to believe that she had come a very long way from being the shallow, self-centered airhead she’d been before becoming the Slayer, but there were moments lately when she could see and feel “Shallow Buffy” rearing her vain and vacuous head: like whenever she looked into a mirror and saw just how fat she’s gotten. And that led to the vanity and insecurity, which led to the hormonal overload, which then led to the tears…and during those times, Buffy was damn near inconsolable for hours.
Also, being this far along in her pregnancy meant that Buffy was pretty much restricted to her house, unless she was under a serious, full-on glamour; or when she was accompanied by either Faith and/or Willow; or she had her mini-Slayer entourage. Apparently, being the “Queen Slayer” of the new line of Slayers had major backlash to go with it.
Buffy was now the oldest (and most successful) Slayer in recorded history, so she was number one on the demon community’s ‘Most Wanted’ list. So every evil demon and most vamps were gunning for her, so much so that she now had several decoys of her stationed around the world to throw off the demon community.
And when had the vamps and demons decided to band together to form a frickin’ community?!? By the Goddess, now she’d heard of everything!
Sitting on the bench swing of the second story patio that was connected to her master suite, Buffy watched the almost full moon rising in the Miami night sky.
With the twins impending birth mere weeks away, Buffy found herself thinking once again of Tim, and the melancholy mood threatened to overwhelm her. She still wished – with every fiber of her entire being – that Tim was still alive and here with her.
It wasn’t fair that he wasn’t around to watch his children grow up! Buffy was still supremely pissed off at the ‘Powers That Be’ for giving her true love with an amazing and loving man, only to vindictively snatch it away from her.
When would she get her “Happily ever after”? Hadn’t she sacrificed enough to her calling?! Would the PTB ever tire of screwing with her life?! There was only so much she could take, she thought darkly.
It was true that on most days, she was able to fool most everyone that she was coping well enough. Then again, it was easy enough when her loved ones didn’t want to see how much she was still suffering from the loss of Tim. After all, it had been close to six months since he had died, and she should be ready to come to terms with it…as if that were a possibility!
So, Buffy put on a “happy face” for everyone around her; but it was a façade. She also did it for her baby boy. Joseph needed her to be there, and to be strong, so for his sake, she was.
Though all this left a mark on her soul.
During the daylight hours, it was easier to pretend all was well – especially when she had numerous responsibilities to keep her fully occupied and unable to dwell on her darker thoughts.
But when the night rolled in, it got infinitely harder. The pain and loneliness were almost impossible to ignore when she was lying alone in the bed they had shared, knowing that he wouldn’t be there to hold her safe in his arms while they talked quietly about their respective days or of their hopes and dreams for the future.
Sometimes, it was all Buffy could do to keep from breaking down in body and soul. It was the biggest reason she tried to avoid sleeping for as long as possible every night.
With the metaphorical thunderclouds of pain and despair swirling around his love, he watches as she prepares for bed – waiting patiently for her to succumb to Morpheus’ charms – before emerging from the shadows of the bedroom.
A deep, throbbing ache fills Tim’s chest as he sits on the edge of their bed watching as Buffy sleeps. He shouldn’t be here and he knows it, and yet he can’t help himself. She is his addiction, and he needs his fix. It’s a dangerous game he plays, and sooner or later Tim will have to pay the piper, but until that time comes, he will continue keeping his silent vigil at her side, mourning all he has lost.
Seeing her belly swollen with child is a beautiful and gratifying sight for Tim, and he marvels at how much more her beauty is amped up because of it. She glows with an inner light, like one of God’s angels.
As he keeps watch, Buffy becomes restless. Soon she is whimpering and crying in her sleep. Unthinking, he lifts up the covers and slides into bed with her, taking her into his arms so he can comfort her. Gently he strokes her silken hair, which feels as warm as the sunshine it takes its color from. Before too long, her movements start to calm and she sighs- murmuring his name in sleep- as Tim continues to hold Buffy, he curses himself for his weakness.
It hurts! It just plain hurts... more than he can bear, knowing that he has to let her go when the sun rises. Otherwise he runs the risk of being discovered, and a huge part of him wants to be discovered, but he knows it’s not fair to Buffy. If she knows he is hanging around, she won’t move on with her life. So, he only visits late at night, when she sleeps, as he had promised himself.
Hours pass, and Tim can see the faint apricot glow signifying the approaching sunrise. Reluctantly, he releases Buffy and slides out of bed. Bending down for one last kiss, but before he goes, he whispers, “I love you”.
He is shocked when she replies in her sleep, “Stay with me.” Denying the urge to do as she requests, Tim backs away from the bed, drinking in the sight of her before disappearing into the shadows.
Opening her eyes, Buffy looks around the room, searching for Tim, disappointed to find herself alone. With her Slayer senses, she can smell his unique scent lingering in the air. He thinks she is unaware of his visits, but she knows… she feels him, always. It is an instinctual gut reaction of the Slayer part of her recognizing its mate. There will come a night when she will catch him during his nocturnal visits, but until then she tries to move forward with her life.