Disclaimer: Disclaimer: BTVS doesn't belong to me, it's Joss Whendon's baby as is Angel. I don't own X-Men or the concept of mutants that's Marvel's baby. I just own this story but I don't have any money so sue someone else.
I'm a freak. I know just putting that out there like that seems odd but I'm really a freak. Or as they call them now mutant, not that mutant is very far away from freak. It really is funny how I found out. I had been travelling for at least a month only stopping for gas and food - I had left because they told me to go. Well they had told me they'd kill me if I didn't go is more like it. Let's start when this all began, shall we? I had been patrolling by myself ever since Buffy and the gang had started to ignore me, so I would grab a few stakes and a cross and head towards the nearest cemetery just to prove to myself that I was worth a damn. The night started off slow only one vamp staked and it wasn't anything more then a newbie, but a few minutes after I staked it my luck ran out and his sire came to play. Harmony didn't look pleased that I had staked her little boy but why should I care? We ignore her cause well she's just so pathetic, kind of like Spike but at least he helps. "So Harm sorry about stakeing your newest reject...oh wait I'm not sorry." She looked pissed and at the same time she looked like she was checking me out which just freaked me out to no ends. She stalked nearer to the young slayerette enjoying the looked of fear that had spread across Xander's handsome face.
"Now why'd you have to go and stake my boyfriend like that, it really wasn't very nice of you. I think your going to have to make it up to me." A sickening smirk appeared on her face just as she vamped out. //What the hells going on? She's a laughable vampire so why's she acting super evil all of a sudden and why does she keep looking at me like that?// Xander knowing something in the vamp before him had changed reached for his cross only to find it missing. //Damn, I most have lost it when I was struggling with that vamp//. Xander nervously began to back away, "Um...so Harm how's the vampire thing working out for you?" It really was a stupid line but he couldn't think well right now enough to come up with anything better. With out warning Harmony lunged for Xander and easily caught him by the hair and slammed her fist into his face knocking him out. She then picked up the still figure of the young man and slung him across her shoulder and began to make her way back to her lair.
He woke up soon after to find him self tied to a large wooden stretcher. //Serves me right, I should have taken the gang's advice I'm a nobody with no training or super powers.// He then closed his eyes and remembered the conversation that they had not long before they had kicked him out. Xander stood between Willow and Buffy as they argued about who's powers were better and what they had to do about Adam. "Buff... Wills, there's no need to fight we all help."
That's when Buffy turned to him with a cruel smirk on her face, "How could you ever help?" Then both Willow and Buffy had turned on him and began to belittle him about being the one with no powers in this little group.
Xander shut his eyes harder trying to force the memories out of his mind but they just wouldn't go. That's when he heard footsteps, he couldn't really see very well being tied down facing up and all but he could make out was blond hair. //God I don't wont to hear Buff right now, I can just hear it now. What were you thinking going patrolling by your self or were you thinking at all? You're not the slayer, your nobody just stay home and leave the slaying to the real heroes and not people that just get in the way like you!//
But it wasn't Buffy that was making her way towards him it was Harmony. "How's my 'lil Xanderbear doing, I hope I didn't hurt you...much." Great I'm tied down with a crazied vampire cheerleader, how much more could my life suck. She then began to slide her hands from his legs towards his well more manly parts.
"WOW, what the hell are you doing, Harm? You should be like biting me not feeling me up!"
She then drew her hands away from his body and viciously struck him across the face. "Just be a good boy and everything will be ok, I might even keep you around for seconds if you're lucky."
Xander's mind was running a mile a minute - she isn't going to do what he thinks she is, is she? //She's going to rape me! Of all the bad things that I've thought would happen to me if I was captured by vampires this was not on the list!// Xander did the only thing that came to mind, which wasn't the best idea...he spat in her face.
She was pissed and not just a little bit she was looking almost Angelus pissed off here. "You're going to pay for that, loser! If you had only let me have some fun I would have turned you and made you my boytoy but oh no you had to go off and do something like spit in my face, this is going to hurt you a hell of a lot more then it's going to hurt me!"
She then walked away leaving Xander all alone but that didn't last for long. She returned with what looked like his hand full of stakes and a hammer. //Not good!// Without uttering a word she grabbed the nearest stake and began to drive it through his right hand! She then did the same to his left hand and his ankles, he was pinned to the stretcher bleeding from his wounds. Xander couldn't think anymore, after the first stake entered his flesh all he could think about was the pain. It was excruciating, his screams filled the warehouse and their only companion were Harmony's almost manic fits of laughter. After Harm was done she grabbed the first stake she had driven into him and mercilessly ripped it away. Then she witnessed the strangest thing she'd seen in her after life, Xander's wound was healing almost as soon as the stake left his skin. But that wasn't the only thing that was happening all of a sudden Xander's arm broke the restraints and grabbed Harmony by the neck and started to crush it. Harm couldn't even let out a scream of surprise or pain as he crushed her neck, he was even stronger then Spike had been as he often would strangle her for the perverse pleasure of watching her suffer.
Xander's other arm as well as his legs also broke free and with one swift move he ripped the stake from his left hand and drove it threw Harmony's right eyelid. He then removed the other stakes still not in control of himself, only thinking about the pain, and jumped on Harmony ripping and shredding her apart with his hands and teeth. His teeth had changed as well, the tip and bottom canine's had grown larger almost as long as a vampires were. He had dusted her long before he regained control of him self, Xander then looked down at his hands which had completely healed then he reached into his mouth and felt his larger sharper teeth. He did the only thing he could have, he ran. He didn't even realize he was moving faster then he'd ever been able to before. The night was full of sounds and smells that he hadn't felt since he'd be controlled by that hyena spirit, he prayed that wasn't the case this time. It couldn't be he was still himself not some animal in a Xander suit like last time, but he still felt different. Maybe thirty feet from him stood Riley Finn who had heard him screaming as he did his nightly patrol. He hadn't been in any hurry to get to him when he was screaming but he had witnessed what Xander had done to the vampire and knew what he had to be.
"A filthy mutant."
Riley then drew out his walkie-talkie and spoke into it, "This is agent Finn we have a mutant sighting please send in the X-Factor, the suspected mutant's name is Alexander Harris."
Xander didn't know what to do he just ran as fast as he could back to his home/basement. He still didn't understand what had happened to him or how he had gotten away from Harmony. He walked over to the sink and looked into the mirror everything looked normal besides the large fangs in his mouth. But that's when he felt the pain. It was excruciating, there were no words for how much he hurt. He dropped to the ground hard slamming his head against the hard wood floor but that was nothing compared to the pain that was shooting through his body. Xander could hear the bones in his body snapping and re-knitting back together larger and stronger only to snap again in a few moments. His muscles were twisting and tearing themselves apart but like his bones there were also growing larger and stronger. His body shook violently his spine twisting in a painful arc and his arms and legs were flinging in all directions slamming into the nearby walls and sink shattering them with the simplest smack. The pain was so intense he had forgotten to even scream as it went on but he soon remembers and opened his mouth but it wasn't a scream that was released. No, it was an animalistic roar as if it had escaped the mouth of a panther or lion.
The pain was just too intense and he soon lost consciousness. When he woke up he felt different but didn't know just how much he was. He raised himself until he was sitting and looked at his body, he had thought that it would be torn apart from what ever happened to him but it was torn but it was different...changed. His body had become huge in size; his arms were filled with new and freakishly large muscles. His legs were the same larger and ripped with huge muscles, his clothing was what had ripped, as were his shoes. When he looked down at his feet they were as unnaturally large as the rest of his body but his toenails had become claw like and looked sharp. He reached out to touch his changed body and that's when he saw his hands, they too had become larger and also had claws where his fingernails should be...he was a monster. He crawled onto his feet and turned to look in the mirror, but to his surprise it wasn't there. Well it was there but he was looking in front of himself. The mirror was put in so that it was be at eye level with him but now it wasn't there, in fact to was almost two feet beneath him. To his surprise he had grown to at least 7'3" or maybe even bigger. So he crouched down so that he could see into the mirror but the face that welcomed him was not his own.
His teeth last night had been larger then normal but not like they were now, they were much larger even bigger then a vampire's. His hair had changed as well - it used to be a dark shade of brown and cut short because of his construction job but now it had turned solid black and had grown much longer. His hair now reached to the small of his back, which was at least 3'6" from the top of his head. But that wasn't the only difference. His eyes, once a rich brown were now as black as his hair, maybe even more so. Xander didn't know what to do or think he looked as if he was possessed by a lion spirit or something but he was still himself, in a fit of anger he slammed his clawed hands onto the sides of the sink and it shattered into about fifty pieces. He hadn't even tried but still he had crushed the sink, he was amazed at how strong he had become. He walked over to his couch and with one hand lifted it and he still wasn't even trying hard. //Got to go see Giles, he'll know what happened to me//. But he couldn't go out now it was still day light and people would notice the large lionman walking down the street and I don't I'd fit in my car. And another reason was his clothing was ripped and shredded and he wasn't about to go outside half naked //speaking of naked// he then looked around to make sure so one was looking and unzipped his pants and took a look at his...well you know.
Night had come and Xander took off into it still without anything to wear besides ripped up clothing, he couldn't find anything that would fit him. He was walking down main street in Sunnydale when he saw a Big & Tall outlet store. //Well I guess that's me now.// So he walked over only to find that it had been locked up tight. He kicked the door right off the frame and walked in, he found some black leather pants and some black hiking boots as well as a large dark blue silk shirt. He picked out a piece of paper and jotted down a apology about the door and left about two hundred dollars for the clothing he took. On his way out he saw a large black duster and thought //what the hell, if I'm going out why not look good doing it// he grabbed the duster and walked out towards Giles' house. He could hear people speaking threw the door and could make out Giles', Willow's,Tara's, and Buffy's voices. He opened the door and walked in quietly, the first to notice him was Tara who let out a loud scream. Buffy being the slay happy girl she is grabbed her stake and headed right for him, she drew back the weapon and attempted to drive it threw his heart. Xander only acting on instinct moved faster then her and slammed his fist into her stomach, she went down for the count. He then looked towards the others who all had scared faces, "Um hi guys I was wondering if you could help me out with something?"
It took him about half an hour to explain what had happened the night before, they all kept quiet and listened to everything he had to say. Buffy was still passed out and Giles had laid her down in the back room.
Willow who had been staring at him then turned to Giles, "Do you think he could be like possessed or something?"
Giles removed his glasses and started to clean them like he always did when he didn't understand something. "I don't see how he could be, he's still Xander just...bigger and with fangs and claws."
Willow and Giles had been sitting far away from him but Tara had decided to sit right next to him. She kept poking his arm like a small child who had been given a puppy - she was just as fascinated by this she didn't even think to explain about mutants. Well Giles was researching his books and Willow was using a few spells to see if she could turn his back, nothing was working. A few hours later Giles was still researching but Willow had given up on the magic and went home, Tara had fallen asleep next to Xander and was snuggling up with him like he was a pet that would sleep at the foot of your bed at night. Buffy woke up soon after that muttering something about a truck hitting her in the ribs when she saw the creature who had attacked her sitting on the couch with Tara's unconscious from next to him.
She, being dumb, grabbed her stake once again and threw it like a knife right for him, it sank deep into his forearm and he let out an anger filled roar that shook the whole house.
"Buffy, it's Xander don't attack him!"
She had made it all the way over to him when Giles words sunk into her head she turned to looked at him and missed the uppercut that Xander sent her way. She was hit so hard that she did a whole 360 in mid-air before hitting the ground hard. Giles ran over to Buffy's once again unconscious from, Tara looked at Xanders injured arm and watch in amazement as he withdrew the stack and his wound healed in a matter of seconds.
"Xander, would you please not do that again?"
Xander gave Giles a childish pout, "She started it."
After Buffy woke up the second time Giles explained to her what had happened as wasn't able to talk with her jaw being broken and all but she nodded to him that she understood. Tara took this time to explain about what she had heard about mutants on the Internet, them being the next stage in humen evolution and all. The next day Willow, Buffy, and Tara were sitting at the their favorite table in the lunch room.
"So is there anything we can do about Xander?" Willow asked Tara since she seemed to know more about it then they did.
"No, he was born like that so he can't change back. Just like Buffy can't help being the slayer."
Buffy who was still pissed at having her ass handed to her by the *weak-link* of the group just sent an angry glare towards the shy Wiccan.
"Well I think its cute, its like having a real live teddy bear."
Willow pecked her girlfriend on the cheek and said, "Just remember real live teddy bears bite, and he looks more like a panther or lion."
On the other side of town in the Harris basement Xander was trying to explain to Anya why they couldn't see each other anymore, "I want you to have a normal life and dating a freak of nature isn't on the to do list for that."
Anya just kept arguing with him, "Can't we at least have break up sex cause if everything has grown shouldn't the little soldier be more like King Kong?"
Xander, never being one to turn down sex, did just as she asked, Anya left that basement with a smile that wouldn't leave her face for at least a month. Xander lay back and got ready to sleep but that's when the soldiers lead by Riley Finn busted into his room firing their blasting guns. Xander reacted faster then any mere human could ever hope to and attacked them with claws and teeth first. He killed at least thirteen before he knew what he had done, he looked down at his blood covered hands and forgot all about Riley and the other four soldiers that had gotten away. They all fired their weapons at the same time straight at his huge chest. Xander fell to the ground but before he passed out he saw Riley standing above him, "Filthy murdering freak!" he then slammed his boot into Xander's face knocking him out.
When I opened my eyes all I could see was black. I couldn't move nor speak and the only thing I felt was the cold. This is how I learned the drawbacks of animal senses; I don't do very good isolated. With no sense of smell and no sound I was slowly losing my mind. I don't know when the door was opened and the room was filled with guards all pointing their guns at me, but for my very sanity it couldn't have been a moment too late. Once the guards were sure I wasn't going to attack anyone they signaled that it was alright for the doctor to enter. I'm using the word "doctor" loosely, the man's more like a fiend. He was a tall man maybe 6'1, not that it matters now that I can pass for a basketball player. He was in his late forties and had short gray hair and icy cold blue eyes.
"Welcome Mr. Harris, I'm so glad to meet you."
I may have let out a low growl but all it seemed to do was make the man smirk.
"Did you know Mr. Harris that your mutation is one of the rarest in the whole world? They've only been two others recorded since this program was first invented in the 1950s." He then began to walk towards me and with the look in his eyes I thought he was going to dissect me right there, but he stopped a few feet away. The guards still had their weapons pointed at my chest ready to fire if I made the slightest move towards the doctor. "Where are my manners? I forgot to introduce myself. I am Doctor Edward Stark and I will be your doctor for the remainder of your stay."
I had been sitting down during all of his explanations until he said I was staying here. That's when I stood up and towered over him and every other mad in the cell. "Sorry doc, I don't plan on staying." At that moment I was ready to pounce but I never got the chance. The guards all opened fire before I had the chance to spring on the doc.
I was surprised that bullets weren't what hit me, but electricity. It wasn't enough to kill me, not that bullets did the job last time, but it was enough to bring me down.
With a cruel smirk on his face Dr. Stark began to speak once again, "I'm sorry Mr. Harris but you don't seem to have a choice in the matter. Now I'm going to leave you here until morning and I do hope you rest up because we will start the testing bright and early at 8:00am."
He then turned to leave but before he reached the door he told the guards to fire on me once again just for good measure. I passed out after maybe five minutes of them frying me with those damn zap guns! It sickens me to admit it but it was better them shooting me then leaving me in this god-forsaken room! There were no sounds or smells to distract me from what I had done. I killed people. I broke the first rule of being a Scooby.
I know I could say it was instinct. Or that common sense would be enough to tell me to attack at the sight of over a dozen armed men entering my home with their guns aimed at me. But common sense and instinct do me no good now. The simple fact that I took the lives of... I can't even remember how many I killed and that is enough to feel dirty. At first I wonted to fool myself thinking that I could be a super hero like Buffy saving the world from the baddies, but I can't now. I know the truth now and it comes to me like a lightning strike, "I'm a killer." What right do I have to leave? What right do I have to be among normal people? I belong here and whatever their going to do to me is more then likely what I deserve. Maybe with any luck they will just kill me and get it over with because if I have to stay in this fucking room one more second I'm going to fucking rip someone's throat out! I let out one of my lion-like roars and launch myself towards the doors only to find that even with my strength I still can't so much as move them.
Thoughts of self-pity and suicide are soon forgotten when dealing with the cold, numb, and sterile room that is my prison. God why is this so hard? It's only a room and I know for sure before I became the freak that I am now that it wouldn't have been so bad. It's these senses! They've been in hyper- drive ever since I changed, but they were well enough under control, but now here! I need to hear something besides the beat of my own heart and my breathing. Hours pass and they could very well be days for all I know - I'm slowly going mad. I began to claw at my clothing a while back and by now my shirt is nothing more the ribbons. At times I've almost slipped back into the red hot rage that over come me the moment those commandos entered my room but the thought of Tara calling me a big teddy bear held them at bay. She seems to be the only real friend I have anymore. Willow kept trying to use her magic on me to turn me back and kept muttering under her breath so quietly that if I hadn't super hearing I would have missed it - that if I wasn't such a freak she could change me back. And good old Buffy kept looking at me like some kind of demon to slay, but the two haymakers I gave her might have a lot to do with that.
When Dr. Stark entered Mr. Harris's cell he was happy to find the young mutant so far out of it that he posed no danger... for the moment. He called the guards and nurses in to strap him in a gurney and take him to the operating room for the first stage in testing.
Once held down in reinforced metal clamps Dr. Stark whispered into the young mutant's ear, "Now Mr. Harris we will see if like the other two ferals you possess a healing factor. And if you do then the real fun can begin."
He then walked over to his tray and picked up a large syringe and a bottle containing a blue liquid. Once he had the syringe filled he injected it into Mr. Harris's left arm.
Down the hall agent Finn was complaining that he wanted to be present for the freak's testing. "That fucking bastard killed a hell of a lot of my men and I want to make sure the worthless fuck suffers!" But soon after animal like screaming was heard from the back labs so high that passers by above ground could make it out. With a smug smile on his face agent Finn said, "Never mind I'll take your word for it."
Things changed a great deal once Dr. Stark was done with his first round of testing. I was moved to The Compound a few hours later; I was still weak so it was easier to move me. A lot of things changed there and nothing more then myself. The Compound was where they sent the captured mutants. I watch helplessly as men, women, and children are herded into the lower levels like lambs to the slaughter. It hurts so much because they don't know; they don't know there being lead to a place that breeds nightmares. They're not all going to die just some of them - the old, the young, and the weak. A few will be preserved like myself, those who are "useful". I spend another few hours in Dr. Stark's lab today. He still can't understand how my healing factor works, but he knows enough to make one of his disturbing smirks appear. What he does to me would be enough to kill any normal person, but he holds of finishing me. I'm still "useful".
There's a closed off field in the back of The Compound where we're kept. They wouldn't let us out into it without a collar. It turns off our powers so we can't use them against the guards. I still have my fangs and claws, but if the guards shot me I'd die like any other man. I don't know how so many people can be marched into The Compound. Someone most miss us? Then I think we're mutants and who would care if a few of us went missing. I watch behind one of the gates they keep us behind as they drop off another group of mutants. An old woman carrying her grandchild catches my eye. The girl can't be more then four years old as she clings to her grandma. She's green and has scales but she's still a little girl. Just because she's different doesn't make her any less of a baby! It's winter now and unlike Sunnydale it gets cold here. The grounds covered in snow yet those people are still marched in.
The old woman's frail and can't keep up with the others and carry the little girl. One of the guards come over and takes the girl from the old woman's arms and throws her a few yards away. She lands in the snow beside the bodies of the others who couldn't keep up with the group. They care so little about us that they don't even have the kindness to bury the dead. I turn away now - I can't bear to watch the girl scream out for her grandma. She tries to get up and run after her but its cold, so very cold and she's so young she trips and falls soon off. She cries out for her nanny but the guards won't let the old women go back for her. She cries out for help but there's no one that can help her here, no one. Even if we wanted to the guards would shot us down even if we were "useful". I can't bear to watch as she gives up and lies down on the cold ground, but she still cries out. When I'm alone at night I can still hear the crying from her and from people just like her.
Once the crying has stopped I some how find the courage to look at her. She's not moving any more and all I can think is how lucky she is. Lucky that she wouldn't have to go into The Compound with the rest of us. Lucky that she would be spared from the labs and the doctors. Those are things I wouldn't inflect on my worst enemy let alone a small child. Her soul has left her body and now she's free. Sometimes I wish I were so lucky. When I can no longer stare at her still body I look at the snow. I have to be like the snow. It feels no pain. It feels no guilt. It's just cold. Slowly I am becoming just like it. Cold, so very, very cold.
I wish I were in Sunnydale. Of course I wish that, but not for the reasons you'd think. In Sunnydale people died every day, but because of the Hellmouth its over looked. I found out not so long again that The Compound is in Ohio. What's Ohio's excuse for the deaths of dozens of people? Do they have a Hellmouth too? But I'm not as naive anymore to believe such a thing. People are dying by the handful for the simple fact that no one cares. I haven't talked to a lot of the inmates, not that I talk a lot to begin with. There are no chatterboxes in here, but I hear them talk. And I hear what the guards call us. They call us monsters and freaks, but do we send people into places like this where they'll be experimented on? Do we turn a blind eye as children are murdered? Humans are the monsters. They're as evil as anything in hell. That's why I don't hate myself and what I've become anymore. For no matter how bad I am and what I've done... at least I'm not human.
They became bored with my suffering in the isolation cell so they moved me into a normal one. The Compound has become crowded so I soon had a roommate. He was thirteen years old. He didn't have dangerous power like mine or a god- like power like others; all he had were orange eyes. His only crime was that his eyes weren't normal. He was a sweet kid; always tried to lift my spirit even when his heart was broken from missing his family. I still remember the day he died. I try and remember all the days that people died because as long as I am alive they'll never be forgotten. I had been here for a while and knew to watch out for the kid, but I can't be everywhere at once. One day I was in the lab for many hours going through their tests and surgeries that I didn't see him all day. On my way back to my ceil I found him laying on the ground in one of the back halls beaten and nude where one of the guards had left him once he'd had his fun.
I tried to help the kid after he'd been rap... after he'd been hurt. He wasn't the same after that; he'd lost that spark of hope that was always in those orange eyes of his. There's a no-man's land around the far walls that surround the field. He took my hand and told me goodbye before he walked towards those far walls. I didn't even try and stop him. What could I have told him? That it would get better? I wasn't going to lie to him. The guards shouted for him to back away before they opened fire. He didn't cry out and for that I thank him; I can't go on with another cry filling my nightmares waking me in a cold sweat I already have enough.
We were kept in separate cell blacks, the men and women. Some of the men turned to each other for comfort. I didn't but I can understand why they did. They wanted to be with someone when death was so close you could fill his icy hand on your shoulder. Not that we never saw the women because we did in the field. Some were all right, but others wore blackened eyes, cuts, and bruises. The guards it seems didn't just take out their perversions on out young boys, but on mothers, daughters, and sisters as well. It wasn't just because they were attractive even if that helped catch their eye; they did it to show who really had the power in the world. I'm thankful that with out shaving my face and with my fangs and claws I look more like an animal then a man. I'm thankful I wasn't pretty enough to catch any of the guards' eyes.
I wasn't surprised months into this that Buffy never came and saved me. I don't doubt the soldiers that grabbed me gave out some excuse to fool anyone that asked; that is if anyone even noticed I was gone. Maybe Tara. The day I was set free and shown what I needed to do with my life came almost eleven months after I was first captured. That's the day I met Magneto and joined The Brotherhood. We burned down The Compound with most of the guards and doctors still locked inside. Dr. Stark I took care of myself. As I watched it burn I thought of two things only. Not that I missed my former friends. Not that I missed the humanity that was wiped away from me in there. I thought the words, "NEVER AGAIN!!!"
I'd never stand by and let this happen to anyone again. And how thankful I was above all else, "At least I'm not human."