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Hatten's little ficlet collection

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Ficlet(s)

Summary: into this file I will put all the small things I have written.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy > Xander-Centered
Multiple Crossings > Spike-Centered
JCHattenFR15116,22801210,28221 Dec 0927 Jan 10No

Payback of Vampires

Payback of Vampires
Author: John "Hatten" Carlsson
Beta: Hawklan
Disclaimer: Ahh you should all know it by now, I don’t own BTVS, J. Whedon does.
Song Fic : Just A Gigolo by David Lee Roth

------------------------------------------------------------------------
A scream echoed in the Magic Box, "Giles, Giles hurry up," Buffy yelled with a frown on her face.

Giles cleaned his glasses, "I'm coming," he said. "Do you know what is going on?"

Buffy shook her head, "No, just that Angel said it's about him, Xander and Spike."

"I see, and he wanted us all to come?" Giles asked

Willow nodded, "Yeah, they said something about having a soul or playing with a soul."

"What, Blues?" Dawn said.

Giles frowned and said, "I really don't think so."

*

The group entered the graveyard, it was a dark place. Suddenly three shapes with glowing golden eyes stood up on a large shrine.

"It's Spike and Angel. And Xander, he is a vampire," Buffy’s voice was filled with sadness as she said the last part.

Then suddenly a few spotlights turned on, Angel started to play his guitar and Spike the drums.

Dawn had only time to say one thing before Xander started to sing. "What? Are they possessed?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just a Vampire
everywhere I go
people fear the part
I'm playing
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Faith blinked then blinked again, "If they have a soul it must be evil."

Giles nodded, "Quite."

"That is so cool," Dawn piped in.

Everybody stared at Dawn.

Willow said, "That music is so 80'es."

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paid for drops of blood
dodging the Slayer’s stakes
every night some heart
is dusted
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Spike stood up suddenly and started to dance to the music.

Giles shouted, "Oh no, Spike has started to dance, Eeeeee"

Buffy started do drool. "Shake them Baby."

Faith gagged and said,"----------- No, I think my eyes hurts."

------------------------------------------------------------------------
There will come a time when
the Soul will pass away
then what will they say
about me?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Xander, feeling the music, started to strip as he sang.

Here Faith started to drool, "hubbauba lagaga"

Dawn yelled in amazement, "Look at the size of that thing."

Giles cleaned his glasses, "He certainly doesn’t need a stake."

Willow fainted in fear or lust. Who knows?

------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the end comes I know
they'll say just a Vampire
as life goes on without me
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oz asked, "Hmmm, Is that Dru?"

On the other side of the shrine, Dru and other female Vampires came forward, dressed in harem dresses and all started to dance to the music.

Giles smiled as he looked at the dancing half nude vamp girls, "Well if this is a trap, it's a bloody fun way to go."

------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Cause I ain’t got nobody
nobody, nobody cares for me
I'm so sad and lonely
sad and lonely sad and lonely
Won't some sweet Slayer
come and take a chance with me
cause I ain’t so bad
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Faith said drooling, "Oh yeah, evil or not they make a good substitute for a vibrator."

Joyce nodded and added, "I agree and you can always dust them off afterwards."

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Get along with me babe,
been hunting lovely girls
All of the time
Even only be, honey only, only be
Bop bozadee bozadee bop zitty bop
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dawn started to take photos, "Remember boys, I’ll be of legal age soon or I can move somewhere else, where I'm legal now."

------------------------------------------------------------------------
I ain't got nobody 'cept the love of blood
Hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla boobuhla
hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla bop
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buffy yelled, "Dawn, don't steal my boys."

Faith yelled back at Buffy, "Your boys? No way. Dawn, like to share one or two?"

Joyce yelled at Buffy also, "Buffy, don't be greedy."

------------------------------------------------------------------------
I ain't got nobody, nobody,
nobody cares for me
nobody , nobody
I'm so sad and lonely,
sad and lonely,
sad and lonely,
Won't some sweet Slayer come
and take a chance with me?
cause I ain’t so bad
------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't think that is...is..." Giles stopped and forgot what he was about to say as Dru started to caress his body.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Get along with me babe,
been singing love songs
All of the time
Even only be, honey only, only be
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Faith and Dawn jumped and grabbed Xander, "I'm keeping him," they yelled as they ran away.

Angel and Spike just smiled as Buffy carried them away, "Dam it, the Poof was right," Spike mutters as they disappeared into the night.

"Hmmm, what about me?" Oz wondered as he saw how Willow was carried away by Tara the vampire. Then a small bark was heard and he looked down to a see a hopeful Lassie. "Well I’m a werewolf," and the odd couple disappeared into the darkness.

The End...
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