Lost in You
Mornin’ all, first of all, if there are any typos in this I blame my non-properly caffeinated brain and clunky, unresponsive fingers. Now, *coughs* that we have a good excuse in place, here it is, the last chapter. It’s an epilogue if you will and I’m fairly satisfied with how it’s ended. It’s been a lot of fun playing with each character from each show and messing the OC’s that I have made. I thank everyone for their time, reading and commenting or just reading. There was a reader that asked for a prequel to One Last Shot, the beginnings of Buffy in New York and perhaps the decisions leading up to her choosing New York. The argument I’ve heard is that leaving the Scoobs isn’t something that she would do. I wasn’t so sure. So this universe sorta got created. I am working on a few side projects not related to the Buffy Verse, but my beta people and myself feel that revisiting this wouldn’t be a bad thing. Maybe one day I’ll do the prequel.
Again, thanks yinz guys and take care!
W.Chapter 21 – Lost in You
I look back in the mirror and wonder for the seventh bazillion time if I have the something borrowed, something new, something blue thing. The blue is covered in the embroidered garter belt that Alex got me claiming me property of the N.Y.P.D. Oh! And it’s the new thingy in the rhyme too. The borrowed and old is the necklace that I’m wearing that belongs to Debra.
I can do this. I can not be a spaz.
“Will, quit with the worrying. You look gorgeous,” Xander smirks at me from the doorway. I spin to face him, standing there in his tux. He looks so Bond like with the eye patch and cummerbund.
“Why do I feel like I’m going to pass out?” I whimper as he steps into the room, strides over and grasps me by my exposed shoulders.
“Because you’re marrying our high school crush.” He smirks and wags his finger at me. “Which, by the way, how does that work? How do you get the girl?”
I shrug and offer a lame, “Uh, I look better in heels than you?”
He shakes his head and says, “Hey, you haven’t seen me in two inch spike heels. Trust me; I’ve got legs that go on for days.”
My mouth drops open a little bit at his revelation and he, finally realizing what he said, clamps a hand over his mouth. I narrow my eyes and warn, “Alexander Lavelle Harris, you’ve been holding out on me!”
His face is redder than my hair as he shakes his head, his hands still over his mouth.
My hands go to my hips and I tap my foot. “Xander!”
His hands drop and he pleads, “Just, no, don’t ask. I’m not telling you.”
Poking him the chest, I joke, “We’ll see if you stick to that tune when I have some tequila in you.”
“Feel better?” he asks smiling at me.
I reflect for a second and notice that I’m a little calmer and the salad I had for lunch isn’t going to make a reappearance. “Better. Thank you.”
“Hey what are best buds for.” He slings an arm over my shoulders and looks at his watch. “Now, we have a few moments and normally I would leave you alone to collect yourself, but…I’m not taking the risk of you bolting. So, I’m stuck to you like glue on a fat kids tongue.”
Where…oh where does he come up with some of his jokes…Instead of asking that, I wiggle my eyebrows at him and tease, “So, you. Faith. When are you going to make an honest woman out of her?”
He blanches and backs away. Rubbing the back of his neck, he says, “Will, you know Faith. This is as honest as she’s gonna get.”
“You asked and she shot you down?” I guess.
He nods and I pat his back. “She really isn’t the marriage type.”
“She shares my bed, we have fifty percent of our D.N.A. combined in a very rambunctious child that looks like a miniature her, but has the grace of a miniature me. It’s all we can really hope for.” He glances at his watch and takes my hand. “Alright Will, it’s go time. You ready?”
I shake my head.
“Too bad,” he says and drags me out the door to the entrance of the garden. I blink against the bright sun that shines down on the garden that’s holding our ceremony. We both know it isn’t legal in the strictest sense, but both of us need this tradition. I breathe deep and look around at the guests assembled. It’s a relatively small gathering, but all of the people that we could want are here.
My parents aren’t…but, that shouldn’t shock me. I just thought they would make an effort to see me get married. It’s only gonna happen this once. Sighing I shake it off and take Xander’s arm. He leans down and whispers in my ear, “Will, you do know I’m hunting down your mom and dad and letting Faith beat them up when we leave here tomorrow, right?”
I grin up at him and nod. “I love you, Xander.”
“Love you too Will. Now,” he says and clears his throat, “Let’s get you hitched to the woman of your dreams and my occasional masturbatory fantasy.”
I pinch his side and he yelps. “Right,” he squeaks, “forget I mentioned that.”
“I’m telling Faith,” I growl.
I take one last look at the people around me and at Giles standing facing them. The wicker arch he’s standing under has vine woven through it and roses in bloom. Orchids and lilies line the aisle and the band strikes up the traditional wedding march.
Xander pats my arm and we put one foot in front of the other to start the longest walk of my life.
As we get to the front, Giles smiles at me and I can’t help but return the grin. Xander and I turn and face the audience and I see Buffy filling the entrance I was just at. A grin, wide and cheesy oogles my wife to be in her dress. When Olivia described it to me, she said slinky. She was right. It hugs her curves and leaves just the right amount of fabric in the best spots so I can imagine what it’s going to be like when I peel it off of her tonight.
Jimmy enters from her left and they link arms. I watch him lean down and whisper something in her ear. Even from here, I see the blush tint her face. Slowly, the music starts and they walk towards me.
The closer they get the calmer I get. This is exactly where I need to be. They finally make it to me and I watch as she turns to Jimmy and kisses him on the cheek. He reddens and then takes his spot opposite Xander.
She holds her hand out to me and greedily, I take it.
Olivia’s hand slips into mine as we take our seats and watch Buffy grab Willow’s hand. The rest of the guests take their seats as Liv leans in and whispers, “Alex, did you bring the camera?” I shoot a look at her and scowl.
The look does nothing as she asks again without saying a word. Rolling my eyes, I pat my clutch next to me and she smiles. “Thank you,” she whispers and kisses my cheek.
I swear I had no idea that she had a little kid inside. Sometimes, I think she’s worse than a six year old. I turn my attention back to the man in front of them, Giles, as he clears his throat and begins speaking, “Hello everyone, I’m Rupert Giles. Some of you know me, for those of you who don’t, I’m going to be officiating at today’s ceremony.” He opens the book in his hand and begins reading, “What is love, but an emotion. It is strong and pure. A force that can halt time and triumph over the dark and impossible moments in one’s life, especially when that love is shared with another. Love is a champion of the soul. It is a beacon to guide our wayward hearts and shed light upon the confused and wounded. Love in all forms is eternal and sincere. A powerful force that can save the world.” He closes his book and folds his hands in front of him.
“Today it is my deepest honor, to witness and officiate at the union between Buffy Summers and Willow Rosenberg. I’ve watched both of them grow and mature into amazing women, whom I’m proud to call my family. I’ve not met two people who are more deserving of the happiness that they have found and share together.”
I listen as he speaks and feel Liv tighten her grip on my hand. I squeeze back and know that one day, perhaps sooner than she thinks, we’ll get here. It will be our turn to stand up before the others and declare our love for each other. Piece by piece that’s already started happening.
When we got back from Miami, I put in my transfer and started training the new girl the following week. I’ve been in Major Cases since the start of May. The guys took it like I expected when I told them about me leaving…until Liv spoke up and told them why.
I was shocked when they all chorused, “About damn time!”
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Liv turn that particular shade of red before or since. I also know that Deb is working out well in S.V.U. Elliot and Olivia say that she has such a passion for it and she’s almost as good as Liv when it comes to dealing with the victims. This is a little shocking, considering the woman has a mouth like a sailor and is on occasion very irritable.
Liv and I have been together seven months and tonight, when I take her home, I’m asking her to move in with me. The nights when she’s not there I have a hard time sleeping and the mornings I wake up and I’m not curled around her, the detectives on my squad stay clear of me. I’m tired of not having her there with me.
I have a feeling she’ll say yes as Elliot’s made it a point to tell me that I should spend the night at her place more because she’s evil when I’m not around. A small smile forms and I can’t help but feel good about that. I know there’s some lesbian stereotype about jumping into things, but we’ve known each other so long. We’ve danced around each other almost the entire time. I think that it’s safe to say, that after it all we’re still here, that neither of us is going anywhere.
Olivia’s finger drifts in front of my eyes and she whispers, “Quit thinking and listen, they’re saying their vows.”
I divert my attention back to the wedding in front of me and I hear Buffy speak first, “Willow, the first time I saw you, I knew you were special. As we grew up and became closer, I knew, the first year I spent in Sunnydale, I would die to protect you. You have been my rudder through life. You have seen me at my weakest, darkest moments and you’ve seen me at my best and brightest. The pain of it, our rise together and our fall, I see it every day when I look at you. And every day I find that I want to share that with you. I’m nothing without you Will and if you’ll have me I promise to love you and cherish you until we’re old and gray, toothless and can’t remember each other’s names.”
Tears trail down both of their cheeks and Willow nods before Buffy slips the band on her left ring finger.
I watch as my redheaded friend gathers herself and laces her hands with Buffy’s. Her voice is soft as it carries, “Buffy, when I was young, I had this dream of what my life would be like. And then you approached me at lunch and said, “Hi, I’m Buffy,” It was then that it all changed. I was warm and comfortable inside my shell, but you drew me out. You’re friendship meant the world to me. And as we got older, these boundaries that I didn’t think I’d cross, I suddenly found myself over them, drowning. You saved me when we first met and you saved me then. I promise that from now until I die, we’ll breathe together, hold each other’s hand as I know that I’m nothing without you and I vow to love you and cherish you until we’re old and gray, toothless and can’t remember each other’s names.”
She waits as Buffy whispers a ‘yes’ and slips a matching band on her partner’s hand. They lean into each other and share a brief, tender kiss then break apart.
Rupert’s grin is enormous as he booms, “Ladies and gentleman, it is my greatest honor to introduce for the first time, Mrs. Buffy Summers and her partner, Doctor Willow Rosenberg.”
Xander wraps a goblet in a cloth and lays it at the feet of the new brides. Buffy offers Willow an indulgent smile and then Willow’s foot rises. It goes crashing down on the glass which crunches under her foot. From my left, John Munch hollers, “Mazel tov!” as the rest of us join in shortly after.
I watch as they walk down the aisle hand in hand and a sense of right shifts in my world knowing that they’re finally as official as they’re going to get until the laws change.
I look out over my friends and family as they laugh and dance. Amazed that no one’s gotten into a fight or worse a demon hasn’t attacked. Oh…
See and this is why I need to keep my mouth shut. I just jinxed this entire shindig. I swear if a demon of any sort comes crashing through those doors all bets are off. I wait a minute and heave a sigh of relief. It could happen. Demons have the worst timing.
“Buffy?” I look over and see Susan standing next to me. I motion for her to sit and internally cringe. Worse than a demon I get Jimmy’s attitude challenged eldest. This should be fun.
I fake a smile and ask, “How are you?”
Her arms fold across her chest and she shrugs. “Not bad, but…uhm, I just wanted to say that I owe you an apology.”
My eyes go large and I swear my heart stops. Me? Apology? From Susan? The urge to get up and gather the troops for the end of the world is an irrational one, but it’s so totally the right one. “I, uh, well, what for?” I stammer.
Her eyes drop to the table in front of us as she grunts, “Accusing you and Willow. I haven’t been that fair to either of you.” Her hands rub together and she continues, “My dad introduced me to Debra. Can you tell me what the hell he’s thinking?”
Oh, I see. Will and I have been replaced in the people she needs to be jealous of in her life. She’s now mad at Deb. I shake my head and idly wonder how someone can be so miserable with their life. A small seed of sympathy for the woman begins to take root. Instead of doing what I really want to do, punch her in the face and tell her to get over herself, I say, “Susan, you’re dad loves you.” I find him in the crowd dancing between Dawn and Debra laughing.
“Look at him for a moment.” I watch her eyes track where my finger’s pointing and she harrumphs. “He’s happy Susan. As weird as it is for me to say this, he’s in love. Why be angry about that?”
Her head snaps to me and she glares. “See I knew this was a bad idea. James is so getting it for this.”
Sighing, I manage to not hit her and say, “What apologize to me? Susie, you can take that apology and shove it. What you can’t do is be upset or jealous over your dad finding some peace.”
“What the hell do you know?” she spits.
“I know,” I growl, grabbing her wrist and forcing her to look at me, “That he loves you and would do anything for you. You’re lucky to have him just as much as he’s lucky to have you. Get over the bitter bitch act. It’s really not doing you any favors.”
She tries to twist away, but I hold on. I’m not really done with her yet. “I swear to every deity that I can think of, you keep your shit to yourself and don’t ruin a good thing. They’re good to each other and for each other. If you make this miserable for him, Susan, daughter or not, they won’t find your bits for a century.”
She blanches and I smirk. I let go of her hand and she scrambles up away from the table. Stupid woman. I shake my head and watch her stalk off.
“Buffy,” Willow’s disapproving voice sounds in my ear.
“Was that really necessary?” she asks, taking her seat next to me. I feel her hand slip into mine and she squeezes while I grumble.
“She’s…God that woman is insufferable.” I seethe.
My wife nods and says, “She is, but she really isn’t hurting anyone but herself. Let her be miserable.” She grins at me and drops her voice, husking, “We have more important things to do.”
My eyebrows rise and I wonder just what exactly she’s talking about.
She sees my confusion and grins. “We need to dance. And we need to celebrate.”
“No you goof, our marriage. All of these people are here for us. Let her be and come have some fun with me.”
“But,” I pout, “As weird as it is, they’re really cute together and I don’t want his bitch of a daughter to ruin that for him. Jimmy deserves to be happy.”
Her hand reaches out and tucks a strand of flyaway hair behind my ear. Her lips form a tight line and she nods. “I get that, we’re all on that page together, but you can’t do anything about Susan. James and I talked about it and he says he’s already been that way. He says she gets it from her mom.”
My face scrunches and she taps the tip of my nose with her finger. “No, no thinking about this and being broody for the rest of the day.” She leans in, kisses me on one side of my mouth, then the other and nips my lower lip. “Come dance with your wife.”
Unable to resist, I let her pull me up and we make our way around the table and join the collection of friends and family on the dance floor. Alex and Olivia are dancing so close together, I don’t think I could wedge a piece of paper between them. They grin at us and I say, “If you start removing clothes, I’m arresting the both of you for public indecency.”
Olivia wiggles her eyebrows and purrs, “Now that’s something to shoot for. Counselor, how much hooch am I going to have to get you to drink to do a dance on one of the tables?”
Alex rolls her eyes and moans, “Did you have to help her with the idea?”
We laugh and Willow pulls me to her, lacing her hands around my neck. As we move, I make sure there’s no air between our bodies. By the end of the night, they may just have to arrest us for the public indecency.
I look over Will’s shoulder and see Xander and Faith dancing. Giles has his chippy of the week at the wedding party table. James and Tim are dancing by Kathy and Elliot. The four of them seem to be enjoying each other’s company. Everyone is happy…except Susan, but hell, Will’s right. She’s hurting no one but herself.
Jimmy manages to flounder his way over to us and Deb follows, her face bright red. “What’s the funny?” I ask, spinning Will and I so that we can all talk together.
“Your partner’s dancing Summers,” Deb answers. “You should have warned me he has two left feet.”
“I’ve never danced with him,” I say shrugging.
Debra gapes at me and I smile.
“Red,” Jimmy finally speaks up, “You mind if I cut in?”
Willow let’s me go and I pout, “He’s going to ruin these shoes.”
“Can it, Cupcake,” my partner grumbles and settles his hands on my hips. I rest my hands on his shoulders and move us away from Deb and Will laughing at us. “So,” Jimmy says, “you ready for the Honeymoon, partner?”
I laugh. “Honeymoon? Here I thought Will and I were just going to hole up in the apartment while you stayed the week at Debs so we can make sweet sweet love over every available surface.”
He flushes and I laugh. “Do me a favor, partner, use the bleach when you two clean up.” He grins at me and winks.
“I can do that,” I say and stick my tongue out at him. “Hey, you really aren’t that bad a dancer.”
“Tell that to Deb. I stepped on her feet twice,” he mumbles.
Rolling my eyes, I tell him, “You’re too nervous with her. Loosen up old man and have some fun.” His shoulders give a little and I move my arms around his waist and pull us together. Resting my head on his chest, I let the rest of the song play through before I pull us apart. “Come on, let’s go find our women.”
We find Will and Deb talking with Alex and Xander. Not wanting to even jump in on that conversation, I let Jimmy wade into the fray and catch Willow’s eyes. Crooking a finger, I motion for her to come over as the D.J. cue’s up a slow song.
Do I have timing or what?
Will smiles at me and we meet in the middle, mirroring our positions from before Jimmy cut in. This time though I rest my head on her shoulder and bury my nose in her neck. I breathe her in and relax.
I let her spin me wherever she wants and hang on for the ride, depending on her for guidance. The rest of the people here fall away and in my world, it’s only the two of us. It’s only the two of us until I feel the tips of my toes scrape the floor. Not even opening my eyes, I whisper into her neck, “Will, we’re floating.”
Her body shakes under me with laughter and she says, “I know, now be quiet and let me have my fun.”
I pull back and look at her. “You’re nuts, Will, but I love you.”
Her tongue sticks out then she says, “That’s good. ‘Cause I’ve had this huge crush on you for like ever, but I’m married,” she jokes and wiggles her ring finger in front of me.
“Too bad,” I say leaning in and brushing our lips together, “I would have rocked your world.”
Before closing the distance between us, she moans, “I’m counting on it Detective.”
For the millionth time that night, a few pieces of my world fall into perfect harmony and I lose myself in her arms.