Chapter Six Or The 4th Wall
The 4th Wall?
Authors’ Note: Sorry for the long wait, now for the FINALE! Warning, the following will contain acts of comedy. Also involved will be acts that not only break the fourth wall but shatter it into tiny pieces. If you don’t have a sense of humor, get out now, run, run for the hills while you still can. Thank you for listening to this Public Service Announcement. OH and Father Grim and son would like to wish you all a happy new year.
Chapter Six Or The 4th Wall
Circe growled as she threw the beaten slayer back into the cell. The one called Faith was a fighter to be sure, even beaten and bloody as she was. She didn’t stack up to the near god level power of the witch though, which was the only reason Circe was still standing after she got off one good hit.
“See… I gave you a fat lip eh Bitch?” Faith grinned, bleeding from her cut lip as she spat out some blood. Circe just grunted as she walked away from the cages. This wasn’t going near as fast as she’d like. There was something …wrong with these girls. Whatever spell or a magical property that was used on these girls was ancient and….possibly demonic. They simply would not quit!
That was the trouble. She had no problem dealing with demons but they were notorious for not following directions. So even if she did get her army of Slayers, there was always the chance of a full on rebellion. This was exactly the worst possible thing that could happen. She was thinking it was just some divine spell or some small little enhancement. Who heard of combining humans with demons to…well…fight demons. There was The Demon, Etrigan, of course, but that was forced upon Jason Blood and they were two separate entities.
Passing the next cage she growled to herself again. The red haired witch was trying again to wake up. She’d be a problem; she didn’t realize the other world had that level of magical energies when she took her small trip there. It would have gone so much worse if it wasn’t for the brute strength of the stupid criminal she blackmailed that caught the witch unprepared.
She was just going to have to kill them all, and that was that. She’d have to scrap the project. She just wasted all that time when… That’s when the wards went off, of course. Turning around the wards weren’t tripped. They were blown wide open! Focusing her magic she sneered.
She wasn’t going to give her intruders what they wanted yet though. Walking slowly to where the tear was in her mystical barrier, she had to quickly create a shield as one of her beastiamorph’s, transformed human, was thrown at her.
“Ack…” Well there went her dignified entrance as she landed flat on her ass. Of course standing there at the end of the hall was the high and mighty Princess, Wonder Woman. Her eyes opened a bit though seeing that the minion she… blackmailed, Titania, was standing there as well as a female green goliath.
Hearing feet drop behind her she only barely was able to pull up a shield as a sword brushed off the side of it, a slight burst of panic filled her eyes as she twisted around seeing a man in a mask point a gun at her. She sneered.
“Really princess, sending a man after me?” A slight smirk appeared on her face after the initial feeling of panic as bullets bounced off her mystical spell. Waving her hands she wondered what the man would become before snapping her fingers, the spell should take hold now…er…now. What the hell? Nothing was happening.
“What…how can…?” Her eyes opened wide again. He wasn’t a threat by himself as she turned around to see a massive green fist slam into her face slamming her through a wall and out onto the busy city street. The last thing she saw before hitting the street was the man waving to her from hole in the building, smirking.
“Moly…duhhh, like in the herb, you know. I mean seriously, your weakness is all over the stories.”
She grunted as she rose from the massive crater in the street with only one thought in her head. Fuckin’ mythology.
A Few Minutes Prior
“Where did you get Molly?” Diana’s eyes widen as Deadpool was consuming a whole branch of the herb.
“Munch, munch, dues ex machine for the win….” He managed to get out before a belch.
Angered as she pulled herself out of the large body shaped crevice she sneered at the heroes, how dare they. How dare they interrupt her plans, sure her plans failed but still. She did have a backup though.
“Fine, you want to play it this way Wonder Woman…” She spat out the word as she hastily got to her feet. She sneered at the three women who glared at her and the one masked man who seemed to be giving the raspberry.
“I also hired a little help just for emergencies.” She snapped and a group costumed mercenaries appeared on the roof of her building. One jumped off, but before hitting the ground, grew to several stories tall. Fit in a skin tight body suit Wonder Woman shook her head.
“Giganta of course….” She murmured as the next person dropped from the sky. Instead of dropping at usual speed the decent was slowed by a sheet of ice that soon covered the ground.
“Killer frost.” Diana continued. Suddenly a gunshot rang out and everyone turned around to see a hole appear in Deadpool’s head as his arms and legs flew up into the air as his head and body slammed into the ground.
“And of course, Slade. I thought you hated men.” Diana continued. As the girls ignored the male much to Circe’s surprise.
“You’re…you’re not worried about your fallen…” But she was cut off as She-hulk shrugged.
“Its not like you damaged anything he was using.” Jennifer growled, as Titania smirked.
“So who gets who?” Titania looked at the other two girls.
“Paper-rock-scissors?” She-Hulk asked. Wonder woman sighed and nodded much to the questioning glance of the rest of the villains. This wasn’t exactly how things usually went. They just watched more out of morbid curiosity. After a few games the heroines nodded.
“Right,” Jennifer smirked and jumped up several stories to slug Giganta in the face as Diana’s lasso barely missed Killer Frost. Circe looked at the last woman who glared.
“Time for some payback bitch,” Came from Titania.
Slade kept his eye on the snipers cross hairs. Seriously, they actually were playing rock-paper-scissors? There was just something wrong about that. He was hired to take down any super power interloper but these three were out of his league, at least strength wise. Luckily that masked guy went down easily and…
He stopped mid thought as he used the scope to look around the area. The man’s body was gone.
Rolling away from the sound of a sword slashing above his head he quickly drew his own weapon and deflected the two swords baring down on him. The masked man, with the obvious bullet hole in the costume almost seemed to smile at him.
“I think its time for the battle all the fans have been waiting for.” The man, smirked, the expression showing on the mask.
Before he could ask what fans Slade was fending off Deadpool’s deadly advances.
The building, now empty of any beastiamorphs, who poured out into the streets to help their master, was being invaded by someone else. Dawn walked around some of the unconscious forms as she carried Creel, who would be at a disadvantage in the fight.
Walking down the halls, using the map of the place she gleamed from Oracle, she was able to find where her sister and friends were being held. Opening the door she entered the prison looking area as Faith’s swollen eyes opened.
“Hey there girl looks like you brought the cavalry if those sounds and the way that bitch ran were any indication.” The beat up slayer grinned as a similar Buffy came to the bars of her cell limping on her left leg.
“Dawnie? Thank god you’re all right, but listen; you need to get out of here before Giles gets your scent.” Buffy’s eyed her sister worriedly.
“Giles, why do I have to worry about…” Suddenly she heard a roar followed by Xander’s voice coming from the floor. Looking down she saw a dachshund.
“Too late…” The canine spoke.
“Xander!!!?” Dawn exclaimed as a massive tiger man lumbered forward, wearing shreds of…a tweed shirt.
“OH fuck…” Dawn groaned.
“Language Dawn!” Buffy warned it seemed only on pure sisterly instinct.
“A little busy here sis.” Looking down the Hall she saw Willow chained up but snoozing away, probably under a sleep spell.
She reviewed her options. There’s no way she could fight him, and any spells she did know she didn’t want to hurt one of her oldest friends and, well father figure if you got down too it. Looking down at the rabbit she smirked. The rabbit’s eyes seemed to bulge.
“Dinner time Giles!” She slid the rabbit towards the open door she watched the rabbit slide and rushed after it. The rabbit out of instinct started too bound away. Taking the bait, Giles rushed through the door and past Dawn to catch its prey.
Quickly shutting and bolting the door Dawn sighed.
“Now then, lets get you guys out of here and seriously Xander, she turned you into a dog?”
Giganta hadn’t been hit that hard in a while as she stumbled back. Usually with her height she was safe from most powerhouses unless they could fly but this one seemed to be able to jump up to catch her face to face.
Every time she regained her footing the green one made another massive leap to slug the giantess in the face again.
“Arge, stop that you stupid little jumping bean.” Giganta grumbles as the next time this happened she slammed her hands together. Catching Jennifer and smirking proudly to her self before her hands were slowly forced apart. Grabbing the nearest finger Jen bent it back breaking it with way to much ease.
“Ugh, we Hulks just don’t go down that easily.” She-Hulk growled as she was released from Giganta’s hands and falling onto her foot, breaking it. The snap could be heard for miles and Giganta screamed in pain reaching down to clutch at her broken extremity.
Bounding up to the massive villainess’s face Jennifer smirked as she held two hands together and slammed them into the giant’s forehead, dropping the huge villainess down for the count and possibly giving her a concussion.
As she dropped to the ground She-Hulk wiped her hands off as she heard Deadpool yell out, who seemed to be fighting Deathstroke on the roof.
“You missed a great opportunity for the bigger they are harder they fall joke.” He yelled.
Jennifer just sighed as she ran to help Wonder with some of the beasts.
Some clichés just didn’t need to be said.
Wonder Woman smirked as she and killer Frost jumped aside, missing the massive hand of Giganta that fell. That was one down but Diana was having her own problems. Along with Frost, who the insane ice mistress wasn’t a push over, she was being swarmed with the rest of the conscience beasts.
Whirling around on the pavement, throwing some of the beasts aside and even having to throw them out of the way of Frost’s killer ice so that they can be turned back to human later, she was having trouble taking her down.
The hand helped. It took out some of the remaining transformed humans allowing her a chance to catch Frost unguarded. Pouncing on the frozen woman she was able to slam through the thick ice shield before tying up her frosty adversary.
“Ice one princess.” A voice yelled from the rooftops as she watched Deadpool fight Slade. Turning she saw She-Hulk groan helping with the beasts but Diana gave a small smirk anyway.
The strange man, Deadpool, was quite insane but there was something, likeable in it, somehow. But she didn’t have to tell him that.
Deadpool and Slade watched each other as they took a small break from all the fighting. Both bleeding from small cuts that were quickly clotting.
“You’re good. Your better then good, you’re going for the kill. You’re not a hero are you?” Slade turned his head.
“Nope, mercenary.” He happily answered.
“How much did they pay you?” Slade asked, just wondering.
“Nothing, their good friends.” Wade grinned happily.
“What sorta mercenary works for free?” Slade responds amused slightly that someone who could almost be his brother worked not only for free but had friends.
“Hmmmm the kind who’s clinically insane?” Wade answered just as happily.
“Ah.” He could see that. They all had, at least in his opinion, some mental problems in order to wear the costumes but Deadpool seemed to actually be insane as their weapons once again clanged together like the beat of steel drums.
As he twirled Slade grabbed a gun only to see Deadpool copy the move, dropping one of his double swords to do so as they exchanged gun fire, each taking a few shots. Strokes armor taking the brunt of his while Deadpool seemed to just, take the shots.
Of course a few minutes later the wounds closed. Healing factor, Slade thought to himself but Deadpool didn’t seem as strong as he was. An equal trade off, speed over strength, maybe as their battle continued. They shot the guns out of each others hands.
After watching the beastiamorphs pour out from the building…was one running after a rabbit? He shook he head as he saw the prisoners start to run out as well.
Slashing at his opponent he was paid to keep them in so he aimed a gun at one of the runners. The young one.
That was his mistake he knew. It was always about the money for him. He should have paid attention to his adversary as he felt a knife slam into his hand disarming the gun from him.
Grunting through the pain he wanted to rip the knife out but moved his attention back to his adversary.
“Bad move. Very bad move.” Deadpool’s expression had changed. The seemingly fun mercenary had gotten deadly serious. This was gonna get nasty.
Stepping back Deathstroke pulled the knife from his hand and threw it at Deadpools’s head, while freeing his sword from its sheath. Knocking the knife out of the air Deadpool advanced on him. The swords came alive from both combatants weaving a net of death to any one else that would have entered into the fray. These two were born masters of the ancient art. Each move faster than the last. The ringing steel could be heard by those below easily. The dual went on for what seemed hours, both men sweating from the fatigue yet still fighting on.
Deadpool, with his scarred face half revealed from a slash near his face, growled at Slade, with his body and shirt cut to ribbons, who stared at the sword sticking out of his left shoulder.
“You tried to kill Dawnie…” Deadpool growled as he slid his other sword into Deathstroke’s right shoulder and ran him back, impaling him to the roof entrance of the building pinning him there.
“Now let’s have some fun.” Deadpool sneered pulling out some knives.
Circe grunted floating in the air as she magically tore another car apart. She wasn’t in a very happy mood. Her underlings defeated as the little wretch of a strong woman was breaking her concentration. Titania wasn’t a huge threat by herself but with them all…
And then she felt it break as she watched the slayers run from the building. Her concentration stopped as a car hit her and sent her flying into a building.
“That is enough!” She screamed in fury as she floated from the building, magical energies crackling around her.
“I’ve had enough of this incessant battle.” She yelled as she heard a voice behind her.
“Lady, I completely agree.” Turning around she see’s the fist of the red headed witch that she had kept under stasis slam into her. Her power to the spell must have been broken by the battle much to her annoyance as the hit dropped her to the ground.
“Your strong little girl but I’m a full fledged goddess of sorcery. You can’t beat me. None of you can!!!” She yelled as the all the hero’s and slayers converged on her. Suddenly she felt a wetness on her boot and looked down. The man she turned into a dog was…peeing on her!
“Oh shut up.” The canine spoke. Filled with rage she was about to completely disintegrate the canine before she heard a noise.
“I completely agree.” Standing up she saw the green woman holding…a metal rabbit, before it was thrown at her head. She was able to come up with a shield but it only stopped her head from being taken off, knocking her unconscious as she slumped to the ground.
All around her the beastiamorphs slowly were being turned back to normal as their mistress was knocked out. Giles was waking up wondering why his hands and feet were bound together. And another of his shirts ruined. Well at least he was conscience he sighed.
“Paybacks a bitch.” Titania kicked the unconscious body of the sorceress.
“Hey why isn’t Creed turning back?” She asked.
“The spell he was under was seemingly just one with a time limit. He’ll change back.” Diana nodded.
“But you all better leave back to your home dimension. The police will be here soon and there’s a lot of…questions that will need to be answered.”
“Yeah, and I don’t want to be getting the bill for the property damage.” Buffy whistled looking around at the massive mess around them.
Titania grinned as she pulled out the rock that originally transported them here in the first place.
“Best part of the beat down. No need to pay for it.” She smirked as She-Hulk rolled her eyes as Deadpool popped up.
“And we win the day, as if the authors would have had anything else happen, this was a comedy more or less.” Most of the others looked at him as Dawn and She-Hulk ignored him.
Faith smirked as she walked over to the group.
“Looks like you didn’t get off scot free Xander.” She sniggered.
“Huh what do you... oh you have got to be kidding me.” He looked around and saw he still had the canine tail.
Faith smiled and leaned in taking Xan’s hand and whispering in his ear. His tail started wagging faster.
“You are all proud warriors in my opinion, even you, Wade, in your own… insane way.” She looked up.
“Ah Power Girl is arriving, the Society must be getting here first.” She mused as Deadpool‘s eyes opened wide just as the stone glowed.
“No not yet, not yet, I hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to Super Boo…” His voice disappeared as the intense blast of light teleported them back to their home dimension.
Dawn smiled as she dropped onto her dorm room bed. Turns out with the time difference she came back just in time for her to miss no days of class. Great. Creed eventually did turn back and it seemed that after their next bank robbery, there was a large donation for a rabbit adoption agency much to Dawn’s amusement.
Surprisingly they also exchanged numbers and the two criminals were actually put above Deadpool in the people to call in case of an emergency.
“Xander had a date to have the tail surgically removed even though according to Faith, it was adorable. And yes, supposedly it wagged when she rubbed his belly although Dawn didn’t want to hear any more about that.
She-Hulk in the meanwhile was hired to be the council’s new lawyer. They even got her license back with their special influence with the government.
As a joke, she actually set up Buffy on a date with Deadpool. See how she likes it and besides, he’d be one of her youngest boyfriends ever. And mostly human.
“Ah Dawn it’s time.” She stopped as she turned around hearing Jennifer’s voice and turning around and seeing her and Deadpool standing there.
“What the hell! How’d you two …” She said angrily.
“Ah well we thought its time.” Deadpool smiled as She-Hulk rolled her eyes.
“Actually the authors just thought it would be funny. Look up.” She did so and her mouth opened. The two writers at the computer table waved.
“Yep, we’re all in a story. Welcome to the knowledge of the fourth wall.” Deadpool patted her shoulder.
“Trust me; it’ll get better if you just ignore it.” Jennifer sighed.
“Oh come on, wait till she sees all the gay fanfiction with herself in it!” Deadpool grins widely.
Only one thought rang thought Dawn’s head though.