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Not Gonna Happen

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Summary: This is an AU crackfic. It is NOT what's going to happen in If I Ruled The World, but it grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let go until I wrote it. Bad crackfic! No biscuit!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Dr. Who/Torchwood > GeneralEarnestScribblerFR715262121,0186 Jan 106 Jan 10Yes
Standard Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the creation of Joss Whedon and is owned by Fox Television (I think. If I'm wrong, smack me). Doctor Who belongs to the BBC.

This has spoilers for my fanfic If I Ruled The World.


Not Gonna Happen

Buffy couldn't help a small cackle of triumph as the thrumming sound from the Time Fuser continued to rise in pitch and volume. The rippling green light visible through the windows on the hexagonal column got brighter, faded, then brighter again. It was beautiful.

Behind her, Faith continued to strain at the bars on her cage. She grunted with the effort, but made no headway. Finally, she stepped back and gave the lock a couple of hearty kicks with her combat boots. With each kick, she growled in frustration, finally finishing up with a yell.

Buffy turned back and grinned triumphantly at her.

"Save your strength, Faith," she said. "Thanks to the Cruciamentum Drug, you don't have a lot to spare right now."

Faith grabbed two bars and tried to shake them, still yelling wordlessly. They didn't budge. She finally slumped against the bars in defeat.

"Face it, F, you can't stop me."

"Someone will," Faith half sobbed. "Someone has to."

Buffy shook her head. "No. Nobody. Maybe the Doctor could have, but he hasn't showed. Probably because I finally wised up and just ordered my killbots to vaporize him on sight."

She folded her arms and turned back to gaze at the Time Fuser.

"And that's assuming he survived when I dropped him straight into the heart of the Fuser here. There may be a way to survive that, but I don't know what it is. In fact, if it were anyone other than the Doctor, I'd just assume they were dead."

She stepped closer to the Fuser and peered into the nearest panel, where Dawn floated unconscious at the heart of the device.

"And in less than a minute, it won't matter anyway," Buffy said. "The Fuser will do its work, and as far as Earth is concerned, this solar system will be the only one in the universe. And I will ascend and become its god!"

"Betcha he lived," Faith said. "Betcha he regenerated and infiltrated your lab here. He's probably one of your technicians, or a guard or somethin'."

Buffy chuckled. "Oh, nice try, Faith, but it wouldn't matter. I'd know him in an instant, no matter what face he wore. We're that connected to each other."

"You sure?" Faith said. "I mean, he didn't recognize you. If he had, you'd never have got the drop on him."

"The wonders of cross-temporal reincarnation," Buffy said. "I still knew him, but in this form he didn't know me. Not until it was too late."

"Yeah," Faith sighed. "Yeah, well. That works both ways."

Buffy froze, going cold inside. She slowly turned to face the dark-haired Slayer.

Faith sighed again and reached into an inside pocket of her jacket. She pulled out a sonic screwdriver and aimed it at the Fuser.

"I'm sorry," she told Buffy. "I'm so sorry."


I have no idea where this came from.

The End

You have reached the end of "Not Gonna Happen". This story is complete.

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