AN: as always, i own nothing but the plot line of this. All characters and franchises belong to their respective creators and owners. BTVS crossed with To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar. Enjoy.
The stylish powder blue convertible slid to a stop outside the small suburban home, three identical sounds of strangled horror passing the expertly painted lips of the three women inside.
“Nuh-uh, Vida, what are we doing here?” The woman riding shotgun sounded horrified as she peered over the passenger side door at the small rundown home.
“I have a responsibility Noxeema, I simply can’t sit by and do nothing.” The statuesque driver reluctantly opened her door and stepped out, chewing her lip. Reaching in she took her dainty designer purse from the dashboard and closed the door behind her with a resolute thump.
Squaring her broad shoulders, Vida set off for the faded white door with his peeling paint. She had always known her no good brother in law was scum. She paused as her sisters-in-arms began to exit their dainty vehicle.
Her attention was caught by the small face peaking at them from a bedroom window. Big innocent brown eyes and soft sable hair. That kid was a heart breaker, she knew.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this, what are we doing here anyways?” The Latino lady gained on the first with short rapid steps, her stylish healed pumps crunching over gravel.
“Mmm-hmmm, places like this aren’t very welcoming to people like us.” The muscular coloured lady Identified as Noxeema snapped her fingers to punctuate as she stepped alongside Vida. “People like us get Shot in places like this.” She added dryly.
“Nonsense, we won’t be here long enough to be shot.” Vida gave her companions a bright smile before resuming the walk up to the sad little home. Noxeema tutted as they passed a flowerbed over run with weeds.
Stepping onto the porch, Vida raised her fist and rapped her knuckles off the door, cringing slightly and wiping her hand onto a Kleenex. Flanked by her sisters, she stood straight as the TV was turned down a notch. They didn’t have to wait long, as the door was wrenched open by a large man in a dirty shirt. He held an almost empty bottle of beer in his hand and the stench of stale alcohol permeated the air.
“Ah, you must be Tony, I’m looking for Jessica. Is she perhaps in?” Vida forced a charming polite smile on his face.
“Who the fuck are you?” The large rotund man squinted his beady eyes at them, frowning even as he let out a belch.
“My name, is Miss. Vida Boheme. These are my companions, Miss. Noxeema Jackson and Miss. Chi-chi Rodriguez. I am a relative of Jessica’s, she asked me to come visit your quaint little home.” Vida introduced, eying the man. His frown deepened and he turned his head.
“BOY!” He bellowed before looking back at them. “Jessica’s dead. Silly slut got herself killed.” Tony dragged an arm over his nose, wiping it on his shirt. “It’s about time you got here.” He glared at them.
Vida felt her face fall in shock. Jessica was dead? She’d been murdered? Granted she knew she was no longer in the family, but surely someone would tell her of news like this. As the pitter patter of small feet running echoed through the home, Vida knew the answer. No they wouldn’t tell her, the evidence was staring at her in the face.
Within moments, a small boy no older than five was stepping off the stairs inside the dingy home, a back pack on his shoulder, another back in his hands and a stuffed animal tucked under his arm.
Tony stepped away form the door a moment, coming back with something in his fist. He glared at the boy motioning him out, waiting until the boy had crossed the threshhold before shoving the papers at Vida.
“What in the world?” Vida frowned.
“The brats yours now.” Tony grunted before slamming the door, knocking the small boy into Vida’s legs.
“Excuse me!!” Noxeema sounded scandalized as Vida looked at the papers.
Vida eyed the paperwork, then the little boy staring at them in fear, back to the paperwork and back into his petrified brown puppy eyes.
“What’s your name pumpkin?” Vida slowly crouched to look into his eyes.
“…Xander.” The little boy’s lower lip trembled in fear.
“Well Xander, I am your Auntie Vida, and this is your auntie Nixie and this is your auntie Chi-chi.” Vida smiled warmly at the boy. “Your coming to live with us sweet-pea.” Vida put a hand on his shoulder, ignoring the tittering her statement struck up with her companions. She picked him up and began carrying him to the car.