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Stop All The Dancing.

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This story is No. 2 in the series "Buff Barbarians and Perky Parthenians.". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: A short adventure for Faith the Buff Barbarian and Dawn the Perky Parthenian Dancer. Vampires and exotic dancing just don’t mix! Non-song song fic based on the ‘Hollies’ song ‘Stop all the Dancing’.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Miscellaneous > Music(Recent Donor)DaveTurnerFR1512,6791111,18524 Jan 1024 Jan 10Yes
Stop All The Dancing.
By Dave Turner.

Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or the old ‘Hollies’ hit, ‘Stop all the Dancing’. I write these stories for fun not profit

Crossover: Non-song song fic based on the ‘Hollies’ song ‘Stop all the Dancing’.

Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation; Written in glorious English-English. American and various other idioms are used throughout this fic.

Timeline: Post BtVS season seven (no comics); set six weeks after the events depicted in my story ‘Faith the Destroyer’.

Words: 2500+.

Warnings: None.

Summary: A short adventure for Faith the Buff Barbarian and Dawn the Perky Parthenian Dancer. Vampires and exotic dancing just don’t mix!

Author’s note: This story takes place during the dangerous time warp between ‘Faith the Destroyer’ and ‘Faith the Barbarian’.


Even before he’d died, Raka hadn’t been much of a success in life; his sandal making business had never really got off the ground. The girl his mother had chosen for him to marry had taken a lover only a couple of days after the ceremony. In fact as far as Raka could see life really couldn’t get any worse and then, of course, he died.

Death turned out to be a big turning point in his life, suddenly Raka found that people listened to what he had to say, not for long of course. Any conversation he had after his death tended to end abruptly with a lot of screaming and blood squirting and staining the walls and floors. Being a stickler for tradition he’d killed his wife, her lover and his mother. Then he killed the leather merchant who he’d always suspected had overcharged him for raw materials.

Yes, thought Raka, death had certainly been a step up for him in the scheme of things. He was strong, people feared him and finding a meal was simplicity itself. Alright, only being able to go out at night had been a bit of a drag, at first, he’d soon become accustomed to life in the dark. Haafi, being a major seaport, had many places of entertainment in which he could while away the long hours until dawn.

Although Raka was content with his new un-life he still craved love and companionship. He’d tried keeping a couple of young women but he could tell they didn’t really like him; they only pretended to like him so he wouldn’t eat them. These relationships tended to end, once again, in a lot of screaming and blood spurting across the walls. Also, after a while any woman he took simply grew old and ugly and had to be killed. No, he needed a female version of himself to share his un-life with. Someone who wouldn’t grow old, someone who was physically capable of surviving his rather extreme sexual tastes without dying of her wounds; in short he needed a female vampire.

Luckily he’d seen just the girl only a couple of weeks earlier and he’d been watching her ever since. She was a barbarian dancing girl who worked the wine shops around Bleaker Street. This girl wasn’t just some whore who danced to attract customers; no this girl was an artist, the sort of girl who could set a room afire with her dancing and leave her audience gasping for breath at the end of her performance.

As far as Raka could tell she never ‘entertained’ any of her audience after a show. In fact those who made the mistake of assuming that a few coins could buy her affections soon came into conflict with the dancing girl’s companion. The dark haired warrioress dealt with each advance or overly excited patron in the same way; she threw them out into the street…often through a wall.

Tonight was the night, Raka had decided, tonight he would kidnap the girl and turn her into an immortal and maybe he’d turn the warrioress too.


Standing in an alleyway just off Bleaker Street, Dawn and Faith looked up at the sign that hung over the door of the wine shop.

“The sign of the Rampant Stallion,” Dawn gazed up at the gaudily painted sign, “like gross!”

The sign didn’t leave much to the imagination.

“You sure you wanna go in there?” Faith rested her hand on the hilt of her sword the place looked like a dive, the sort of place, in fact, she might have frequented in her youth.

“Yeah,” Dawn nodded her head, “I, like, made a deal to perform here and I so checked the place out.”

“Yeah?” Faith didn’t sound convinced.

“Yeah,” explained Dawn, “it’s, like a totally respectable place no underage girls…”

“You do know that means no girls under twelve, right?” Faith pointed out.

“Different times, way different cultures,” countered Dawn, “and anyway, like the guy in charge so doesn’t allow prostitution on the premises. And, like we’ve got to eat, we’ve so nearly spent all the money we got off queen bitch Jehnna.”

The final argument was the clincher, not even Faith could fight an empty belly.

“Okay,” admitted Faith, “but the first sign of trouble and we’re outta here, right?”

“Yeah, like okay,” Dawn agreed reluctantly, “you’re totally beginning to sound like my sister much!”

Tucking her bundle of stage clothes under her arm more firmly Dawn stepped into the Rampant Stallion.


The entrance lobby was small and dark and smelt faintly of stale wine; what little light there was came from one small lamp set high up in the wall.

“Wot d’you want?” came a gruff voice from within the deep shadow by the door to the main part of the building.

Shifting slightly to put herself between the voice and Dawn, Faith was just about to answer when the shadow moved. The ‘shadow’ revealed itself to be the biggest man Faith had ever seen. He must have been over seven foot tall and about four foot across the shoulders; he shambled towards Faith then bent down to look her in the face.

“We don’t want any of your kind, round here,” observed the doorkeeper, a large cudgel hanging from his wrist by a thong to back up his opinions; “bloody barbarians coming ‘round ‘ere stealing all the jobs from good ‘onest Haafi working men…”

Faith was just about to punch this ‘man’ through the wall when Dawn stepped forward.

“Hi!” Dawn cried cheerfully, “I’m, like Dawn the Perky Parthenian Dancer, and this is like my friend, Faith the Buff Barbarian. We’re here to see Mr Chanina.”

Faith frowned at Dawn’s use of her nickname.

“Who?” the doorkeeper lifted a massive hand and scratched his small head.

“Like, you know?” Dawn grinned, “You musta totally heard the song?”

Both the doorkeeper and Faith frowned but for completely different reasons; Dawn sang a couple of bars.

She is the very model of a heroine barbarian;
Through Herculean efforts, she’s become humanitarian.
She rides throughout the hinterland -- at least that's what they call it in
Those sissy towns like Sunnydale, Faith herself, is a Bostonian…

“Oh!” rumbled the doorkeeper, “That Faith the Buff Barbarian!”

“Like there’s another?” Dawn gasped in surprise.

“Yeah,” nodded the doorkeeper, “but you can come in.”

The mountain of a man pulled back the blanket that covered the entrance and pointed across the empty wine shop at a man who stood by the bar.


The balding, middle-aged man at the bar turned at the sound of their approach; he eyed Faith warily but gave Dawn a bright appreciative smile.

“Mr Chanina?” asked Dawn.

“Yes,” replied the man, “you must be Dawn the Perky Parthenian Dancer.”

As Dawn and Chanina started on a complicated business discussion, Faith lost interest and started to check the place out. Okay, she thought, looks like two exits. There was the main door and another door that probably led out to a back alley through a kitchen area. There was a staircase over in the far corner next to a small stage. That was probably were the dancers came down from the rooms upstairs while the band sat on the stage.

The Rampant Stallion looked like a hundred other similar places she’d been to since Dawn and herself had fallen into this world. The only real difference between the Rampant Stallion and all the other places was that this place seemed an awful lot cleaner. Walking around the main room, Faith threaded her way between the low tables and the cushions on the floor where the customers sat. She smiled knowingly, having your customers basically sitting on the floor made it harder for them to get up quickly and thus harder for fights to start. This Chanina guy wasn’t stupid.

Having finished her business with Chanina Dawn wandered over to where Faith stood.

“Okay, like I’ve finalised the deal with Chanina there,” Dawn nodded towards the shop owner. “I do three dances tonight, with an option to come back on a weekly basis if I’m, like popular.”

Dawn rolled her eyes as if to say, ‘of course I’ll be popular, dur!’

“I’ve even made a deal so he’ll, like pay you if you help with security, okay?” Dawn raised her eyebrow questioningly.

“Yeah fine,” Faith nodded.


The night had gone surprisingly well; Dawn had performed twice to her usual rapturous reception. Faith smiled as she thought of what Buffy would say if she got to see what her ‘innocent little sister’ did to earn money. The audience had been well behaved and showed their appreciation my throwing the dancers coins.

However, something had spoiled Faith’s enjoyment of a quiet night and being paid for it. She could feel a vampire somewhere in the room but she could never quite work out which of the customers was the bloodsucker. She’d prowled around the room checking out each customer. But without becoming so obvious that the vamp would high tail it out of the bar, she’d not been able to get close enough to pinpoint the fang guy.

Shaking her head in frustration, Faith retreated into the shadows to watch the crowd as Dawn made her third and final appearance on the dance floor.


Feeling the excitement build in his chest, Raka turned to look at the stairs where the dancers appeared as the audience started to clap. He saw her there posing at the foot of the stairs dressed in a tiny pair of panties a few satin-like scarves, silver nipple tassels, some jewellery and a smile. Raka felt his long dead heart do a back flip as the girl stepped out onto the dance floor.

The girl had cymbals on her fingers and bells that jingled as she walked around her ankles; blood red light reflected across the room from the ruby she wore in her navel. The band started to play as the dancing girl started to sway to and fro moving faster as the beat of the music increased. Soon she would be whirling around the dance floor, exciting him and the audience but always just out of his reach.

Finding himself breathing rapidly, Raka wiped the sweat from his brow. He couldn’t take his eyes off the girl, her body fascinated him like he was being mesmerised by a snake. Lifting his wine cup in a trembling hand, Raka drank without taking his eyes from the girl’s nubile body. Soon his chance would come; the girl was dancing between the tables now teasing the audience with her proximity. Any moment now she’d be in reach and he would pounce.

“Closer, closer,” muttered Raka quietly as the girl started to head towards his table.

Just as the girl stepped into reach, Raka stood up and made a grab for her.


“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” screamed Dawn as she punched her assailant on the side of his head, “Get offa me you freak!”

The weight and momentum of her attacker bore the pair of them down onto the floor. Struggling to free herself, Dawn screamed scratched and bit her attacker as they rolled across the floor knocking over tables and spilling people’s drinks as they went.

“OH! LIKE, GROSS!” squealed Dawn as she found her attackers hands grab hold of her breasts; she grabbed hold of the pervert’s long, lank hair and pulled his head back so she could head butt him in the face, instead she screamed all the more loudly.

“VAMP!” what the hell, thought Dawn as she screamed her warning; she head butted the vamp anyway her forehead catching him on the bridge of the nose.

This had the effect of making the vamp let go of her breasts and clutch his bloody nose.


Wading through a sea of panicking humanity, Faith fought her way to where Dawn struggled with the vamp. Knocking people out of her way when they moved too slowly for her liking, Faith took hold of the vamps collar just as Dawn head butted him in the face. The vamp cried out in pain and shock as he was lifted off his prey and hurled bodily across the room.

“You okay?” asked Faith as she helped Dawn regain her feet.

“Bastard!” she screamed in the direction of the vamp, she turned to look at Faith; “I want him, like soooo dead, he totally ruined my big finish!”

Smiling, Faith turned to deal with the vamp; Dawn was okay. Now Faith could deal with the bloodsucker. Striding across the dance floor to where the vampire lay trying to disentangle himself from a couple of ruined tables and a pile of cushions; she picked him up by the throat and hurled him through a wall in the direction of street.


Picking himself up from the pile of shattered mud bricks that lay on the cobblestones of the alley, Raka looked up to see the warrioress appear through the hole he’d just made in the wall. Stumbling a little and shaking his head to try to clear it, Raka decided it was time to leave. Maybe he should find another girl, one that didn’t have such a strong and obviously dangerous friend.


Climbing through the hole in the wall, Faith saw the vamp struggle to his feet. Hauling her sword from its scabbard she clutched the hilt in both hands as she advanced on the stunned vampire. Drawing back her arms she brought the sword whistling around and down on the vampire’s neck.

His head seemingly jumped into the air as it spun and the vamp’s body started to fall towards the cobbles. Before either head or body had time to hit the cobbled street the bloodsucker had turned to dust and had blown away on the breeze coming up from the harbour.

“Slayer, one,” Faith said quietly as she returned her sword to its scabbard, “vamp, no chance!”



You might like to copy and paste this link to your favourite search engine and listen to the Hollies sing ‘Stop all the Dancing’.

And the words so you can sing along…

See the girl with cymbals on her fingers
Entering through the door
Ruby glistening from her navel
Shimmering around the floor

Bells on feet go ting-a ling-a linging
Going through my head
Sweat is falling just-a like-a tear drops
Running from her head

Now she's dancing, going through the movements
Swaying to and fro
Body moving, bringing back a memory
Thoughts of long ago

Blood is rushing, temperature is rising
Sweating from my brow
Like a snake, her body fascinates me
I can't look away now

Stop, stop, stop all the dancing
Give me time to breathe
Stop, stop, stop all the dancing
Or I'll have to leave

Now she's moving all around the tables
Luring all in sight
But I know that she cannot see me
Hidden by the light

Closer, closer, she is getting nearer
Soon she'll be in reach
As I enter into a spotlight
She stands lost for speech

Stop, stop, stop all the dancing
Give me time to breathe
Stop, stop, stop all the dancing
Or I'll have to leave

Stop, stop, stop all the dancing
Give me time to breathe
Stop, stop, stop all the dancing
Or I'll have to leave

Now I hold her, people are staring
Don't know what to think
And we struggle knocking over tables
Spilling all the drinks

Can't they understand that I want her
Happens every week
Heavy hand upon my collar
Throws me in the street

Stop, stop, stop all the dancing
Give me time to breathe
Stop, stop, stop all the dancing
Or I'll have to leave

The End

You have reached the end of "Stop All The Dancing.". This story is complete.

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