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Summary: The Scoobies deal with the aftermath of Halloween where Xander ended up bedding Buffy, Willow, and Cordelia with the result being the latter two are pregnant.
Read “Expletive Not Deleted” for previous events.
AN: I chose Literature as the crossover type because much has been written about Casanova, especially by himself.
AN – Thoughts denoted by asterisks - *I am thinking.*
Buffy ran. And ran. And ran.
She had no destination in mind. In fact her whole concentration was just on running. Placing one foot in front of the other as fast as she could.
Not exactly the stationary meditation she was used to, but just as effective for clearing her mind of things she didn’t want to think of.
It worked, until it didn’t. And when it didn’t work anymore she stopped running and collapsed. Not from physical exhaustion, as she could have run all the way to L.A. at the pace she’d been using without breaking a sweat.
No, it was emotional exhaustion. She’d been so sure she was pregnant and to find out she wasn’t had numbed her. It was in this state that she had cleaned up after the ritual and taken the ‘Pill’. There had been a slight delay as she stared at the ‘Pill’ in her hand as she prepared to flush it along with the other evidence. Looking at the ‘Pill’, she knew she couldn’t face the wait to see if she would yet conceive.
So she popped the ‘Pill’ into her mouth and swallowed it dry.
She told herself that it was for the best. There was nothing there so she didn’t kill anything and therefore there should be no guilt.
But there was guilt. Not so much over the loss of something physical that might have come about. But the loss of an idea, a hope that she could still be something other than The Slayer. That idea was dead now by her own hand.
So she lay curled into a ball in the middle of some woods, mourning the last of her childhood dreams of the perfect life.
It was well past midday when she slowly walked out of Miller’s Woods.
She had cried, slept and even meditated.
The Rage had not made an appearance for which she was thankful. It was still with her, though. She knew that for sure. It would flare briefly whenever her thoughts wandered to her loss of self because of the spell.
It had stunned her a bit when she discovered as part of her meditation that it was the rape of her mind, that subsequently allowed the rape of her body, that caused the biggest flares of The Rage. Knowing that Xander and Willow were also mind raped and therefore not responsible for their actions while under the influence of the spell mitigated any real feelings of Rage, at least against them. When viewed as part of the overall subjugation of her will, it flared as strong as ever.
She didn’t even feel any of The Rage directed at Cordelia since the cheerleader had had no malicious intent towards anyone when she started the sequence of events that she did. Even knowing that Cordelia had failed to recognize when Casanova was asking about protection didn’t seem to direct even animosity towards her annoying classmate. The fact that Cordelia was an even better kisser than Casanova made it hard for Buffy to even feel normal anger against the busty brunette.
*Not that I’ll be able to enjoy kissing either of them again,* she thought a bit morosely. *Not even Willow.*
Buffy still hadn’t been able to recall anything from the vision she’d had the previous evening when she was home meditating. Bits and pieces would flit by too quickly to get any sort of concrete impression of what they might mean. The only thing she knew for certain was that they were definitely related to The Rage since her inner calm became totally unsettled whenever those flits occurred.
She was going to need Giles’ help to unravel the mystery and possibly Jenny’s as well to keep her calm enough for Giles to do his thing. As it was, she knew the spell the computer teacher had done was the only thing keeping her from checking herself into an asylum, with their unfashionable coats, stark white walls, and calming drugs. Her last encounter with that environment had not left a good taste in her mouth, the food had been even worse than the school cafeteria, but to keep her friends and family safe she’d deal with it.
However, the spell was working at the moment and she had a task to do before she went back to the Library.
She had to eliminate a potential threat to Xander’s life and limb so he could be there for his children. Her resolve on this point was as intense as The Rage. She might not bear Xander’s children but he, and those who would, would be protected at all costs.
It didn’t take long for her to reach her destination. She probably should have dawdled in that as she approached she wasn’t sure how she was going to proceed. That the potential threat to Xander’s welfare had to be eliminated was a given. However, there were several different approaches on how to accomplish that.
The most permanent way would have Xander doing his Snoopy Dance for at least a month. But that might not be the best way for ensuring his future wellbeing and the wellbeing of Willow, Cordelia, and his children. Therefore, the permanent solution would be held as a fallback position if other methods turned out to be unsuitable.
She really hoped it didn’t come to that.
She went to the side door instead of the front and knocked.
It took a couple of minutes before the door opened.
“Buffy,” said Angel.
“Angel,” she softly replied with a sad smile.
He stepped back and she entered the mansion.
“I stopped by to fill you in on what happened last night,” she said as they made their way to a couch in a nearby room.
“Xander turned up and he’s alright,” she continued as she sat on one end of the couch and Angel sat on the other.
While he wasn’t sure what was wrong, he did pick up on Buffy’s apparent nervousness.
“He apparently contacted Miss Calendar to help him deal with the issues brought about by his possession and then came to the Library with her so we could all talk things out.”
“Buffy,” Angel interrupted. “Did something bad happen to you and the others last night?”
“Not bad per se. But definitely something that could make things awkward for a bit as we all adjust.”
Angel was getting quite worried at the somewhat ominous path Buffy’s non-explanation was taking.
“Well,” she started. “As you know, people were changed into their costumes last night. Xander went as an 18th Century adventurer. He was an accomplished swordsman and managed to save me, Willow, and Cordelia from Spike who ended up dusted when he failed to realize exactly how good Xander was with a sword.”
“Spike’s gone and Xander did it?” asked a shocked Angel.
“I know it sounds a bit out there,” admitted Buffy because she was still trying to reconcile Xander’s actions as Casanova and what she was used to from him in such situations. Not that he wouldn’t have jumped in to protect them if he wasn’t possessed, but the more precise and thoughtful way he did it.
*Now comes the tricky part,* she mused.
“Anyway, once Spike was gone and we got somewhere safe from the continuing chaos happening, we discussed suitable rewards for his heroism.”
Being a product of an 18th Century upbringing himself, Angel stiffened as various implications of a sexual nature came to mind.
“He didn’t take advantage of you did he?” Angel asked with a tinge of anger in his voice, while also taking a surreptitious sniff.
“NO!” Buffy shouted, than added a bit more subdued but still forcefully. “He was a perfect gentleman. In fact he was more the pursuee than the pursuer.”
*At least by Willow and Cordelia,* she added mentally. *Angel doesn’t need to know about my initial reticence.*
“You had sex with Xander!?!?!” Angel stated incredulously, too stunned to even shout as he identified the subtle change in Buffy’s normal scent.
“Actually, I had sex with Casanova who just happened to be using Xander’s body. Willow and Cordelia had sex with his as well. And for the record, no one was forced to do anything they didn’t want to. Granted it might not have happened if we were in our right minds at the time but other than being possessed, there was no undo duress involved that influenced our decisions. That’s why I’m here to explain to you that it was none of our faults. If you want to get mad and take it out on someone it’s the guy who cast the spell in the first place you should direct your anger at. Not Xander! Not Willow! Not Cordelia! And not me!”
Before Angel could say anything, she continued, “I mean it Angel. Everyone is going to have to adjust to what happened and you better not make it more difficult than it already is. Xander, Willow, and Cordelia don’t need any additional stress. If you don’t think you can deal, then you should leave town until you can.”
Angel was taken aback by Buffy’s intensity. Intellectually he knew a possession spell would subvert a person’s normal inclinations but emotionally he was seething that Harris had had sex with Buffy under any circumstances. It was just one more thing that could pull Buffy to the irritating youth. He was certain that if Willow wasn’t so obvious about her desire for Harris, well obvious to everyone except Harris that is, that Buffy would have picked him as a potential boyfriend last Spring when she tried dating a few normal guys. But loyal Buffy wouldn’t do that to her redheaded friend, another fact that Harris was clueless about.
“Now, I hope you can deal because I could really use the help keeping Sunnydale safe.”
“What about Xander and Willow?” asked a suddenly confused Angel.
“Xander and Willow are going to have other concerns that will take precedence over patrolling,” said Buffy.
While Angel might picture Willow not going on patrol with Buffy, he couldn’t quite fathom something that would keep Harris from doing so other than being dead.
Buffy explained when she saw his brow furrowed in thought.
“Willow, Cordelia, and I were concerned about the possible consequences of having had sex,” she said. “As it turns out there is a spell that can reveal whether conception has occurred or not even only a few hours after the fact. It showed that Willow and Cordelia are pregnant and that I’m not.”
She took a breath at this point to help damp down the sadness that statement brought on.
“Therefore, it would be too dangerous for her child for Willow to patrol and Xander needs to focus on hers and Cordelia’s welfare instead of risking his life with me. So it’ll just be you and Giles who are available to help out with patrol, and Giles isn’t available every night.”
Not really wanting to go into anymore detail at this time, or maybe ever, Buffy stood and said, “I’ve got to get back to the Library and talk to Giles about things and find out if there might be any fledges rising tonight.”
Angel had risen when she did and was standing when she moved forward to hug him. He hugged her back and then she left.
Angel knew it would be a while before he would be able to control his emotions concerning Harris. The fact that the boy wouldn’t be patrolling with Buffy anymore would help keep him from running into him. If he avoided going to the Library then the potential for their interacting would also be lessened. That just left controlling the urge to hunt Harris down and acquaint him with some of Angelus’ favorite pastimes.
However, he could tell that Buffy was very serious when she warned him off of doing anything, physical or otherwise, to Harris. Therefore he needed to find a different outlet for the anger roiling in his gut.
Then he suddenly remembered, *Dru. With Spike gone, she’ll be at loose ends and she never did get along well with minions. Though she could be quite tenacious when on the hunt. I wonder if her visions have told her about Spike yet and who took him out?*
As Buffy walked away from the mansion, she pondered, *Why didn’t I ever notice how cold, Angel feels even through his clothes?*
The image of the pleasant warmth of Xander’s, Willow’s, and Cordelia’s bodies pressing against hers floated into her head and stayed there most of the way back to the school.