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Croquet Without Hedgehog or Flamingo

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This story is No. 4 in the series "An Ode to a City". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Being the Second Part of our Heroine's Adventures in a Wicked Place

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
DC Universe > Batman > Drusilla-CenteredbatzulgerFR1387,5154318,42430 Jan 106 Feb 10Yes

Sweeping Up the Crumbs of Truth

The local constabulary arrived shortly after Clement's call.

Miss Emma, Kate, and Renee had returned to their true faces, and were speaking with the chief inspector while I was apologizing to my guests for the oh so awful conclusion to a housewarming. Surprisingly, and partially a bit frighteningly, many of them seemed accustomed to such occurrences and considered it part of the price of residing in Gotham. Eventually all my guests had departed, and it was my turn to be interrogated by a rather slovenly looking detective.

"So uh, Lady Drusilla Lune?"

"Yes Inspector."

"Detective, Ma'am, Detective Bullock."

"I'm so terribly sorry you remind me of a police Inspector I once met in London. You don't have family there do you? It's wonderful to have family you know."

"Uh no Ma'am, no family in London that I've heard of. Anyway, could you tell me,

"Of course."

He waited...and waited...and waited. I was having a difficult time not laughing or smiling at his consternation, until finally his resolve broke.

"I meant, please tell me, in your own words, what happened here tonight?" he managed to maintain his external composure, but inside I could see that he was both mildly amused, and mildly annoyed at my actions. An interesting dichotomy to be sure, so I began to look deeper as I replied.

"Well Detective, I had just moved here so I had decided to throw a small party as a housewarming event. It was proceeding quite swimmingly, until these hooligans decided to disturb it."

"Go on, " he was scribbling away at his notes.

"Well, I offered them punch, and their leader Janus..." his eyebrows raised.

"As in the two faced god of chaos?"

"Very good, " I beamed at him, "You are an educated man."

"Not really, it's just with some of the whackos in this city, useless information can save your life."

"How terribly exciting!"

"Yeah, now Lady Lune, please continue from when Two-Face and his goons showed up?"

"Oh yes, I told him they could have punch and biscuits, and their leader did a most curious thing. He thanked me for my offer, and then flipped a silver dollar to decide whether to accept it or not. It landed with its scarred face up, so apparently that was the negative result. He then ordered two of his thugs to escort me to the house safe, and the rest to start collecting valuables from my guests."

"Did they harm you?"

"Oh no! They merely threatened. Their leader really was awfully civil to me."

"What happened next?"

"Well, I walked upstairs with the two thugs and took them where they needed to go, and then all the lights went out. I hid until they came back on."

"Did you see what happened to the goons that were with you?"

"Yes, they suddenly became terribly fatigued, and fell asleep."

"Could you see who caused that?"

"I'm sure there was no one visible in the upstairs hall except the three of us. Unless there were ghosts...Do you think there were demons or the undead here Detective Bullock?"

"Ahh no, I don't think so. So, the lights went out. Did you see anything?"

"How could I? It was horribly dark and scary. Oh Detective, I am being a terrible hostess in not giving you sufficient information to solve this mystery."

"You're doing fine Lady Lune, just tell me what happened next."

"Well, there was all sorts of crashing and yells from the ballroom. As I was by the stairs, it would not be possible to hear them clearly, especially as I had been on the floor above. After a while the sounds died out and the lights came back on. I entered the ballroom and saw this mess and was then informed by my butler that he had notified the constables. I thanked him for his assistance and then began speaking to my guests to calm them. Then you approached me and here we are."

"Is there anything else?"

"Oh, I'm sure there is..." I looked apologetic and ashamed and let my voice trail off, "It was quite traumatic you know."

"Yeah...well if you remember anything else, your butler has my card."

"I am sorry I couldn't be of more assistance. In recompense you should feel free to help yourself to the buffet. It is quite a good selection, " I could see that his heart brightened at the prospect, "Please, Detective. You and your constables should help yourselves, otherwise it shall all go to waste."

"Well thanks Lady Lune. For your answers and the food."

"It is really no difficulty, I'm just grateful that someone so efficient responded as quickly as you did."

With that he tipped his hat and began speaking to his forces. In ones and twos they drifted over to the food, and helped themselves.

"You didn't lie at all did you?"

"Of course not Renee. He's a good man at heart, how could I lie to him? He was a close friend of yours wasn't he?"

"He used to be my partner when I was still a cop."

"Don't worry. I won't harm him or hinder him. He seems nice at the core, " the two of us waved good bye as Gotham's constables left.

"He is and Dru..."

"Yes?"

"Great party."
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